Chapter 37
This Gift of Joy
(Olivia)
I have never met Robin’s parents, but I know who they are the moment they step into the room. Her mother has the same wispy brown hair that is constantly escaping clips and bobby pins. Her father has her same pale skin and bright eyes. Robin stands between them, with my own family a step behind.
They already know, I realize. Evie’s red eyes betray her. Mom and Dad share a look half relieved that I am awake, half agonized because they too have already agreed to let Mason slip out of our lives, maybe for good. Robin and her family are the worst. Her parents’ calm, pleased expressions make me want to scream.
I don’t want to show them any weakness. I want to prove that I am strong enough to protect Mason, better suited to keep him safe than they are. Every ounce of strength I have goes into not breaking down. I pull my head up off Mason’s shoulder and meet eyes with Robin’s mother.
“You’re taking Mason?” I ask.
“He asked us to help him hide,” she corrects, “until his birthday when…if you take him home.”
Gritting my teeth, I stare her and Mason down. “When. When I take him home. That’s not up for debate.”
Mason’s mouth opens, but a scathing glare from me shuts him up. I turn back to Robin’s mom. “How exactly do you intend to keep him safe? We’ve been protecting him for twelve years, and we were doing a pretty good job of it until your daughter stumbled into our lives and set the Sentinels on our trail.”
I don’t even try to hide the vile look I shoot directly at Robin’s head. The look of shame I see in Robin’s eyes is only a tiny spark compared to what I think it should be. She’s the one who knew all the rules. She broke them once and it cost Eliana her life. Why didn’t she learn? Why did she egg on her relationship with Mason, putting him in danger and nearly getting us killed? It is almost painful to tear my eyes away from her and put aside my anger.
Looking back to Robin’s parents, I see my own anger reflected in their eyes. At first, I expect them to lash out at me for blaming their daughter, but they don’t. Robin’s father glances down at his daughter in disgust before looking back at me with a tight expression.
“Robin’s actions will be dealt with at a later time, and I can promise they will be appropriately harsh. Right now, Mason is our main concern. If he is indeed one of the Aerling ruling class as Robin has speculated—which we are inclined to agree with—it is imperative that we send him into hiding as soon as possible. Tonight, in fact. Arrangements have already been made.”
He stares down at me as if every word that just came out of his mouth didn’t stab me in the heart. “Tonight?” I squeak.
Robin’s mom nods. “You were smart to get rid of the body of the Sentinel that attacked you, but it won’t be long before he’s missed. They’ll come back for Mason if they believe he is still with you, and they won’t stop with just his life.”
“How …” I gulp in a painful breath. “How will they know he won’t be there? They can’t see him. They won’t be able to tell he’s gone. Won’t they just come looking regardless and…and kill us?”
Mom and Dad glance at each other worriedly. Mom pulls Evie in under her arm and tries to squeeze away the fear in her eyes. I feel weak and wobbly as Mason’s arm tightens around my shoulder. Is this all for nothing? Will we die no matter what we do? A flash of selfishness says that if we’re all going to die, I’d rather spend my last few hours in Mason’s arms than waiting alone for news that the Sentinels have found him.
The cruelty of such a thought slaps against my love for him. I told Mason already that I was ready to give my life in exchange for his, that I could never stand by and let him die when I could have prevented it no matter what the cost might be. Was I lying when I said that?
An ache starts deep in my chest and quickly swells to my fingertips and toes. I want so much to be with Mason. I want to be swallowed in his love and lose myself completely in his touch. I want my world to begin and end with him, but I can’t lie to myself. I have to face reality, and that means giving in when it’s the last thing I want to do.
I look back up at Robin’s mom and she sees the acceptance in my eyes. It spurs her to answer my question. “Robin has mentioned to you that we have Caretakers serving in the police force. They will be stationed outside your house. Not only will this protect your family from the Sentinels, it serves as a message to them. They will understand that we are aware of their interest in Mason. The Sentinels know we would never leave an Aerling within their reach. It should be enough to turn their search elsewhere.”
“Should be?” I snap. Maybe she doesn’t care all that much about my family given that they aren’t Caretakers, but I am not about to kick up my heels on maybe.
“We have every confidence that they will back off,” Robin’s dad says, “but if they continue their interest, the Caretaker officers will be there to protect you.”
“And my family, right?” My eyes narrow at the both of them. “I may be Mason’s Escort, but you all are going to protect every member of my family.”
It’s not a question. In the back of my mind I admit that I have absolutely nothing to bargain with, but either they don’t realize that, or they think I have some way of thwarting their plans. They share a look that doesn’t seem entirely pleased, and then nod curtly.
