Helpless

By katyspillow

17.6K 899 337

Katy Perry decides to end things with her boyfriend John Mayer. She meets a famous actor and lets him in her... More

Prologue
1. Never on the day you leave
2. Heartbreak girl
3. Half of my heart
4. Do you know me
5. Friends, lovers or nothing
6. Who you love
7. Love me
8. Not like the movies
9. Walking on air
10. Love is a verb
11. Remember who I was
12. The age of worry
13. Shadow days
14. Waiting for love
15. One dance
16. Keep the faith
17. Whatever happens
18. I was made for loving you
19. I wanna be where you are
20. In repair
21. Little do you know
22. Medicine
23. Remember the time
24. The lady in my life
25. Keep it to yourself
26. Look what you made me do
27. Long way home
28. The name of the game
ā€¢CHRISTMAS BONUSā€¢ Winter Wonderland
29. Revenge
31. Say you won't let go
32. All you had to do was stay
33. Ain't no sunshine
34. Legends never die
35. You belong to me
36. City of stars
37. Lay all your love on me
38. Home is where you are
39. Start of something new
40. Everything has changed
ā€¢Epilogueā€¢ What a beautiful life

30. Diamond heart

400 20 1
By katyspillow




Katy's POV

I yawned as I turned around, wanting to cuddle with John but when I finally faced the other side of the bed, he wasn't there. There was just empty place next to me. I felt sadness. Every time I wanted to cuddle up with him, he was away. Something else was more important than me? I closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep but it didn't work. I sighed, looking at the ceiling.

I stood up and looked around. There was still lying John's jeans on the floor so I knew he didn't leave completely. I went quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen where John was sitting on the chair in only his boxers, doing something on his laptop. I made my way to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He quickly closed his laptop making me frown. "I didn't expect you here so early." He said as he turned to me.

"I wanted to cuddle with my boyfriend but he was gone. Didn't you see him?" I looked behind him, acting like I was searching for 'my boyfriend'.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't see him." He laughed. His hands on my cheeks forced me to look into his brown eyes. John lightly pecked my lips and smiled.

"What were you doing?" I mumbled as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Planning a trip for us." He returned.

"A trip? Where?" I asked smiling.

"Montana." He replayed as he kissed my hair. "Actually, we are going tonight."

"What? I'm not ready!" I screamed as I jumped up wanting to run upstairs but John stopped me, holding my hand.

"I already packed you, babe." He pulled me close between his legs.

"You did?" I smiled widely, probably looking like an idiot. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he nodded. I was so happy at this moment. My album was done and it's gonna be release next month. I had a boyfriend I've never dreamed of. He was so sweet and caring. I never thought I'd deserve someone like him but I did. I had a chance to hold him in my arms- have him in my life. He was brought here to be my lifesaver and he never failed in his job. He was always making me so cheerful.

I kissed John's cheek and ran to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and dressed up in a cute long white dress with red and pink flowers on it which was showing my shoulders. When I was doing my makeup, I decided to leave my lips more red than usually to match them with my dress. As I was done with my makeup, I used some perfume to smell like sweets. It was like my obsession. I needed to be sure that I smell good. I went back downstairs where John was waiting for me, a smile from ear to ear on his face making him look so adorable. I stood in front of him as his eyes were running up and down my body. He laid his hands on my waist and pulled me close to his chest.

"You look gorgeous, sweetness." He murmured into my hair. John let go of me and opened the door. We walked out of the house with Nugget running around us and he locked the door. Everything was already in the cab waiting for us. We drove to the airport but before we were there, we stopped at the mall and John paid for my new nails which was so sweet of him. I decided to make them longer and paint them red.

When we were on the plane, I laid my head on John's shoulder, watching the view from the small window as our fingers locked on my lap. I was excited to be back in Montana. I loved this place and peace there. It was our peaceful place. No fans wanting autographs or paparazzi watching our every move. It was the only place in the world where you feel carefree. It was also the first time in years when I'm gonna see Moose. I missed him so much.

After two hours we landed in Montana. I jumped up happily and ran outside. I was standing next to our plane looking in awe at the mountains in front of me. It felt like home. Everything was different here. No skyscrapers, highways. Just normal village with kind people. I took a deep breath, feeling fresh air, something you never feel in LA. John stood behind me with our bags, laughing at me. I turned to him with a huge grin.

