Chapter 8
You must be confused. I know I am. This mystery women decides to take over my story as if mine wasn't important enough. She thinks she can control how my narrative starts and end.
But I'm not just confused by that. Let's break it down from what has happened in the last month of my life.
The girl I had been obsessed with finally talks to me
Rachel wanted to be in a relationship and on a turn of a switch, likes our hook ups and doesn't want to be tied down. Not only that, she wants to help find out who this She is. Or sHe because Sarah was important enough to have an H.
But we now know Sarah is Becca and not Taylor who Rachel thought was.
Becca notices I had been interested in her and turns me down, claiming I'm only her bartender and the plot cannot change.
But we also know Becca is a fan of literature.
So why has this become so complicated? Maybe that I have put three names to this girl and turns out she's just Becca. Just Becca.
She's my bad girl fantasy but nothing more than that.
But the question I ask, who is Taylor that Rachel found on Facebook.
"Alright Brit, since you got all cynical on me, I will give you any answer to one question you have" she falls with her drunken steps, giggling to herself
"Why go home drunk?" I knew that's not the question I wanted to ask. But it was on my mind; and I didn't want to explain I was looking for her on Facebook and was trying to figure out her damn name.
"Well, funny you ask Brit"
"It's Harry" I correct, getting annoyed with her putting me in a box
"Alright Harry." She takes a swig from her flask, finishing off her last drop. "Whether I go home to the rents, or the boyfriend, I will get more shit for who I am because of who they are. I don't like to be sober by that."
I sit quiet, wanting to ask more questions like why are you dating him? Or how can your parents be that mean?
"People only hate others because of who they are and that they are not up to their standards. Have you ever thought about that br-Harry?" she walks around the room, digging for her smokes, "why do hate someone that isn't like you"
"Well I don't-" I stop be for I say anything else. I do judge people when they don't look how I look or act, on how how my mother raised me.
"You do, we're born to do it" she breathes in the air, letting the smoke release from her lips, "the boyfriend was raised like you Harry. Born to work hard and he has a few tattoos but cover them up when needed. Never smoked, hardly drinks which I find ironic since he owns a bar"
Her words strike me across the face, as a metaphoric slap for being as ignorant as I have been.
"So, since I smoke and drink and tattoos to express my art, the boyfriend has a tough time accepting who I am and who I won't turn into. To answer your next question, I date him because he is family friends and has tremendous amounts of money. I do love him, more or less the thought of him." She keeps stumbling around the room, looking at all my medical instruments, "he should be with my sister. They'd be a perfect fit, but she's goody two-shoes, she doesn't even like the thought of a man with tattoos and my mother always says opposites attract Rebecca, don't knock it until you marry it" she scoffs at her mothers voice.
I find it funny that she sits and spills her thoughts about her boyfriend, mother and sister when I only asked one question. I kind of like it though. I mean I still am confused if she means all of this or if she's just pulling my leg again.
"I probably can't drive" she admits after a few minutes of me being silent due to not knowing how to respond. "Can I stay here tonight?"
She gives me a soft, but very drunk smile. I chuckle at her, "yeah, you can stay here" I point at my bed, "I'll take the couch"
Her eyes slowly close, kind of like how a sloth closes its eyes to smile but it's super slow but endearing? Yeah, it was kind of like that. She smiles after her long blink, "thank you"
I get off my bed and close all of my books for her to lie down. She starts to take off her dress, my eyes can't turn away but my mind reminds me I need to. A back tattoo from her left ribcage to her neck shows when the dress is completely off. I realize she's not wearing a bra from the bare of her back and the very little underwear that sits delicately on her ass. I see all that but I can't take it in, keeping my eyes locked on the beautiful lines of the purple and pink flowers stretching her backside.
"Uh, do you-would you want some, like clothes?" I ask, taking my eyes away as she turns towards me. She has a boyfriend Harry. She has a boyfriend. But by god is she sexy.
"Does this make you uncomfortable?" She asks, chuckling to herself.
"Just a little since you have a boyfriend and I find you very attractive." I admit, keeping my gaze to the ground, "like very attractive."
"Thanks Brit" she slides into bed, "I'll take a shirt at least. So I don't get bare breasts on your plain sheets"
I chuckle at her, finding her dry humor actually entertaining. She's shown her humor to me here and there, but nothing like this ha ha type of humor to me.
She turns to me in my bed with the covers up over her chest. The white Rolling Stones shirt sits on my dresser that I toss over to her. Becca smiles at me and I take that as a hint to turn around; though I really don't think that's what she meant since her chest was just right there in front of me and she had no problem but, I turned anyway.
I hear her turn in the bed, showing I can turn back around. She is beautiful even in a shirt draping over her small frame. Her face is towards me smiling, putting her blonde and pink locks into a pony tail.
"Alright, uhm washrooms across the hall, you know our fridge if you get thirsty or anything." I rub the back of my neck, trying to think of things to make sure she's comfortable, "fans in the closet if you get got"
"Harry, I'm spending the night not moving in" she chuckles
"I'm just making sure you're comfortable" I smile at her and she slightly reciprocates. She lies down in my bed and reaches for my lamp. I grab my books off the nightstand and make my way out of the room.
"You're not going to stay?" Becca asks quietly, looking through me as I stand in the corner. "Or I should rephrase. Will you stay with me tonight?"
I nod, knowing she couldn't see me in the dark, I change my nod into a step forward into bed. She scoots over to let me in, allowing the blanket to sit over my shoulder. She turns towards me and we sit face to face joining the silence of the night. There's a smile on her face, from what I can tell; it's very dark in here.