“Of course your entire family will be protected.”
My eyes bounce between theirs and I get the twisted feeling that making a deal with them is something akin to selling my soul. I don’t know what else to do, though. Hiding the growing sense of panic, I fix my gaze on Robin’s mother.
“You never answered my original question. How exactly are you planning to keep Mason safe?”
Her lips stretch tight into a smug smile. “You act like this is the first time Caretakers have ever had to hide an Aerling. We know how to protect them better than anyone.”
“Is that why Mason’s in danger now?” I snap. “Because you’re all so great at keeping secrets and protecting people?”
The skin around her eyes crinkles as she narrows her glare.
“Answer the question,” I demand.
“Mason will be moved every two weeks from one Caretaker family to the next. Only the Caretakers he is with will know his location. He will be kept indoors at all times once he is transferred so there is no chance of a Sentinel spotting a door opening by itself or other strange occurrences. He will be monitored closely and allowed no contact with anyone outside the family he is with, ensuring he remains safe,” she says. “This will continue until his eighteenth birthday when the Caretakers he is with will contact us and make arrangements for you to join Mason and escort him home.”
My family has been silent throughout this exchange, but now my dad unravels himself from Mom and Evie and storms up next to my bed. His hand slips into mine as his gaze travels to Robin’s parents. “What exactly happens then?” he demands. “You expect Olivia to waltz in to be Mason’s Escort, but no one has bothered to explain what will happen when she does. We need to know that our daughter will be safe before we agree to any of this.”
Robin’s father, who should understand better than anyone a father’s love for his daughter, tightens his jaw angrily. The expression on his face makes me shiver. “Your daughter was born into this world to serve a purpose. What right do you have to deny her the opportunity to fulfill her purpose? If she is destined to die helping Mason return to his world, then she will die knowing she has done the right thing. It is not your place to determine her future.”
Dad goes rigid next to me. “Not my place?” he growls. “I am her father! It is my purpose to love and protect her, from the Caretakers if necessary. You are fooling yourselves if you think we’ll hand her over to you blindly.”
It is like an old western showdown between them. Robin’s parents look furious that my dad would question them, let alone threaten them. Dad looks ready to throw a punch. I love him for standing up for me, for loving me enough to stand up to these nutjobs, but he’s wrong about this. Robin’s parents are right about one thing. It isn’t his choice whether or not I will help Mason and possibly die in the process. I will save Mason’s life and take him home. That is not up for debate.
“Dad,” I say quietly as I touch his arm, “it’s okay.”
He peers down at me, confused.
“Nothing has to be decided right now,” I lie. “Let’s just hear them out, okay?”
Dad clenches his jaw. Mom looks like she is on the verge of tears while I fear Evie is about to tear into Robin and her parents. The room stays quiet, neither agreement nor dissent passing between us. It’s the best I can hope for right now. I look back at Robin’s parents and study them for a moment.
I’m sure they are very dedicated Caretakers. Clearly, that’s their main priority, even over their own daughter. I get the impression that they only had a child to pass on their purpose. And she stripped them of that. Robin’s head dips down when her father deigns to glace in her direction. The look in his eyes echoes my own anger and frustration I feel toward Robin because of the problems she has caused us, but there is something even more intense in his expression. Hatred.
I never thought I would pity Robin. I’ve been too busy despising her for that, but in this moment I feel sorry for her. My parents are standing beside me, protecting me because they love me. Robin’s parents would throw her to the wolves if they thought it would win them another chance to care for an Aerling and fulfill their purpose.
A strange mixture of emotions crowds in on me, but I push them all back and refocus on Robin’s scary mother. “What happens to Escorts after they help their Aerlings return home?”
“Their fate is…uncertain.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Mason demands, speaking up for the first time. His body is tight beside me and his fingers are strangling mine.
“It means we don’t know,” she snaps. “Most Escorts never return. We have no idea whether they are able to cross into the Aerling world with their charge, or if their lives are the cost of sending the Aerling home. There is no way for us to know for sure.”
“What about the ones who do return?” Dad asks. “Surely they have given the Caretakers some insight.”
Robin’s father shakes his head. “The ones who do come back…they aren’t the same.”
“What do you mean?” Evie demands, nearly yelling out her question. “Like she’ll be crazy? What kind of jacked up system is this?”
Neither of Robin’s parents seems interested in answering. Their hard expressions stay fixed on me. I suppose to their minds, it shouldn’t matter what might happen to me. It’s my purpose. Surprisingly, it is Robin who answers.
