Haidee Denise Pangan
"Lilac, kinakabahan ako." Kasalukuyan kong katawagan si Lilac. Ngayon na kasi ang labas naming ni Hunter at kinakabahan ako.
"Gaga! Mag-ayos ka na! Anong kaba-kaba?! Huwag mong palampasin ang pagkakataon na magkakaroon ka ng boyfriend!"
"Sira! Hindi naman ako naghahanap ng boyfriend. Nakaayos na ako. Sabi niya sa akin kanina wear something comfortable raw. Naka white shirt, jeans at rubber shoes ako."
"Haidee! Jusmio! Date 'yan hindi sandaliang labas. Magpalit ka nga!"
"Lilac, sabi niya wear something comfortable. Dito ako kumportable." Sabi ko.
"Nako! Kaya hindi ka nagkaka-boyfriend! Bahala ka kapag ikaw nawalan ng pagkakataon. Hunter Rivera na 'yan bestfriend! Utang na loob 'wag mo ng pakawalan."
"Kung makapagreact parang ikaw ag makikipagrelasyon."
"Bestfriend, ayan na kasi 'yung chance. Pinapalampas mo pa."
"Lilac, kung hindi niya ako matatanggap 'wag niya na lang akong ligawan. Isa pa hindi naman ako in love sa kanya. Si Dave pa rin naman."
"Dave! Dave! Dave! Puro ka na lang Dave."
"Bakit ba? Siya naman talaga noon pa." Sabi ko. Hindi ko mapigilan na hindi maiinis kay Lilac. Pilit niya akong tinutulak kay Hunter. Pati pananamit ko pinupuna. "Sige na, ibababa ko na ito baka dumating na si Hunter."
Ilang minute ang nakalipas at dumating na ang hinihintay ko. "Pasensya ka na dito sa unit ko ha? Medyo makalat hindi pa kasi ako nakapag-ayos."
"It's fine." Nginitian niya ako. Ngumiti ako pabalik sa kanya.
"Tara na ba?" Tanong ko.
He nodded. "You picked the right kind of clothing. Siguradong magtatatalon ka sa pupuntahan natin."
"Ha?" Naguguluhan kong tanong.
Kinuha niya ang isa kong kamay at may iniligay na dalawang tickets. Agad nanlaki ang mga mata ko ng mabasa ko ang nakasulat doon.
"Oh my gosh! Oh my freaking gosh! Mayday Parade!" Nagtatatalon ako sa tuwa. "How? Oh my gosh!" Tili ako ng tili habang tumatalon. I can't contain the feelings I have right now.
"You seem so happy." Kumento niya.
"Are you kidding?! This is my favorite band! Wait! You're not joking, right?"
He laughed. "That's true. It's my favorite band too." He said.
"Really?!" I exclaimed.
He nodded. "Now, let's go before we get late." He held out his hand to me. I smiled at him. Before I took his hand, I tiptoed to kiss his cheek. "Thank you." I said. I took his hand and intertwined my fingers with his.
He led me into his car and he started the engine. I'm just so excited. I can't believe its our first date and look where he is taking me. I can't contain my happiness.
"Why have you decided to bring me to this concert?" I asked.
"Well, I was thinking of showing you want kind of music I like and luckily I had bought two tickets for this concert. One was supposed to be for my brother but he declined the offer. He was actually the one who said that I should bring a girl to the concert rather than him."
"Thank you for choosing me. I'm so happy! When I saw the tickets I couldn't just believe it! This is a dream come true. Thank you so much." I stared at him.
"I'm glad that I was able to make you happy." The ride went on and we talked about a lot of things.
-
I was shaking when we got inside the arena. "This is unbelievable!" I said.
"Relax." He held my hand. "Enjoy the night. Scream of you want too." He smiled at me and I smiled back. I nodded to him.
I screamed really loud whe the band was on stage. "Oh my gosh! There they are!" I screamed. "Hunter, they're just there!" I looked at him. He was staring at me as he was smiling. "Gosh! This is so amazing!"
I screamed louder when they started playing. I sang to every lyric of the songs. I sometimes swayed my body to the rhythm.
"Hey! You're so stiff! Aren't you enjoying?!" I asked him in a loud voice.
"I'm enjoying!" He answered.
Umiling ako. "Hindi ganyan ang nag-eenjoy! Come on sing the lyrics, sway your body!" Kinulit ko siya ng kinulit hanggang sa ginawa niya. We were having the time of our lives. I've never felt this excited, this free, this surreal.
"This song gets me all the time..." I said. I closed my eyes and listened to the song. I bit my lip as I felt tears streaming down my face
Please don't be sad now, I really believe,
you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
"Cry baby." Hunter said as he wiped my tears away.
"This song is so sad...." I said.
"It's sad yet it's wonderful." I nodded in agreement to what he said.
The next song played. I smiled. "That's my favorite song!"
