Khushi has gone up to the room after her parents left. He has talked to the lawyer and officers and sent them back thanking for their help. The state of his mind was in a mess. He didn't know how and what would he talk to her now that she was back and has stayed back too. For what reason? That was the major question mark which was giving him shudders as if something major was going to happen which would shake the boundaries of his being.
As he was going to go upstairs in his room Shyam stopped him.
"Do you have any idea why Khushi has stayed." He asked Arnav.
"No idea." He chuckled without any mirth.
"Then get ready Arnav. Your major penance is going to start now because as far as I had read her demeanor and as far as I know her she isn't the one to back off from giving back what she got in her own way. I know she loved you once without any limit. But when someone hurts her self respect she never leave him without showing him his rightful place when she knows that the fault wasn't hers to begin with to deserve that kind of treatment."
Arnav stared at him in confusion.
"Actually when we were studying together in law college then a guy has played prank on her which has embarrassed her before the whole college and then what she did to him was what no one forgot till date. Whenever any of the college colleagues meet that incident is discussed must between us."
"What did she do to him?"
Shyam laughed. "That was hilarious to say the least but really shameful for that guy.Next day firstly she has beaten him with her sandal and then she spread the glue on his seat. He sat on it alright but when he got up then--" Shyam smirked not finishing his sentence as it was obvious.
Arnav's eyes widened.
Suddenly Shyam turned serious.
"But be careful Arnav. Neither you played a silly harmless prank on her nor did you embarrassed her before everyone. Instead you practically ruined her life and that's no joke or prank. So prepare yourself for the worst." He was about to leave when his next words stopped him.
"She will leave me after getting what she wants. For which she has stayed back."
"What for?"
"I don't know." Arnav swallowed.
"Then get to know it."
"I am scared Shyam."
"You should be." He said strictly. "After all she lived six months in fear too. Fear of losing you. Now it's your turn. But again I would say be careful. This fear can take your breath away too like you tried to take hers."
"Can't you encourage me? You are practically freaking me out."
"Either I encourage you or discourage doesn't matter as she would leave you anyway. So its better that you face the reality rather than getting your hopes high by tempting illusions."
Arnav's breath caught up in his throat at his blunt words.
"Isn't there any way which could stop her from leaving? I mean I am ready to bear anything which she would throw my way but I just want an assurance that she won't leave at the end of it."
"Why she shouldn't leave you?"
"Because I love her dammit." He said out loud.
"No you don't. It's your guilt maybe. I know I never stopped you till now whenever you said that you love her. It was because you were too messed up but it's time you come to terms with your true feelings for her because if you've loved her truly then she wouldn't have been this broken and certainly you wouldn't be fearing of her leaving you. Open your eyes now and see for yourself of what you've actually done to yours and her life."
"I lo--"
"No you don't Arnav. Don't say that when you're not sure yourself. When you'll be then I won't have to say this too that you don't love her because I would see the love in your eyes. Right now there is so much guilt in them that even if you do have feelings for her they aren't much visible."
Arnav nodded dazed and climbed up a stair when Shyam said something which pricked him to the core.
"Anjali is at fault I know. But the way you're behaving with her doesn't suit you. At least be courteous to her otherwise you may lose all of those relations who really care for you. You lost Khushi. Now you want to lose your sister too?"
"But she doubted you. How can you take her side when due to her stupidity you lost your child?"
Shyam closed his eyes in pain before opening them and looked firmly in his.
"I know what she did. I know what I lost. But I am not that stupid like you to go to extreme lengths to get back at her. I know our relation won't be the same anymore but that doesn't mean I would let her be alone. Despite everything she still is my wife. And the love of my life.I don't have the courage to break our relation. I think that's what love does to a man. That's why I am saying that if you have truly loved her you wouldn't have been able to hurt her or see her in pain even if she was at fault in your eyes. One tear from her eyes could've burned your heart had you truly felt for her." He sighed.
"Me and Dadi are leaving in an hour back to Jha mansion. Just wanted to tell you before leaving."
