Pansy jerked awake, surprised by the solid feel of the ground below him.
Wasn't I just drowning now? Pansy thought, but shook it off. At least now he still had a chance to tear up Kim Kardashian's ass later in life, as scripted in his bucket list.
"Child..." A tranquil voice sang, and he swiveled his head sideways, looking for its source.
"Who the fuck said that?!"
The voice tutted. "Please, refrain from the foul language, child..."
The owner of the voice appeared; she was a tiny blue fairy that fluttered in the still breeze. She looked ethereal. "It is I, the majestic-"
"Ahhhhh! Weird ass looking bug!" Pansy screamed and lunged his hands to squash the supposed insect.
The blue fairy's face turned red with anger. "DAMN SON, LOOKIE HERE I JUST TRYNA TALK TO YOU SO SIT YOUR LAME ASS THE FUCK DOWN AND LISTEN UP." She slapped him. "I AIN'T GONNA GET PAID MINIMUM WAGE FOR DEALING WITH SOME JUDGMENTAL KID WITH A STICK SHOVED UP HIS ASS, DAMMIT." Blue spat.
Pansy was stunned. "Where am I?"
Blue, who was still livid, spoke rashly, "I was gonna be all fancy at first and use all my props and effects, but you killed my vibe, so fûck it." She threw her glitter to the ground, and disappearing powder, then shrugged off the harness that kept her afloat. Blue expanded to the height of a normal human being as her azure complexion faded. "Make sure my boss don't hear this, ya got that? Anyway what your name?"
"Pansy Femme."
Blue 'cachinnated'. "Is this some sort of joke? C'mon, kid, I wasn't born yesterday." Pansy wasn't sure when but somewhere along the line Blue had pulled out a joint from her bra strap and began to smoke it.
"It's not good to smoke. Crack is healthier than weed!"
Blue looked disgusted. "Did you grow up stupid or were you born that way, son?"
Pansy frowned. "Just tell me where I am, woman!"
"Oh, you're in the shitty little world of Trumpville, Pants."
Pansy didn't bother correcting his name, as his heart palpitated wildly against his rib cage. "T-trump?"
"I said what I said."
"OMFG IS DONALD TRUMP HERE?! Hdbdnbdsvbajs s!!!" He was so happy he jumped on her.
Blue pushed him away. "Fuck off. I got this dress new and you ain't gonna mess it up."
But Pansy was too busy seizuring from excitement to listen. "O my gah! When can I get to meet him. He's my inspiration, my life hero. I've been a fan of his since-"
"Aye aye aye, shut it. I didn't ask for your life story."
"Oh tell me, Majestic One, how shall I reach Trump?"
Blue rolled her eyes. "I got a party soon, but according to my job I have to give you a backstory of this hellhole and the cunt you speak of.
"This wasn't always called Trumpville. It's an old myth it was called Earth or something a long time ago... Before Donald Trump became president and eventually took over the world with this crazy monkey called Mojo Jojo.
"He belongs to a cult or something idk. Or a group. Like I said I don't know. The witches of the south, west, and east, but only God knows what he did to the other bîtches lmao ain't no one seen them for yearsssss.
"So now this is Trumpville and its a hella mess and you gotta fix it, kid."
"M-me?"
"Is there anybody else here? Everybody clearly knows it's always the inept and unqualified main character that has to save the day, kid. Ketchup, dog."
"I'm trying to, hoe." Pansy rubbed his head. "When can I meet him? Donald Trump?"
Blue threw her head back in boisterous laughter. "Meet? You gotta slay him!"
"Wear good eyeliner on him?"
She slapped Pansy again. "Damn son. You gotta kill him. X him. Eliminate him!!!"
Pansy near fainted of shock. "GOD FORBID I KILL MY FATHER."
Blue pulled a face.
"There's someone better than Trump in Lean City. You can meet that one if it tickles your fancy."
"NO ONE IS BETTER THAN TRUMP." Pansy was near tears.
"He'll give you free crack."
"So yeah bitch, how we gonna murder Trump? I'm all ears."
"Follow the gold road. Made with raw bling."
Pansy suddenly noticed the iridescent path underneath his feet. "Neat, dude."
"Wait, before you get your knickers in a twist. You gotta wear these silver shoes."
"Silver? I see red."
"Wuteva just wear em."
"I don't wanna take off my Yeezy's."
"Would you prefer I take off your head?"
Pansy quietly changed into the silver or red shoes. He tucked his Yeezy's in his briefs because there was still a lot of space in there. ☹️"Okay so how do I get to the City of Lean?"
"I ain't yo momma, boy. Find it yourself, I got a party to go to!!! I hear Miley Cyrus will be there; I wanna ruin that bitch." With a finally puff on her joint, Blue said , "Good luck, kid." And then she disappeared.
Pansy stood on the golden road of bling, with nothing but a pair of Yeezy's, red or silver shoes, and a broken heart.
He couldn't forget about Trump that easily; Trump was his love, his life. There was just something about his darling orange complexion, his cheap hairpiece, tiny beady eyes, and repulsive old man lips.
The way he spoke like a bigot, his irritating and endearing choky voice. It sounded like a scratching record, or the clawing of fingernails against a chalkboard. Ah...
Pansy sighed, and started to walk. His strength was rekindled at the thought of new crack, and he put both fists in the air and screamed, "I'M COMING FOR YOU, TRUMP!
Huehueuhuehue."
•••
Idk just keep reading lol 😂