SAGE.
Oliver was acting weird, strange and almost a little distant.
I tried to talk but he wasn’t in the mood to talk, in the end I just sat there eating dinner quietly and reading a magazine on celebrity gossip. That could always cheer me up.
Sighing, I looked back over at Ollie and he was sitting in the chair with his eyes closed. He opened one eyes and looked at me. “You’re staring,” he said.
“What’s wrong? Are you mad with me or something?” I asked, confused by the shift in his mood when he came back with dinner.
Oliver’s hand reached out and he pulled me up and over to sit on his lap. “No baby, I’m not mad at you. I could never be, I’m just tired and stressed. I hate waiting, I want her to wake up so we can leave this fucking hospital.”
“I know, me too,” I said quietly as I leant my head down against his chest.
His heart thumping loudly, I sat up and looked at him again. Leaning forwards I kissed him and wrapped my arms around his neck. How we weren’t out of the honeymoon faze was beyond me, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
“What was you like growing up?” I asked, placing low kisses against the stubble of his jawline.
His arms slid down over my ass, and he pulled me against him. “I was smart, focused and loved to play sports.”
“Did you have a lot of girlfriends?” I asked, getting to my main point.
Oliver chuckled, the grumble vibrating off his chest. “Jealous baby?”
“Absolutely,” I pulled back with a grin. I wasn’t really, but it was cute to see the smug smile over his face.
“I didn’t have many at all. None compare to what I feel about you, I think I went through the hell to get to you,” he whispered.
Tears filled my eyes and I smiled, “I’m not going anywhere, I’m all yours.” I was so happy right now as I leant closer and pressed my mouth against his.
Meadow hadn’t made any new progress. That was the devastating part, each day we’d sit and stare. Hoping to find any type of sign that she’d be improving, and yet there was nothing. My hopes were starting to fade.
When I looked back at Oliver, he was looking lost in his own little world again. Something was up, and I wanted to know what. “Ollie,” I said quietly.
He raised his brows, “Hmm?”
“What are you not telling me?” I asked hesitantly. I was nervous to hear the answer.
Swallowing, he uttered the words I never expected to hear. “I went to see Amy.”
My mouth dried up. I went to get off his lap but he held me down and tightly, I struggled. “Tell me you’re kidding, how could you do that?” I asked angrily.
“Sage, I had to see what she wanted. She wrote, and I went. I know, it was fucking stupid alright,” he muttered, looking dissatisfied with himself.
“You got that right, you should have told me. God sakes, what if something happened to you? What if she hurt you or worse?” The thought of her taking Oliver away from me broke me in half. I couldn’t cope and I sure as hell wouldn’t have been able to deal with that pain on top of everything else.
Oliver sighed, “I’m sorry.”
“What did she want?” I asked quietly, not sure if I wanted to know the answer to this question.
He paused a moment, just sitting there and thinking it over before he spoke. His fingers loosened on my skin and he kissed my cheek gently. “Me. She wants her and I back together.”
He wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t leave me again, especially now. “Ollie,” I said, my voice breaking.
“I love you, just let me hold you. Let me love you like this Sage, it’s all I can do right now,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.
Then I knew, I knew his answer and it broke my heart.
Waking up when the door creaked open, I kept my eyes closed as Oliver spoke. “She’s asleep,” he said softly.
“I can come back, I don’t want to interrupt,” my sister’s voice came through the room. “Do you want a coffee?”
Oliver’s body moved but he didn’t speak, he just kept me to his chest. Stroking his fingertips down my back and then up again. He and I had slept in the recliner chair, not very comfortable but snuggled against him was all I wanted. To be near if our daughter woke.
“Sweetheart,” his voice whispered beside my ear, brushing his lips softly over the skin.
I clung to him tighter, not letting go. “No,” I said quite calmly.
“Cassie is here, she’s coming back to see you. I’ll go have a smoke outside, I just need to walk about a bit,” he said, kissing my skin again.
Sitting up, I cupped his cheek. He hadn’t shaved in weeks and I was beginning to love his scruff. He was sexy and intense to look at. I hadn’t ignored the way some of the nurses googled over him as they done their daily rounds. Oliver didn’t take notice, only holding my hand and making it known that I were his and he were mine.
We were together. For now.
Oliver reached the door and I suddenly felt panicked. “You’ll come back, right?” I asked, trying to hold my tears back.
