*two weeks later*
[so many time skips i know, but the story is more about john and the actual lams relationship - k i t]
Alex's hands trailed and tickled at my sides. We were sitting on my bed. Well, he was. My legs were wrapped around his waist, my arms around his shoulders. He leaned in for a kiss. Even though we'd kissed before, I wanted this kiss to mean something more. So I kissed him briefly and pulled back. I could tell by the tint in his eyes that he wanted more. Slowly, I leaned in to kiss him, my fingers tangling up in his hair, holding on.
"Don't let me go," I whispered.
"I won't," he replied.
I pulled back slowly, looking at him. I've never been this intimate with anybody before. I didn't want this to turn into something I'd regret. I didn't want him to not want me after this. "Promise?" I asked. He gave me a small smirk and pulled me back into another kiss, holding tighter onto my waist.
"I promise," he whispered against my mouth. I didn't want this moment to end. His hands started to slip under my shirt. At first it was okay, he just grazed my back. But as his lips moved down my neck, his hands started to moved up. I put my hands on his arm.
"Wait," I said softly.
Alex looked a little disappointed. He stared at me and cupped my cheek. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise," he said softly, giving me a brief kiss.
"It's not that." I pulled back and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Then what?"
"I don't... I don't want you to see," I admitted, looking away. He gently turned my face towards him.
"It's okay John." He gave me a reassuring kiss and kept his hands over my shirt.
I leaned into the kiss, wrapping one arm around his shoulders, my hand caught in his hair. My other hand was rest on his chest. His heart. I could feel the beat pick up under my palm. He pulled back just for a second, to take his shirt off and resumed kissing me. "I love you," he mumbled against my lip. I could feel the vibrations in my cheeks. His lips trailed down to my neck. He kissed and sucked for a while. I let my hands roam around his back and shoulders. He came back up and kissed me. He tightened his grasp on me. I pulled back again.
"What's the matter, babe?" he asked, obviously concerned. I took a deep breath before grabbing his hands and putting them on the edge of my shirt gently. "Are you sure?" I nodded. He smiled at me and slowly took my shirt off of me. The scars were still very visible and they were going to be for a very long time. He gently put his hand on them. "Can I kiss them?" I nodded again. He gently traced them with the tip of his finger and kissed, trailing up my chest to my neck to my lips. One of his hands were propped on my chest.
"I love you," I said.
"I love you." He started to lean back on the bed and I was hovering over him. I leaned down to kiss him. I let my hand stay on his chest, over his heart, my other arm was supporting me over him. "I love you so much," he whispered.
This sharing of 'I love you's felt so special. I could feel the butterflies fly faster every time his mouth opened. His voice rang in my ears and I could listen to him talk all day. His hands moved to my hips as he supported me over him. Every touch sent bubbles through my veins like champagne. His lips tasted like something sweet. Something you could never get enough of. And I know for a fact that I will never be able to.
There was this feeling that I could have never imagine myself feeling before I met Alex. My heart was racing. He was brushing strands of my hair out of my face, twirling one on his finger. I felt a surge of happiness. Of adrenaline. Never wanting the moment to end. My fingers intertwined with his, and he had a firm hand on my back, pushing me towards him.
I sat on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and knotting my fingers in his hair, kissing me. His body started to move, his hands trailing my waist, slowly turning so he could hover over me. "God, I love you," he whispered. I just moaned back in reply. He supported me back up as he leaned against the head of the bed frame. His hands moved up to my stomach.
His hands were warm against my stomach. Softly, he pushed back against me. I sat back, running a nervous hand through my hair. He gave me a smile, like he always does, and cupped my cheek before leaning in for another kiss. "I don't," he started, pulling back and brushing back my hair, "want this to go any further. Not yet. But I'm proud of you."
"Proud of me?" I asked, tracing the hairline on his arm.
He turned me to face him. "Yes. You took your shirt off. This is all a big step for you. I'm proud of you, babe," Alex said, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Do you want to go ahead and sleep? Because to be honest I'd much rather you sleep shirtless. You're so handsome," he flirted. I chuckled and rolled my eyes and his obvious attempt to flirt with me.
"Yeah okay. That's a good idea. But I'm putting a shirt on," I winked.
"Damn I was sure that was going to work."
I went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I towel dried my curly hair and tied it up, causing it to drop every so often cold water down my neck. I changed into a t-shirt and some sweatpants. Alex was sitting up in the bed, reading one of my books, wearing nothing but his boxers. I laughed a bit before climbing into bed next to him. I curled up into a little ball next to Alex, who wrapped a protective arm around my shoulder.
"Thank you for tonight," I said quietly, resting my head on his chest. "I've never been that intimate with anyone before." He smile and kissed the top of my head.
"You're welcome, babe. And... It looks like you're going to have a little memory of tonight for a while..." He pointed out. I was confused as to what he meant but then I remember what he'd done earlier. He handed me his phone and I opened the camera to see a big red spot on my neck. I blushed and handed him his phone back.
"Well... I'll enjoy explaining that to Laf," I chuckled. Alex laughed too, putting his phone and book on the nightstand next to the bed.
"Goodnight Johnny," he smiled, pressing another kiss to my temple.
"Goodnight Alex," I replied, "I love you."
"I love you too."