I dedicate this chapter to victoriamars and gvldennn_!! I can't thank y'all enough for being loyal readers and voters of this story! It means so much to me! 😩😭😍❤💖🙌🏾
Jubilee
"I just never saw this coming, Mom. I thought Jubilee and I were so close. It hurts me so much that she was abused by Trenton, but it hurts just as much that she wouldn't feel like she could confide in me about this for such a long time," Jordan lamented.
"And what about this psycho, Trenton Davis?! How in God's name has he flown under the radar for so long?! I want to tear him limb from limb for what he did to Jubilee!" Jade exclaimed.
"Do you think Dad is going to have to suffer consequences for what happened almost a decade ago, Mom? I keep hearing him on the phone with different people from Texas...and, why did he punch Blake?" Julius asked.
"Speaking of Blake, what's our stance on him? I mean, to witness Jubilee realizing she'd been lied to all these years just added too much insult to injury. I thought they were supposed to be best friends! Plus, why agree to keep quiet if you were just going to go beat the dude up? He could've just come to one of us and made sure it was handled. Clearly Jubilee was too emotionally impacted by the situation and couldn't make a rational decision..." Jacqueline mulled over as she thought out loud.
"Well, I just wanna know if Jubilee is going to be okay, Mom. She's been asleep almost the entire time we've been here. There's nothing serious wrong with her, right?" Justice questioned.
The voices of my siblings as they badgered our mother about the open book that is my life right now not only woke me up out of the deep, satisfying sleep I was having, but was also difficult to hear. Instead of immediately opening my eyes I decided to listen in on how my siblings were truly feeling about the skeletons in my...well, I guess, out of my, closet.
After listening to each of my five siblings make comments about my annoyingly complicated circumstances, I knew I wouldn't be able to face them and add more confusion to everything by admitting that I was pregnant. But I also was done keeping things from my family. Clearly, lying wasn't productive.
I was just going to tell my mom. I listened for her voice this whole time, but she never said anything. She just let my siblings vent. She was the glue holding the Carlisles together at the moment, and that's what let me know that I'd be able to tell her about me and Blake's child that was on the way.
There was just so much to process with Blake, our child, my dad, and Trenton, and I was so overwhelmed; however, all that kept blinking in my mind, like a Broadway marquee, were the words of Dr. Jennings... "You should be eating for two."
I had to tell my mom before I lost my nerve.
"Thanks for actually caring about my wellbeing, Justice, you can stay in my room," I sarcastically joked with my froggy voice of sleep, slowly shifting upwards in the bed as I opened my eyes and readjusted to my surroundings.
"Jubilee, you're awake! You've been listening this whole time?" Justice asked with a pleased smirk and look of relief on his face.
I laughed and accepted the water Jordan brought me, "Well, it's hard not to listen to all twelve of y'all speaking so quickly and all at the same time basically. Our poor mother."
"Say that again, Jubilee! How are you feeling, baby?" my mom asked, giving me her warm smile that made me feel like everything is going to be alright, "Did the doctor tell you what was going on?"
"Yes ma'am, I'm just dehydrated, so they have me hooked up to this IV, and I was supposed to eat a meal that the nurse brought me, but I just ended up falling asleep again," I explained.
"Well, let me go tell DJ and Taylor and Marieka what's up, so they're not worried," Jordan announced, standing up and heading to the door.
My heart skipped a beat, thinking about the fact that they had all come, obviously for Blake, but also for me. I had created such great bonds with them over the years through Blake. Just more people that Blake and I have affected with our choices...
"Oh wow, they came! Tell them they can come in at any time! After they've visited with Blake, of course. How is Blake anyway?" I asked before I could catch myself.
"Um, as good as can be expected. He's got a black eye and pretty swollen face as well as a severe concussion due to the impact of his head on the concrete driveway after your father..." my mom's voice trailed off as she was describing his injuries that were caused by my father.
All my siblings looked back and forth between each other, me, and Mom. Looks of sadness, anger, and disappointment were all I could see, and it just made my heart sink in my chest.
"Punched him. Yea, haven't forgotten that yet," I smartly filled in the blanks of my mom's explanation.
