'Heartache, the destruction of life.'
Everybody has their own definition to it. My definition is emptiness, feeling like there is no point to go on without that one person. There is just this giant, gapping whole where your heart is.
Some say time heals all wounds, but I find that hard to believe, because if the one you love is missing, gone, and doesn't want you anymore what is the point of life, without love, happiness, and feeling complete? See, there isn't a point, because you become depressed and just want to be alone to sulk in your own personal misery that someone else caused. Or so you think. But it's not that person's fault they did say you have to fall in love with them and you had a choice to walk away instead of having a chance to get hurt. But in the end isn't trying to find love and a partner to share everything to and confide in worth the pain. I don't think so, because all of the heartache that happens isn't just once, it may be multiple times.
See in some peoples' mind, love is a state of mind; you become so used to that feeling towards someone that it no longer is love just an addiction that your brain sends to you. In other people's view of love, it is just a strong feeling of emotion that you let control you and take you where it might lead. Though in the end no matter what you always lose. Heartache surpasses all.
Though finding love and experiencing it. It is just not love for a partnership, it is also family and friends. Thought most people are blessed and have loved one around them, they are never truly satisfied with what they have, like me. I want a love, someone to be there for me. Hold me when I cry, laugh with me, and share a life with.
Thought people can't control what they feel, it starts with an attraction to the person. Though everything after that must be based on trust. Trust can make you or break you. I broke me, and now I don't know who to trust, and who to listen too. I'm just a mess in a crazy world, covering it up with a fake smile.
It's amazing what a little smile can cause people to believe. Even am I'm fine can fool the smartest people, thought you're really just dying inside. I mean if you looked me in the eyes even for just a glimpse, you would see the scares and the tears I'm holding back every day. I want people to think I am strong and happy and that nothing bothers me.
I used to think that you should always follow your heart and never second guess with, that's what I used to do. I would never use my head to make my decisions, I would go with my heart, but now that I have had my heart broken, I always lay awake at night wondering what I did wrong, and about the what if's and the how come's. I am always second guessing myself and wondering who and what is worth it.
Love in real life is nothing like a movie, rarely anyone finds their 'soul mate," the girl or guy rarely gets who they what, and hearts and lives are destroyed forever.
I've seen too many heartaches in my life and do not wish to have or see another one. I mean is it really worth it? Is it worth the pain and trouble? I mean you can't sleep at night, because you are crying and you usually cry yourself to sleep and wake up with nightmares or dreams, wishing and aching they would come true. And the pain keeps you up the other nights, screaming out because the pain is too unbearable to handle and you're wondering what you did to deserve this kind of excruciating pain in your chest where your heart was.
All I'm asking is, is finding love worth all of the pain?
Is it really worth it?