Rogers P.O.V.
The venue where Brian's wedding reception was taking place was only a short walk away from the church they had gotten married in, so it should have been an easy journey, but Queens fame had skyrocketed over the years and now we couldn't do anything or go anywhere without being followed by the press, journalists sticking their camera lens' in our faces and so on, and of course, with it being one quarter of Queens wedding day today, it would make wonderful news, so there was a lot of them out here today, trying to get the juiciest photographs.
And with the other three quarters of Queen already on the way to the reception on our own, it made us prime targets for some hassling, which was annoying anyway, but with a fragile Freddie on our hands, it just put me even more on edge.
Especially since in the last couple of years, word had gotten out to the world about Brian and Freddie being in a relationship together...and now the magazines and the newspapers were having a field day knowing Brian was now marrying a woman after him and Freddie had been snapped many times looking loved up in public.
"Freddie?! Freddie?! How do you feel about Brian getting married today?!" I heard one journalist shout over to us, thankfully, we had bodyguards with us to keep them from getting to us as gone were the days where we could roam the streets unrecognised.
My heart lurched for Freddie when I heard that question being shouted at him, I looked behind me and glanced at him, his eyes sad and kept down at the floor, he kept silent, refusing to answer their questions, just like he had always done, he never had been one for interviews.
"Roger?! John?! Will Queen be performing at Brian's wedding reception tonight?!" I heard, a question shouted at us from the same guy who had asked Freddie the earlier question.
We glanced at each other, smiling a little, we chose to ignore the journalist and bundled ourselves into the venue where the celebrations were set to continue.
I heard the flick of a lighter and turned around to see Freddie lighting up yet another cigarette, I sometimes wish he'd never taken it up as heavily as he had done, he never used to smoke, then he used to have the odd one when we were out but he was never addicted...now he can't concentrate without one between his lips.
The venue was nice and was heavily decorated, but I couldn't appreciate anything...not the matching white flowers on all the tables or the navy blue balloons everywhere, I couldn't appreciate the church ceremony or how happy Brian's new wife looked, I couldn't get happy for them, not when I knew just how much Freddie was hurting. And because they were hurting him, I wanted to resent them. Not that I liked Brian's new wife anyway, but I couldn't stand the way Brian had left Freddie out in the dark...the poor guy already had his heart hanging out of his arse without having to watch him marry somebody else.
I felt very protective over him lately, both me and John felt that way, he was like a child that we had to nurture and stop from doing stupid things...because he blamed himself for Brian leaving him and it was torturing him...Brian has still not told him why he got up and left him one day.
"It looks nice in here..." Deaky shrugged.
I could tell he didn't mean it as he also hated that Brian was getting married to someone other than Freddie today, but he was just trying to lighten the mood and pick out the positives from the heavy amount of negatives.
But as other people had now started to arrive my heart began to thud a little harder...I knew I'd have to deliver my Best Man speech soon in front of Brian, his new wife, all these guests, Deaky...and in front of Freddie. I'd found it incredibly difficult to even write one, not just because I'd only known Brian's wife for the last six months and only actually met her a handful of times, but I found it hard to write anything positive about the marriage, because as far as I was concerned, none of this should be happening.
But I had to write something, especially since Freddie had already declined Brian's offer as Best Man position...which I don't blame him for, why the hell would he want to be the Best Man at his former lovers wedding?
We had all been seated once the newlyweds had arrived and we all found our seats with our little name cards in front of the plates, I was sat on the top table, next to Brian's father which I found awkward in itself, not because of who I was sat with because I had known Brian's dad for as long as I had known Brian, so was more than happy to sit and chat to Harold...it was just looking over and seeing Deaky and Freddie sat on a completely different table to me, glancing over and seeing Deaky trying to make conversation with our singer and watching Freddie push his food around his plate, never consuming one mouthful as he either kept his dark eyes down at all times, or he cast the odd, heartbroken glance over at Brian, who seemed not to be phased in the slightest by any of this...we all could tell just how head over heels Brian was for Freddie, even in the last week before he left him, so you're not telling me he doesn't feel even just a little unsettled today, you can't tell me someone so loved up can just switch off their love for someone in a click of the fingers.
Something had to have gone off. Something that Brian isn't telling us. And we all know Brian is good at keeping secrets.
After all the plates had been cleared away after the food had been eaten, Harold turned to me and whispered, "I think it's time for your moment, Roger." He chuckled.
I was never sure as to whether Brian's mother and Father approved, or even knew about Brian and Freddie's relationship. I mean, I had no idea if Brian had ever told them or even if Brian had taken Freddie to his parents house before, but surely they can't have been living under a rock, their pictures and stories were all over the press, they can't have gone four years not seeing anything about their son dating Freddie.
I smiled at Harold and cleared my throat, looking over at all the guests currently sitting in front of us. I had performed in front of thousands and thousands of people, I had done stadium concerts and never felt a nervous twinge...but looking over these couple of hundred wedding guests and knowing I was going to have to grit my teeth and fake a smile whilst I read out my Best Man speech in front of them made my stomach churn a little.
I glanced at Brian, wondering if he was nervous about what I was going to say, I could easily expose him and tarnish his reputation...but I wasn't that evil.
But I took a large gulp of wine, picked up a spoon and tapped it against the wine glass as I stood up, getting everyone's attention, all of their beady eyes suddenly turning to look at me, all apart from Freddie's eyes, whose refused to acknowledge any of this was happening.
But I carried on regardless, this was something I couldnt get out of. This was something I had to do.
I gripped the paper in my hand in which my speech was written on maybe a little too tightly, my heart hammering against my rib cage as I scanned the room.
