Shadow of the Past (Captain A...

By Professionalink

3.9K 124 11

Trying to forget that today was March 15 and trying to escape the long lecture from Rogers, Antonia locks her... More

Author's note
Chapter 2: Danger in Playground
Chapter 3: Broken Will
Chapter 4: Fear of the Hero
Chapter 5: The Silence of Time
Chapter 6: Prediction
Chapter 7: Freezing Loneliness
Chapter 8: Mysterious Memories and False Safety
Chapter 9: False Safety
Chapter 10: Last Resort
Chapter 11: The fear of the tail
Chapter 12: What must be done
Chapter 13: The Unbelievable Truth
Chapter 14: The Engineer's Wrench
Chapter 15: The Engineer's Guilt
Chapter 16: Ensnaring Memories
Chapter 17: The Nightmare
Chapter 18: The Nickname Chase
Chapter 19: The Rule Book and the Pigs
Chapter 20: The Fear of the Unknown
Chapter 21: The Anchor
Chapter 22: Her Father's Daughter
Chapter 23: No Laughing Zone
Chapter 24: Only A Matter Of Time
Chapter 25: The Changing Tide
Chapter 26: The Restless Soul
Chapter 27: The Second Green Beast
Chapter 28: Rising Guilt
Chapter 29: Chilling Metal
Chapter 30: Repeating Death
Chapter 31: The Deteriorating Mask
Chapter 32: The Letter
Chapter 33: For The Final Time Now
Final Author Note:

Chapter 1: Shadow of the Past

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By Professionalink

She was pissed. How dare he talk to her like that? Who in the hell did he think he was? He didn't treat Agent Romanoff like this, so why was he treating her like his? She could take care of herself; she had been taking care of herself for years. She didn't need anyone and she really didn't need him. She didn't even know why she was even on this team. Director Fury didn't want her on the team to begin with. He thought she was egoist and riskless, which was true, but she was dying at the time. It still bugged her that he used that to judge her.

Shaking her head, Antonia Stark took a deep breath. She wasn't going to let Rogers, no wait, Captain America, get to her. Though she wondered, why was he getting to her in the first place? His insults weren't the first and she knew damn well, they wouldn't be the last, so why did they hit so hard? Why did she care what he thought? If she really thought about it, she knew the answer. Her mind wandered to her father, and how her father talked about him. She knew Captain America was important to her father because he had never shut up about the man. So if someone well-liked by her father hated her, what did that say about her relationship with her deceased father? She didn't have a relationship with her father, and it hurt to know Captain America meant more to her father than she. Why did her father hate her?

As she took a deep breath, Antonia told herself to calm down. She tried to focus her mind on something else, because she didn't want to think about her father and her lonely childhood, a childhood that still gave her nightmares.

"Fuck!" she swore as she burnt her hand on the torch. She suddenly dropped the torch as she waved her burnt hand into the air, trying to cool it. After a few seconds, she remembered that the torch was still on. "FUCK!" Without thinking, Antonia reached down to turn it off. She fumbled with it as her hand hurt like hell. She didn't need her tower to burn down. "Fuck!" She cursed as she realized which part of the torch she had grabbed. She had picked up the metal mouth with her already burnt hand. "Fuck!" After she had set down the torch, she stared at her hand for a second, watching it turn deep red before reaching for the first aid. She knew this was her fault as she allowed her mind to drift.

"Are you okay, Miss?" The AI, known as JARVIS, asked. "I can alert someone."

"I'm fine," she muttered. "You don't need to call anyone. I got this." She didn't want him to call anyone, because she didn't need anyone. She was fine on her own as she would always be.

Antonia, after wrapping her hand, returned to her work. The wrench hurt as she held it in her burnt hand, but she wanted to work on the device, which could fit in her small hands, in front of her. The device, when operational, should be able to shut down all electronics within a 10 foot range. If it worked, she would increase the range to 25 feet or more, but she couldn't get it to work right. It fried electronics and reverse, which she couldn't understand how, the time on her clock by 15 minutes each time it fuzzed. That wasn't what she wanted.

Apart of her didn't want it to work, as it could be used as a weapon. This world ran on power, and to suddenly take that, there would be massive panic. The world could be thrown into darkness. She didn't want to think about the consequences if this got out. So why was she building this? She thought she was out of the weapon business. Shaking her head, she told herself this wasn't a weapon. It was a shield for her team, when they went on dangerous missions. She wouldn't let anyone outside of the Avengers get their hands on it.

