It's hurting again
And I don't know where to go.
I can't talk to him
Because I doubt he really cares.
I'm terrified it's all a joke
I'm scared it's for his fun.
I don't want to fall in case it's fake
But oops-too late to stop.
I can't stop it now
My heart beats faster.
And his blue eyes I'm lost in
I can't slow it down.
I want to feel the slicing skin
The dripping blood.
I don't know how to tell him
So I'm gonna write this out tonight.
I'll send it in hopes he'll understand
There's no more blades
But the wants and urges
I want to feel it again
I made a promise
And I can't back down.
But I can't stop myself
As I wish for just one more.
I don't know where to go
I don't know where to turn.
I'm lost within my mind
There's no sunshine in this night.
I'm taking pills
Hoping depression falls away
Screaming
Falling
Crying
Vanishing
Where do i turn?
How do I turn off my mind
I shut down my phone
Just to turn it back on
I'm sorry for being this way
But hope I'm afraid I've lost
And I can't gain my sense of feeling okay
I've lost meaning
Depression is something dark
Where happiness isn't a choice
It's a wish that never comes true.
I can't crawl out.
I feel like I'm in a hole six feet deep
Like my heart feels nothing
Theres emptiness inside
And the feeling of heartbreak runs down my cheeks.
I wish to be numb.
Theres panic setting in.
And I'm falling further through the dark
Disappearing and pushing everyone away.
Panic has set in and I'm numb again.