Beca rolled over in her bed and stared up at the ceiling. The chilly air whipped at her exposed shoulders and she cursed herself for not wearing something warmer to bed. The urge to curl back up under the blankets and sleep the frigid winter day away was strong but she was pulled further from the warmth of her bed by the ringing of her cellphone. If it wasn't for those first notes of "Titanium" she probably would have ignored it but that particular song let her know she wanted to talk to the person on the other end.
"Hey Chloe," Beca chirped into the receiver. It was abnormal for her early on a Sunday morning to be so chipper but she couldn't help it.
"Good morning love," Chloe said, matching her girlfriend's perky tone.
"To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you and it's Sunday."
"It is indeed Sunday," Beca replied, sighing heavily.
"Hey now," the red head chided, "none of that. Two minutes ago you were thrilled to hear from me."
"That was before you reminded me that it's Sunday which means it's another day that I don't get to see you. I know Sundays are important to you so the kids know you're still a family and I think that's great. I just don't get to see you a lot throughout the week you know and I didn't see you yesterday because you were at your parent's house. I miss you like crazy is all."
"I know babe, I know and I miss you too. I promise I'll see you soon though. Try to have a good day okay."
Before Beca could even say goodbye she heard the click and knew Chloe had already hung up. She had to resist the urge to throw the damn thing across the room. She hated to whine to Chloe because she understood that her girlfriend had a family and that they were more important, but it was frustrating nonetheless. During the week her kids stayed with her at the house so unless they met for a lunch date during the day or the kids had extracurricular activities Beca didn't see her. On Sundays Chloe insisted on having dinner at the house with the kids and Tom. It was important to her that her kids still had a sense of home of family despite their situation. This left only Saturdays for them to really see each other and it seemed like every other Saturday Chloe had other commitments. There were dinners with her family, work functions, tee ball games, dance lessons; the list seemed endless to Beca. It's not that it bothered her that Chloe had other things to do; just that she couldn't really be a part of them. Sometimes she just felt so separate from Chloe's life she wasn't sure they could ever work.
Before the brunette could take out her frustration on any of her possessions there was a knock at her door. Who the hell would be knocking this early, Beca groaned as she stood up. It was either someone trying to convert her or someone trying to sell something to her and she wasn't in the mood for either.
"What the heck do you want?" Beca started shouting before she even opened her front door.
Instead of being met with a stunned worshipper or salesman though Beca was staring into the loving eyes of her girlfriend. Chloe didn't look at all shocked by her girlfriend's ranting, in fact she was actually laughing.
"Were you expecting someone else?" Chloe teased.
It took Beca a second to register the situation but eventually she was able to speak.
"I thought you were spending the day with your family."
"I'll have dinner with them later. Now though, I want to spend the morning with my girlfriend. I even brought bagels and cream cheese."
"My favourite," Beca beamed.
After the shock finally wore off Beca stepped out of the door way and allowed the red head entrance. Her smile only widened when she received a sweet kiss on the cheek. It had been just over a week since she'd last seen her girlfriend but to Beca it seemed like forever. It was funny to her how they had gone almost ten years without seeing each other and things were fine but these days even 10 hours without Chloe was painful. It was the way Beca felt when she was around Chloe, so happy and alive. It was a way she hadn't felt in years and she was enjoying every second of it. The last 6 months with Chloe made her wonder how she had ever spent 6 years with Jesse. He never made her feel the way Chloe did, it was like she had been sleepwalking and now she was finally awake again.
"I don't understand. What do you mean you don't want kids?"
"I mean, I don't want to have kids. I thought that was pretty clear."
Beca was tired of having this conversation. It seemed like the only conversation they had been having for over a year. As soon as Jesse proposed he started talking about the future. He talked about the house they could buy, getting a pet, how many kids they should have and all the other details of their marriage and life together. Sure she had accepted his proposal and she was going to marry him but all the talk about the future she found tedious and uninteresting. Beca was happy with the house they lived in, she didn't want a pet and she certainly didn't want any kids; at least not in the near future.
"Why did you agree to marry me then?"
"What does that have to do with me not wanting to have kids?"
"Because that's what you do Beca, you get married and you start a family. That's what I wanted and I thought that's what you wanted too. I thought that's what you meant when you said yes. I thought we were on the same page Beca."
Beca could tell he was upset now because he was yelling and Jesse never yelled. It wasn't in his nature to get angry and loud but tonight she had set him off. Maybe he was fed up with having this conversation too but hey, he's the one who started it.
"Maybe we're not on the same page Jesse. Maybe we never were."