"Miss Potts is requesting entry."

Glancing back, Antonia held back her scowl as Pepper smiled at her. Note to self, replace glass doors with metal ones. She had no idea why she thought glass doors were a smart idea, because it made it exceptionally hard to hide. "I'm surprise she doesn't just use the code." Pepper was one of the few people, who had code for the door.

"You changed the code."

"Oh," she muttered, forgetting she had done so. She had changed it yesterday, because somehow the jerk, Steve Rogers, had gotten ahold of the code. She didn't want him, well anyone really, to have access to her lab. "Let her in," she ordered as she placed the device down.

Virginia "Pepper" Potts walked in, wearing a silver top and a lace pencil skirt. Pepper could always pull off the pencil skirt, unlike her. Antonia couldn't really pull off the girly look, which was why she stuck to jeans and t-shirts. "Are you okay?" she asked as she noticed Antonia's badly wrapped hand.

"I'm fine," Antonia stated as she hid her hand under the table.

"When's the last time you ate?"

Antonia looked up. "I ate breakfast," she said, lying. Antonia couldn't recall the last time she ate; heck, she was lucky that she could remember the last time she left her lab. Pepper didn't need to know that. She didn't need that lecture.

Sighing, Pepper looked at her as if she didn't believe her. "Well, I made food. Come upstairs."

Rotating in the chair, Antonia turned her attention back to the device, which she still hadn't named yet. She wanted to wait until she got it working before she named it. "I'll take it down here."

"Antonia," she started, slowly. "You've to get out of the lab sometimes. You've been down here far too much." She walked to Antonia's side, placing a hand on her shoulder. She leaned down a little. "Come eat."

She hated that voice and Pepper knew it, which was why she used it often. It was why she could hardly say no to Pepper. "I'll be up in a few." Both of them knew what that meant: maybe in an hour, but Pepper wasn't going to call her out on it. Calling her out wouldn't help, and she did get Antonia to agree, which meant she would be up at some point. She just didn't know when.

Taking a deep breath, she turned away and headed toward that door. "And fix that clock. It's annoying."

Antonia turned and stared at the clock, sitting on a tall table across the room. "What are you talking about? I just adjusted it to the right time." Thanks to the malfunctioning device, she had to keep fixing the clock to the right time, because each time the device fuzzed, the clock would jump backward. She didn't know how the clock kept jumping back as it was out of the 10 foot range, but she couldn't really predict the effect of the nonworking device.

"It's ahead by an hour," Pepper stated as she changed direction. She picked up the clock and changed it back to the correct time.

Antonia stared at the watch on her wrist; she had set the clock to match her watch, which she could swear by. "Are you sure?" She pulled out her cellphone from her jean pocket and switched it on. When the screen lit up, she noticed the time stamp. It was an hour behind her watch. "Interesting."

After fixing the clock, Pepper turned back to the door. "Come eat, and I'll come get you if you don't come up. I mean it, Antonia. Don't test me," she said with a smile.

Putting her phone back into her pocket, she picked up the device and stared. What was going on with this tiny device? "Yes, mother," she teased. Though it was annoying, she was glad Pepper was here to do so.

"When did I sign up babysitting?" Pepper teased back as she walked out of the lab. Antonia watched her leave from the corner of her eye, knowing she would be seeing her again.

Sitting there in silence after placing the device down, Antonia placed her forehead against the cold metal table for a few minutes. She knew she should get up and get something to eat, because Pepper was right. She needed food. She needed to eat. She was hurting herself by not eating but it wasn't like she was doing it on purpose. She was just busy.

Her stomach had been growling, and she knew she should eat, but she kept telling it to be quiet. She didn't want to go up there. Why couldn't Pepper bring it down? She was forcing her to leave her lab, when she knew Antonia didn't want to. She was evil. Antonia didn't know who was upstairs, but there was a lecture waiting for her. Her team loved to lecture her, well besides Barton who just laughed at her.

She didn't want to deal with a certain person today, because of what today was. It was March 15, and she knew Rogers would know the importance of that day, because it was the day that her father died. He liked her father unlike her. She couldn't stand her father, and he couldn't understand why, but Antonia wasn't going to enlighten him. He didn't have the right to know. He didn't have the right to look into her soul.

Taking off her watch, she adjusted it to the time and stared at it before returning it to her wrist. Standing up, she straightened out her AC/CD shirt and headed out of the lab, because she didn't want Pepper coming after her, even if she had to see him. "Stop being a chicken," she told herself.

