Found
When I was a child, I had a pretty vague idea on what exactly love was. Growing up I watched a lot of television, soaking up everything they told me. Or more like soaking up everything they constantly portrayed just to get more views. It's kind of messed up how many broadcasting companies care more about ratings than taking their time to teach children about the basic fundamentals in life and how to communicate with others.
No wonder we're so fucked up. I wished Barnie or Elmo taught me how to deal with losing best friends instead of always making songs on how to tie my god damn shoes. No offense Elmo.
Anyways, as a young adolescent, whenever I watched shows that contained episodes of the characters developing crushes, they would act so different and confusing around whoever they liked rather than just being themselves. Some would go as far as to changing their whole appearance to get them to like them or to catch their attention. Even though its only for entertainment, there are those who truly believe the myth that one had to change themselves to get their crushes to like them.
Actually, I'm a hypocrite. I used to be one of those people.
I also noticed the pattern of the female characters waiting for the guy to do everything first. From making the first move to waiting on him to text first. Which might take a couple hours to a couple of days, depending on his interest levels. And have we forgotten how some guys are completely oblivious when it comes to girls and their feelings? While you're waiting for him to make the first move, he might be thinking that you aren't interested in him. Then you're both end up waiting on the other person and then BOOM: lost your chance buddy. All because of an outdated rule to "not look desperate".
It seems as though it doesn't seem to get any better as you grow up. I think it gets worse.
The women I used to watch on those "reality" shows were very problematic and argumentative. They would complain about their male significant other having friends of the opposite sex and assumed they were cheating if they stayed out too late or if he hasn't responded to a text for a couple hours. Dang. I wonder if they hurt their legs from all that jumping to conclusions. It must be tiring I imagine.
And it doesn't stop there. The men would act as if they were their guardian, from dictating on what their girlfriends should wear to where they're allowed to go and what time they should come back. Imagine a grown woman given a curfew from their partner. You would've thought they still lived with their parents.
Thankfully, your girl here has enough common sense to realize that's definitely NOT how a relationship can remain healthy. Hell, how would it last? Where was the trust, or just simple respect for each others privacy? I honestly thought it was stupid that once you get into a relationship, you have to cut off all connection or friendships with the opposite sex. It insinuates that you cant be friends with the opposite sex without having any romantic ties with the person. It also shows how insecure you are. And once all those insecurities climb into your relationship, it starts to drive you guys apart. I would know.
I honestly don't know what is so entertaining about all that unnecessary drama that those shows display, fooling naive people into believing that's how a relationship works. But to each their own I guess.
After watching all that bullshit, I decided to research and read about love and what it really means. I also went around and asked random people on their perception on love. And since this is such a complex subject, I received various answers.
Once in awhile, I got some reasonable, non-biased responses.
And then I would come across those who were heartbroken or had been mistreated a lot. So they proceeded on telling me to steer clear from love, that's its the destruction of mankind and how you should never trust anyone. That they'll all lie about how much they love you just to "get into your pants and leave".
Jesus. Thanks for the enlightening advice.
I learned a lot from all different types of people in my life on the controversial topic. But there's one special person that helped me realize that there are 6 things I learned about love that I think everyone should know about:
1) Sometimes you have to put someone else's happiness first before yours. You can't just do stuff without thinking about the other person. Put yourself in their shoes and think about how you'd feel if they did the same things to you. If you know you are a selfish person, well you better start improving on it.
2) Someone you once labeled as unattractive could suddenly become the most beautiful person you've ever met after you get to know them. When you fall in love with them, you're supposed to fall for them, their personality and not only their looks. Loving someone or getting into a relationship because of their looks is shallow. Besides, relationship solely based on infatuation seldom lasts. Looks fade, but a person's character lasts forever.
3) Don't be afraid to look "desperate". One day, you might get hit by a bus and will never be able to tell someone how much they mean to you and how much they love you. Always shower them with affection and show them how grateful you are to have them in your life. Because you'll never know when that bus is coming.
4) If you love someone and they are worth it, then you fight for them. No one said it was going to be easy, they'll be bumps on the roads of loving and getting to know each other. If it was easy, then maybe its not worth the fight. But don't just follow this advice so literal. Because...
5) ...sometimes loving someone who's been hurt multiple times in past isn't enough. Sometimes its all too much dealing with them, and you end up getting burned pretty badly. No matter how much effort you put into the relationships or how much you love them, sometimes you have to leave. There shouldn't only be one person giving their all while the other party is giving the bare minimum and is unwilling to compromise. That's when the downfall of the relationship begins.
And unfortunately the same person taught me the most painful lesson of them all:
6) What it really means when people say when people say the cliche quote, "If you love somebody, let them go. If they love you, they'll return."
Well sometimes they don't come back.
These are the lessons I learned after I found him.
---- End of Chapter One---
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