© kelliekook
It was a second away from five o'clock when Brianna May received a text. She was leaving the clothing store she worked at when she felt it vibrate in her handbag.
"Shit." She muttered, rummaging through her bag as she walked to her car. Why could she never find anything in this goddamn $90 piece of junk?
Brianna stopped in front of her car just as her fingers touched something cool. She sighed with relief as she took the mobile out. Her momentary delight was short lived upon realising she had yet to get out her car keys. This day truly was shaping up to be top-notch.
After a few more minutes of cursing everything and anyone, Brianna climbed into her car and looked to the phone in her hand.
To her surprise, the text was from Rachel. There had only been a handful of times where Rachel had been the one to text Brianna first since the beginning of their friendship. Generally, she just replied to Brianna's texts and called her whenever she wished to make plans. Rachel hated texting; she said that typing on the small keypad was both 'time consuming' and 'irritating' so she avoided it wherever possible. Personally, Brianna couldn't care less but she found Rachel's annoyance rather amusing and smiled at the prospect of whatever required her to do it.
Please meet me at my apartment. It's important.
Brianna raised her eyebrows. Seemed a little dramatic, for Rachel. You could expect this kind of cryptic phrasing from someone like Maddy, but Rach was hardly one for theatrics. A brief message was not unusual for her, she kept her texting blunt, but this was giving Brianna the jitters.
She started her car with a shudder, but didn't take it out of park just yet. Her mind was buzzing.
Has something happened to Rachel? Is she physically hurt? Has someone stabbed her? Is she currently bleeding to death on the kitchen floor?
Brianna grimaced. There was a ninety-nine percent chance that none of those were true. Her efforts were in vain, a fact she was damn well aware of, but there could be no harm in trying.
Curiosity killed the cat, her mother would have said. Brianna snorted--not if it drove the cat mentally insane first, then who could blame it for wanting to put an end to its misery? She ran a sweaty hand through her hair and fiddled with the air conditioning controls, relaxing ever so slightly as the cool air blasted into the car.
She straightened, put the car into gear and made her way out of the parking lot. Rachel's wasn't far from her work, 10 minutes in bad traffic. She would be the soon and then all her worries will be put to rest.
Brianna turned up the radio to distract her thoughts, scowling as she flicked through the channels. The music on radio was terrible at night. Horrible pulsing beats with no lyrics weren't exactly the best antidote to over-thinking bizarre text messages from friends, that was for sure.
The traffic would be pretty horrific on the main roads, so she opted for a quicker -- albeit longer -- trip through suburbia. It was times like these that she truly came to value her knowledge of the area, the overbearing mother and never-present father may have dominated her childhood memories with unpleasant experiences, but growing up in the city definitely had its advantages.
Thinking of her parents reminded her of the unpleasant task she had yet to take care of.
She sighed, her wedding was only ten days away and she still hadn't confirmed with her father that he would be the one walking her down the aisle.
He'd been very willing to hand over his oldest daughter to the gentleman she loved, but Brianna didn't know if it was right that the man who was barely a father to her should essentially pretend for a day that he was. Had her grandfather not passed away last year she would have chosen him in an instant, nevertheless he was in a better place now – a place where the cancer could no longer torment him.
Brianna pulled up outside of Rachel and Madison's apartment building, her breath shook as she exhaled. At least she had succeeded in taking her mind off the curious text message.
Her mouth twisted into a smile, but it didn't even come close to reaching her eyes.
***
Rachel lifted the kettle and calmly poured the boiling water into the four cups. Her exterior practically oozed false serenity, a truth her friends regarded curiously.
Brianna had been the last of them to arrive, having walked into the room and nearly recoiled from the absolute quiet. She'd looked to Madison for an answer but had received only a shrug in response.
Now she sat on the couch, Jaz sitting beside her and fiddling anxiously with her rings, while Madison perched on the arm rest, never taking her eyes off Rachel.
Rachel brought over their teas and placed them on the coffee table, they were left untouched as they all looked up at her expectantly.
Madison reached out to Rachel. "Whatever it is you need to tell us, I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think."
Rachel smiled sadly. "I suppose I should start from the beginning..." She took a deep breath. "A while back now, as I'm sure you all remembered, we went out to find some romantic 'experience' for me. The first night we went out to that Aqua place, I bumped into this man – Bri may remember him–" Rachel looked directly at Brianna.