Making her way toward the kitchen, she could smell the food, which made her stomach growl more. She knew the smell of Pepper's food, having eaten it for years. Sure, Antonia could cook as she had to fend for herself since she was a small child, but Pepper was always the better cook. She didn't know what Pepper did to her food, but she could morph it in something, something more than food. Antonia smiled as the door to kitchen came into sight.

"So where's Stark?"

Antonia froze at the door as she heard her name. She knew who it was by the tone of his voice: Captain America. He was back early from his mission with Romanoff and Barton; they weren't expected back for at least a few more hours. She wished he had returned when he was supposed to, so she could've sneaked into the kitchen. She hated dealing with him and his insults. Sure since saving the world together, they had an understanding with each other and they did get along, but after a while, she couldn't deal with his high and mighty attitude. It was stupid, but she had started to pick fights with him, when she should've just let things go.

"She's in her lab," Pepper stated in annoyance. "She's always in her lab."

"And too busy to assist us, apparently," Rogers stated, bitterly.

His tone pissed her off. They didn't need her on that mission, which Director Fury had confirmed when she requested she didn't go; however, Rogers thought she was being lazy and selfish, thinking only about herself. In order to avoid a fight with him, she had left the room and went straight to her lab, where she had been ever since. Rogers had tried to come down to talk to her, but she had told him to fuck off, which he did.

"She wasn't needed," Barton said, coming to her defense. "The three of us handled it with no problem."

"If you think about it, they didn't need all three of us," Romanoff stated. "Two of us would've been fine."

"We couldn't have known that. If that base was half as full as it could've been, we would've been screwed," Rogers argued.

He had a point, but they both knew that it wasn't going to be. Their informant was solid; she wasn't needed. She wasn't going to be anywhere that she wasn't needed.

"We weren't, so drop it." Barton sounded annoyed. Barton and Banner were always coming to her defense as they seemed to understand her the best after Pepper and Rhodey.

Rogers didn't respond, but Pepper did, and Antonia wished she would've just let it go. "I understand why she didn't want to go. Today is a hard day for her."

"Why?" Barton asked. Antonia heard a slap and wondered who in the hell got slapped. She hoped it was Rogers, but she knew it most likely wouldn't have been him. "Why did you hit me?" Barton asked, answering her question.

"Because you're an idiot," Romanoff muttered. "Today is March 15: The anniversary of Howard Stark's death."

"How would you know that?" Barton asked.

"I was Stark's secretary at one point. It was my job to know everything about her," Romanoff, who always sounded annoyed, stated more irritated than usually.

"Wait, that anniversary is today?" Rogers asked, surprised.

Now, that surprised Antonia, as he and her fathers were friends. Howard couldn't stop talking about the famous Captain America and how he had stopped the war. Don't get her wrong, he was impressive, and she was a fan girl of him when she was younger, but she was sick of hearing about it all of the time. I thought he knew. She would have thought that Rogers would have wanted to know what happened to his friends. Maybe, their lives after him weren't important to Rogers. Maybe, he was the selfish one.

Hearing footsteps, she guessed they were Pepper's as they were too light to be anyone else. "It is, so please take it easy on her today," Pepper ordered. "Please just let it go. She doesn't want to remember it."

"Why? He's her father," Rogers stated. "He should be remembered."

"She didn't have a good relationship with her father," Romanoff stated. "I can understand, so for her sanity, just drop it." Romanoff wasn't her biggest fan, so it was something to hear her defend Antonia.

"He was my friend, you know. He wasn't just her father," he countered.

That pissed her off. Wasn't just her father? Did he think he had a right to her father? Sure, she didn't want him, but that didn't mean she wanted to share him with an ass. She was inching to go in there and punch him in his face, even though she knew that wasn't a good idea. She didn't need to break her already burnt hand.

"Shut it," Barton ordered. "I agree with Pepper. Let's change the subject." He lowered his voice. Antonia inched closer to the door, because he was still talking. She wanted to hear what he was saying, but she couldn't make it out. Why would he lower his voice? Did they know she was listening?

Hearing more footsteps, Antonia knew someone was walking toward the door. She didn't want them to find her listening, because she didn't want the looks from them and she didn't want to talk about her father. And she really didn't want to speak about it with Rogers, who had already gotten into an argument with her over her father.

Turning back to her lab, she hurried out of there as soon as possible.

