Quick A/N: Play this song on loop until the end!^^
Roy's Point of View
I head into the bathroom and grab Shane and I toss him over my shoulder and bring him back out to the bedroom. I put him on the bed and stand in front of him. "Look, okay! I know that you probably are pissed at me and you have every right to be. But if you could just hear me out please I would greatly appreciate it!" I say. "Continue!" He says. "Shane, I sat in here going over what I would say over and over again, but now I don't even know what to say! I just can't even bring myself to even say anything because it just makes me.....I just don't....*gets misty eyed**Shane notices and immediately stands up and embraces him* I just fuck up so much that it really makes me feel....I bully everybody else about their relationship, but I can't even control mine! It's so fucking pathetic, and I..... I...*breaks down crying* I feel like I'm fucking suffocating and I can't breathe! I try to hold myself together but I'm only human and I can only hold so much in before I break, and I just can't take it anymore! You don't think I hurt inside every time I hurt somebody else, that it doesn't kill me every time I fucking hurt you? Every time I've done so much that you don't even want to say anything to me? Because I do! It hurts! It hurts like hell Shane! I wish that I could take back everything that I've ever done to hurt you, to hurt anyone else, I just want to take it all back! To forget! I want to wake up in the morning and feel guilt free! I want to be here for you! I want to be better, but it's like every time I try to I always do something to make matters worse! And I know that a person only gets so many chances and I'm scared! I'm so fucking scared of losing you! Because you're the only one who makes me want to change and it makes no sense! You look at me and see beauty, but the only thing that I ever see whenever I look at me, is disgust, and it makes me sick! It makes me sick to my stomach Shane! I see this horrible person, terrible friend, wretched lover! I hate myself! I hate my body! I hate evrything about myself! I can't do anything right! And I hate myself for that! Because every time I get a negative comment thrown at me it hurts even more! Because I know it's true! It makes me want to die! And I die inside every time it happens but I just put on a brave face and pretend that I don't know that another person hates me just as much as I hate me! I just wish that I could die and then everybody would be happy because who's going to miss me? Nobody at all! Nobody will the bitch who ruins everything, including my own self! My life! My chances! And I just can't sit back and ignore the fact that I'm a worthless piece of shit! I'm worthless, I've always been worthless, and I'll always be worthless! But no, you sit around and act like I'm not worthless! It's not because you believe I'm not worthless, it's because you pity me! You think I'm just as pathetic as I do! And it tears me in half from the inside out every time I have to play somebody else's pity toy! Because I don't need anybody's pity! I don't need anybody else who thinks of me as a fucking charity fucking case! I don't need anybody to see me vulnerable because that just means that they pity me more! Means that you just pity me more! And I'm a fool! I'm a moron! I'm an idiot! An idiot for thinking that somebody really did see something special in me! An idiot for falling for you! And an even bigger idiot for thinking you meant it when you said that you loved me! Nobody loves me! Not even Jesus Christ because everybody knows that he hates the gay's! Because it's not how he made us! I can't even be the proper creation! I do everything wrong! I fail at everything! And most of all I suck at life! I wish I would just die already! And here I was about to do the stupidest thing I could imagine! Here I was about to give myself to you! Because why not? I won't find anyone else who "loves" me! And I can't believe I actually almost believed you! Believed what you told me! Believed how you supposedly felt about me! Wow! Why was I even put on this Earth? Why are you even here? Because you don't love me! You don't care about me! You don't care about what happens to me either! Are you just here just for decoration? Or am I the one here for just decoration? Nobody loves me! I can't even love myself! Who else is going to love me? Nobody can love me! Not even you! Because you're just a big liar! A con artist! Good at deceiving people! Good at deceiving people into thinking that they mean something! That they mean something to you! But it's all just a big ass mother fucking load of crap! You're a bitch! You're just a big ass mother fucking bitch! You're a bitch! I'm a bitch! That's about all we have in common! I'm the prey! I'm the prey and you're the predator! You're here to hurt me! To woo me into thinking that everything's fine! Then you'll sneak attack me when I least expect it! Isn't that your goal! Your main goal! What keeps you going! Or is what keeps you going the fact that you know that you can deceive others with your "love"? Is that it?"