"Not taking her with you?"
"Should I? Because of her one innocent's life has been ruined without any fault of hers. I need time to get to terms with it because I too am somewhat responsible in this whole fiasco. Let the time decide for our future. Right now I am not in a mood or condition to make any decision for us."
Anjali started sobbing silently.She has heard their whole conversation standing at the door of her room. What has she done in her stupidity? She has ruined so many lives because of her one doubt.
As he stood outside his...their room he didn't know how will he face her.He was getting apprehensive.But he knew he has to face her to get to know the answers which were making him restless that why she stayed back when she should have left a bastard like him? What did she say to her father that he left her with him?
His gaze fell on the bed as soon as he entered closing the door behind him.It was empty.He would have panicked if the washroom's room hasn't opened and she hadn't appeared from behind it drying her hairs.
"Oh so you have finally decided to grace me with your presence?" she said placing the towel on the recliner.
"I.." he cleared his throat as her scent hit his nostrils making his breath hitch in his throat.
"What is the time?"
"11:30am." He whispered.
"Then what are you doing at home at this time? Shouldn't you be in your office working your ass off?" She said casually standing before him now folding her hands under her breasts.
"I have started working from home for quite a while now?"
"Why?"
"You weren't well. I..just wanted to take care of you.." he said in a small voice feeling choked with emotions.
"Why so? When all this happened because of you." She said calmly.
"I know..that's why I.."
"You wanted to mend me? Heal me?" She stepped closer till she was breathing on his face.
Arnav started breathing heavily and his hands clenched at his side in self restraint.
"Kh...ushi. Wh-at?"
"You want to heal me right?" She murmured against his lips pulling him more closer by clutching his collars.
"Ha..n (Yes)" he choked as his eyes filled up.
"Then fuck me like you did every night during our marriage." She said seductively brushing her lips with his.
He turned stone at her demand and more so at her touch on his lips.
Knots formed in his throat as it turned dry "Don't...please." he rasped.
"What? Am I not desirable enough anymore? Got bored of me hubby?" She pouted wrapping her hands around his neck.
"No no its not like that.." he finally gathered his courage and cupped her cheeks lightly."You are and will be the most beautiful woman for me on this world."
"Then what is stopping you? Show me how much I make you feel!" She nudged her nose with his.He gulped.
"Khushi.. I..can't.." he croaked.
"Why baby?" she placed a kiss on his chin.
"Please.." he pleaded as his vision blurred with tears."Don't do this...It's hurting."
"Hurting? But i want to pleasure you. Tell me how to do it."
"Aren't you angry on me?" he asked suddenly feeling suffocating with the way her eyes were accusing him but she wasn't saying a word to ease off her burden, in return increasing his. It all crushed down his heart.
"Angry, yes i am.But i have a solution for my pain."
"Let it out. Hit me, beat me...but don't act like this. It's killing me already." He pressed his hands on her cheeks cupping it more tightly, aggressively as if the pressure would make her blurt out her pain.
"You didn't ask me what is the solution of my pain." She remained unfazed with his pleads.
"Wh..at is it?" He murmured as her closeness made his heart ache.She was standing too close to him, that much close that they both were literally glued to each other their breaths were fanning the other while each part of their front was touching intimately. But he knew how far she actually was from him that he couldn't get to her with even his pleadings or guilt.His gaze fell on a red mark at her neck and how it got there he knew the reason too.
It was all because of him.How much he has hurt her physically came back to haunt him, how he never let the bite marks fade away from her skin was wrenching his heart now.
"Be with me like you were during those six months. Enjoy me every night and stay in office at day time.That's the only way you can heal me."
He was stumped at her demand.
"Are you out of your mind?" He gritted out.
"What's the problem in it? You did it before. Why not again? It shouldn't be difficult for you."
He removed her hands away from his neck and stepped away as if her touch would burn him, scorch him.