"I missed it. Thank you for taking me here." I said as I hugged him tightly.

"There's no need to thank me, princess." He chuckled. "We're staying here for a week." I made a happy noise, hugging him even more tightly than before making him laugh again. I was acting like a kid who's excited for Christmas or something.

We took a cab and drove to John's house. The house was huge. The walls outside were white with warm brown wood in some parts of them which made it look like a real mountain house. The windows were big giving so much light inside. There was also a garden like back in LA but with jacuzzi instead of the swimming pool because there was much colder than in LA.

John opened the front door and let us in. I took off my shoes and looked around. There was much colder than the last time I was here but it's because no one was living here but nothing more changed. There was still a hallway taking you straight into the living room with a big fireplace in front of the couches and tv hanging on the wall. Next to the fireplace was the glass door to the garden and then there was a kitchen and dining room. Downstairs were also rooms like studio, sport room and so on but bedrooms were upstairs. John opened the glass door letting Moose inside who ran happily into the living room.

"Moose!" I screamed excitedly as I kneeled, opening my arms. John's dog ran towards my voice but he stopped a few meters away from me, looking at me like he saw a ghost. He looked at John confused.

"You're not dreaming, buddy. Katy's here. Told ya I'm gonna get her back." John laughed at his dog who was looking like a lost puppy. Well, a really big puppy. Moose slowly turned back to me while I was still kneeling with my arms open, waiting for him to run to me. His tail started moving to right and left. He ran to me and jumped happily. I wrapped my arms around his neck, giggling as he was licking my cheek. His tail was waving so quickly that his butt was almost in the air all the time making John laugh loudly at his silly pet.

"I missed you too!" I said in a baby voice. I kissed his head and stood up. We took our things upstairs to unpack. I walked behind John into the main bedroom and stopped in the middle of the room. I looked at the king size bed with a huge window behind it where you could watch mountains all day and never get tired of the view.

"Why are you smiling?" John asked as he laid his hands on my belly, his head in the crock of my neck.

"We created so many memories here." I replied. I started thinking about things we did here. Not just in this room but in Montana. From our first love making, fooling around, spending afternoons in the jacuzzi, to our trip to the town or getting lost in mountains.

"We can create even more." He whispered sexily. John kissed my neck making a small hickey. I moaned in pleasure as we made our way to the bed. I fell into the sheets with him on top of me. I smashed our lips as his hands were squeezing my ass. I wrapped my legs around John's waist pulling him down on me. Small moans were uncontrollably escaping my mouth making John deepen the kiss. I opened my eyes to look into his brown gaze. He looked at the clock on the nightstand and quickly pulled away. "Shit. We have to go." He said as he stood up making me frown. "Oh, um- I have a surprise for you."

"Surprise? For me?" I asked as I stood up too. He nodded as he held my hand taking me out of the room and down the stairs. He left me in the hallway and ran to the studio. I looked around confused until I saw him running back to me with guitar. We went outside. John locked the door and held my hand in his. It looked really funny when we were holding hands because my hand looked so small next to his big one but it also felt good like it was made to be there. We went to John's neighbor Tom, I think. He was waiting for us, holding a white horse which made me stop in my track. He wanted to ride a horse with me? Was he insane? Didn't he remember that I'm scared of horses since the one who was in Wide Awake bit me.

"What took you so long?" Tom raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not watching the time while I'm with my princess." John replied making me blush. "Come on, babe."

"I won't sit on it." I whispered as I didn't move. "You know I'm scared of it."

"And that's why we are gonna ride her together." He said as he laid his hand on my cheek. "You're not alone. I'm here to help you."

I smiled a little at him and pecked his lips quickly. We walked towards the horse. John picked me up, helping me to sit on the big animal. Then he sat behind me, his arms around me holding horse. I screamed quietly as we started moving. I gripped John's arms tightly.

"It wasn't a good idea to do your nails, you know?" John said as I looked at him confused. "They're really long, babe."

Tom laughed loudly from behind as I looked down at my hands realizing that my grip was too tight. I loosened it a little as I laid my head on his chest. We were riding somewhere in the mountains but John refused to tell me where. I closed my eyes, trying to forget that we were on the horse. After a few minutes I decided to open my eyes and I watched the breathtaking views. After an hour we finally stopped.

