*Madelyn's POV*
I knew I needed to tell him sooner or later. There's still so many months till graduation and I still have no clue what I'm even doing.
I should have been more excited but to be honest, I wasn't expecting an acceptance letter that quickly especially from Columbia. I had visited Columbia University a few years ago on a family trip to New York and I fell in love with it. Sure I was only 16 at the time and my mind was set on going to college but now I'm stuck with everything. I know he shouldn't affect me this much but it just does.
I had to pretend to be excited only because my mother was so thrilled. She went to Columbia herself and the fact that her daughter got accepted too made her happier beyond belief. My father was so excited that he canceled an important meeting just so he could take us all out to dinner to congratulate me on my acceptance. I literally sat at the table faking my excitement while my parents ranted about what they would have to do, what I would have to do, and everything they loved about college.
They basically were willingly telling me that I needed to go. I mean they assume I have full intentions of going to college but hell what do I even know anymore. I would love to live in New York City, it's a lot different than Los Angeles but maybe the hustle and bustle of the city would be a good change for me. Something different to get me out of my shell.
I'm so proud of you Madelyn. You worked really hard for this and I'm so happy you did everything I recommended. I expect you to get accepted to more colleges in the next coming weeks. Remember if you ever need anything I'm always in my office during school hours and I'll be able to help you more if you have any questions.
I emailed my counselor only because I felt like I needed answers. Except the thing is she's exactly like my parents. Where does it say I need to go to college in a different state. Who says I need to do something like this even when I don't want to. I'm just overthinking everything.
*Harry's POV*
Saturday morning I made plans with Madelyn to go take a jog on the beach. We did it occasionally but sometimes I'm just too lazy to get off my ass and actually do something. Everything with Mads had be confusing lately. Ever since our kiss and the party, I'm just stuck. I don't have enough courage to actually do something out of the ordinary like admit my feelings to her. Fuck, how if she doesn't feel the same about me? What if I stand there and pour everything out and she just laughs. I know she wouldn't but I can't lose her as my best friend. But she's everything I want in someone and I am convinced, it's stupid, but she's my soulmate.
We met up at my car and she was wearing yoga pants with a school tee. Her hair in a ponytail and a large water bottle in her hand. She slid into the passenger seat and smiled at me, "Morning."
"Hey." The drive to the closet beach was a few and I couldn't help but notice she was being off about everything. I knew something was bothering her but I didn't have enough guts to ask her what was wrong. This is exactly why I knew that we should never have done anything in the first place because around her I just feel like an awkward slump who wants nothing more to kiss her but not make her uncomfortable.
"Is something wrong?" I can't take this any longer, she tells me everything and I'm honestly nervous about what she is going to tell me.
"What?"
"I know there's something bothering you."
"I'm fine."
"Mads."
She groaned and looked down at her hands, "It's just... I don't know."
"Mads, trust me. What's going on?" I laughed shyly looking over at her before looking back at the road.
"Well... A few days ago. I got a letter in the mail."
"Okay... And?" I furrowed my eyebrows together, confused as to why something that would come in the mail a few days ago would be even bothering her this much.
"Harry, just don't get mad."
"Why would I be mad? What did you do?"
"I.. Well I applied to colleges."
I swallowed at the word colleges. Every time Mads brought up college she always pushed it aside and never talked to me about it. I had already explained to her that I'm not college material and I have nowhere else to go but LA. Sure I should go to college but that I can do on my own time. I just want to live my life my own way and get a decent job even if it's something stupid like retail. I don't want to follow a standard of teenagers and I want to live my life my own way. Whereas Madelyn, she was going to do big things. She judged me every time I put college down just because I know how much it means
"You did?"
"Yeah, I didn't really want to like make a big deal about it only because if I got denied at least people wouldn't feel bad for me or like I don't know."
"Did you get denied?"
"No... I got accepted."
"Oh. That's good, we knew you would."
"Harry... I got accepted to Columbia. Which is my dream school."
"Columbia? Isn't that in New York?"
"Yeah."
Everything then hits me like a brick. She will go. I know Madelyn, she'll go and do everything she's ever imagined. Make people proud of her. Forget about me.
"Oh."
That's all I can say. Fuck, I should be supportive as I know everyone will be. But I can't imagine saying goodbye to her. I might be fucking dramatic about it, but the idea of not being around her makes me stomach turn.
I look over at her, I know she's bothered by my answer. She's looking back down at her hands, ignoring my eye contact. I wish I could know what she's thinking right now but I'm just so stuck in my own thoughts that I'm too afraid to even hear hers.
"That's good, Mads."
"Yeah."
"So are you going?"
"I haven't made a decision yet. I just found out, Harry. I mean out of all the colleges I applied to that's the college I want to go to. It's far but if I had to go somewhere it would be there."
"You don't have to go anywhere."
"Yes I do Harry."
"What the hell. No you don't/ Stop fucking thinking you have to impress everyone and do what everyone expects from you. You're so much better than to feel pressure to do something I know you really don't want to do."
"Who said I didn't want to go to college? Harry, I applied to the colleges on my own time and put a lot of time and effort into those things. Columbia was the hardest to do and they were the first to accept me. I'm really proud of myself for doing that and I can't just turn down that offer."
"Yes you can."
"Harry stop." She puts her hand on her temples and rests her elbow on the window.
"Yeah but New York."
"I know."
I sigh turning into the parking lot at the beach we always go to. I stop the car and look around noticing the families and people either at the beach relaxing or playing. I look over at Mads, her eyes are closed and her hand is over her forehead.
"I can't stop you from doing anything." My voice breaks the silence and her tiny body jumps slightly at my words. She keeps quiet and shrugs. "If you want to go, I can't stop you."
"I just want you to be happy for me."
"I am happy for you."
"You're not." She looks up and I can see that she's been trying not to cry. Her brown eyes are a shade darker and her bottom lip trembled slightly when I looked at her. I shrug distracting my own hands by playing with the steering wheel in front of me and sighing.
"I've been afraid to tell you because I knew this was going to be how you reacted."
"Reacted like what?"
"You're the only one who’s honest with reality."
"What?"
"I'm proud of myself for doing it. I never thought I would actually get accepted and I am proud of myself for being able to get enough guts and do it and just... Actually get accepted. I'm scared to go and everyone around me would be so disappointed in me if I turned it down and I feel forced to go. But you... You actually want what's best for me, us."
The word “us” makes my body feel lifted. She actually thought about us before college. I could never be selfish enough to hold her back from doing what's right but I can't imagine her leaving me.
"I want you to be happy though."
"I would be but it would be different."
"What makes you happy?"
She hesitates before looking down with a shrug and turning to face me, "You."
(A/N: Hi guys! I love you so much!! We’re so close to 4k reads and that makes me so happy. I hope you guys are enjoying your week and please vote!)