---

Wiping the sweat off her brow, she stood back and stared at her masterpiece. JARVIS had been able to locate some paint via Antonia's request, which she had used to paint the glass doors. The doors, which were different shades of red and gold, were no longer see-through, and she was glad. She didn't want anyone to be able to see her. "JARVIS, play High Way to Hell and play it loud." The song played a second later.

She loved that song and she would sing along to it all day. "Living easy, living free... Season ticket on a one-way ride," she sung loudly. She didn't have a singing voice and she knew this, but she didn't care. She just enjoyed singing, even if her voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard. "Asking nothing, leave me be...Taking everything in my stride."

Antonia's stomach growled, but she ignored it. "Don't need reason, don't need rhyme. Ain't nothing I'd rather do." She crossed to her work desk, wondering if she could get food delivered to her. Maybe, she could get Happy to pick her up a burger from Burger King. "Going down, party time. My friends are gonna be there too, yeah." But she doubted the gang upstairs would let him through that easy.

She missed her Malibu lab, which came with a garage exit. In this tower, the only way to leave was the now painted doors. "I'm on the highway to hell. On the highway to hell," she sung loudly. Her voice was almost quacking, but she didn't care.

Picking up the device, she reached for the screw driver. She was going to take it a part, because there was something wrong with it on the inside. She was ready to give up on it. "Highway to hell. I'm on the highway to hell." Taking off the metal covering, she stared at the wires.

"No stop signs-" Antonia stopped as JARVIS had down turned down the volume. "Hey, what gives?" she asked, demanding answers.

"Captain Rogers and Miss Potts are requesting entrance."

Urgh, she thought. She didn't want to deal with anyone right now. "Tell them no," she answered, trying to listen to her song. It was playing too softly. "And please turn the music back up."

The AI didn't listen to her request. "I have already tried, Miss. They will not listen."

She knew Pepper was going to do this, but she didn't expect it out of Rogers... Okay, she did expect it from him, as he thought he would fix everything, which included her. Even with all of their fights, he thought she was something he needed to fix. "What do they want?"

"Miss Potts wants you to eat and Captain Rogers wants to speak to you."

Antonia did want to eat, but she couldn't just take food from them without getting an earful. She stared at the door, wondering if they liked her artwork, which she was very grateful for at the moment. "Tell them I want to be left alone."

"I have already done so."

Antonia sighed. "Turn on the speaker."

JARVIS turned off the music completely and turned on the speaker, so Antonia could speak with them. She wasn't going to let them in, even if she wanted the food Pepper had.

"Stark, open up," Rogers demanded. Though she would deny it, she liked how he said her name.

Antonia rested her head on hands and started at the monitor, which showed the hallway outside the doors. She could see the annoyance on Rogers' and Pepper's face. "And if I say no?" she asked.

They both looked up to the camera, looking almost relied that she answered. "Antonia, come out," Pepper demanded.

"No," Antonia said firmly, looking at the device. She put the metal casing back on the device.

"Stark, don't be an idiot," he stated. "You can't stay in there all day. You have to come out and eat."

Was that worry in his voice? When did he start caring about her personal wellbeing? Didn't he infer that she was selfish earlier? Why did he change his tone? "I can just order in. Burger King sounds good."

Rogers rubbed his forehead in annoyance. "There's no talking to you, is there?"

"Nope," Antonia smiled. He finally understood that she wasn't going to listen. "I enjoy my stubbornness."

"Antonia, fine, be stupid," Pepper yelled in frustration. "I'm not going to try then." She turned away and walked up the steps. It hurt to see Pepper work away, but Antonia knew this was what she wanted.

"By the way, nice paint job," Rogers stated, drawing her attention back to him. She was surprised he didn't leave with Pepper. "It's something."

"I don't like people watching me." Antonia stared at the monitor, trying to figure out what was going through his mind. "What do you want anyways?" His tone changed slightly with the departure of Pepper.

He took a step back from the camera, as he stared at the key pad on the door. "I want to talk. Let me in."

"No," She replied, turning back to the device. She tried to stop her mind from drifting back to the Captain and her father. Why did he want to talk to her? Did he want to talk about her father? Or was it because she wouldn't leave her lab?

"Stark," he started, taking a deep breath. "I know what today is." Nope, it was about her father.

Remaining silence, Antonia refused to talk to him about her father. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't talk to anyone about her father. There were times she had wanted to speak with Pepper or Rhodey about it, but each time she opened her mouth, nothing had come out.