Brianna leaned forward, trying to remember any such men but drawing a blank. She shook her head, sitting back again. "No, I'm afraid not."
"Oh, well...moving on, this man that I bumped into he – well, he was....gorgeous–"
"Oh I remember him now!" Brianna grinned. "He was pretty damn fine, and that's coming from someone who was off their face at the time."
Madison and Jaz laughed, making everyone relax slight. Brianna's offhand comment had restored some of the normalcy.
"Yes, he was handsome.." Rachel murmured before continuing. "Anyway, I took one look at him and I felt, I just felt...different, do you know what I mean by that?"
They nodded. "He was hot, you were attracted to him, he was no doubt attracted to you, you wanted each other and you were confused by your sudden feelings of lust – we get it." Madison said, grinning as Brianna and Jaz laughed. Even Rachel couldn't help but smile.
"So, as I was saying, I had what I suppose you could call a 'moment' with this man. He didn't give me his number, or really talk to me, he just apologised and left. At the time, I thought I was never going to see him again but as it turns out, I was wrong."
Rachel smiled. "The next day I saw him at the gym, he introduced himself as Nathan and we talked briefly," the smile began to fade "but that night was when we went out. When I met Shane..."
They all went silent.
Brianna's eyes widened. "I pushed you into going out with that guy, I gave you no choice – my god, I am so sorry Rachel." Brianna stood and walked to her, she grasped her shoulders. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Rachel sighed and rubbed her temples. "Because, I'm an idiot."
Madison rolled her eyes. "Don't be daft!" She exclaimed. "You're a genius, and your kindness exceeds you. You just have trouble telling people no because you're too selfless."
"Exactly!" Rachel said. "I can't even say a simple adverb!"
"That doesn't make you an idiot Rachel," Jaz interjected, "it makes you thoughtful, sweet, caring – a little soft maybe – but not stupid. Never stupid."
Rachel smiled sadly. "Thank you, you're all very sweet."
Madison sat Rachel down on the couch. "We're you're friends it's what we do," she smiled, "now how about you continue with the story. I know there must be more to it."
Rachel nodded. "There is. See, after you asked Shane out for me," Rachel looked at Brianna, "I saw Nathan again and we started to bond. But I already had an obligation to Shane and eventually Nathan found out about that.
"We didn't talk for a while, until after my first date with Shane. But then I ran in to him, it was awkward at first and then suddenly it wasn't. I opened up to him, I was honest. It felt as though we connected."
Rachel closed her eyes and sighed. "Then, next thing I know he's telling me we're just friends regardless, and that he's okay with me dating Shane."
"Stupid males, he definitely wasn't." Madison murmured.
Rachel laughed quietly. "Deep down, I think I thought that too. So, after a little deliberation I decided I was going to tell Shane the truth. Let's just say when I did, he didn't take it well.
"Upset, I called Nathan, goodness knows why, but I did – and he came. He found me on the couch, attempting to drown my sorrows with a bottle of vodka."
She chuckled but it wasn't sincere in its humour. "He looked after me, took away the alcohol and was helping me to bed – when I kissed him."
Jaz placed a sympathetic hand on her arm.
"It was my first kiss and it was everything I imagined, despite the circumstances of course, but it was stupid. He didn't want to kiss me, especially after I'd been drinking, so he tucked me into bed and stayed with me as I asked him too. When I woke in the morning he was gone.
"I haven't heard a single word from him all day. So now I will no doubt waste my days pathetically waiting for him to call or message me." Rachel squeezed her eyes shut. "But he won't. Why would he?" When she opened them her vision was blurred. "I need a minute." She murmured as she got up quickly and hurried to her room.
"Rach!"
Madison made a movement to stand but Brianna stopped her. "I'll go," Brianna said as she stood, "I think it is best I talk to her, considering I'm the one who started this."
"You didn't start this," Jaz said, "but I think you should be the one to talk to her too."
Brianna smiled at her support, nodded and walked down the hallway.
She knocked lightly on Rachel's bedroom door. When there was no response, Brianna simply walked in uninvited.
Rachel sat on her bed with her back to Brianna, staring out the window and fidgeting absently with her hands. Brianna smiled slightly as she moved to sit beside her. Trust Rachel to not burst into tears and hug her pillow like a normal person.
