Heyy lovlies! I am super-duper sorry for being M.I.A. for like the last month :( I will try and do a super fast update within the next few days, I hope. If not, don't chop off my head. And I also apoligize for this crap chapter.... & sorry for all of the annoying page breaks... :/
But... "SCHOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER!" So I will be updating more frequently, yay!
I finished IF I STAY by GALYE FORMAN. Holy America I am in tears!! It is a must read. Now if i could get my hands on WHERE SHE WENT...
It had been one week since the Fault in our Stars premired and I still have not recovered from it. ( & btw, Gus makes another apperance in this chapter ;) i'm sorry b/c i hate crossing fandoms like this, but oh well)
I attached the link for you to see where I am pulling the inspiration for the wedding ideas. I also attached a picture of the bridesmaids bouquets, just to give you all an idea.
xx, Madd
P.S. the quote at the end with * is cedited to Kenneth Burke, the others are original with inspiration from Pintrest.
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My body jolts; my eyes are forced open. I don’t quite know what happened. I assume it was one of those Your Falling from an Unbelievable Height dream. I suspected my awkward body jolt would have woken Peeta—but I remembered he is a heavy sleeper. Once, I feel out of the bed face first in the floor, and he was still snoring away. Then he wouldn’t stop apologizing after the fact.
I just lay there in the sheets looking around the freshly cleaned room. Then I remember about all of the clothes and such in the washer. I jump out of bed and run, well not exactly run, to the washing room. I check the washer and there is nothing in there. After about a minute of searching, I spot the basket next to the washer. Everything is folded already, my mother probably figured I would forget…
I walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and on my way I walk into something. I look up and realize it was not a something but a someone.
“Well good morning to you, too.” Peeta says with his smile.
“Sorry,” I apologize.
“Where were you coming from,” Peeta raises an eyebrow.
“The laundry room. I forgot about the clothes in there last night.”
“Of course you did.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault…” I trail off. Peeta just shakes his head. My stomach growls almost too loudly.
“Let’s go to the Hob and get some breakfast.” Peeta says laughing. I was almost out of the door, when Peeta stopped me, “You do realize that we are going out in public, right?”
“Ya, why?” Peeta motions to my clothes. “You cannot go out of the house like that.” I realized I was just wearing one of Peeta shirts that ends mid-thigh.
It’s amazing how women just claim their boyfriend’s clothes. It’s not like they would where their girlfriends clothes. I don’t know, I just find it funny.
“Now I have to walk all the way back upstairs.” As I trudge up the stairs, I hear the phone ring. What is up with this damn phone nowadays? I let it ring and ring, but the sound is just annoying I go to answer it. On the screen (I guess you would call it) Seven pops up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Katniss, it’s Johanna.”
“Hey.” I don’t really understand why Johanna would be calling me. I mean we are friends and all, but I still don’t think she fully tolerates me. And quite frankly, I’m not sure if I can fully tolerate her either.
“Um, listen, Annie and I, well Annie was thinking you should come visit us, just to get away from Twelve before the wedding, as like a little getaway.”
“Okay... um, why would I do that?” I’m quite confused honestly.
“Just to be free of wedding planning and clear your mind.” I hear Annie scream in the background.
“Just let me talk to Peeta first,” I say with no emotion.
“You sound super excited at least,” her voice is dripping with sarcasm. Johanna is the first to hang up, thankfully because I hate conversing over a series of wires.
I search for a pair of pants to match the shirt I wore to bed and call that my outfit for the day.
~ ~ ~
We make it to the Hob just in time, and by just in time I mean there is food coming out of the oven. Peeta and I both get chocolate chip pancakes with a glass of orange juice.
“So who were you talking to on the phone?”
“Johanna. She, well Annie, said I should go visit them in Seven or Four, I’m really not sure, just to get away from everything.”
“Even me?”
“Especially you.” We both share in a laugh
“I think you should go. But after your next…” Peeta trails off not wanting to say appointment, “visit with Dr. Waters.”
“Can’t you say no so I don’t have to go?”
“And why would I do that?”
“Because you love me.” I say giving him puppy dog eyes.
“That I do,” he pauses, taking my face in his hands and giving me a slight kiss, “but I think you go.”
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” I say raising an eyebrow.
“Absolutely not, but I think it will be good for you. Just to relax.”
“You’re not gonna make me.”
“I just might.”
“Peetaaaa,” I whine like a little kid.
“Don’t Peeta me, you are going.”
“But-” I stop when I realize Peeta is just going to keep on ignoring me. “I’ll call Annie later.”
“Good.” Peeta says with his mischievous smirk. I hate when he does that. It makes me feel defeated.
~ ~ ~
Instead of going straight home, Peeta and I walk through the woods. The stroll is manly encompassed with the sounds of nature—the wind swiping through the trees, the Mockingjay whistles, and the loudest noise is coming from Peeta’s heavy feet.
“I need to teach you how to walk, Peeta.”
“I’m pretty sure I can walk just fine, dear.”
“Not in the woods you can’t.”