Shane's Point of View
"I'm speechless! Roy you are so fucking awesome! I hate that you don't see that! You always act so confident! You had your rant! Now it's my turn! You're beautiful! So fucking beautiful Roy! *takes off Roy's shirt then his pants* You hate your body? Well I love your body! I love your body! I love you! From the top of your head to the bottom of your feet! This *points to Roy's body* is all sexy! It's all the package deal! You're the package deal! Roy nobody hates you! Especially not me! I would die for you if I had to! And you're not a bitch! You're not stupid! You're not worthless! You're not a price of shit! Roy! You're, you're! You're the best lover I've ever had, ever will have! I will love you in spite of! Regardless of the way you feel about yourself! Regardless of the way you feel about me! Regardless of the way you feel about anyone else! I will love you! I love you now! I loved you then! And I'll always love you Roy! You are the light of my life! You are the reason I breathe! The reason I come home everyday! The reason I can get through all the struggles of everyday life! The first thing I think about in the morning! The last thing I think about at night! The first thing I see in the morning! The last thing I see at night! The first thing I want to see in the morning! The last thing I want to see at night! You are my one! You are my only! You are my one and only Roy Haylock! And right now I'm telling you that I love every part of you! I love your hair! *kisses his hair* I love your forehead! *kisses his forehead* I love your temples! *kisses his temples* I love your ears! * *kisses his ears* I love your cheeks! *kisses his cheeks* I love your nose! *kisses his nose* I love your lips! Your sideburns! The fuzz on your top lip! Your chin! The stubble around your face! *kisses all of the above* I worship the ground you walk on! I am forever devoted to you! You are mine! I am yours! We are each others! I love each and every one of your flaws! Your imperfections! Your doubts! Your secrets! Your thoughts! Your daydreams! I love every thing about you Roy! We are soulmates in my opinion! We were destined to be together! We were made for each other! You asked why were you put on this Earth? The answer to that question is that you were put on this Earth to love me! Just like I was put on this Earth to love you! We were both put on this Earth by Jesus Christ, the son of God, and Mary, and all things holy, to love each other! Why can't you see that! It's no scan baby! I love you! And not only do I love you, I love for who you are! And it hurts me to hear you say that I never really loved you! Because I always did! From the very beginning! I love you with all of my heart! I love you with all of my soul! I love you with all of my spirit! I love with every single thing that I have in me! I ache for you when you're away from me! And when you're with me, I smile like J
God himself kissed me square on the lips! When you're here with me I'm the happiest! You complete me! You make my life! My whole wide world complete! You make me smile! You make me laugh! You make me happy! Not because I force you to! But because you just do! It's never forced or rushed with you when it comes to love! Especially not from me! Because when it comes to my love for you, nothing in this world, planet, galaxy, solar system can compare! Can match my love! My everlasting, undying love for you! There is not, nor will there ever be enough words for me to explain, even try to explain, or even just tell you how much I love you Roy! You are my everything! My start! My end! My sun! My moon! My lion! My lamb! My lover! My best friend! My protector! My body guard! My alpha! My omega! My love! My life! My heart! My macho man! My trooper! My soldier! My captain! My sergeant! My colonel! My everything! I can't even tell you this enough time's! And when you talk like you're talking right now it makes me feel like I've failed you! Like I've let you down! Which would mean that I failed myself! Because I put so much of myself into you! Into making you feel special because you are! You really are! My solidity! It's all placed in you! Because not only do you need somebody to depend on, but so do I! Everybody does! Because nobody is perfect! Not by a long shot! But you're perfectly imperfect to me! In my eyes! You're my star! My hole my dreams! My shooting star! You're a champion Roy and anyone who told you otherwise was jealous! Jealous because they aren't you! Because they can never be you! Because we are one! I love you! I love you! I love you! We are beyond favored! We are lucky! You're lucky to have me! And I most definitely am lucky to have you! You're my strength! And even though sometimes it might not feel like it you are! Even when you're not strong yourself, I'm your strength! You are my inspiration! I strive everyday to help you be better! And even though you might not feel like it you help me become a better person everyday too! I love you!"
Roy's Point of View
"I can try to get better if you help me and promise to always love me!" I say through my sniffles because I'm still crying. "Always and forever baby! I promise! I swear on my life!" He says wiping away my tears then his. I stick out my pinky. "I cross my heart, hope to die, stick two needles in both of my eyes!" We say in unison. "I love you!" I tell Shane. "And I love you most!" He says kissing me passionately. He pushes me onto the bed and straddles my lap! Wow, can the moment get heated!
A/N
Well you guys this is by far the longest chapter I've written on Wattpad! But I wanted to do something for you guys for being the best! My story is almost at 1k reads so you guys keep reading and voting and I'll keep turning out stories! Thank you for all of your support you guys are the best in the world!
Love to you all!~Delilah Sapphire
2183 words in this chapter including this sentence!