"I'm not entirely sure what you're so sad about." Brianna murmured, breaking the silence.
Since Rachel didn't respond, she continued. "If anything, I think I'm the one to be taking the blame here. If it wasn't for me, you would have been in a relationship with the man you love, not stuck with this mess."
"Why does every body keep saying that?"
"Saying what?"
"That I love him," Rachel frowned, "how could anyone know that?"
"Years of experience," Brianna chuckled, "but mainly common sense."
Rachel's frown deepened. "But how can anyone know what love looks like? How do you know when you're in love?"
"A lot of people will tell you a lot of different answers," Brianna looked out the window, "personally, I think it's all in the eye of the beholder. A person in love can appear as something entirely different to two people of the same gender. If you understand what I'm getting at."
"I suppose I do," Rachel looked at Brianna and smiled, "you didn't answer my question very well."
"Wise advice always comes with challenges."
Rachel laughed. "Since when did you become wise?"
Brianna pretended to look thoughtful. "I think it was around about the same time James proposed to me, and when I ate my first authentic Chinese meal."
"I thought that meal made you vomit?"
"It did," Brianna grimaced, "but I didn't think it was wise to eat something being cooked on the side of the road in the first place. It was James who dragged me into it with his "we're in China, let's try something different!" Whoever said being wise was restricted to being both physical and mental? I have the wise mentality down pat!"
Rachel smiled. "Thank you Bri, I feel a little better now."
"No worries, just trying to reprieve you of your troubles – as all good friends do." Brianna smiled, then turned to Rachel and squeezed her hand.
"I really am sorry Rachel, I was drinking a lot at that time because, to be honest, I was a little troubled, but that still doesn't get me off the hook for doing what I did. You shouldn't be upset for something that wasn't really your fault. You did the right thing in the end – the breaking up with Shane part, not kissing Nathan," Rachel snorted and Brianna grinned, "so don't beat yourself up about it, okay? Don't let yourself be one of those pathetic girls."
Rachel sighed before nodding. "Thank you, you're right. I cannot let myself be like that."
"Glad we agree – just promise me another thing..."
Rachel raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"You won't go over the top with this 'not being pathetic' thing, because you have a tendency to do that with certain things you set your mind to."
"I do no–" Rachel caught the look on Brianna's face and scowled, "Fine then, I promise."
"Good, now let's go have some dinner. Looks like I'm going to have to reject James' offer for some alone time tonight..."
"Bri, you can't expect me to accept that, can you? Go home to your fiancé; I have the others to keep me company."
Brianna grinned, "Relax, I wasn't planning on staying the night Rach," she waggled her eyebrows, "I'm sure James won't mind making dinner for himself if there's promises of desert later on."
Rachel made a gagging noise. "Gee, thank you for that excess information Bri."
Brianna laughed and pulled Rachel to her feet. "You can be a bit of a stick in the mud sometimes Rach."
"And that right there is why you do not qualify as wise Brianna May."
"What, my inclination to have fun?"
"Yes. You can't be a Zen Master if you want to have fun, it just doesn't work that way."
"What's a 'Zen Master'?"
Rachel laughed. "Never mind Bri, never mind."
***
Rachel scooped the remainders of the Bolognese into the Tupperware container while Madison stacked the dishwasher.
On the couch, Jaz slept soundly with Champ curled up at her feet. Rachel grinned at the two of them as she put the leftovers in the fridge.
"I think I will call it a night too." She whispered to Madison.
Madison turned, "Okay, if you're sure. Just let me know if you need anything." Rachel nodded sleepily. "And Rach," Madison hugged her, "sleep well okay."
"I will," Rachel said pulling away, "and thank you for being so understanding – I would have told you sooner, I wanted to, but I–"
"Rachel," Madison interrupted, "it's fine, now go to bed. I'll see you in the morning. Do pancakes sound good?"
Rachel nodded. "Very. Goodnight Maddy."
"Night."
Rachel walked slowly down the hallway and into her bedroom. Too tired to be hygienic, she collapsed onto the covers, kicked off her shoes and snuggled under the sheets.
When unconsciousness took her, there was no trace of Nathan within her thoughts.
It was the first time in what seemed like months.