“There is nothing in the world so wonderful as to love and be loved; there is nothing as devastating as love lost.”
Chapter 3
Cali’s POV
The pain is unbearable. The only thing keeping me from passing out is the thought that Samuel will be there waiting for me. I must get through this I think as I hear and feel another bone pop out of it’s socket.
I should be almost done shifting. But strange the pain has moved from my bones to my chest. Ahhh, What’s going on. I feel this bewildering pain, this immense sadness, Loneliness.
‘No, no this can’t be’
I hear in my head.
‘Are you my wolf?’ I ask.
‘Yes, my name is Faith” but there is something wrong.
‘I know I feel it to. Did something go wrong with the shift?’ I ask concerned.
‘The the shift went as planned but there is something missing. I feel so much pain.’ Faith tells me.
‘I feel it too, intense pain and loneliness.’ I manage to whisper.
“Cali can you hear me” I look up and see Rene talking to me. I try to answer and hear myself barking. Ah no voice, I try to giggle but can’t too much sadness.
‘Rene something went wrong to much pressure, I feel too much pressure on my chest.’ I tell him.
I see Rene look at Katrina. Then they all turn to look at me.
‘Mate, I though you found mate?’ Faith my wolf tells me.
“I did find him, maybe he can help us” I tell Faith as I run to our spot in the woods.
As I get closer to our spot I feel the pain increase. I try to control my breathing so I don’t stumble. The pain is now searing through my body.
‘No, No, No’ Faith says as she lifts our head and howls out in pain. I am bewildered as to what is happening for a moment. Then it hits me.
‘He left. He left us didn’t he?’ I manage to gasp out through the pain.
I feel a hand on my back and my first instinct is to snap that persons hand of for daring to touch me. Rene backs off when he sees my anger. He kneels down in front off me and that is when I notice the tears streaming down his face.
‘What do you know that you’re not telling me?’ I scream through my mind link opening it up to all that are there. For it is then that I notice that they are all, crying silently.
Katrina also kneels by me. “We all feel the immense pain and loss you are feeling at the moment.” She tells me. “We are all grieving your loss. Samuel was called back to serve our Alpha. He was only sent here to make sure I found my mate. He never even imagined that it was here that he would find his mate.” She tells me.
I try very hard to process what she is telling me. ‘He left me. He didn’t love me enough to stay. He rejected me.” I say on a sob.
“No don’t say that. It’s because he loved you so much that he left. The evil Dark One offered him a chance of becoming human so he could be with you. In exchange, for his soul and for him to be free.” I heard him but my mind heard just on one thing …He left me.
I took off running and I could hear Rene shift but I also hear Katrina tell him to let me be.
I mind linked her “Thank you Katrina I need to be alone.” I went home and shifted back into my human form. It seemed to hurt a little less in human form then in wolf form. I put on a black dress because now I am in mourning not in celebration for my life has ended. I looked in the mirror at my pathetic face my mascara had run down my eyes.
I then walked over to the bed and just sat there. Letting the pain and loneliness consume me.
Samuel’s POV
I was alone in my room just waiting for the moment of her shift. Since I know she is my mate. Even though I did not claim and mark her I can still feel her. I feel the pain consume me the moment she realized that I was gone. It literally took my breath away. I felt so lost and helpless. I miss her, her face, her smile.
I would tell you that my heart is breaking but it’s not. I left it with her so as long as it’s with her it’s protected. I howl from the pain. Divinity comes to see me when he hears my pain. ‘I am so sorry things had to happen this way. But please do not lose Faith. Faith will be what saves you in the end.’ He tells me.
‘I have faith Divinity, but her pain is so strong. The feeling of rejection is overwhelming’ I tell him. ‘I wish I could have told her I was leaving, I wish I could be there for her, I wish I could ease her pain. I wish I never approached her. I wish I could make her forget she ever met me.’ I tell Divinity.
‘Samuel would you give up your mate to ease her pain knowing that you may perish forever?’ He asked me.
I thought about it. If I died she would be released from me being her mate and she would be able to find another mate one that will be human like her and love her like she deserves to be loved. She will stop feeling this pain from our separation and the feeling of rejection. She will be able to be whole again. She will forget me in time. But the pull will be lost so I would be nothing more to her then a beautiful memory.
There was no thinking about it.
‘Yes Divinity I will give up my life so that she may be happy again. I want her to live and get her mate and have babies. I want her to have the things I would have loved to have had with her. I will end her suffering’ I told him.
He looked at me for a while. “I will give you until tomorrow to think about it. Then I will come for your answer. If you would still give up your life for her happiness. So shall it be.’ He tells me.
I agree knowing full well that tomorrow I will die for my Love. Cali will be whole again.
Rene’s POV
I have been sitting here with Katina looking at my sister sitting on the pier. She is not crying anymore. That seems to scare me more then when she did cry. It feels like a bad sign.
‘Katrina what is she feeling know, I’m confused?’ I ask her.
‘Rene she shut down. She retreated into herself. It does not feel like a good thing. Lets shift back and we can take her back home with us.’ She tells me as she shifts and gets dressed.
We then walked over to Cali and she was just staring into space. She did not move or anything. I picked her up and carried her to our house. I settled her into our spare bedroom.
I came out and all the guys were there. “So what happened?” asked Logan.
“I don’t know she just looks in shock.” I tell them.
“Oh poor thing” Destiny says.
“The pain must be worse because she is so far from him.” Sofia said.
“We all felt pain not mating with you guys, but we were close to you. Physically that is. Her body feels the far separation as a rejection. Her wolf is in more pain than her.” Serenity explains.
“I should have sent him back the moment he first made contact. I did not know he kept visiting her. He strengthened their bond. I thought she needed to be a wolf to do that but apparently she didn’t. They forged a stronger bond because she fell in love with him. Not the outer shell of him.“ Katarina said.
“You guys saw us and loved us for what we looked like first. Our outer shell it was with time that our bond sealed when you got to know the inside. They fell in love with each other’s soul. He was in wolf form, for all she know he could have been a bald old guy. But her love for him would not care what he looks like.” Serenity said.
“We have to figure out a way to help her. He will never come back and she will just deteriorate. If he would have mated her, the separation would have killed him not her” said Sofia.
I turned to Katrina “when you didn’t want me. You would have died not me?” I asked.
She nodded yes and I took her into my arms kissed her. This is not good, not good at all.
“Are you telling me there is nothing we can do for her?” Kevin asked.
“Crap man we have to think of something” Ricky said.
“The only way is if Samuel dies then the bond is broken and she will be healed and be able to find another mate. She will remember him but as more of a friend not as her mate.” Katrina tells us.
I shake my head as I go see how she is doing. I knelt down in front of her bed and cried “I failed you as a brother. I was not there to protect you. Please don’t go and leave me. Cali, we all love you so much. What will I do without my sister” I say as I sob resting my head on her stomach.
…
The next morning Divinity went to see Samuel fearing he already knew his choice.
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Sniff, sniff