She sighed, "Let me speak to your sister alone, everyone. And someone go tell your father that Jubilee is just dehydrated, and he should put that phone down and come see her."
"Yes, ma'am," they all mumbled, grumbling things under their breath about always having to leave the room.
"Blake won't stop asking for you, by the way. He goes in and out of sleep, and every time he wakes up, he asks for you. You should probably go see him soon," Justice added before he walked out the door.
Since when had my twin brothers gotten so mature and socially intelligent? Or was it that they are too young to understand the implications of the situation I was in and just cared about me and Blake no matter what had happened in the past or present? Maybe we could all tear a page out of their book...
"Jubilee, your father ju—,"
"Mom, I can't talk about him right now. I have something more important to tell you," I stated, feeling bad for interrupting her but needing to get this out now before I chickened out.
I saw the concern in her eyes quickly shift to fear and then calm when I interrupted, causing me to inwardly smile and heave a sigh of relief. As much pressure as I'd felt from just being a Carlisle, I'd always idolized my mom. I wanted to be her because she always seemed to know who we needed her to be at any given moment. Sometimes she was the disciplinarian, sometimes she was the caregiver, and sometimes she was our best friend, but she had always been there for us no matter what, and I wanted to kick myself for not just telling her about Trenton back in college. All of this could've been avoided.
"Mom, I'm pregnant," I whispered, my eyes slowly meeting hers after I rushed into my confession.
She stayed silent, and her facial expression barely shifted. Her eyes widened for a split second, and I twiddled my thumbs in angst, waiting for her response. My confidence in being able to face what my life had so quickly become felt like it was all tied up in my mom's response to this news that I was still processing myself.
"Please, say something, Mom," I pleaded after about a minute.
She grabbed my hand and squeezed, letting one tear slip out and down her cheek. But then, she smiled.
"I'm gonna be a grandma?!" she asked in excitement as a smile lit up her face.
I exhaled with a chuckle and shook my head yes after holding my breath in anticipation of what my lifeline would say.
"My baby, Jubilee. You've grown up so fast," she whispered, her eyes glistening with slight sadness, but also pride.
My chuckling turned into a river of tears when it really hit me that I had her support. Her first response was not to overwhelm me with questions. Not to judge me for having a child out of wedlock or scold me about how this would further reflect on our family' s name and reputation. She was being more understanding and loving than I had even been towards myself.
"Mom," I gasped, my chest heaving up and down as the tears continued to flow, "Why didn't I come to you before?"
She climbed up in my bed with me and wrapped her arms around me. I rested my head on her chest and just let all the tears come.
"Jubilee Ameerah, don't beat yourself up, honey. You were young, and you still are. For so long you've been trying to be grown before your time. Trying to be perfect and subscribe to some invisible expectations of what we want for you as your parents. And I know your dad doesn't always make it clear that he cares more about you and your quality of life than what you achieve, but he does. We love you, and we sacrificed, and worked hard, so that we can help you become far more and have a far larger impact than we ever could," my mom explained, comforting me.
I shook my head in agreement, listening as my mother described who I'd been trying to be for the past few years. I'd sauntered off to California, believing that I had everything figured out, and that my family would never have to know about what I experienced in California. I had chosen. Chosen to push down the disappointment. The hurt. The frustration. The abuse. Chosen to think I could make the bad from my past go away by getting lost in the good from my present.
"There are definitely some things I think you could've done differently, but it is clear that you have always followed your father and I's teachings of doing what you believe is right. So, I might not agree with all of your decisions, but I know your heart, and you only did those things because you wanted to do what you thought was best. Now it's time to do the learning from your past choices. Because now, we've got another life involved who will also be directly affected by everything you do. And this all starts with your relationship with Blake."
I sighed in fatigue. The exhaustion creeping back in just thinking about what Blake and I had to work through.
"I know, it's a lot, beautiful daughter. But I know I didn't raise anything but a fighter. So, let's get you healthy first. That's what you and my grandchild need. It's 2am, so you need to go back to sleep. You know Jordan wants to stay, and I think Julius and Justice want to stay as well. They've been fighting over it all night with your sisters, so your room is full. The rest of us will be back in a few hours after we've had some sleep," my mom explained.