He walked towards me and slid his arm around my back and pulled me flush to his chest. “Of course I will be back. I’ll get you something from the bakery,” he winked and then kissed me gently. Igniting a spark of desire burning through my skin. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I replied, not wanting to lose this moment with him.
Oliver left and I sunk back in the chair where we laid moment ago. Picking up my needle and thread, I began to go over the design on how to sew. It was confusing but I was starting to get there, I couldn’t wait until I had finished it.
Cassie walked in and closed the door. She looked a mess, her eyes red and blotchy. My guess, she’d just had words with Oliver.
“Sage,” she said quietly as she walked over to Meadow and looked down at her small body with wires and tubes coming out everywhere still. Her hand covered her mouth as she held in her tears. “I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I swear, I didn’t mean to offend you. I wouldn’t try and hurt you that way.”
“But you did,” I said softly. “Suggesting we turn her support off after twelve hours, how could you say that Cass? She’s my daughter and I wouldn’t dare say something like that to you if you were in this situation.”
Tears were running down both our cheeks. I couldn’t not cry, the thought of saying a final goodbye to Meadow was utterly heartbreaking. Sitting the needle and thread down, I cried more. Bringing my knees up, I curled my arms around them as I sobbed my heart out.
A hand and then a set of arms wrapped around me, pulling me into her chest. My sister kissed my forehead and stroked my hair, “She will wake up. I know it.”
“What if she doesn’t?” I asked, sadly.
“She has the two best parents ever, they love her and show her strength, I promise everything will be ok. We’re all here for you,” she assured me.
Having my sister here, a weight was lifted from my shoulders but the heaviness in my chest were still there. The thought of Oliver agreeing to do something reckless and stupid. I needed to talk to him when he was back here.
Finally, I was able to bring myself to ask about Cassie’s pregnancy, she and Tony were eight weeks along. Hesitant to tell me at first, I promised here that I wanted to know all about my little niece and Meadow’s cousin.
When Oliver finally came back in he was wearing a bright smile and handed over a paper bag filled with mixed lollies, something I had taken to eating most days. The candy was going to rot my teeth, but they tasted too good to care about that.
“So, I spoke with the doctor. He wants to put her in another room, with other children,” Oliver said and his smiled faded. “I said no.”
“Ok, is that what you think is best?” I asked him as Cassie walked over to her and began to brush her hair.
Oliver nodded, “Yes, I don’t want her in a room with other children who are ill. The doctor made some remark about the costing being heavy, which isn’t even on my mind. I don’t care how much this costs, she’s staying in here.”
“Ollie, are we able to afford this?” I asked softly, I knew having her in here each day wasn’t cheap. It was expensive as hell.
He just nodded. “I’ve got it covered, don’t worry about a thing. How’s work going? You thought any more about hiring someone?” he asked me.
I had done, but I wasn’t sure. The business had been closed ever since Meadow had been admitted. Working was far from my mind, my parents of course offered to help us out in any way possible but it wasn’t money I was after. I just didn’t want to be away from her and then she wakes, or worse.
“I’m going to hire someone, maybe in a couple weeks, when things settle down here,” I said reaching over and holding onto his hands. Giving them a squeeze. “What about you? Are you ok to be off work?”
“Dad’s got it covered and I have men that I pay to do things for me, don’t worry beauty. Now, hand over that bag, I want a black cat,” he grinned, digging through the bag in search for his own lollies to eat.
When the night began to fall, I had a visit from the man who pissed Oliver off more than once. Daniel.
Striding in with a blank stare, he looked and realised I was alone. A small smile formed over his lips, “Hey,” he said softly.
I smiled nervously back, “Hi, how are you?” I asked him.
He gave me a look that said, really? You’re asking me how I am. He took a seat beside me and reached my hand. “I’m good. Now, how are you doing?”
“Not good,” I admitted.
It was the truth. I wasn’t doing well at all. Everything was turning to shit and I knew it was only a matter of time before Oliver left.
Dan sighed, “Sweetheart. Have you eaten?”
“No, I’m not that hungry. I’m just tired,” I said. The days here were getting longer and my ass was aching from sitting in the chair most the day.
He chuckled, giving my thigh a rub. “Still no news? I wanted to come sooner but thought I better give you both some space.”