“The Escorts that have come back, they aren’t crazy, but there’s something wrong with them. Guilt maybe. None of them will ever talk about what happened. Most Caretakers believe they either failed to return their Aerlings and witnessed their deaths, or were too cowardly to follow through and abandoned their Aerling.” Robin twists her fingers around each other. “Not fulfilling our purpose is like treason to Caretakers. Escorts who come home are ostracized.”
“Wait,” I say, “are most Escorts Caretakers?”
The look that passes between Robin’s parents is irritating, like they’re debating whether or not I am worthy enough to receive whatever information they’re hoarding. Robin’s mother tilts her chin up snobbishly before speaking, “Yes, most Escorts are Caretakers. Only rarely do we find an Escort among the lay people.”
Evie snorts, and I have the urge to do the same. Lay people? Like they’re better than everyone else just because they’re Caretakers? Mason shakes his head, which only serves to irritate Robin’s parents. Like I care at this point.
“Escorts who are not Caretakers,” Robin’s mom continues, “are rare, and usually a sign of …”
When her voice trails off, it’s not easy to resist the urge to grab her and shake the answer, all the answers, out of her skinny little body.
“It means,” Robin says as she steps forward, “that Mason is very important.”
Evie laughs out loud. The mocking lilt to her laughter grates on Robin’s parents. My own smile is vicious as well, because I know why Evie is laughing. “So, the most important Aerlings can’t be trusted to the Caretakers.”
“That’s not true,” Robin’s mother snaps.
“Of course it’s true, yet you still want us to trust you to protect Mason until his birthday.” If both of my hands weren’t occupied holding onto Mason and my dad, I would throw something at her.
Mason’s hand tightens around mine, and at first I think he is doing it to show his agreement. When he looks down at me I know I am wrong. My heart aches because it is the same look I gave my dad just a few minutes ago. Mason’s thumb grazes my knuckles lightly.
“I know you don’t want to agree, Olivia, but it’s the only way I can be sure you’ll be safe. I have to go with them.”
“No,” I beg. Tears spring to my eyes and begin rolling down my cheeks. The pain in my chest spreads to every part of me. “Please don’t go.”
The agony in his expression kills me. His head shakes back and forth, breaking my heart. “I can’t stay. I have to leave. You know this is the only way.”
“I don’t know, and neither do you! Please, Mason, don’t go,” I beg.
His fingers brush away my tears. Dad’s hand slips out of mine as he steps back and let’s Mason take me in his arms. Everyone else disappears from my mind as I look up at Mason through tear-filled eyes. He blinks away tears, but they roll down his cheeks anyway. I shake my head back and forth, refusing to believe our time together is over. I can’t do this without him. I can’t sit back wondering and waiting, not knowing where he is or if he’s safe. I can’t wake up every morning knowing he won’t be there.
“Let me come with you,” I beg one last time.
Mason crushes me against his chest. The pain in my shoulder flares, but I only grip him tighter. My frightened tears explode into a torrent. I only cry harder when Mason’s tears splash down on my skin.
“I love you, Ollie,” Mason whispers. “This won’t be forever, I promise. We’ll be together again soon.”
Squeezing my eyes shut tightly, I press my forehead into his chest. I can’t face him. I can’t say goodbye, even if it’s only for a few months. I can’t, because I don’t trust Robin’s parents. I am terrified that this will be the last time I ever see him. My head shakes back and forth until Mason forces my chin up so I have no choice but to meet his gaze. His red, swollen eyes send another shot of agony through me.
“Ollie, please. Don’t make me leave you like this. You know I don’t want to go. I would never leave you if I had any choice.” His expression is pleading, begging me to tell him this is okay.
I don’t want to, because it’s not. It’s not okay! But the pain in his eyes is too much. “I know,” I whisper hoarsely. “I know you don’t want to leave. I’m sorry, Mason. I want to be strong for you, but I don’t know if I can. I love you so much. I can’t imagine not being with you every day.”
“I know,” he whispers, “I know.”
His arms curl around me and we hold each other in silence. There is so much to say, but I am out of words. I lean up and pull Mason’s lips to mine. I don’t care who is watching or what my dad may think. Every ounce of my love flows into this one kiss. My fingers slide back into Mason’s hair as he cradles me against him. Heat grows between our bodies as our souls irrevocably connect, mixing in a way that will never let us drift apart. In the midst of this terrible pain, we are sheltered by this gift of joy. Mason is mine, and I am his, no matter what we are forced to face.