"I WAS A FOOL THEN!" He growled rubbing the moisture off his eyes before facing her again "I know I did wrong Khushi.I ruined you without any fault of yours. I am sorry." He whispered at the end touching her shoulders lightly, cautiously.
"Okay think that yes I did seduce your brother in law. I did try to ruin your Di's life. Think like that and it will be easy." She shrugged her shoulders.
"Rubbish. Shut up!" he pushed her away now feeling angry at her.
"Agree to my demand. Otherwise i will make that misunderstanding true. I will go and seduce someone's brother in law and ruin someone's Di's life." She stated firmly, threatening him.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SAYING?" Arnav was enraged at her blatant words and threats.He looked her in her eyes and said firmly.
"Don't you dare!"
She smirked "I can. Wanna see?"
"Tum ye sab kyun kar rahi ho?(Why are you doing this?) Why do you want me to hurt you...again?" He asked helplessly seeing her adamant on her words.
"Because I love getting hurt by you. Maybe" She shrugged.
"No way I am going to hurt you again. I have done enough damage to you. I can't do it again. Please don't ask me anything like that." He rubbed his forehead feeling a headache coming.
He opened his eyes as he felt her hugging him from the back.Angrily he tried to remove her hands off his chest but she caught on his shirt tightly.
"Khushi what the hell do you think you are doing?" He ground his teeth looking at her over his shoulder.
She kissed his shoulder over his shirt.With one swift motion he twirled her around and backed her against the wall locking her hands at her back.
"Don't make me tie you down to that bed again. Don't you dare provoke me." The way she wanted him to humiliate her was messing with his mind which made him react this way.
She smiled mysteriously.
"There it is. The true ASR! I was missing him. Just like this. I want you to behave and handle me just like this. Roughly and painfully!"
He slackened his hold on her and closed his eyes touching his forehead with hers.
"Don't do this...please. Give me a chance. Don't hurt yourself like this. Share it with me. Shout at me Khushi. Shout at me!" He choked cupping her nape firmly."Trust me a bit.Please?"
"Trust?" She snapped at the word. Her mask has slipped and he didn't give her a time to recover from it as he wanted her to lash out at him and for that the broken Khushi has to come out to let it out, let her pain out.
"Yes.Trust. Trust me." He stared into her eyes from where the mask of indifference was gone and he saw the broken woman who has been shattered by him.
"Trust you? YOU?" she sneered and smiled mockingly.He swallowed.
Then she turned serious.
"I will trust you if you'll do something for me."
He ran his fingers in her hairs in a soothing manner.
"Give me my Rahul back." She asked in a plea."Please will you?"
He didn't know her broke down would disarm him like this but now as she stood before him without any facade of bravery he felt himself going into darkest pit of hell where fire was ready to consume him whole.
"I am sorry I can't bring him back but I can do anything .. else to make it better." He croaked.
"YOU CAN BRING HIM BACK! YOU CAN!" She clutched at his collars pulling him closer.
"You can!" She whispered with her eyes full of tears which tore at his heart.
"How?" He choked.
"Tell me how? I'll do it for you Khushi but don't be like this. Don't hurt yourself like this." He cupped the side of her cheek rubbing off her tears as they trickled down without a fail.
"Plant it again inside me. Make me pregnant again Arnavji. Please. I want my Rahul back. I want him back. I didn't even feel him completely and he died taking a major part of me with him.I want that back.I want to be whole again. Please bring him back. Make me whole!" His chest ripped apart as tears burned at the back of his eyelids as she sobbed against his chest pleading him to give her child back.
"Khushi please.." he kissed her head as she cried in his embrace.
"I can't do this. Please I don't have any right to touch you again. I am not worth it."
She looked up at him with her red eyes.
"Give me my child back and i swear I'll forgive you for everything you've ever done to me. I promise I will give you a chance too to rebuild our relationship. Just make it true. Give him back. Give him back." She fisted her hands on his shirt and shook him pleading him.
He cupped her cheeks feeling helpless.
"Khushi..."