"Good evening, everyone..." I started, swallowing hard, "My name is Roger...umm Roger Taylor, but I'm sure a lot of you already knew that..." I paused, smiling a little when I heard a few people chuckling, picking up on my sarcasm. I was starting to relax a little.
"You see, myself and Brian here, we're in a band together, along with Freddie and John too, we're quite good, you should come along and see us...but umm...Queen isn't the reason why I'm stood up talking to you all this evening, the reason being that my friend Brian here, you might not have noticed, but he's gotten married today...a day I never thought I'd see...he never has been much a ladies man, so it came as a little bit of a surprise." I chuckled along with the guests that were appreciating my light humour...but of course, there were only a select few people here who knew my true meaning of that part. I glanced at Freddie who, for the first time today, had a teensy smile on his face, he must have appreciated my little dig at Brian there.
I carried on, "I've known Brian since we were in our teens, we went to the same college, he was always one of those nerds who nobody liked, just wanted to talk about bloody space and stars and all that shit...so again, it came as quite the surprise when one day he played the guitar for me. I still have no idea where the fuck that guitar talent came from! Not long after that...we formed a band with Tim called Smile, I'm going to be honest, we weren't great, but we were a blind lot better than Brian's fucking hair back then, Jesus Christ, you think it's bad now? He used to try and straighten it back then. Try being the emphasised word." I looked over at Brian to see him laughing away and smiling, "You looked like a serial killer mate, please don't ever straighten your hair again. I still have nightmares." I let the laughing of the guests simmer down a little before I carried on.
"Then of course I think most of you know what happened after that, we met Freddie...then we met John...then we formed Queen and took over the fucking world blah blah blah." I giggled, "But you might think we lead this utterly glamorous lifestyle...well, not when you have to share a bathroom with Brian. I must have spent my life earnings on air freshener for that bathroom, please, for the love of God, Brian, learn to flush the toilet when you're done...disgusting." I pretended to shiver and was enjoying the continuous laughter of the wedding guests...Freddie had lifted his eyes now and was listening to me deliver my speech, we made eye contact briefly where I gave him a quick wink and he shot me a small half smile back.
"We had our wild years, as everyone does when they're young, we were all a little reckless, even Brian, it's hard to believe I know, but you'd be surprised at the amount of times I've had to stop a drunk Brian May from performing a strip tease in the middle of the dance floor...whilst of course Freddie sings Big Spender for him as he's toppling over, thankfully, too drunk to get his shirt buttons open, thank god."
Again, another little smile from Freddie which warmed my heart.
"But unfortunately for some, they'll be no more stripteases, you're married now Brian..."
Here comes the part I had been dreading the most...
"...married to a wonderful woman who I can tell makes you a very happy man."
Lie. Freddie made him happier, everyone knew that.
"And you should do everything you can to keep her, Brian."
Another lie, he should do anything he can to get rid of her.
"Not a lot of people could put up with what I've had to over the years, I might as well have been married to you! Oh...and if you're wondering what my wedding present to you is, it's a life time supply of air freshener to keep that bathroom smelling nice...please don't put her through what I've had to put up with."
Again, I let the laughter die down and I raised a glass in the air, "Ladies and gentleman, let us all raise a glass for the new, Mr and Mrs May." I took a sip of my champagne and watched as all the guests rose their glasses in the air and clinked them against other peoples, taking sips and giving me a round of applause as well as celebrating the new marriage...all apart from one guest, who was slumped back in his chair, looking distant and depressed...of course, it was Freddie.
I felt awful, it must have really looked like I was enjoying myself whilst delivering my speech, really meaning what I said about Brian's new wife and seeming as though I was happy that Brian had married her.
When I truly wasn't, I just had to put on a show. I didn't for one moment believe that Brian wanted to marry this woman in the first place, I believed he still loved Freddie...I just needed to know why he left him so suddenly and for what reason.
The guests had started to move towards the dance floor, preparing for the cringey first dance of the new husband and wife...
"Roger, that was great, you killed it!" Deaky beamed at me having fought his way through the people to get to me.
I smiled, "Thanks Deaks...I just found it really hard to make it sound as if I...meant it..."
He nodded sympathetically and lowered his voice, "I know, I know...but as an outsider, I would have never picked up on the fact that you never wanted this marriage to happen." He winked discreetly and chuckled, making me do the same.
Myself and John had never rekindled any romance after our little relationship those few years ago, on one hand I really thought we would, thought we'd forget all the hard times and have another go at being together...but it just never happened that way, and I was okay with it. Over time as our wounds and our hearts healed we both came to realise that maybe...we were just never meant to be together in the first place? As time went by my desires for him fizzled out, don't get me wrong, I still find him attractive, but I don't crave to be with him anymore, I was more than satisfied still having him in my life as a best friend.
Besides, I knew that John felt the same way, we still adored each other and loved being in a friendship, but that was it, he was always off having these flings with different guys he meets, which I admire him for, he's got the looks, might as well use them to his advantage! He's no where near as bad as Freddie though...no way.
Then again, since our breakup, it had taken me a little longer to get over it than John, but I also had been having my fair share of flings and short relationships, none lasted as long as mine and Johns, I would say we're both still learning and still trying to find someone whose right for us.
"Where's Fred?" I asked.
"Out for a smoke, he doesn't want to watch their first dance..." John half smiled.
"Was he alright throughout my speech?" I cringed a little.
Deaky shrugged, "The same as he has been when you've been practising reading it out to us, saying little things under his breath, not really taking any of it in..."
I nodded slowly, "I'm going to go out and find him...see if he's alright..."