Chapter 41
"Alys, alam ko minsan baliw ka but this?!"
Kanina pa ako sinesermunan ni Aya. Three days na din simula ng tumira kami ni Fier sa iisang bahay. The idea was crazy... but I was way more crazy. Never once in my life did I consider doing something like this. This idea was sorcery. It was unimaginable yet somehow I still did it.
I sat down and tried to calm myself. Fier wasn't trying to help either, she was being bitchy and all to me...
"Tama na, okay?" I said to her. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Hindi na rin ako makatulog sa gabi. Nights were stressful the most. Kailangan ko na yatang pumunta sa OB. Normal ba yung inaarte ni Fier? She was acting like a lunatic... Alam ko naman na buntis siya but how she's acting was just too much. She's pregnant and not a psycho.
Aya sat down and placed her hands on her chin.
"Okay, mag usap tayo ng matino, ha?" she said and I nodded. "Alys, why the hell?! Oo kasal kayo ni Drake pero paano mo nagagawang pumayag tumira sa iisang bahay kasama ang—forgive my term— kabit?!"
I sighed. Ayoko talagang naririnig na kabit si Fier... Nasasaktan ako para sa kanya, para sa akin. She's just a victim like anyone else. Kahit kasi anong pilit ko sa sarili kong magalit sa kanya, naaalala ko pa rin yung fact na buntis siya sa anak ni Drake. Ang that fact alone was enough to pacify my heart.
Masakit masabihan ng kabit. It wasn't her fault that Drake's not going to marry her. It wasn't Drake's fault, as well. It was no one's fault. Siguro biktima lang kami ng tadhana. Our timing was screwed up.
"'Wag ka namang magalit kay Drake, Aya. He offered na dun na lang kami sa unit niya but I declined," I answered truthfully.
She knocked the glass down sa pagkabigla. "'Yun naman pala e! Goodness gracious, Alys Zyril! Bakit ba pinagsisiksikan mo yung sarili mo sa bahay na yun e may choice ka naman pala?!"
Hindi ako makapagsalita kasi guilty ako. Bakit nga ba ako sumisiksik? Hindi ko alam... Siguro dahil ayoko din mahirapan si Drake. Ayokong dumating sa point na papipiliin ko siya. I love him enough to spare him from that pain. Alam ko na ilang beses ko ng nasaktan si Drake. Even though he never talked about it, alam ko na sobra ko siyang nasaktan. The years apart broke him. Ayoko ng maulit yun. Tama na yung four years na naghirap kami.
Kahit ano pa ang sabihin nila, anak ni Drake 'yun. Mahal ko yung bata dahil anak siya ni Drake.
"Please, 'wag na nating pag usapan, okay? Nagpunta ako dito para magrelax, 'di para pagalitan mo," I said to her.
Walang nagawa si Aya kung hindi ang magbuntong hininga. Kumain lang kami sandali tapos kailangan niya na ding bumalik sa shop. Hindi pa rin sila okay ni Kent. Hindi ko maintindihan si Aya, obvious naman na mahal niya pa pero ayaw niya patawarin. Kung magulo kami, mas magulo sila.
Bumili muna ako ng prutas para kay Fier. Minsan iniisip ko kung bakit ako ganito. Siguro kung ibang babae ako, nagwala na ako at pinagsasampal ko si Drake.
Pagdating ko sa bahay, wala pa si Drake. Siguro nasa trabaho pa siya? Kami lang ni Fier ang tao dito. Si Tito Steve nasa trabaho din, si Ethos naman nag aaral pa.
"Kumain ka na?" I asked her.
She nodded and returned her attention to the glossy mag she was reading.
Naupo ako sa tabi niya. "May dala akong fruits..."
Dahan dahan niyang ibinaba yung magazine at tumingin sa akin. She gave out a heavy sigh. "What game are we playing, Alys?"
"Ha?"
Umayos siya ng upo at humarap sa akin. "Quit this being nice act, okay? Alam kong galit ka sa akin. Be bitchy or whatever, I don't care. Just quit acting like you care."
Bakit ba siya ganito? Oo hindi ko siya gusto pero hindi naman ako ganung klase ng tao na aawayin siya. She's pregnant. She should be taken care of.
"Fier—"
"Drop it, Alys. You don't care. Deep inside, gusto mo mawala na lang kami ng anak ko, 'di ba?"
"Fier naman."
Tumayo siya at humarap sa akin.
Naiinggit ako. Gusto ko ding maranasan na maging ina. Siguro masaya yun kasi masarap magkaron ng anak. But not now. Masyado pang magulo yung buhay namin. Gusto kong bumuo kami ng pamilya kapag maayos na yung lahat. Kapag ang tangi na lang naming problema ay kung ano ang ipapangalan namin sa anak namin...
"Stop it, Alys. We both know how this is going to end," she paused for a while. "One of us has to go." She stared at me. "You're married to him and we're having a child. Can't you see how crazy our situation is?" she said and then forced a laugh. "This baby," sabi niya at saka niya itinuro yung tyan niya. "This baby will be labeled a bastard, Alys. A bastard."
She was speaking when suddenly, she clutched her hand on her tummy. "A-aray."
"Fier!" sabi ko sabay punta sa tabi niya. "Oh, my god, anong nararamdaman mo?"
