I could barely identify it when it happened. It came in flashes in the middle of the night when I tried to sleep. Visions in my dreams left me with tear-stained cheeks. I didn't feel like closing my eyes for fear of being haunted by them, so I would stare at the stars that were always above my head.
Slowly, I would begin to fall asleep, just as the orange glow would taint the sky. But then the babies would start crying, and I would have to get up again to help John with all of his little children. The work was never forced upon me, but I always felt like it was the least I could do to pay him back for taking me in.
Every morning I got up and dressed in clothes too big or too small. There was only one valuable thing I owned - the long gloves that covered my arms from hands to elbow.
I cooked porridge for the seven children and myself, and then watched over the young ones all morning. It was only after lunch that I was able to do what I liked, and that was archery. It helped me focus, and it always gave me great pride to beat all of the outlaws' sons in contests.
It wasn't until I turned seventeen that things changed dramatically for me. I met Robin of Locksley for the second time; and with him came Will.
Will had taught me to shoot when I was nine. I was an orphan, and was hence teased by most of the other children. But he wasn't like them. He cared; he understood. He wasn't insensitive. I would like to blame that on the fact that he was two years older than all of us, but I knew that it was more than just maturity. He really was...Different.
Will was the only other man to change my life, and once he walked in, he never walked out.