"Don't say that Beca. We're good together, you'll see."
"Yeah," Beca sighed. Their arguments always ended like this. Nothing resolved, and Jesse never wavering from his steadfast belief that the two of them were meant to be. It was just Beca who was left wondering what if they weren't.
Her house all of the sudden felt warmer with Chloe smiling at her from across the table. It was such a simple thing, just eating breakfast together but to Beca it just felt right. It was easy, smiling at Chloe in between bites of her bagel. They didn't even have to talk but things just got better when they did. Chloe relayed the details of her week without Beca. She had gone to a few meetings at work, boring but it meant there were exciting things to come for her. Adley had hit the baseball for the first time at his game this week. Alyson was learning to read and read her first story book all by herself. Beca loved the way Chloe's face lit up when she talked about her children. Chloe was generally perky and upbeat but talking about her children made her even more so. A year ago this would have made Beca scoff but now it made her smile right along with her girlfriend.
"How did Adrienne do on her math test?" Beca asked after she popped the last bite of her bagel in her mouth.
"Great, she got an A. She was really excited; she even said math is her new favourite subject."
Beca laughed lightly, "Well, I'm sure that will change once she gets passed addition and subtraction. I'm glad she did well though."
"Me too. Do you want some more coffee?"
"No, I'm good."
"What do you want to do now then? I've got a few hours before I need to go grocery shopping for dinner."
"I usually just curl up on the couch with a book on Sunday afternoons."
"Would you be opposed to curling up with a red head instead?"
"Not at all."
As Chloe settled into position on Beca's couch the brunette threw a large blanket over them. The cool draft had been lingering in the house all morning but Beca had been too excited to notice. It was only when she noticed her girlfriend visibly shivering that she remembered the weather outside. Chloe's arm felt as comfortable around her body as the soft cotton of the blanket that was now covering the pair. Beca let out a comfortable sigh as Chloe rested her head on her shoulder. As she looked out the window she remembered again why she loved this house so much. The view from her back window was gorgeous. It was nice and quiet and sitting there with Chloe just watching nature and letting the day pass, again, it felt right.
"Chloe, can we talk?"
The anxiety that coursed through Beca's body as she said it must have been evident to her girlfriend who immediately moved from their comfortable position. Chloe sat face to face with Beca placing her hands on the other woman's shoulders.
"Please tell me you're not about to run away from me again. I can't handle another ten years without you."
"Did it sound that ominous?" Beca asked, laughing. "I'm definitely not breaking up with you. I just want to talk, about us."
"Okay," Chloe breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's talk."
The red head moved back and rested her head on Beca's shoulder once more just waiting for her to continue their conversation. It wasn't like Beca to initiate a serious talk like this. Chloe knew she shouldn't have jumped to conclusions about what Beca wanted to talk about, but it was the first thing that ran through her mind when Beca asked to talk. Ten years ago she would have loved for Beca to initiate a conversation like this; today though when everything was going so well and Chloe was so sure about their relationship she was a little more wary. Beca said they weren't breaking up though, so this would be a good conversation, it had to be.
"As you know we've been together for over six months now and I just thought we should talk about some things. I know your marriage just ended and your divorce isn't even final yet so I'm not talking about anything huge like moving in together yet. But I thought we should talk about us. I love you and I think things are getting serious between us and for once in my life I'm actually excited about that. I just want to make sure we're on the same page you know."
"If you're asking if I'm serious about us and if you're it for me then yes. If you weren't asking that, well now you know. I love you Beca and I've been waiting for ten years for you to be on the same page. I'm not just fooling around here."
Chloe's response was met not with more words but with Beca's lips on her own. Suddenly the red head was enveloped in a deep, passionate kiss. If Chloe had known she would elicit this reaction out of Beca she would have told her sooner. The red head knew she often took for granted that people knew how she felt. Beca was the type who needed to hear it though. She would wait to hear it, but she needed to hear it. They had said the words before but this time it meant more.
"Mmm," Chloe verbalized her approval pulling away from her girlfriend only to get some air. "I should definitely tell you I love you more often."
"Somehow I think there's an ulterior motive behind that plan," Beca teased.
"No ulterior motive, I just love you. Okay and maybe I want to make out with you."
"Fair enough; I actually wasn't done though. Can I ask you something else?"
"Of course, shoot babe."
"Okay, well..." Beca was now stumbling over her words. This was the Beca that Chloe was used to. Not so sure of herself; awkward yet incredibly cute. "I thought maybe...and...err, you can tell me if this is out of line but I thought maybe I could meet your kids." Beca let out a sigh of relief when she finally got the words out.