Oh, no, kumalma ka, Alys. Hindi ka pwedeng magpanic.
"Ugh bitiwan mo ako!" sabi niya sa akin sabay alis ng kamay. Nagulat ako. Ganito ba siya kagalit sa akin na kahit nahihirapan na siya, ayaw niya pa ring tanggapin yung tulong ko?
Napahawak siya sa upuan at saka huminga ng malalim. Gusto ko siyang tulungan pero tinutulak niya naman ako palayo.
"What's happening?"
Sabay kami ni Fier napatingin sa nagsalita. It was Drake. He was looking at us and asking what the hell was happening. I had no idea. I was willing to help but she was pushing me all too willingly.
Hindi naman ako nakikipagkumpitensya sa kanya... She's pregnant. I would give way kung makikiusap lang siya ng maayos.
Lumapit sa akin si Drake and asked me. "What's happening?"
"I-I don't know."
"Please, Drake, pakisabihan mo nga yang asawa mo na hindi ako nandito para maging best friend niya. Stop trying to be my friend. 'Di ko kailangan," she said with spite.
She was limping because of pain habang naglalakad siya pataas. Ako? I was there standing, hindi alam ang gagawin.
I faced Drake with a torn apart face.
"Drake... I'm sorry... Hindi ko naman alam na makakasama yung pagkausap ko sa kanya," I said. Kung alam ko lang na makakasama sa baby yun, sana hindi ko na lang siya kinausap. I meant good. Hindi ko alam na masama pala yung ginagawa ko.
Drake sighed and held me by the shoulders. "It wasn't your fault," he said and then kissed my forehead. "Did you eat already?"
I nodded.
"Alright," he said. "I'll just talk to Fier. Wait for me here," he continued and then left me there.
While waiting, iniisip ko kung tama ba si Aya. Maling desisyon ba na tumira ako dito? Siguro nga tama siya, mas masama kaysa mabuti na tumira ako dito.
"Oh, Alys," Tito Steve said nung dumating siya. Kasama niya din si Ethos pero hindi man lang ako pinansin ni Ethos at dumiretso siya sa taas. Kasama niya din ang mommy niya.
"Hi po," I said. Hindi pa din ako comfortable na tawagin siyang Daddy. Siguro saka na kapag okay na ang lahat.
"Bakit ka nandito? Wala pa ba si Drake?" he asked habang naupo siya sa upuan sa harap ko.
I smiled at him. "Nasa taas po, kausap si Fier."
Napatango na lang siya. Alam niya na siguro. Alam kong weird din para kay Tito Steve ang setup namin. Aaminin ko, muntik ng atakihin sa puso ang mommy ko nung malaman niyang ganito ang nangyayari. It took me all my will power para pigilan siyang kausapin si Fier. Knowing Fier, alam ko magkakasagutan lang sila.
"Alys," Tito Steve said. "Ako kasi ang nahihirapan sa inyong tatlo."
"Nahihirapan din ako, Tito."
Napapikit sandali si Tito Steve.
"Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko," he said. "Gusto kita para kay Drake, at kasal ka na naman na sa kanya kaya wala na akong magagawa. Pero si Fier... Hindi ko naman pwedeng paalisin yun dahil dinadala niya yung apo ko," he continued.
"Tito Steve..."
He looked at me and smiled. "Wala to, Alys. Naguguluhan lang talaga ako. Sige, aakyat na ako."
Just then, it hit me. Siguro nga dapat na akong umalis.
Minutes later, bumaba si Drake. His right cheek was red. She slapped him. Again.
Sa ilang linggong pagtira ko dito, ilang beses ko ng nakitang sampalin ni Fier si Drake. Apat? Lima? Hindi ko na maalala. Nasasaktan ako para kay Drake pero hindi ko makuhang sigawan o saktan si Fier. She's pregnant, yan ang lagi kong pinapaalala sa sarili ko.
"Drake?" I called out his name. He looked at me and then I touched his swollen cheek. Lumapit ako and I kissed his cheek. "Does it hurt?"
He shook his head. Liar.
I smiled at him. "I have a solution, Drake."
He looked at me. "Please don't tell me you're leaving again."
"I'm not leaving, Drake. Makikita mo pa rin naman ako. Hindi nga lang ako dito titira."
"You're leaving, then," he said.
"Dummy, I'm married to you. How far do you think I would go?"
He held my hand and placed it on top of his heart.
"One inch is already far enough for me to miss you. If I could, I'd carry you around with me. You bewitched me to the point that I'd go crazy if you dump me once again," he said.
Napangiti ako. Pero seryoso, minsan dadalhin ko si Drake sa psychiatrist. Masyado yata siyang naapektuhan sa breakup namin dati.
"Drake, my decision is final, aalis muna ako. No, hindi kita tatakbuhan, okay? Nahihirapan lang ako na ikaw yung napagbubuntungan ng galit ni Fier dahil sa akin. I will always be a call away," I said, trying to make him understand.
I smiled at him one last time at saka tumalikod. Aalis na sana ako ng hawakan niya yung kamay ko.
"You're not running away?"
I shook my head.
"Never, Drake. To the moon and back, remember?"
He smiled.
"Yeah. To the moon and back." Nagsimula na akong maglakad when he called out my name. "Alys?" he said. I looked at him. "I love you."