warning: contains mentions of suicidal thoughts and almost attempted suicide.
request for @elisyilay (all they asked for was a Jun imagine in school I didn't intend for it to get dark, I'm sorry😅)
- ☁️ -
I stood next to a bridge outside of the school. I've been visiting here for a while, trying to figure something out. Today I was going to take a chance. A rather.. interesting, kind of chance. I've been analyzing the possibilities for weeks. And today I'm finally going to attempt to see how it'll go.
It was high up, above a river filled with a bunch of rocks. Cars used to drive over it all the time, so it's all rickety and worn out, not to mention it's been covered to the brim with all sorts of graffiti. As to what I'm trying to figure out, it's if I can jump off without surviving.
I just.. I don't know. I feel.. empty. It's like I can jump off right now without hesitating..
Checking around to see if anyone was there one last time, I took a step up on the thin metal that lined the entire bridge, looking over the edge.
As the wind blew and the air around me seemed to grow heavy, I gripped the railing, about to bring myself up. I got an adrenaline rush looking down again, so everything felt like it was going in slow motion. Then suddenly, a voice shouted to me.
"Hey, excuse me! Could you help me?" A voice said, getting closer by the seconds.
My foot slid off of the bottom of the rails, my palms suddenly becoming sweaty and I became lightheaded for what felt like a split second.
I stepped down from the little way I had made it, looking in the direction of where that voice had come from.
An unfamiliar boy was walking up to me, looking distressed.
"You go to this school, don't you?" I responded with nothing but a nod, and he continued to speak, "Well.. I'm a bit lost. I just came here today, and I didn't really get a proper tour of the school. I was wondering if you could show me around to my classes, if you don't mind. I'm Junhui, but you can call me Jun." He finished.
I thought about it for a moment. That would mean.. I'd have to wait longer.. But I guess it shouldn't be too much of a hassle. It's not like it's going to change anything anyways.
"Yeah, sure.. I'm Y/n. Where do you need to be first?" I asked.
He paused for a moment, before he seemed to have had a lightbulb come on in his head.
"..Mrs. Ryu..? I think.." He said.
I don't know why, but I really felt sorry for him.. He seemed lost. Like severely lost. I inaudibly sighed, looking past him at that hell of a school.
"..Yeah. Just come with me. I'll take you to her class.." I said, before walking towards the school with Jun.
It was silent, no conversation between us since we left. But Jun still looked confused. I only knew because I glanced at him every so often to make sure he was still following me. He looked like he had something on his mind.
"Y/n..What were you doing at that bridge?" He asked out of nowhere as we were going up the steps, causing me to come to a sudden stop.
I went silent, biting my lip and cursing to myself.
"A lot of people go there in the mornings. You just happened to come by when everyone else had already left besides me." I lied, trying to not make it obvious what was really happening. (Although it would've been difficult to really know what I was doing.)
"Oh..I can see why. It must be quiet and peaceful over there when you're by yourself." He said.
"Yeah..You're right." I said, thinking about all the time I spent at that bridge.
We continued walking up the stairs, until we got to the next level of school. We eventually made it to the classroom without speaking to each other anymore. I said a quick goodbye before walking off, trying my best to get back downstairs and outside.
Then the bell rang.
Oh shoot.. Now I have to go to class or I'll get caught..
I groaned, turning around and going back to my own classroom. I didn't want to go at all.. But now I guess I don't have a choice.
- ☁️ -
The bell rang for us to go to lunch. I got up, immediately walking out of the classroom and trying to go outside as fast as I could. I could feel my heart beating, and my head felt clouded.
I got to the point where I started walking slow without realizing it. I feel like I'm supposed to be waiting for something right now..
I felt a tap on my shoulder, making me jump slightly and freeze in my tracks. I turned around to see Jun behind me.
"Hey, Y/n.. I was wondering if I could go to lunch with you. I don't want to seem weird and clingy but you're the only person I've talked to and everyone else seems so.. I don't know.. off, maybe?" He said, trying to find the right words.
I almost groaned out loud, because once again, Jun is stopping me. I can't really blame him though. He doesn't know what I'm trying to do and he just doesn't want to be by himself..
"Um..I mean, I guess..? I'm not eating lunch so I was just going to go outside." I said, and his eyes slightly lit up.