My eyes wandered over his face, a faint bruise forming near his eye. “Did you get into a fight?” I asked.
Laughing, “You could say that. Just a rowdy guy at the bar.”
“What happened, tell me some gossip. I don’t know anything except about celebrity gossip at the moment,” I laughed, he knew everything so he’d have to know what’s going on around town.
“Nah, pretty boring. I was drinking, a guy just got into a fight and his elbow connected with my eye, all an accident.” He said. Something changing over his face, he was lying to me. Daniel forgot that I knew when he lied, it was how I found out about him having sex with that woman he apparently didn’t sleep with.
To Daniels dismay, Oliver walked in and narrowed his eyes but he didn’t say anything. He sat down and picked up one of my trashy magazines. Giving me a wink as Daniel looked ready to start sweating. What was going on with them? Were they having some type of pissing contest that I didn’t know about?
Lifting his arm, he checked his watch and sighed. “I need to go, I just wanted to come and say I was thinking about you. If you need anything, you have my number,” he leant forward and pressed his lips to my cheek.
Oliver’s jaw hardened as he stared daggers into his skull. I loved that he could get as jealous as I could sometimes.
As soon as the door closed, Oliver was up on his feet and crushing his mouth against mine. “You’re mine Sage. Never forget that.”
I moaned, “I won’t,” I whimpered as his tongue darted into my mouth. His hands holding me tightly as he sucked on my lower lip, biting down. I grabbed his ass and pushed myself into him. We had a bathroom connected to the room and that’s where Oliver was leading me to. His cock bursting at the seam on his zipper, ready to get out and take me hard and needily.
As I cleaned myself up, I noticed something on the floor than had fallen from his pocket. His phone.
I shouldn’t, but I didn’t care. Making sure the door was locked, my fingers shakily unlocked his screen. Smiling as I seen the photo of Oliver, myself and Meadow all laid up in bed as his background.
Pushing the button on his phone to the read the text messages, I seen one number that wasn’t saved and my insides churned. Her messages to him.
And then I read all his replies.
Reading them, one by one I felt my heart break all over again.
OLIVER.
Sage walked out from the bathroom and kept her eyes diverted from mine, the mood had shifted greatly, and the air was cooler and tense. She was stiffer, more aware and normally after a quick fuck we were still all over each other. Not now, she was distant and pulling away just as I had been doing.
Handing something over, I looked at her palm then realised it was my phone. “Here, you dropped it,” she said quietly, shoving it into my hand.
Instantly, I knew. She knew.
“Sage,” I said standing, it didn’t bother me the slightest that she had gone through my messages. I didn’t care, I didn’t want to hide this from her.
But I did hide it from her, I lied to her and kept it hidden. I fucked up, there was a need to explain, to tell her that what I said meant nothing but I couldn’t. A part of me wanted to hurt her and push away before she was hurt even more, more than I could ever handle.
“I’m just going to lay down, can you hold me. I just want you to hold me,” she asked, her voice cracking and she sniffed loudly, wiping an arm over her face I noticed her eyes watering.
Up in an instant, I sat down and pulled her down on my lap, my hand on the lever to pull the chair into reline position. “Baby, you don’t have to ask me to hold you.”
She sighed. “Do you love me? Really love me Ollie?” Her voice was breaking as she started to cry. “I don’t understand, am I not enough for you?”
“I love you more than anything, you’re impossible not to love baby,” I said, smiling as I pulled her head back. Laying her down against my chest, I kissed the top of her head and pulled the blanket up over her body, keeping her warm.
When she fell asleep, regret filled me.
How could I do this to her, to us?
I was pushing her away, I was going to hurt her badly and I didn’t know if we could ever come back from this. She was going to hate me, blame me and never talk to me again.
For some reason, the only reason. It was the only way I knew how to save her and my daughter from any further pain. Amy had threatened them, threatened my girlfriend by telling me as I stood with her in the park, there was a man in the room pretending to be a doctor, and he could easily kill my daughter for good then hurt the woman I love with a single shot in the head.
Quick and quiet, no one would know a thing.
That’s when I agreed to come back to her. I practically screamed it at her, shouting.
The messages, I had to play along and tell a woman I despised with everything that I loved her and couldn’t wait to see her. The messages Sage had read, said I couldn’t wait to feel her body against mine again.
It was a wonder she were still here, on my lap and holding me tightly and telling me that she still loved me. I didn’t deserve her.