Taking his hands she placed them on her chest making his eyes widen.
What the hell is she doing?
"Touch me. Touch me wherever you want. However you want. Play with my body.Do whatever pleases you.Take it away. Take everything away. Just give me my child. Give me my Rahul." She wailed and his own tears were let free onto his cheeks as he cried with her.
Her pain was so tangible that it pierced him made his inside clench.He was wrong when he thought that whatever she has decided would be the death of him because it was worst than death, it was hell in its truest form.Brought upon him by himself.As much as he tried he couldn't bring himself to fulfill her wish because he wasn't worth touching an angel, a pure soul. Not when he know how much he has wronged her, ruined her.
He turned around not being able to see her like this.She grabbed the back of his shirt stopping him from moving away.
"Tell me what you would like me to see in.I will wear it for you." She came around to face him and trailing her hands on his chest locked them around his neck.
Arnav felt himself going rigid.
He removed her hands away a bit harshly this time.
"I can't do this. I can't." He rasped rubbing his fingers on his eyes before wiping his face.
A few tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Why can't you?" She pushed him.
He staggered a step back but didn't say anything.He just wanted her to let it all out.Maybe that would make her see sense.
"When you played with my body for six months then why can't you do it for a bit more?" she gritted out again pushing him away. She looked like a mess with moist face full of tears and red eyes full of angst.
"I told you it was a mistake. I will touch you the day when I'll feel worthy of it and that isn't happening because I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you. Never. Someday years or decades from now if I suffered as much as you did then I might be able to bridge the gap I created between us. I may. But only if I'll suffer my punishment for the sins i committed.Not before that."
She turned hysterical the next minute as she started punching, pushing him away.She even slapped him many times.He took it all because he deserved much worse treatment from her.
"You will touch me today right this moment.You'll sleep with me abhi because you don't have any choice. Either you are giving me my child or I am going to get it by sleeping with any random man." She warned him hitting his nerve at the wrong spot.
"Are you out of your mind?" He yelled.
"What rubbish are you saying?"
"I said what you heard." She vigorously wiped her tears and looked him in the eye.
"Either agree to my demand and make me pregnant or I will get pregnant with someone else's child but i will get MY child back at any cost."
"KHUSHI!"
His hand stopped at mid air and he clenched it into a fist.He would've slapped her if he could but he can't not after hurting her so much already. The result of which was standing before him. He deserve that slap not her.
"What happened? Why did you stop? Slap me.It won't be a new thing for me." She mocked him.
He caught her elbow and pulled her closer.
"To punish me don't ruin yourself like this Khushi. You are not worth this pain. You deserve happiness not anguish."
"Give me my child back and I'll be happy. I'll forgive you with all my heart as well."
He looked at her face like really looked at her.
She looked like a broken mirror whose pieces no matter how much you try can't be put back in place.If that's what she wants then she would get it even if it meant he would die piece by piece by being that close to her but still he will remain away far away from her because only a miracle could happen to make her love him again or accept him back.
She stayed back for getting the baby and would leave him after she will get pregnant.
The thought seared his heart with sharp knifes.
Seeing the reluctant acceptance in his eyes she started taking her off her clothes when he stopped her.If he has to do it then he will show her his tender side not the rough aggressive one which he portrayed those six months.Today he'll make her feel how a man make love to his wife, his woman.
"I will do it myself." He whispered taking a step closer to her after pulling the curtains of the glass door together.
She stood before him stiffly as he towered over her petite form.Taking her hand in his large, rough one he placed a kiss at her palm and trailed his lips up her arm all the while caressing the other one till it reached her shoulders.
With exaggerated slowness he took her veil off and trailed kisses alongside her shoulders and collarbones.Cupping her nape softly he arched her head a bit to expose her throat before he kissed and sucked every part of it.
He opened his eyes and saw the red marks given by him.He paid extra attention to them as he sucked that part of her skin tenderly as if to heal it.His lips reached her chin and he sucked it too before looking at her closed eyes and trembling lips.He released his grip on her nape and cupped her cheeks softly. He placed his lips on her closed lids one by one before kissing her cheeks.