I smiled in surprise. Comforted by the fact that although everything wasn't smooth sailing with all that I had going on, my siblings still had my back and wanted to be here for me.
"Remember, I love you, Jubilee. In time, everything will be alright."
I smiled at my mom and laid back on my pillows in contentment, "I love you, too, Mom!"
I heard the door close, and then I let my eyes drift closed slowly, imagining my belly growing during my pregnancy, and Blake being there with me every step of the way. As angry and disappointed as I was in him for lying, I still loved him, and I couldn't imagine doing life with anyone else. At this point, I just didn't know if I could trust him. And that feeling began to eat away at me, so soon after my mom had made me feel so much better about everything. If he lied about this, were there other things he'd lied about? I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear the door open again, but I did hear the shuffle of unsure and very slow steps.
"Jubilee? Baby? Are you awake?"
My entire body froze when I heard Blake's voice. So many questions were running through my mind. Did he really walk here with a concussion?! What was I going to say to him? How do I even feel about our relationship? Should I tell him about the baby?
"Blake! I'm so happy you're okay! Why on earth are you up out of your bed though?! You could hurt yourself, and I know you can barely see!"
"I've got one perfectly good eye, Ju, I'm fine. I kept asking for you, but no one would tell me when I could see you," Blake answered, shuffling laboriously over to my bed, "Scoot over."
"Blake..." I began to say hesitantly.
"Ameerah. Please scoot over. I'm dizzy," he pleaded.
I sighed and followed his order. I didn't exactly want us all cuddled up like everything was ok between us, but his wellbeing was still important to me. He threw his body weight onto the bed as if it took everything in him to stay upright as long as he did. I made sure to fluff the pillows he laid on and pull the cover over his entire body.
"Here, drink this," I ordered, giving him my water.
"Thank you," he whispered.
While he drank I had the chance to look him over, and if I were being honest, I just wanted to burst into tears all over again. Just as my mom said, the entire left side of his face was swollen, and his eye was red and puffy. I instinctually raised my right hand to rest it on that side of his face gingerly.
"Baby," I whispered, trying to hold my tears back, "I'm so sorry."
Blake let his head rest in my palm, "Don't apologize, Jubilee. It's not your fault. Don't cry, baby."
But I couldn't help it. I absolutely hated this. Blake pulled me into his arms, and within no more than a half hour from when I cried for the first time on my mother's chest, I cried again on Blake's. This could be my hormones, or it could just be that the situation that I found myself in couldn't be more terrible. Hell it was probably both. I felt bad that Blake was comforting me when he was the one in the most physical pain, but I just felt so guilty about what my dad did to him, causing the tears to just spill over.
I sat up and wiped my eyes after a couple minutes of Blake rubbing my back and continuing to tell me that we were going to be okay, "I shouldn't be doing this when you're the one who is so hurt."
"Never say that, Jubilee. You're my girl. Whatever I can do to make you feel better, I'll do it," he whispered, "We're going to get through this."
"Blake what are w—" I began to ask, ready to get some questions answered.
"Tomorrow, baby, we'll talk. But we need to sleep right now. I just needed to hold you in my arms," Blake whispered, his eyes already closed, "We haven't slept in different beds in weeks, and I didn't want to start tonight just because of everything that's going on."
I felt a sense of warmth come over me at hearing Blake say he didn't want to sleep separately from me. Amongst all the negatives, this was a small positive that I was going to hold on to just for tonight. And so, I cuddled up beside Blake in my normal position just like we were at home in his bed. Grateful for a small sense of normalcy during a time of great upheaval.
******************
Jubilee told her mom about the baby, but didn't tell Blake! Do y'all think she will tell him soon? And how do y'all think Blake will respond to finding out they're having a child?
As always, thank you to those who have been reading, commenting, and voting! I always look forward to how y'all feel about what's happening in the story! Hope you're still enjoying! 😁☺️❤💖
P.S. Happy birthday to B(ae)lake! He turned 28 on Thursday! 😩😭😍🙌🏾 And he nor DJ traveled for the game against the Nuggets...guess he took the day off for his birthday turn up? 😏🤔🐸☕️