I woke up and I was totally on edge. I walked out of the bedroom and the house was dead silent. Not a creek. Rory stayed with me last night till I fell asleep. We were talking after I calmed down. But just like always, she said she couldn't tell me everything. But truth be told, Taylor was gone and I suspected a note or something, telling me to get out, or… anything. Then I remembered that he was taking Lulu back. But still…
Nothing.
Not a, ‘goodbye’ , not a ‘get the hell out’, not a ‘I’m sorry’…
Nothing.
And I loved Taylor with every being in my body. Everything I have, everything I ever had. But he dropped it, he let a four year old get in the way. When he was the one who offered. And I knew she wasn't helping our relationship... But to just drop it all?
I looked at the oven clock. 3:00pm flickered. Why was I sleeping in so late?I opened the freezer and grabbed a tub of Ben And Jerry’s smore ice cream, a massive spoon and spray whip cream. I set the stuff on the coffee table and ran upstairs to change into my green sweats and my gray lace V-neck tank from forever 21. I played Love Actually over and over again, filling my mouth with ice cream and whip cream.
Something that made me worry was about the Movie… Vday. They said they added a bunch of stuff… just for me. And, truth be told, I want to do the movie, my acting debut. But, how could I make out with someone who left me, when I was madly in love, when we both were.
As much as I wanted Julianne or Ashley or selena... Or even my mom to be with me, I didn’t call. I just turned off my phone, turned off the lights. I let myself downed in the movie. To be honest, I didn't even know where my phone was. But really, who cared?
There was a knock at the door. I looked at the clock, 8:27 flickered.
I ignored it and resumed my movie. Keira Knightly looked beautiful in her white sweater.
Another knock. And another… and another.
I rolled my eyes while I squirted whip cream in my mouth.
Another knock.
I swallowed as I paused the movie and stood up. I slid over to the door, unlocked it and opened it. Joe stood there. Looking hot as ever. Why was here... I didn't really care.
“Finally you answer the door.” He stood smiling ear to ear.
I rolled my eyes and turned away. “What do you want?” I huffed.
“Does this mean I can come in?”
“Do what you want, Joe.”
He walked in, surprised. I went to the kitchen and raided Taylor’s cupboards. “Want anything?”
He sat down. “What you got?” I swung open the fridge. “Beer?” He said spotting Tay's stash of cans.
I took out a can and tossed it to him. I took one out for myself as well and we both cracked them open. I shook it a bit and took a whiff. Usually the smell of beer made me want to barf, but now I was just about to chug it.
“I didn’t know you drink?” he chuckled. "You never used to."
I shrugged and took a guzzle.
He laughed. "Did you just guzzle beer?"
I did it again. "Yup."
"Miss Taylor Alison Swift drinks beer... Never thought I'd see the day." He took a sip, then I took a sip, and we both chugged our drinks.
The taste of bitterness filled my mouth and I immediately thought of Taylor. "Anything else?" I asked, hoping he would tell me the reason he came.
"Got anything else?"
I looked through the cupboards and spotted tequila. Jackson had brought it over one night when him and Ash came for dinner. Her sparkling ring and massive appetite came along for the ride too. It was almost full.
I put it down on the counter. He stood up, grabbed two shot glasses, just like this was his own house. He took my hand as I scooped the tequila and we sat on the couch. "Petty party?" He asked looking at the ice cream and what not.
I fake laughed. "No. Just two new friends, Ben and Jerry!"
"...Ok, that's not weird at all... I have a game."
I raised my eyebrow. "A drinking game I assume?"
He nodded his head. We fill our shot glasses and we say a statement about the other person. If its true, you drink, if its false, you don't."
"Simple enough!" I said pouring our glasses. I had tequila before, so I knew what it tasted like, but never shots. I knew this could end bad since I wasn't one to drink... But sometimes, you have to let ur hair down. "You go first."
"Ok..." He paused. "You wrote a song about our break up."
"That's not fair! You already know the answer!"
"A games, a game!"
I huffed and threw back the shot of tequila. "You never did forget me."
He didn't drink.
I raised an eyebrow. "No cheating!"
"I'm not! I actually did forget you! You heard what the doctor said!"
I rolled my eyes, "go!"
"You weren't surprised when I proposed."
"False. I never saw it coming. Your mom tried to get us back together."
"You know that's true!"
"A games, a game!" I said in my Joe like voice.
He laughed and took a drink. He filled both of the mini glasses. "You miss me."
"To an extent." I said then drinking. "You were gonna marry me just for sex."