She shivered in his hold.It was her first ever reaction to his passionate kisses which pleased him.
He knew she was confused with his slowness and careful way of treating her and he wanted to please her not the other way around.He thought as he placed his lips on hers and kissed her like it was his first, their first.
Slow. Soft. Passionate.
Wrapping his arms around her lower back he plastered her to him and to his surprise she started kissing him back with the same eagerness.
She opened her eyes as their lips parted and he knew what was going on in her mind which made her respond to his kiss.
She was thinking that if she has to do it then might as well enjoy the torture of sleeping with the man she hates, detest more than anything.The knowledge pierced his being as he carried her up in his arms and brought her to the bed.
Lowering her on it he came on the top of her supporting his weight on his hands on either sides of her head.
He gazed at her red puffy face marred with tear drops for a minute before burying his head in her neck and kissing the hell out of her.
She moaned as he sucked her face off the tear stains.He removed his shirt and flipping her on her back kissed each and every scar on her skin before unhooking her blouse and untied her brassier with his lips.
She was lying on her stomach with only her petticoat on now.He swallowed painfully aware that these few days of union were going to last anyhow.
His eyes pricked with tears as he again made her lie on her back.Her bare chest became visible to his blurred vision.Biting back a sob he worshiped her assets with his lips and hands.Kissed and fondled until she was shivering, shuddering beneath him.
"This is just a start." He rasped hovering over her lips as she stared at him nonchalantly even though heat was shooting through her at the way he was loving her body.
The thought agitated her. But she has to bear it for she wants her baby. His baby!
"Get over with it already will you?" She whispered glaring at him.
He smiled sadly touching his forehead with hers as he took off the remaining piece of her clothing too.
In the mean time he came out of his pants not wanting her to feel that he was disrespecting her by being over-clothed.
She moaned as he touched the most sensitive part of her body.First with his hand and then his lips. He ate her up till she could do nothing but tremble asking him more and begging him not to stop.
He has never given her this pleasure when he slept with her in those nights.
All he did was pleasure himself and leave her.
Today he made her feel it. Real pleasure of love making.
Sweat beads formed on her body and his own too as he came up to her face and kissed her softly making her taste herself.
At the same time he drove inside her softly.She clenched her teeth as he moved inside her.
Her nails dug at his back scratching it due to the burning sensations.
He winced but didn't stop her.
She moaned out loud as they both reached the heights of pleasure and passion and he collapsed above her kissing her damp forehead.
He rolled on his side of the bed taking her with him and hugged her close to his chest covering them with a blanket.
He was breathing heavily on her neck when he felt a sudden push as she started wriggling in his hold.
"Move." She commanded in a fierce tone.
He loosened his arms around her.
She sat up and he closed his eyes in pain as her scarred skin came into his view again.
He has paid most attention to each and every scar he has given her so far whether it was due to the accident or his violent sex with her in those months by kissing them fervently. Soflty. Affectionately but those marks would take time to heal and so would she.
He thought as she shrugged into his shirt carelessly and his breath caught up in his throat with the way his shirt hung loosely around her.
It was oversize for her petite form but she looked breathtaking in it with her flushed cheeks glowing with after affects of their love making.
He swallowed as he felt like pulling her again for another round but he controlled the urge because he knew he should concentrate on her liking not his own from now on and for eternity.
Bang of the bathroom door cut his chain of thoughts as he looked tearfully at now closed door behind which she disappeared.
He knew it before too but today his fear got confirmed that she won't be the same anymore, he won't be the same anymore nor would they be.
In faslon ka ye faisla kyun dil ny maire kar liya...
Khud hi jaane kaisejiye ga ho k ye tumse juda..?
A storm was fast approaching them. A terrifying one at that which had the power to shake the foundation of their being. Most importantly his own. And it reached him three months later. With it not only did it take away his breaths but took her far and far away from him too.