It was something she had been thinking about for a while now. Chloe's kids were such a big part of her life; really they were her whole life. She and Beca talked about them and Beca had seen pictures and even video of them but she had never met them. When she and Chloe first got together Beca had no real desire to meet her kids. They were just kids and Beca wasn't interested in kids. When they had been together for a while though Beca became curious but she knew it was still too early. Now though with everything feeling so right between them Beca wanted to meet them. Now they weren't just kids, they were Chloe's kids. She wanted to meet the kids who meant everything and then some to her beloved girlfriend. She wanted to see all the reasons Chloe had to smile every day.
Chloe smiled wide. "You want to meet my children?"
It wasn't so much a question as an affirmation of Beca's words.
"I would love to meet your children. They're the most important people in your life. I just thought it would be nice to maybe get to know them."
Chloe thought out her words carefully before continuing the conversation. "I'll have to run it by Tom first of course to make sure he's okay with it but I would love for you to meet them too."
"Great," Beca said happily. "Just let me know, I'm ready to meet them whenever."
"Okay, I'll ask Tom over dinner tonight and then we can arrange something. Speaking of dinner though, I should get going. I hate to leave you but I promised Adley I'd make lasagna tonight and I still need a few ingredients."
Beca took Chloe by the hand and got up off the couch with her. "It's okay. I know that it's Sunday and Sunday is family day. I'm glad you came to see me though, especially since you brought bagels."
"Beca I know it must be frustrating for you to feel like maybe you don't really fit into my life but you do. I promise you I will always want you in my life and I will always make time for you, okay?"
"I know you will, and hopefully you will always bring bagels."
Chloe laughed and gave Beca one last hug and kiss before turning to leave. As the afternoon was drawing to a close she really did need to get going no matter how much she didn't want to leave her girl. Before she made it to the door though Chloe turned around and came back into the living room where the brunette still stood. Beca watched as Chloe rifled through her purse. Her keys were already in her hand and her cellphone was in her pocket, Beca couldn't imagine what she was looking for. Things became clearer though when Beca noticed the square in the red head's hand. She smiled as Chloe placed it face up on her coffee table and gave her another peck on the cheek.
"Goodnight love."
"Goodnight Chloe."
With that Chloe walked back towards the door and moments later she was gone.
Beca picked up the small square from the table and considered it for a moment. She smiled at the faces smiling back at her from the photograph. It was taken at the Atlanta Zoo. Beca remembered Chloe telling her all about her recent trip. Adrienne and Adley were obsessed with pandas and couldn't stop talking about them for weeks afterwards. Alyson was partial to penguins which Beca remembered because they were her favourites too. Chloe and her 3 children smiled brightly from the tiny square. Beca would get a frame for the photograph at some point but for now she tucked it away safely in her wallet. It meant a lot that Chloe had left it for her. Seven months ago she never could have imagined that she'd ever see Chloe Beale again, now though she was getting closer to Chloe than she had ever been and it felt good. Nothing said commitment to Beca more than her actually wanting to meet someone's kids.
Beca learned from the string of douchey boyfriends her mom brought home after her parent's divorce that introducing your kids to your new "special friend" shouldn't be taken lightly. After the third one Beca dreaded meeting the next guy. They were all so arrogant and rude and not one of them until her mother's current husband Bryan had paid any attention to her. Maybe if her own father had given a damn he would have stopped her mother from being so foolish and ignoring her emotions. The fact that Chloe's first thought was to ask Tom if he was okay with Beca meeting the kids told Beca just how much better they were handling their split than her own parents. She just hoped Tom would understand that her intentions were good and that if she was going to be in his children's lives she planned to be good to them.
Even more so she hoped that Chloe's kids would be receptive to her. She had never been great with kids but she planned to try. If Chloe's kids didn't like her though, what would happen to their relationship? They were great together, they were serious about being together long term but that could change in an instant if the kids didn't like her. That thought hadn't crossed Beca's mind when she asked Chloe about meeting them but the more she thought about it, the more nervous she became. Was it still too early? Would her kids think Beca was awful? Would they think she was trying to replace their dad? Beca's head was spinning and it wouldn't stop. Maybe Beca should have kept her mouth shut but it was too late now. She had already told Chole she wanted to meet them and by now Chloe was well on her way to talking to Tom about it. All she could do now was suck it up and try and make a good impression. Now, how do you make a good impression on an eight year old, six year old and four year old? Beca would definitely need more coffee for this one and maybe an Advil.