“Walking is walking.” I just leave the conversation at that and continue to enjoy my woods. It’s funny, whenever I come to the woods, I don’t seem to worry about anything.
Peeta and I, well I, continue to walk as Peeta continues to trudge, until we reach the fence. “I bet I can beat you back to the house?” I propose.
“Not again,” Peeta says under his breath.
“What do you mean? Not again?” I mimic.
“You do this every time.”
“Why? Is someone scared to lose?” I antagonize and Peeta just shakes his head. “Oh, I got it. If I win you can’t make me go visit Annie and Jo.”
“And if I win you have no choice but to go.” We shake on it, and I really hope my legs can move faster than Peeta’s because I really am not all about the idea of ‘getting away’.
I take the early lead, but sooner than later Peeta catches up to me and soon takes the lead. I just give up half way because (1.) I know I have no chance of winning the bet, and (2.) my legs and lungs are on FIRE. I have really slipped out of shape. I guess over the past few years I have active and what not, so my body was in shape. Was is the key word there.
I see Peeta waiting outside the door of our home. When he believes I can hear him, he starts yelling to me, “Looks like you’re going to have to call Jo and tell her you’ll be there.” I reach him seconds later and walk straight past him as if he wasn’t standing there. “Hey, you can’t be mad at me. You were the one who wanted to race.”
“I can be mad if I want to.”
“But you shouldn’t.” I just walk to the fridge to get some water, and I notice a stack of mail on the island table. I search through them and they are all wedding magazines. There is a note that falls out of one magazine:
Katniss, we have made some decisions for your wedding, but not all. The bridesmaids dresses? What are you going to do about them? Peeta’s tux? The flower selection? The food options? The table arrangements? The center pieces?
So much to decide in such a little time, although I’m not quite sure on the time frame we have because THERE IS NO SET DATE! We need to decide that first, in my opinion. I knew I should have just stayed in Twelve with you so I could have helped more with the wedding.
I hope these magazines will help with your decisions. I encourage you look through this magazine first because I’m 100% positive this will help you. I will visit soon, promise!
Much love, Effie
Just through a letter she can get on my nerves, Effie. I mean, I appreciate her effort and all, but she really is so goddamned annoying. She wrote ‘we’ for crying out loud.
I glance ever so slightly through the magazine Effie suggested I look at first. The magazine is called The Bride’s Side. I walk over to the couch because there is not much else to do, and I begin to read B.S. (well at least that’s what I like to call it because, quite frankly, it’s just so irresistible).
The issue is filled with different color themes and tacky shit that I DO NOT want at my wedding. There are signs that show PICK A SIDE, NOT A FAMILY on it and TWO BEINGS BECOME ONE. All clichéd.
All I want at my wedding is flowers. I just love the sight they bring. I thought for Annie and Jo, I would have them hold a bouquet a dandelions and subtle white wildflowers. (Even though I didn’t even ask them to be my bridesmaids yet.)
I get annoyed with the magazine so I throw it on the ground and stare at the pictures on the wall.
“Are you gonna call Johanna or Annie and tell her you are going to go and visit?” Peeta asks.
“Mhmm.” I respond. “But later.” Peeta and I just lay on the couch for the rest of the day watching some show about and I quote, “The People Who Transformed Panem.” Peeta and I are featured along with the rest of the Star Squad, amongst others. The show is nothing but a fucking nightmare, in my opinion.
I zone out periodically, but I am awoken every now and then by the tugging and pulling of my hair. I realized Peeta had been playing with it. My eyes soon become heavy again because this show is really boring the crap out of me and pissing me off.
~ ~ ~
I wake up to my favorite smell, food. “I knew you would wake up if I made you food.” Peeta laughs, “But the foods not done yet so I would call now… before you forget.” Mumbling profanities under my breath, I walk over to the phone. I press the button that reads SEVEN. The phone operator answers, “Who is it you are trying to reach?” To which I respond, “Johanna Mason.”
One ring… two rings…three rings… four rings…five rings…
After the fifth ring, I get a hello.
“Um, it looks like I can come visit Seven.” I say giving Peeta the stink eye.
“Good. I’m sure Annie and Flynn will be excited to hear that.”
“What, you’re not excited to see me?” I could have fun with this… depending upon how far it goes.
“You know what I mean, brainless.”
“So when should I leave?”
“Whenever, I really don’t care. Annie and Flynn are practically living here until whenever you and Peeta decide to have your wedding.”
“Alright then. I guess I’ll be up Tuesday night.”
“Sounds good to me,” And with that our conversation ends. The shorter the conversations, the better with her.
By now I’m positive dinner is ready, but of course Peeta has to put his two cents in, “Now was that so hard, darling?”
“Actually it was. You try talking to Jo on the phone.”
“Well, I can’t argue with you there.” Peeta and I both shovel the food into our mouths because we did not eat lunch.
“So I’m assuming your leaving…”
“Tuesday.” I answer as Peeta nods as he finishes the last of chicken. I save some extra for my mother when/ if she gets home from work tonight.
I decide to take a shower, just to give me something to do.
