HARRY'S POV
How could that happen. I was so happy just an hour ago, thinking my perfect girlfriend was coming home with my best mate just to see me. I angrily got up, looking for something to vent on. I grabbed a glass bottle off the dresser and whipped it at the wall. It made a dent in the drywall and cracked the lid in half.
I realized it was a cologne Ari got me a couple months ago. I don't give a fuck. I paced around the room, my emotions a blur and my thoughts completely incomprehensible. One thing I knew for sure, I was going to kill Niall. I wasn't just angry, I was hurt. I loved her so much; no, I love her. No matter what, she'll always hold my heart. This is why I don't like to get attached. Every one hurts you, there's no way around it.
What kills me is that I didn't deserve this. I was at home, sick, waiting. I shouldn't have even let Niall go in the first place. I knew all this time they had something going. I thought for once though, I could love someone and have them love me back. I can't even think about her anymore. It makes me nauseous, she drives me absolutely mad.
I hear the front door softly opening, followed by some whispers. I immediately become even more infuriated than before, as soon as I see Niall's face I'll lose it. Do the rest of the boys know? Yeah, I bet that fucking asshole was bragging about it to them all morning. My fucking girlfriend. Mine. She's mine, even if I don't give a fuck anymore.
"I hope so." I hear that Irish accent, and I can't stand being up here anymore. My breathing becomes uneven, and I get out of my room, taking the stairs quickly. I know they can hear me, their voices have stopped. I skid around the corner, and see them all in the kitchen.
Niall's eyes widen when he see's me walking with...purpose towards him. "You think you can touch my fucking girlfriend!" I yell, pushing back with both hands.
"Oh shit- no, Harry-" He starts, clearly scared out of his wits. I cut him off.
"Don't make up and excuse you bastard!" I push him again. Something's keeping me from just straight on smashing his head into the closest wall. He stumbles back a coupe steps, and puts his arms up in defense. I need him to just fight me back already.
"I thought we were friends! She was the only person left that loved all of me!" I didn't notice that tears started to form in my eyes. My face was hot and I must've looked pretty pathetic to the boys. Niall was in shock. I pushed him again.
"We are! I'm sorry!" He defends, his eyebrows knit together.
"Why'd you let this happen?" I cried at him, my voice still raised. He straightened himself up a bit, but I quickly punched at his shoulder, pretty damn hard.
"Harry, stop." Someone put there hand on my shoulder, I push their arm off me, turning and seeing Louis with a worried look on his face. "It's okay man." He quietly says.
"It's not okay! How could they do this?!" I want to scream, cry, just break down. It's like my heart's being torn to bits inside me.
"We get it mate." Zayn encourages. They don't get it. Not a bit. It's impossible that someone could feel as much pain as I do right now, I can't even imagine it. I drop down to my knees and notice how hard I'm crying, and cover my face with the crook of my arm.
"No you don't!" I scream at the world, removing my arm from my face as I start wiping at the shameful tears all over my cheeks. I hate crying in front of the boys. Obviously it's never been to this extent, but anytime it happens it's embarrassing.
I notice after a minute that they're al sitting on the floor now too, propped against the cupboards of the fridge, stove alike. I look at them questionably.
"Take your time Harry, we're not going anywhere." Liam respectfully says, nodding at them all. I don't know what to say. I kick my feet back so I'm sat against the wall. I bring my knees closer to my chest and try my hardest to keep my sobbing under control.
I glanced over at them all. Each of them were silent, and had that faraway look. It was amazing we all had a kind of connection, where one decided something, and the rest knew exactly what it was. Niall was directly opposite me, remorse and guilt etched all over him. He was scared.
I was scared, because I didn't know what came next. My phone went off. I ignored it. again and again, every couple minutes. It stopped, after the sixth time. I returned to what I was doing before, my eyes closed, trying to think of anything other than her.
ARI'S POV
After I spoke to Matt I immediately got on a bus, going halfway to his house before I'd have to transfer. I had taken a seat in the far back, away from everyone and everything. I tried to text Harry a couple times.