I felt like the biggest asshole. I was no better than Daniel, but I hoped she’d understand.
That I was doing this for her. For them. To protect them.
My brother was the only one who knew what was happening. My lawyer also, he hated this idea but it was the only way Amy would be known for who she really were. A cold hearted monster. He had everything drawn up in case something happened, she was getting it all. The house, money and anything else I owned if I wasn’t around for Sage and Meadow anymore. I hated that thought, that I wouldn’t be able to give her more children liked we had both wanted.
Fuck I would give anything for her to be carrying my child again, I wanted to watch her grow and to be there for all the mood swings, to be told there was no sex tonight or woken up in the middle of the night for a food run, making something insane like bacon and maple syrup which Sage told me she craved badly while pregnant with Meadow.
I wanted to do all that.
I wanted to marry her, I loved her so much that I would marry her just to make her completely mine. I’d do it tonight at the church in the hospital, but that would be selfish of me. Leaving her married to me, expecting her to stay faithful and wait for fuck knows how long while I went back to my ex-wife.
Pretending to be happy was all I could do.
I was going to fake it.
Amy thought she had me wrapped around her fingers again. Little did she know that I had a plan of my own. Live or die, I would get my revenge on her.
I would make her pay, and suffer.
Revenge is all I wanted. It was all I needed, it drove me to make it through until the next day.
Sage stirred in her sleep and I rocked her gently. She was too good for a man like me, but again I was a selfish bastard. I couldn’t let her go. Daniel wasn’t a threat anymore, she figured out his lies again tonight. Good thing, it was one less thing I had to worry about while I was gone.
There was no idea how long this would take.
The next morning, I was going to break her heart and regret it every single second for the rest of my life. I had to do this, to protect them.
I could tell her sure, but she’d want to help me and this was something I couldn’t have her mixed up in. I needed her to be here without daughter and taking care of her for me. The thought of Sage being anywhere near Amy broke my heart, I knew what Amy would do. She’d kill her.
She wouldn’t hesitate to kill her.
When I woke my body felt lighter, I jerked up slightly panicked when I didn’t see Sage anywhere. Vile rising in my throat. I hadn’t wanted to fall asleep, I wanted to look at her all night and hold her closely.
I got up and walked over to my daughter and kissed her forehead, “Morning princess,” I whispered. “I just want you to know, that daddy loves you so much and he always will. I need you to get better and wake up for mummy, can you do that baby. Please just wake up and make sure you take care of mummy for me, never forget that daddy loved you both so much.”
Sage walked out from the bathroom and gave me a sleepy smile, “Do you want to go to my parents for a little bit? I’d like to just go home for a bit. Tony and Cassie are on their way here, to watch her for us.”
Home. That was the place I had brought for us, not her parent’s house.
I nodded slowly, my eyes stuck on hers. She deserved at least this. “We’ll leave as soon as they get here.”
I drove us to her place at her parents. They were both at work, the rain outside heaving down as we ran to the door on her room. Lost in the moment of her white shirt clinging to her body, I spun her around and pushed her against the door. Her lips parted and hair a damp mess from the rain, I leant forward and kissed her.
She’s told me being kissed in the rain was a fantasy, the most romantic thing possible and I couldn’t think of being anything less of romantic right now. I wanted to make this moment last.
Her hands sliding up my sides as our tongues divulged in each others, I flexed my hips against her body and reached around her, cupping her ass and then gripping her tightly. Lifting her up, she wrapped her legs around me as I got the door unlocked.
The power was out, candles were now lit up around the bathroom as we lay in the large tub, her body laying down over mine as I rubbed her shoulders soothingly. Her body starting to relax even more. I wanted her to be relaxed and loved. I had stripped her naked and kissed every inch of her body. No skin left not kissed and make love to with my mouth.
No sounds except the water around us, Sage’s body straddling mine. I held her soft skin flush to mine, my fingertips grazing up her back to her shoulders where my breathing became heavier. Her eyes staring down into mine, burning into my soul as I pushed her slowly down and filled her completely.
A loud breathy moan coming from her lips as I claimed them again. Her mouth softly responding as every hair on my body stood upright.
I never believed people when they say you could make love, I didn’t see the difference to that than fucking. Maybe I had never felt anything other than just the pleasure going to my cock to notice. That had never happened with Sage, each and everytime I felt it. The pounding in my chest, the squeezing of my heart. I loved her, and I felt her love right back with each slow moment.