"S-Antonia," he uttered as he tried some random codes. "Please let me in." He sounded weak, and it almost broke her. The way he said her name did not help as it made her heart miss a beat.

"Captain Rogers, the likelihood that you would guess the code is 1.2342%," JARVIS stated. "It is futile."

Rogers glanced up and smiled. "I like to beat the odds."

Antonia stared back the monitor and narrowed her eyes. He had a smile that could light up a room, but that didn't mean she would let him in. However, she had to admire his attitude, even if she could barely stand him.

"How many times do I need to say let me in? 5, 10,15 times? Let me in, please. Talk to me. "

Antonia stood up and started to pace. "I don't want to talk about my father!" She yelled. "So just go away."

"You can't keep it in."

"I had been doing that for years." She shook her head, as she took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she pictured her father, who was always yelling at her for doing something wrong.

"I don't see the issue? Why is there so much anger toward your father? The man I knew-"

Something snapped in her. "The man you knew was a fake!" She yanked open the glasses doors, ignoring the hunger pains, and walked Rogers into the wall. "The man I knew was an ass, who didn't give a crap about me!" She wanted to slap him. "He didn't speak to me unless he had to. He was just too busy to care. Too busy to tell me he loved me or even that he liked me."

"He wasn't like that."

She could feel the Captain's breath. "The man you knew maybe, but he isn't the man I knew." She looked down, not wanting to see his eyes. Antonia didn't want to speak to him, but somehow he had gotten her to come out of her lab, when she didn't want out. She didn't want to think about what that meant. "Please just leave me alone. I don't want to talk about him with you, especially you."

Antonia was so close to him that she could hear his breathing change and it made her wonder if she had gotten to him. Sure, she had insulted him, but she didn't think those insults had affected him as much as that statement did. It made her feel guilty, and she hated to feel guilty.

"Why do you push people away?" he asked softly. His back was against the wall and there was nowhere to go as Antonia had him pinned. His hand grazed her arm as he was unsure of what to do with it.

The contact made her want more. "I dislike people." It was the truth. She had never gotten along with other people, and it always got her in trouble. She had learned that it was best if she was alone, and that was why it was hard for her to be on this team. She wasn't use to the backup.

"Fine, I'll leave. Stark, have fun being alone," he replied, as he placed his hands on her small shoulders and pushed her back softly, which Antonia allowed him to do so. As he walked away, he stated, "There's food upstairs. You should eat."

"Don't tell me what to do!" she snapped. Antonia watched him leave before she turned back to her lab. "JARVIS, I do not want any other interruptions." She returned to her chair. "Turn the music up loud. I don't want to hear myself think." The AI did as she wished this time and turned the High Way to Hell up so loud that Antonia knew they would hear it upstairs, but she didn't care.

She also didn't care that her hunger pain was getting worse, because her emotional pain was greater and she didn't know how to deal with it. She never knew how to deal with it, because she wasn't taught to. In her family, emotions were for the weak, so she hid them. She acted the way she did to hide that she was hurting. She allowed herself to get lost in her playgirl egoist image, so no one could see the truth.

Taking a deep breath, she turned back to the device. "What if I give this thing more power? The lack of power must be the reason why it isn't working. Everything should be working." She had to yell for JARVIS to hear her.

"I would not suggest that," JARVIS stated, "There would be no telling what it would do to your chest piece if you increased the power."

Though the device even with increased power could not bypass the 10 foot range, she couldn't know predict what would happen to the electronics within the range. Antonia looked down at her chest piece and wondered if it would withstand the device. She had taken steps to make sure her Arc Rector would withstand the wave, but there was always a change that it wouldn't. There was a part of her that didn't care about the risk to the Arc Rector, and that scared her. Why didn't she care for her own life? "It'll be fine."

"If you say so."

Antonia smirked. "I do. If anything does, I give you permission to alert the others." She knew even without permission that JARVIS would alert the orders.

"Yes, ma'am." There was a pause. "It would be best to wait for Mr. Banner's return."

She knew the reasoning behind that as Banner was the only one scientist in the group besides her. If something were to go wrong, he would be the only one who could save Antonia. No one else had any idea of how her chest piece worked besides him. The scientists at SHIELD could only guess of how it worked. "He isn't due back for few more days, and you know how impatient I am."

"Yes, Miss Stark. I do know how impatient you are."

"Then let's get started," She stated with a smile, but that smile would not last long. In a few minutes, she would regret not listening to JARVIS.

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