'Harry, you have every right to hate me right now. Take however much time you need. I love you,
-Ariana.'
I sat with that for a minute, then my busy hands couldn't help it anymore.
'Please, please know I love you.
-Ariana.'
'I'm a mess without you, I can't believe I let all that happen.
-Ariana.'
'I'm so sorry.
-Ariana.'
'Please talk to me as soon as you can.
-Ariana.'
That was enough to last me until I had to transfer buses. It was almost one in the afternoon now, I'd be there in an hour. I sat in the back again, unable to read or listen to music. I just wasn't in the mood for distractions. I felt like I didn't even deserve to breathe.
***
"Hey Ari." Matt smiled when he answered the door. I hugged him tight for a minute, keeping in all the pain over the last two days inside until I could thoroughly talk to him.
"Hi Matt. How've you been?" I ask, letting him close the door in the small front area behind me.
"Alright. I've got a couple tests coming up so I'll probably be studying most of the time you're here." He shrugs.
"Yeah, no problem. You still living with the same people?" I ask, fiddling with the zipper on my purse.
"Yup, they all made it through to this year. C'mon, let's go upstairs." As soon as we get into his room and the door shuts, I collapse onto his bed, tears starting to prick my eyes agaun.
"Whoah, what's wrong?" He stands by his desk. I grab one of his pillows and wrap my arms around it, that heaving returns to my chest and I choke on the sobs starting to come. My face is hot and my palms are sweaty. God, I hate this feeling. "What the hell did Harry do- I'll kill him I swear." He starts.
"Nothing! He didn't do anything wrong." I cry, peeking up at him.
"What the hell happened then?" He groans.
"It was me. I kissed Niall." I hate myself even more as I say it aloud to him, afraid he'll hate me too. I feel bad enough I don't want my brother to be disgusted as well.
I hear him sigh. "Oh, God." He mutters. I can't look up. It's a solid five minutes before he talks again. "I'm calling Harry, I feel bad." He sounds pissed. He should be. I sit up, seeing him sitting at his desk, now dialing into his phone. This whole thing is just one big mess.
"Hey Harry." He quietly says.
HARRY'S POV
I sit there staring into nothing, so deep in finally thinking about nothing. It scares the shit out of me when my phone rings, I jump and so do the rest of the boys.
"If it's her don't answer it." Zayn says firmly.
"It's not. It's her brother." I mumble, staring at the screen.
"Then don't-" Louis starts, but I cut him off.
"What if something happened to her?" I worry, a rush of fear surging through my heart. I quickly answer it, right before all the realization that she should mean nothing to me comes back.
"Hullo?" I croak, my voice hoarse from straight up sobbing.
"Hey Harry." He quietly says, I'm kind of wondering why he's called, he doesn't sound panicked.
"Uh, do you need something...Ari's not here." I close my eyes and bite back more emotional throwup just from saying her name.
"No, no, I know. She came here and told me. I'm sorry all this shit happened to you, you're a good guy." He says, I'm left utterly confused.
"What?" I lean my head back against the wall.
"You're a good guy. I didn't want to admit that I thought you were cool, because you know, I wanted to seem tough. But you and the guys have treated me great." He doesn't sound like he's joking, or lying, it's honest. Refreshing.
"Thanks. I have to go I- I don't know." I feel myself starting to crumble again.
"Okay. And, there's nothing wrong with being upset, it doesn't make you any less of a man." I can't believe he's saying all this to me.
"Thanks." I say, then wait for him to hang up. I end the call toss my phone onto the tile in front of me. I don't want to talk to anyone else for the night. I don't want to move.
I let myself fall to the floor on my side, laying down. I stare at Niall, and he stares back. His eyes are glossy and sad, mine are too. I hate this. It's worse than anything I've felt. I'd never expect her to be the one to screw up. I guess I've always assumed I was the one to depend on, that she couldn't get on without me.
Turns out the rolls have been reversed all this time.
**********
A/N
whups.
Twitter- @sheeranpls