He rolled his eyes. "Who do you think I am? A devil? ...You cheated on me before I proposed."
"You know that's false. You have a girlfriend now."
"Its not really a girlfriend, kinda more of a fling." He shot it. "You are in love with Taylor."
A tear almost instantly streamed down my face. I drank. "There's a place for me in your heart"
"No hesitation on this one." He drank as well. "You didn't come to our meeting cause you were scared."
"So so." I shot it. Each I had it felt overpowering and almost like I wasn't in control. "You regret hurting me all those years. "
He shot it then looked at me. "Tay, I am so sorry I did that to you! I should have never done it! It wasn't right. Its not right to put ur hands on a lady"
I swallowed hard. "Your turn."
"You forgive me."
"I can't forgive you for that... I want to, but I can't."
"Understandable."
"You wish we were together."
He drank it. "You wish we were still together."
I shot it.
"I thought you said you love Taylor?"
"I do..." I bit my lip. "But he left me." I closed my eyes. "When you proposed you meant it."
He drank. "When you said yes, you meant it."
I drank. "Forever and always?"
He drank as he came closer to me and we were both drunk. I felt like a little light headed but I was fine for the moment... I think. I knew that in the morning it would all be fuzzy. I laughed at almost everything he said, same with him to me.
"Do you still love me?" Joe asked.
I shot a glass of tequila. "Do you still love me?"
He moved in closer and his face was inches from mine and I swore I saw two of him. Dizzy, I was captivated in his eyes. He put the shot glass to his lips and slowly drank the tequila, all while his eyes still on me.
I was breathing heavy and swallowed hard. I could smell the tequila linger in my breath. Joe put his hand on my neck and pulled me in for a long, deep kiss.
I could fell his warm lips on mine. The bittersweet of tequila on his tounge moved from his to mine. I could feel my head spinning and my heart beating faster than ever. Joe started basically climbing on me. Ii giggled and quickly turned our fun little game into a full blown make out session from seven minutes in heaven, except... No closet. Neither of us knew or cared where the left over dribbles of tequila or shot glasses were.
He started kissing my neck, and I squealed cause it tickled. That made him laughs. He stopped long enough to laugh then kissed my lips, moving back down to my chest. "Oh my god!" I exhaled with delight. I wrapped my arms around his neck. While continuing to kiss me, he wrapped my legs around his waist. He made his way to the stairs, still carrying me. But I was guilty as charged...
I wasn't about to stop him.
I pulled away from joe, just for a moment. "First door on the left." Then I resumed and started kissing his neck. Starting to bring blood to the surface, giving him a hickey.
He pushed open the door with his foot. We made our way to the bed and put me down. He unbuttoned his black and blue plaid shirt. I pulled off my tank top and threw it somewhere ihe started kissing me again, both sprawled on each other on the bed. Joe un zipped his jeans and I pulled down my oh so unattractive green sweats.
I was fully drunk, ill admit it. I wasn't going to hide it... Cause I knew... I was drunk. And I was about to lose myself to my ex... Possibly my future. But I just pushed the future aside. I tried to live in the moment. Joe had a talent that made me love him. I don't know how he does it, but he does. He makes it so you can't say no. He makes it impossible. By now you would think I would be used to this games and get it through my head that what he was doing wasn't normal. But I... I couldn't.
Joe held me close, kissing my neck. He my purple bra and slid it up and off my arms. He flipped me on top of him...
And there went the rust of our undergarmets.
I opened my eyes and immediately got a migraine. I stretched and squinted at the sun light coming through from the blinds. The whole night was now blurry. And just like I should've known... Joe was nowhere in sight. I huffed and nothing had really hit me yet. I turned to the side table to look at the time and I saw a new bottle of tequila with a note attached and the ring Tay gave me beside it. I had 'lost' it last night. How he found it I wasn't sure.
'Hope this is the right kind.'
I slipped on the ring and got out of bed and slipped on a pair of underwear and one of Taylor's big sweatshirts. I did my normal routine. Make the bed, clean up then go to the bathroom to get ready.
I walked into the master bathroom and almost fell to the ground when I looked in the mirror. My neck had several blood spots. I started to count the hickeys all along my neck. One, two, three, four, five, and six... Six hickeys. They were puffy and sore. And that's when it hit me. That's when it it me hard. What I did last night... What I shouldn't have done. I looked at myself in the mirror, disgusted. Disgusted with what I did... With myself... With Joe. I ran to the bed and threw myself down, screaming into my pillow. Every place that joe kissed, every place that he touched I scratched and I itched until it was red and I could feel the sting. Feel the blood rise to surface.