Oh, Florida, please be still tonight
Don't disturb this love of mine
Look how she's so serene
You've gotta help me out
And count the stars to form the lines
And find the words we'll sing in time
I wanna keep her dreaming
It's my one wish
I won't forget this
I looked at Hunter, our eyes met. I just kept on staring at him. I'm captivated again by his eyes. His eyes never fail to captivate my heart and soul. I just want to stare at them forever.
"Hunter." I uttered his name.
I'm outdated, overrated
Morning seems so far away
So I'll sing a melody
And hope to God she's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right
"You're so beautiful. Even at this dim lights your beauty still shines." He said.
I could melt at his stare, at his words. I just kept on staring at him. For some reason I wanted this moment to last.
If luck is on my side tonight
My clumsy tongue will make it right
And wrists that touch
It isn't much, but it's enough
To form imaginary lines
Forget your scars, we'll forget mine
The hours change so fast
Oh God, please make this last
I'm outdated, overrated
Morning seems so far away
I really hope that this would last. I love staring at his charcoal gray eyes. I love being captivated by his gaze. I really love it when he stares at me.
So I'll sing a melody
And hope to God she's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right
Could get it right
You could crush me
Please don't crush me
Cause baby I'm a dreamer for sure
And I won't let you down
I swear this time I mean it
We were staring at each other for a long time. We didn't take our eyes off from each other. His face went closer to me until we were an inch apart.
"I wouldn't say sorry for this." He said and his lips covered mine. I couldn't help but close my eyes. It was one soft sweet and gentle kiss.
He stared at me as he pulled away from me.
And I'll sing a melody
And hope to God she's listening
Sleeping softly while I sing
And I'll be your memories
Your lullaby for all the times
Hoping that my voice could get it right
-
"Hunter, washroom lang ako saglit. Hintayin mo na lang ako sa labas ng arena kunin mo na rin yung sasakyan para mabilis." Pagpapaalam ko saka ako dumeretso ng banyo.
Palabas na sana ako ng cubicle ng marinig ko ang pag-uusap ng dalawang babae.
"Ang swerte nung kasama ni Hunter. Shit isipin mo concert ang date nila! Never pa kayang nakipagdate ng ganito kabongga si Hunter. Sana talaga ako na lang ang napansin niya." Sabi ng isang babae.
"Nako! Sigurado nilandi niya lang si Hunter! Mukha naman siyang golddigger!" Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi ng isa pang babae.
"Sa bagay. Tignan mo naman yung outfit kanina. Kadiri, akala mo pupunta lang sa bangketa." Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa bag ko. Ang kakapal ng mga mukha ng mga ito para husgahan ako.
"Sinabi mo pa! Sana magising na si Hunter! Hindi naman sila bagay." Sabi pa nung isa. Nag marinig ko na wala na sila saka pa lang ako lumabas ng cubicle. Napapailing na naghugas ako ng kamay saka lumabas.
Nabigla ako ng may lalaking nakaharang sa tapat ng pinto ng washroom. "D-Dave?!" Nabigla kong tanong.
"Can you be my girlfriend for five minutes?" Nabigla at naguluhan ako sa tanong niya.
"H-Ha? A-Anong girl—" Naputol ang sasabihin ko ng bigla niya akong halikan sa labi. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Naestatwa ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Naramdaman ko ang paggalaw ng mga labi niya sa labi ko. Unti-unti kong ipinikit ang mga mata ko at sinubukang sumabay sa galaw ng mga labi niya. Naghahabol ako ng hininga ng ihiwalay niya sa akin ang mga labi niya.
Inakbayan niya ako at lumabas kami mula sa arena.
"Thank you." Sabi niya.
"W-Why did you do that?" I asked.
"May nilalayuan lang akong babae. Dikit ng dikit sa akin." Sagot niya naman.
"Ohh..." Sabi ko na lang.
Dave will always be Dave.
"But really, thank you. You're my life saver." Sabi niya. Napailing na lang ako.
"So, Haidee how have you been?" Tanong niya sa akin.
Napatingin ako sa kanya. "You freak! Sabi mo hindi mo ako natatandaan."
He chuckled. "Ang galing kong umarte no? Ikaw naman kasi hindi mo ako pinansin nung nakatingin ako sayo sa cafeteria."
"N-Nakatingin ka sa akin n-noon?" Tanong ko.
He nodded. "Oo. Kaso hindi ka man lang kumaway sa akin."
"Kakaway na kaya dapat ako noon, umiwas ka lang ng tingin. " Sabi ko naman.
"Huwag na nga nating pag-usapan 'yun. Wanna grab some coffee?"
"Nako! May kasama ako baka nga hinihintay na ako nun." Sabi ko naman.
"Come on! Minsan lang ako magyaya bilhan mo na rin siya para di ka maguilty na matatagalan ka ng kaunti." Sabi niya.
"Sige na nga. Basta saglit lang tayo ha?" He nodded. Nagpunta kami sa coffeeshop na malapit sa arena.