I could have her fucked and spent easily, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I needed her to feel the pleasure she gave to me. Even with just a look, a smile. She made my life different and I didn’t want to lose that.
Her hand reached up and rubbed underneath my eye. “You’re crying,” she murmured as I kept the steady pace against her.
“So are you,” I whispered back. Bending down to kiss her tears away.
Her hair splayed out in the pillow as her legs slid up mine, locking me in tighter. Our bodies moved in sync, knowing what the other needs, automatically adjusting.
I had come inside her, but didn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop no matter how tender the head of my cock was right now, I just needed to keep her closely. She was made for me, to fit me.
Our mouths crashing as the breathing became hard and ragged. Her hips moved upright to meet my thrusts, her moans growing as she trembled underneath me. Pushing my pubic bone against her, rubbing quicker until she was panting and crying out loudly. Tightening and spasm around me, I ignored that all too familiar sensation to unload again and just focused on her. I wanted her to come and come until she was exhausted.
I’d make love to her until she felt all the love from me possible.
“You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, placing feathery kisses to her skin.
“Mm,” she mumbled sleepily. “I love you Oliver.”
I was glad she couldn’t see my eyes right now, or feel the pain in my chest. She held my heart in her hands and until she let it go, I was hers.
Blinking back my emotions and swallowing, I kissed her temple. “I love you more Sage.”
“I don’t want you to leave,” she whispered. “Please, whatever you’re going to do, don’t do it.”
Shit. Not what I wanted to talk about. “Baby, I love you, I will always love you. Remember that ok.”
Her body began to shake and I soon felt the warm tears against my chest. Holding her tighter, I cupped her cheeks as I pushed her against her back. Her tears shouldn’t have made me hard, but they did. I kept my eyes on hers as she cried and moved into her.
“Feel this Sage,” I groaned softly. “You feel it don’t you? the love?” I asked as I stayed still.
Not daring to move, I was rock hard inside her as she gripped me firmly, the feeling of her velvet warmth enough to make me come on my own. “I feel you Oliver, god I love you so much. Just love me, don’t stop.”
“Never baby, I’ll never stop loving you,” I growled huskily over her mouth as I went from slow love making, to hard passionate lovemaking.
Slipping out from the bed, I went to the living room where my clothes were tossed. Still raining, Sage had fallen asleep in my arms after we spent most the morning making love and holding each other.
I sat down at the counter and rubbed my temples. She was right, I didn’t have to do this.
No one was forcing it on me, except the woman who tried to take out my daughter.
This was all me, this was plan. The big build up that would finally come to an end.
Grabbing a piece of paper, I scribbled a note and went back into the bedroom. I pulled the covers up over her body more and lent down, placing a kiss against her soft pink lips. Trying my utter hardest not to fall to my knees and cry. I blinked back the tears and stood up.
Placing the note to the pillow beside her, I turned around and walked out the door. I didn’t need a car. I called a cab and gave him the directions to where I was headed. The last time I had been here, shit went down.
The memories of Amy’s hell she put me though, the torture and abuse.
I was strong enough not to fall into the weak man again. I was. I knew it.
God, I hoped this would work out the way I had it played out in my mind. I silenced my phone and slid it in my jean pocket. Amy was going to think all was forgiven, that I was here to made amends and fix what I apparently fucked up and left.
Bile rising in my throat as I stared at the white door. Trying not to retch as I forced myself to walk forwards and make this happen. Keeping myself from turning and running back to the woman I wanted to be with, the woman I had left moments ago in a note.
How fucking coward I was, I couldn’t even say it to her face.
Amy knew I was out here, she’d probably be watching for all I knew.
My hand lifted and I knocked twice on the door, hard so she would hear through the rain. Within two seconds the door swung open and there stood Amy on the other side. Looking the same as last night when I had left her.
“I’m glad you’re home,” she said with a growing smile. “Come in, it’s freezing out there.”
I could have laughed, yeah it’s nothing to what a cold hearted bitch you’ve been. Instead I just nodded, and stepped inside the house.
This was all going to end. One way, or another. This was going to be the last time she hurt my family and definitely the last time she hurt me.
Revenge. It’s what it all came down to and sure as fuck, I was ready for it.