"I wasn't really planning on eating either. So we can go out there together if you want." He said with a smile.
I smiled to myself. I know he's only saying that so he won't be by himself, considering he doesn't even really know me. But..Maybe it'll be nice to spend time with someone. It's not going to change anything, but it's nice to talk to someone sometimes..
I just hope he's not too disappointed in me after today.
"Yeah, come on. We'll go on the bridge, just be careful where you step." I said, and he nodded.
We walked outside, walking over to the bridge and carefully making our way to the middle of it. As we came to a stop. I looked over it. I looked at the rushing water over those rocks. Then I looked up, at the beautiful scenery past where I usually look. I had always wanted to go over there.. It seemed so nice and pretty, while the rocks were all jagged and ugly. But the rocks are all I ever seemed to look at.
I felt any happy expression that was on my face disappear, and Jun looked down where I was looking.
"Huh.. Those rocks look dangerous. Why are you looking at them though? They are nicer things.." He said with confusion in his voice.
"Sometimes I feel like those rocks are the only thing I can look at, they're so mesmerizing to look down on.." I said.
Jun cleared his throat, his arm resting on the railing brushing slightly against mine.
"Y/n..When you're with me, I only want to see you look at the beautiful things...So look at me why don't you?" He said, the last part in a smartass tone, causing me to snort.
Oh my god, how attractive of me.
Jun looked at me as if he was completely serious, trying his best to keep a straight face. I was trying not to laugh at him, but that was so sudden I just couldn't help myself.
"Ah..That was funny. I haven't laughed like that in a while." I said after my previous laughter had died down.
"Really? Did I really make you laugh that much?" He said in a surprised tone, and I nodded, a smile still across my face.
"Yeah.. Thanks. I really needed that today. Do you want to go back inside? It's getting really chilly since the winds picked up." I said.
"Yes, I'm kind of freezing.." He said, turning around.
We walked back to the school together, Jun cracking a few lame jokes and I couldn't help but to laugh at them. I haven't laughed or smiled with a person for a while. I guess it's nice..
This is kinda how things went for the next few weeks. Me and Jun spent most of our time together. Talking before school, in between our classes, and always walking to the bridge during lunch.
Until one day, I had a bad mental breakdown. I felt like I didn't deserve Jun.. He's a good friend to me, and I feel like I don't deserve his friendship.
So that day, I got to school extra early. I walked over to the bridge where me and Jun now usually came to in the mornings, and I looked over the railing.
The water was rushing fast today. I lied my head on my arms, watching and hearing the violent water crash against the rocks.
I stayed like that for a few minutes, taking a bit to think about all the good things that had happened these past few weeks for that one rush of happiness.
It was all Jun. He was the only person that was making me happy. Even will all his lame jokes and cocky expressions, his presence was enough to make me happy.
I stepped up and sat on the railing, my legs dangling over it. I sat there, feeling adrenaline take over my body and mind. It felt like all the noise and things happening around me were blocked out.
I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking about Jun one last time before slowly sliding off of the railing.
Before I completely slipped off, a pair of arms wrapped around me and pulled me back. My eyes shot open, and I grabbed onto the arms of whoever that is. I was scared now, because I have no idea who that could be.
I started breathing heavy, my heart beating fast.
"Y/n..I..I couldn't let myself watch you do that.." I heard a familiar voice say.
I turned my head, seeing Jun there with tears in his eyes.
Seeing him like that made me tear up myself, but I didn't really cry.
"J-Jun.. I'm sorry.. I didn't want you to be here to see that." I said, turning my head back.
"No..! I'm glad I came faster than I usually do. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten here in time.. Listen to me, Y/n," he said, turning me towards him and putting on a serious tone, "We haven't known each other for long.. But I really care about you. You wouldn't understand, because it's probably weird. I've had so much fun with you.. Y/n.. I really love you. So please.. Stay here for me." He said, the tears not being able to stay in his eyes anymore.
I quickly pulled Jun into a hug, soaking his shoulder with my tears.
"Don't worry.. I will."
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a/n
YAY AN IMAGINE even tho it's only been two days since I last posted one bUT YAY IM INSPIRED-
I will also be posting a Wonwoo one sooner or later.. Finally. I barely write for Hip Hop unit I'm sorryyyy
That'll be all, hope you enjoyed! (Again, sorry for making it dark whoops)