A/n- "To write means more than putting pretty words on a page; the act of writing is to share a piece of your soul with the world."
Mackenzie sat with her head in her hands crying slowly, painfully, pouring her heart out through her tears. She never seemed to be able to stop. They rolled from her face, falling into her lap, soaking through the jeans she had been wearing for the past three days.
"This is torture," she had thought, craning her neck up enough so that she could see Niall asleep in the hospital bed. The room was chilled and she shivered in the short sleeve shirt she had been wearing. Though he was asleep, she still felt the urge to talk to him, kiss him, hold him until he was better again.
Mackenzie let out a small sigh, putting her head back in her lap, her messy bun sliding forward on her head, her unruly hair tangled.
The cold room, white walls, and overall intimidating hospital was too much for her, making her shake her head in exasperation as she felt the walls closing in.
The room was different than that of one she had ever been in before, intimidating, yet....not. The stark white walls were one thing, but the curly wallpaper running through the middle was different. It looked Indian to her and...strange, the way it looped around its self.
The room was strangely empty but yet full at the same time, a couch to the left, and a bathroom to the right. Mackenzie still sat on the cold, tile floor.
She was startled from her thoughts when the door creaked open, as if it was tired of opening and would fall from the hinges at any time.
"Kenz?" Someone whispered. Mackenzie looked up with red rimmed eyes and a tear glazed glance to see Harry poking his head through the door.
"Hmmm?" She uttered, her eyes tired and a headache growing behind her eyes.
"Someone's here to see you....." he trailed, looking down at her. The sadness grew in his heart from seeing her like this, practically his little sister, the two had grown so much closer this past year. The stress of his girlfriend being asleep and his best friend dying was getting to him, and seeing her like this made him crack just a bit more.
"H....who?" Her voice broke as she played with the threads on her jeans.
"Just come here and see." He replied quietly, letting a small smile come to his pale lips.
Harry helped her up, practically having to drag her away from Niall and out into the hallway. His shoes squeaked on the white tiles beneath their feet as he led her to the waiting room.
She stopped short when she saw Maura, Greg, and Bobby standing in the dimly lit room I front of her. Maura was the first to reach her and engulfed her in the tightest hug you could imagine, squeezing the life out of her.
"Oh my gosh." Mackenzie mumbled into her shoulder, hugging back tightly, and enjoying the motherly love radiating off the older woman.
Since they had met, Maura and Mackenzie had gotten closer, and Mackenzie thought of her as her mother now, as her other one wasn't exactly the mother type.
"How'd you......how....?" Mackenzie stammered, pulling back to hug Greg, and then Bobby. Maura wiped her tears and smiles as the brown haired, curly boy steps out from behind her.
"Bradley. Oh my god." Mackenzie mumbled as she hugged him tightly. He lifted her off the ground with a smile, although his heart broke at her exchange with Maura. Sure, he had seen her break down, and she had told him about....the horrible things that she had done to herself, but he knew she was on the edge now. When she doesn't even try to hide it anymore, that's when it turns for the worst.
He almost didn't recognize her when he saw her, his mind rushing at how she looked. Her pale face was almost ghost white as if all the blood had rushed from her face, with the exception of her red eyes and the dark bags under her eyes.
His blonde haired friend stayed close behind him, watching as Mackenzie buried her face into Bradley's shoulder. James looked away, sighing tiredly.
"How did you.....what....did you....?" Mackenzie had stammered, pulling back to kiss Bradley's cheek gently. His skin tingled and his face still flushed at the thought of her lips on his, remembering to the last time they kissed.
Although he had pushed that down, deep within him, he still felt a pang of jealousy and a need to protect her. So when he saw the glittering ring on her finger, he felt his heart sunk just a little more. Not only for himself, but for her as well. Knowing that Niall probably wouldn't get better set his stomach to churning.
"Can I see him?" Bradley asked Mackenzie. Her face fell before she nodded, pulling him with her quietly as Niall's family followed.
"What's wrong?" Britt asked Liam quietly, her hushed tones coming back with the stress of seeing her husband like this.
"I don't know what I'm going to do anymore....." he whispered, his voice coarse and rough.
"Baby......it's okay." Britt whispered, grabbing his hand across the table. Liam had looked down at the sandwich she had gotten from which he wasn't eating before glancing up at her and letting a tear fall down his face.
"I......" he stammered, gripping her hand tighter.
"Hey. We're in this together. Okay? For better or worse....this is the worse...." she whispered, leaning forward. His hand tightened on hers as he took a deep, shaky breath. "Liam. Look at me." She pleaded. His eyes flicked up to hers quickly before resting back on the table.
"This shouldn't have happened. Not to him. Not to them." He mumbled. A flicker of recognition glistened in her eyes.
"I was thinking the same thing baby. But we can't change it now. There's nothing we can do."
"They deserved more than this. Niall deserves to be happy with her. And live a full life...." Liam whispered. His eyes blurred, making the granite surface of the table blurry.
"Liam......."
"I should have done something. I could have prevented this...." Liam started, the anger at himself growing inside of him, building up like a fire.
"Li..." Britt started again, but Liam had already stood up. Britt rushed after him as he turned and walked out of the cafeteria quickly, so quick Britt practically had to run to keep up.
"Liam. Wait." Britt ordered him, practically having to yell. Liam stopped, his gaze shifting towards the floor. Kneading his hands together, he turned afraid of her. Afraid of everything at this point.
"Liam. James. Payne." She huffed as she came around to stand in front of him. He kept his gaze on the floor like a child that did something wrong and was getting some punishment from his mother.