"You have many tattoos." She comments and I chuckle
"Yeah?" I chuckle, "so do you"
She lets a breath out of her nose, showing a sign of a laugh. I can see the outlines of her body, her beautiful curves lying on my bed. The room is warm and our covers are slowly falling off us.
"Are you allowed to have tattoos as a doctor?" I feel her hand touch my arm, flirting with me, killing me slowly.
"Technically, no. They don't like that they can be shown in a short sleeve shirt. But, none are explicit so I agree with hospitals to only wear long sleeves around patients and when in surgery, I can wear short sleeves." I try to ignore the arm tracing what could be a tattoo on my arm but I'm not sure.
I'm aware she has a boyfriend but I can't help but feel something for a girl I don't know anything about. "But it's art and how I express myself, and my body so at the day and age, it's a lot more acceptable"
Her thumb sits around my arm, rubbing it back and forth. She gives me chills sitting here. "How come you tell me we're just bartender and drunk but you stay the night and have me lie here with you?" I finally ask
"I thought I only allowed one question Brit" she giggles, "I'll give you this one for free then." She sneezes in the most adorable way and I bless her before Becca continues. "Remember when I said it was a good beginning to a story?"
I nod and she feels it with her hand behind my neck, "well, if I start off mean, the more shocked you are when I'm nice. Making being me easier." She squeezes the back of my neck in a massaging way
I chuckle, "you are nice? Yeah right" she scoots closer to me.
"Yeah, maybe you're right" she sighs but lifts her head, placing her forehead on mine. "But I could be nice to you"
"Yeah?" I joke and she bobs her head, "how about you be nice to me when boyfriend isn't in the picture?"
"Oh Louis?" She lets out a quick laugh, "yeah, we've been cheating on each other for over two years"
Louis. As in the guy at the bar that was super happy to be in a relationship? As in Louis, the one that I became friends with over four whiskey on the rocks? I don't even bother to ask her these questions, because I know the answers. She was outside that bar for a reason and later claimed her boyfriend owned a bar.
I open my mouth to speak but as my eyes adjust, staring her blue eyes are dazzling in the dark. I want to give her a snarky comment about him probably not cheating on her and that she just wants me to hold her waist as we sleep through the night. But it could be an open relationship, he never said anything about being so in love with her, he was just happy to talk about her. I could believe Becca if I wanted to, and my boner is trying to overpower my mind.
She smiles in the darkness, I can feel it with our faces so close. I'm in agonizing pain thinking of the right thing to do and if these are just the words she claims as I lie in bed with her.
Knowing this isn't a good idea, I decide to back off. Reminding myself that if I were in a relationship, I would want my girl to be loyal to me.
"I promise Harry, he's seeing a girl right now, he fucks her every night. I even met her" she moves closer to me, grabbing my neck again, "I know it's fucked up, but my parents want us married in the long run. I know it's not easy to understand, but I don't go against my parents nor do I hate the fact that I'd end up with him. But as we grow up, we shouldn't be tied down to one person"
"Then why not just break it off?" I ask letting her rub her thumb against my neck again.
"Questions Brit." She gives me a smile, "fine." Becca continues, "like I said. Parents"
I nod, understanding that you don't go against her parents. But ironically, she has with her tattoos and piercings, but I can understand where her future is in consideration. Tattoos can be covered and hair can be dyed.
We sit silent, I know she's letting me think about this all; think about this relationship she's in, about how three days ago she wanted nothing to do with me. I guess it's her way of trying to be part of my narrative. She's different, but finally opened up to me.
Becca pulls me back, bringing our foreheads close again. She places a soft kiss on my nose, "I'm not asking you to take off my pants, I'm asking you to not be so blah towards me" she kisses my nose again "You're cute Harry"
It does bring me overboard, her telling me she is at least attracted to me. I won't sleep with her tonight, no I will not be disrespectful. But I will take this moment and use it to my advantage.
Her lips are placed on mine. I try to keep it slow but this is tough with how attractive she is. I force myself not to touch her anywhere but her face, yet she ignores my not wanting to move further. Becca lifts herself on top of me, holding my arms down on the bed and above my head.
I don't want to cross the thin line that is shown in front of me, but as she controls this situation, I find myself melting into her hands. When her shirt comes off I don't want to look, I don't want to appreciate but I do. I look and I apprentice the body in front of me. Inked soft skin sits on mine.
"Becca I can't" I pull away, only to stare at her chest with lines staining her skin. "I want to. I can't continue this."
I reach up to hold her sides but she pushes them down, hard. Becca is angry with me and I can tell but I can't lie to her. "Becca, I'm sorry. I can't"
"Yeah" she's short with me. I feel as she lifts off of me and grabs her shirt off the end of the bed.
"I just don't feel right. You're hot, and sexy and I want everything to do with you. But I like you Becca. I don't want to damage that by sleeping with you. Can I take you out? Something?"
Becca gets out of the bed, turning on my lights. It blinds me along with her body changing into her dress. "Becca, please. I would like to respect you for once"
"Because you haven't respected me before?" She half laughs
"Well, I have, from a far. And my friends haven't but I want to show you I like you. If your boyfriend is seeing someone why can't I see you. Let me take you out"
"I'm busy." She places her shoes on both feet
"So you can just come over and try to sleep with me but as soon as I try to respect you. you don't want it?" I get angry, but she exits my room, "Jesus Becca. Don't walk out of my room in a huff because you didn't get your way"
Again, I'm ignored by her and the door is open and shut before another word exits my house.
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