Nabigla ako ng hapitin niya ako sa may bewang. Hindi ako nakaimik. Tinignan ko lang siya. Para bang normal lang sa amin ang ganito. Sinubukan kong kumawala pero walang epekto mas hinapit niya lang ako lalo palapit sa kanya.
"I suddenly remembered that night..." Sabi niya. "How I met you." Napatingin ako sa kanya. Kasalukuyan kaming nakapila.
He smiled. "You look the same as that night. Beautiful, regal, stunning." Hinawi niya ang buhok na nakaharang sa mukha ko.
Napalayo kami sa isa't isa ng tanungin ang mga order namin. Binilhan ko na rin ng kape si Hunter mainam na 'tong may kape rin siya dahil magmamaneho pa siya.
Hawak kamay kaming naglalakad ni Dave pabalik sa may arena. Napagdesisyunan namin na habang pabalik sa arena ay doon na lang namin iinumin ang mga kape namin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kami ganito pero nangingibabaw sa akin ang hayaan siyang gawin ang mga bagay na ito sa akin.
"Haidee, I never got you out of mind." He told me. "I had always remembered our dance, the way you were so nervous, you and me in the car."
I gulped. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung seryoso siya. "Dave..." I felt him squeeze my hand lightly. The warmth of his touch spread throughout my whole system.
"Look at me." Ginawa ko ang gusto niya. His gaze dropped to my lips and without a warning his lips covered mine. "This time, I kissed you because I wanted to." Akmang magsasalita pa uli ng makarinig ako ng boses na tumatawag sa akin.
"D-Dave, sa susunod na lang ha? Hinahanap na ako ng kasama ko. Thank you sa coffee." Sabi ko saka nagmamadaling umalis. Sinundan ko ang pinanggagalingan ng boses.
"Hunter!" Nilapitan ko siya.
Nabigla ako ng yakapin niya ako. "Pinag-alala mo ako."
"Sorry..." Mahina kong sambit. "Bumili lang ako ng coffee." Inabot ko iyon sa kanya.
"Dapat nagsabi ka sa akin. Sa susunod magsabi ka ha?" Kinuha niya ang kape niya mula sa akin. Marahan akong tumango. Tahimik naming ininom ang mga kape namin.
"Tara na?" Tanong niya ng maubos na namin ang mga kape namin. Ngumit ako at tumango.
Pumasok na kami sa sasakyan at pinaandar niya na ito. "Kung nilalamig ka may jacket ako dyan sa paperbag. Suotin mo na lang." Sabi niya.
"Sige. Thank you."
Maya-maya ay nakaramdam ako ng antok. I yawned. I heard Hunter chuckled. "Uminom ka ng kape pero inaantok ka pa rin?"
"I don't know baliktad ata epekto ng kape sa akin." Sabi ko. Kinuha ko ang jacket saka ito isinuot. Itinabi ni Hunter ang sasakyan saka niya inaayos ang upuan ko.
"Sige matulog ka na muna. Gigisingin na lang kita kapag naiuwi na kita." Sabi niya.
Dala na siguro ng sobrang pagod ko kaya mabilis kong nakatulog. Nagising na lang ako ng marinig ko ang masuyong boses ni Hunter at ng maramdaman ko ang mahina niyang pagpisil sa kamay ko.
Nakamulatan ko ang mukha niyang nakangiti. "You still look beautiful even though you're sleeping." Sabi niya. Agad naman akong pinamulahan ng pisngi.
"Bolero ka talaga." Sabi ko na lang at umayos na ako ng pagkakaupo. "Thank you for tonight." Nakangiti kong sabi. "I really enjoyed it."
"You're welcome. I'd do that again just to see that gleam in your eyes again."
"Good night, Hunter." Akmang bababa na ako ng mas hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa kamay ko. Napatingin ako sa kanya.
"A-About t-the kiss..." Nahihiya niyang sambit.
Napailing ako. "Don't worry I won't tell you to forget the kiss." I smiled. "It was my first and it was amazing." I winked at him.
Nakita ko ang pagkabigla sa mukha niya. I took the chance to kiss his cheek. "Drive safely." Bumaba na ako ng sasakyan and I waved to him before I entered my unit.
Haidee, ang landi mo.
Sabi ko sa isip ko. Biglang pumasok sa isip ko si Dave at na-realize ko na hinalikan ako ng dalawang lalaki sa iisang gabi.
Ang landi mo nga, Haidee.
Napailing na lang ako. 'Yung kay Hunter totoo, yung kay Dave... Baka pinaglalaruan lang ako.
Good night, beautiful. Thank you for this night.
Napangiti ako sa mensahe ni Hunter. I can't believe he has this side and I know deep inside something is already forming. I guess it's time to forget my feelings for Dave and start giving this new feeling a chance.
-
Songs mentioned/used:
Terrible Things - Mayday Parade
I Swear This Time I Mean It - Mayday Parade