"This is all my fault!" Liam said, exasperated as he shook his head.
"Stop it." Britt whimpered, scared of Liam's reaction and scared of his constantly shifting attitude.
"I will not stop it!!" Liam yelled suddenly, making Britt's shoulders shrink into themselves. Her eyes widened and she took a step backwards from him. "I will not!! It's all my fault!!" He cried, sounding hysterical and broken as he backed away from Britt, pulling at his hair.
"Liam." Britt said nervously, her voice coming out like a squeak. She was scared of his yelling. The couple tried so hard to make things work. And tried very very hard to protect each other just like they did when they were kidnapped. That's why they married each other, because they wanted to protect one another, not to mention the unconditional love they had for each other.
"It's all my fault Britt! It is!!" He yelled at her, whipping around to face her. As he did so, she slapped him across the face firmly, her heart not wanting her to, but her mind telling her so.
He looked shocked for a second, his hand flying up to his cheek. She had never slapped him like that before. His mind was rushing, telling him it was still his fault.
"Look at me." She pleaded, searching his eyes intently and grabbing his face with her hands, one on each cheek. His eyes softened as a tear fell from his long eyelashes.
"Look at me." She reiterated quietly, kissing his lips gently. He blinked. "This isn't your fault. Listen to me. It isn't." She whispered gently, her face centimeters from his.
The tears ran down his cheek and down his chiseled jawline to fall onto his neck.
"But...." he started. She cut him off, pressing her lips to his gently.
"Shhh. Shhh.....listen to me darling." She whispered, sneaking her arms around his waist. He closed his eyes as they exchanged a tight, long, loving hug, her holding him tightly, not letting go, trying to mend his heart.
"I.....I'm sorry." He whispered over her shoulder. She shook her head gently, enjoying the warmth of his hugs. That was one of the things she adored about him. His hugs and the way he held her.
"Shh." She whimpered, not moving. He buried his face into her hair, hiding from the florescent lights and all the hospital-like things.
They clung to each other for dear life, not letting go, not moving one bit.
"Every thing will be okay." She reassured him, not too sure herself.......
"Louis. Please...talk to me..." Alexa begged feebly, trying so hard to get Louis to look at her. Louis was in shock, yet....not. He was mad at the world. Mad that anyone or anything could possibly take his little leprechaun from him.
Alexa sighed, bringing his hand up to kiss it slowly. He glanced up then, biting his lip constantly and avoiding his eyes from hers, looking at the door to Niall's room instead.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled, making Louis look at her again, seeing her tired eyes from the lack of sleep she's been getting for the past few weeks, worrying about her best friend.
He suddenly felt so selfish and sighed gently before getting up with her and pulling her along behind him until they got to the front doors, where not only their fans and Mackenzie's waited, but the vamps' as well.
Still not saying anything, they pushed out the doors and throughout the crowd, where their body guard was waiting for them. Getting into the car, Louis pulled her into his lap quietly, hugging her from behind and burying his face in her shirt.
Once they were dropped off at Alexa's house, the couple said nothing, hurrying inside and avoiding the paps who had found out where Alexa lived.
There was no cars in the garage and the house was silent, as the family had gone out to eat for the night, knowing that Alexa and Louis would probably come back and would like to be alone.
Alexa locked the door behind them, shutting out the paps questions and flashing cameras. Grabbing Louis's hand, she pulled him upstairs and through her room, into her bathroom. He stared at her, confused.
"Take a shower." She ordered quietly. He shook his head, refusing to let go of her hand.
"No........." he mumbled. She sighed, grabbing the edge of his shirt and pulling it over his head, running her hand down the middle of his chest. He watched her in silence as she undressed him, being gentle with him as she shoved him into the shower. She stepped into the shower with him, leaving her bra and underwear on as she helped him shower, him too much in a haze of thoughts to register anything.
She ran her hands through his wet hair before helping him out of the shower and dried him off like a child, putting some new underwear, sweatpants, and a sweatshirt on him. His blue eyes fluttered up to hers quickly, looking as if he was trying to figure her out. She pulled a t shirt over her head and pulled some shorts on slowly before pulling him out of the bathroom and flipping off the light. He sat down on the bed as she shut the door to her bedroom and flipped off that light as well.
"C'mere." He whispered. She nodded and climbed into bed next to him, pulling the covers up over them. Louis sighed and pulled her closer to him, burying his face into her wet hair. "You'll never leave me.....right?" Louis asked, scared of her dying. Scared of anyone dying.
"Never." She promised him. As long as he was here, she would, always ready to protect him. She had seen the many sides of Louis. His sassy one, his sad side, his crazy side, and his other side, that no one really knows about. The one that is so serious. The one that goes into lockdown when someone he loves is in danger. The one that makes him so protective, and..quiet.
This is the one that destroys him inside when he tells no one, deciding to keep it to himself.
"I love you." She whispered then, kissing his jaw gently.
"Love you too," he said without thinking. As she fell asleep in his arms tiredly, he laid awake, staring at the ceiling and listening to the sound of the furnace, turning on and off throughout the night.
He felt as if he slept, then something would happen, something out of his control. So....he laid awake. Watching Alexa sleep, and listening to her steady breathing. Her eyes closed tightly, and she shifted, frowning in her sleep, as a nightmare haunted her dreams.
Louis finally drifted off into a horrible sleep, all his fears more bright in the darkness. He rolled to his side, pulling Alexa even closer, trying to hide from the fears with her, trying so hard to...make everything....disappear.......