John jumped out of the horse and laid his hands on my waist, picking me up and into his chest. I wanted to thank God that I'm still alive and kiss the ground under my feet. "Was it that scary?" He asked as he rubbed my back making me feel protected.

"Yeah." I laughed as I hugged him. "So what's the surprise?" John smiled as his hands made their way to my shoulders and turned me around. My mouth dropped at the view in front of me.

There was a huge grassland with forest on the sides. It was pretty high because when you look behind you see all the village. In the middle was a beautiful lake with a boat and little lights in the water which confused me.

I turned to John looking at him questionably. He laid his hand on my lower back, pushing me lightly towards the lake. When we were close enough to it, I noticed that the lights I saw were candles placed on the water lilies. My heart melted knowing that John planned it for me. Tom gave him the guitar and John helped me to get into the boat. He joined me as I smiled at him warmly. John placed the guitar next to me and he started paddling until we were in the middle of the lake. I looked towards the village where was an unbelievably beautiful sunset which was giving a warm orange color on the sky. I've never seen something as beautiful as this. I locked eyes with John as he took the guitar.

"I don't even know how to start." He laughed nervously. "I just want you to know that I love you so much and nothing will ever change it. And you know, I found a perfect song for this moment."

Was he even real? Because I've never felt like this before. No one has ever been this loving and caring towards me and it made me scared that this feeling will disappear. I needed to live in the moment, not caring about tomorrow. Like I sang- all we have is this moment. Tomorrow's unspoken and yesterday is history. John started playing the guitar which made me return to the reality but this time my reality wasn't hurting or making me feel sad. I felt happy and loved like I didn't feel in so long.

"I found a love for me
Darling just dive right in
And follow my lead
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we're so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we'll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I'll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don't deserve this
You look perfect tonight"

He laid his guitar in the boat and then turned his attention back to me. I smiled at him widely, feeling so many emotions at the moment. He came closer to me and wiped away some tears which were running down my face but their were happy tears. He kissed my nose making it crinkle just like he loved it. I made a kissy face as he laughed at me but then he leaned in to kiss my red lips, his hand on my chin stopping me from pulling away.

"Love you." He whispered into my lips.

"It doesn't feel the same when there's not 'I'." I murmured caressing his cheek.

"I love you so much." He returned with a small laugh.

"I love you too." I kissed his lips again.

"Let's get you home before you freeze, shall we?" He asked as he was paddling to the edge of the lake. When we were back standing in the grass, we went to Tom who was waiting with two horses. I sighed, knowing that I had to sit on it again.

"Watch out." As I was about to go next to the horse, John pulled me into his chest when the animal kicked the air. He once again sat me on the horse and then also jumped on her. "Hold my arms tightly. We're gonna ride faster than before and I don't wanna you to fall."

"Aww, you're so protective. That's sooo adorable!" I said cutely with my hands on his cheeks as he rolled his eyes. I turned back around and held his arms.

"I'm not adorable, Hudson." John replied as we started riding. "You shouldn't have called a man like me adorable."

"How would you like to be called, John?" I asked, trying to look professional but I couldn't stop the giggles.

"A badass, sex God-" He started making me burst out giggling uncontrollably. "Oh, I'm gonna show you tonight, hun."

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing escaped them. I didn't know what to snap back so I turned my head to the side showing him that I'm mad which only made him laugh with Tom. I didn't say a word for the rest of the ride. I was watching the nature around me. When we stopped next to John's house, I jumped off the horse all by myself and rushed towards the door. I was so close to the door but two hands wrapped around me and picked me up making me scream. John opened the door and walked into the house with me still in his arms. He took off his shoes as I laid my head in the crock of his neck. He took me upstairs to his bedroom and laid me on the bed. He sat next to me, holding my hand.

"Oh, come on. Don't be mad at me, Kate." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad." I murmured into his ear as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I can't be mad at you because you're just too cute!"

"Hudson!" He screamed as he started tickling me. I was laughing uncontrollably, begging him to stop, my stomach was already hurting.

"Show me how much of the sex God you are."  I said seriously. He didn't wait any seconds to be on top of me. I didn't expect him to be this quick until I realized I was already undressed from my dress and was left in only underwear.

"You sure about it? I don't wanna push you." He whispered as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb, lying on me.

"I'm sure." I replied with a huge grin. He returned the smile and leaned in to kiss my lips.

__

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