I step I the shower and repeat my normal procedure. When I step out I comb my hair and apply moisturizer to my face. Nothing special.
I pull on one of Peeta’s shirts that became mine. I was planning on just jumping on the bed and calling it a night but then I notice the basket of clothes.
That pesky basket of clothes.
I bring the basket over to the drawers. I put each piece of clothing in their respectful place, and then crawl back in bed. “That is a new shower record for you, under ten minutes!” Peeta exclaims.
“Shut up,” I say throwing a pillow at him, which he returns. Before you know it we are in a full out pillow fight. Peeta swings a pillow at me but I dodge it and tackle him on the bed. I place a kiss on his lips, “I love you.”
“And I love you.” When he goes to give me a kiss, I whack him in the head with a pillow, “Goodnight,” I whisper.
~ ~ ~ {3 days later, Monday night}
Tonight is my visit with Gus. Since last week, I’ve felt a lot more… sane, I guess you would say. I haven’t really had any anxiety attacks. Cleaning is a remedy, just like the knot tying.
Speaking of which, I still have some time before I have to leave, so I decide to try a new knot: the noose. Finnick begun to teach me how to tie it in the Training Center, but I never paid attention. It’s quite complicated for me, see, because there all of these loops that you have to put the rope through… it takes patience. And patience is something I lack, big time.
Not that I will ever use the noose for anything, it’s just always intrigued me for some odd reason. I assume that people will question why I am tying a noose, so I don’t spend much time on it.
Peeta is rushing me out of the house, and I hate being rushed more than anything, “Don’t rush me.” I plead.
“Well, if we don’t leave, you will be late for your therapy.” Peeta says sympathetically but immediately regretting it. He should feel bad about saying ‘therapy’, too. I mean, I have not gone completely crazy. There is only bad days, occasionally. I mean, it’s not, like, the norm.
I simply get up quietly, the rope, half tied, still being clutched in my hand.
On the walk to the hospital I focus on my new knot, the noose. I’m slowly getting the hang of it.
Peeta breaks the silence, “Why are you tying a noose?”
“To use on you,” I say still holding a grudge on him for using the term therapy.
“Ouch,” Peeta says acting like an overdramatic teenage girl. “But, it’s not a big deal. You’re not the only person who goes to therapy.”
“Hush.” I’m focusing on my knot, “I don’t like you calling it therapy. It makes me seem like I’m psychotic or something.”
“Well, I’m sorry.” Peeta kisses the top of my head.
~ ~ ~
I’m am sitting in the metaphorical-children’s-room-of-help waiting for Gus. My visit doesn’t start for another two minutes and seventeen seconds. Yes, that is how bored I have become. I also am counting how much longer I will have to stay put on this sad excuse for a couch—sixty-two minutes and ten seconds.
Gus enters the room one minute and forty-seven seconds early, with a larger than life smile on his face. “How are you doing on this fine evening, Katniss?”
“It would be ten times better if I wasn’t here.”
“I’m incredibly hurt. I can’t believe you do not like our Monday night therapeutic sessions.”
There we go again with that word, I mumble to myself. I just look down and try a new knot—the fiador knot. This is by far the most complicated knot to me, but I continue to tie and untie it. “This just makes me feel crazy.”
“If it makes you feel any better, we are all crazy. Your brain just takes crazy and twists it, like you’re doing to that rope there.”
“How long did it take you to come up with that one?”
“How long did it first take you to master that knot, Katniss?”
“About six hours.”
“That’s how long it took me to come up with my analogy.” He gets a quaint smirk on his face, and we both share in a laugh. “I guess we should get started with your session,” wonderful, “How have you been since the last time we spoke?”
“A lot better, I think. I haven’t really had any panic attacks, or anything of that sort.”
“Probably because you started seeing me. What do you think?”
“I think you are beginning to flirt with me.” I say raising an eyebrow.
“This is just my personality, Ms. Everdeen,” he laughs, “And plus, I have girlfriend.” Gus says proudly. “We can talk about her some other time, if you would like to flip the table. But let's get back to you.”
“I’m leaving for Seven tomorrow. My friends think it would be a good idea for me to get away.”
“And you don’t think the same?”
“No, especially because Peeta’s not going. I don’t know. I really don’t like people.”
“But they are your friends.”
“While that is indeed true, I still don’t want to go.”
“We live in a jar, and call the lid the sky. We think that is our limit, the lid. If you don’t open your mind and eyes, you will miss the fun, Katniss.”
"Because I'm sure this trip will be so much fun." My voice drips in sarcasm.
For the rest of the hour we just talk about little things, like what I did this past week and stuff along those lines. I schedule my next visit for same day, same time next week.
“So no metaphor to end the night? You’re slacking here, Gus.” I joke.
“If you insist. *A world without metaphor would be a world without purpose*, ya know,” Gus pauses as if he is thinking, “Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are seeds. It’s up to you if you grow flowers or seeds.”
~ ~ ~
I tell Peeta about my session and recite the metaphors, whilst we are packing for my trip tomorrow.
“That guy sure is something.”
“You have no idea.”