jimin sighed contentedly, his head resting on his hands as he leaned back against his velvety pillow. the thick, sweet summer scent casted a spell of laziness upon the boy as he enjoyed the final moments of summer before college began.
he was still adjusting to the move; the boxes filled with jimin's belongings were littered messily across his new room, though jimin was far too lazy to be bothered by them.
upon hearing a ping, the boy picked up his phone from his bedside table. across the room, he spotted hoseok sprawled on his bed, smirking at something on his phone.
jimin turned his attention back to his own phone and watched as a notification danced around on the screen.
he tapped it.
...
[jarkmypimin has been added to #yoonseokisreal]
#yoonseokisreal
[probablyarock, hoesock, jiiiiinnnnn, jooooonnnnn, goldenkookie, tae95, jarkmypimin]
august 19, 2018
7:53 p.m.
jarkmypimin, 7:53 p.m.
???? <<
hoesock, 7:53 p.m.
>> welcome to hell
jiiiiinnnnn, 7:53 p.m.
>> i found a huge ass fly inside my shoe he l p
jooooonnnnn, 7:53 p.m.
>> tag yourself im the shoe
>> wait no im a top
>> jin ur the shoe and im the fly ;))
jarkmypimin, 7:53 p.m.
what <<
jiiiiinnnnn, 7:53 p.m.
>> why are you sharing this on our group chat
goldenkookie, 7:53 p.m.
>> that's kinky
tae95, 7:54 p.m.
>> *pulls out bible*
>> forgive me father for i have sinned
goldenkookie, 7:54 p.m.
>> tht means the same thing as ''im sorry daddy, i have been bad'
probablyarock, 7:54 p.m.
>> wait wtf
>> holy shit you're right
>> ugh now i can never look at a bible the same way again
hoesock, 7:54 p.m.
>> ew
jiiiiinnnnn, 7:54 p.m.
>> s tfu kookie you're like 2 years old
jarkmypimin, 7:54 p.m.
what am i doing here <<
hoesock, 7:55 p.m.
>> can yall chill for 2 seconds and introduce yourselves to jimin
>> dirty minded fuckers
probablyarock, 7:55 p.m.
>> says the one named hoe sock
hoesock, 7:55 p.m.
>> k
jooooonnnnn, 7:55 p.m.
>> every kiss begins with k (:
goldenkookie, 7:55 p.m.
>> and ugly starts with u hAh
>> apply ice to that fucking burn
jiiiiinnnnn, 7:55 p.m.
>> language???? you're like 1
goldenkookie, 7:55 p.m.
>> sry mom
>> p l e a s e apply ice to that fucking burn
>> hAhahHahh
>> hheheheheh
>> hih
tae95, 7:55 p.m.
>> omg stfu
>> you have the sense of humor of a first grader
>> go away
[goldenkookie sent an image]
tae95, 7:55 p.m
>> wtf
>> ?????
jarkmypimin, 7:55 p.m.
why does this group chat exist <<
hoesock, 7:56 p.m.
>> no one knows lmfao
>> i assumed you need friends
>> cause you're new here and all
>> what better way to make friends than to add you into a group chat filled with wholesome crackheads
probablyarock, 7:56 p.m.
>> you sound like a commercial
>> "buy two wholesome crackheads and get one free"
jooooonnnnn, 7:56 p.m.
>> why do we exist?
>> why does this world exist?
>> what is our purpose on this world
>> if we're just going to die one day?
>> it seems as though there is no purpose, for one day our hearts will stop beating and our bodies will fade to dust
>> so what is it that keeps us living?
tae95, 7:57 p.m.
>> namjoon why are u like this
>> one minute ur as weird as yoongi's foot kink
>> and then you're like
>> really deep
goldenkookie, 7:57 p.m.
>> deep ;)
probablyarock, 7:57 p.m.
>> i do not have a foot kink????
>> wait how did you know about it
hoesock, 7:57 p.m.
>> as i said, jimin,
>> welcome to hell
goldenkookie, 7:57 p.m.
>> i never knew hell was this lit
jooooonnnnn, 7:58 p.m.
>> shut up, no one says "lit" anymore
>> wait back up
>> yoongi has a foot kink??
>> wh
hoesock, 7:58 p.m.
>> can we not elaborate on this
jooooonnnnn, 7:58 p.m.
>> how does that work
probablyarock. 7:58 p.m.
>> and this is where i leave
jooooonnnnn, 7:59 p.m.
>> h ow doe s that work
>> you just like?? see a foot?
>> and you're like??
>> wow that's a hot foot??
>> ?????????
>> do u wanna fuck a foot????
>> guys whered u go
>> pls respond i need answers
...
jimin goggled at the series of text messages flashing across the screen, his face contorted in confusion. "these are the people you're friends with?" he turned his gaze towards hoseok, who was aggressively tapping away at his phone.
"unfortunately," hoseok snorted, his tongue sticking out slightly from the corner of his mouth. "but they're not that bad. i promise."
jimin suppressed an eye roll as he returned his focus to the new text message.
...
tae95, 8:03 p.m.
>> unrelated but
>> ,,
>> holy shit i am so gay
jiiiiinnnnn, 8:03 p.m.
>> you've already established that
>> on multiple occasions
tae95, 8:04 p.m.
>> u dont under s taNd
hoesock, 8:04 p.m.
>> can yall stop with the gayness? i feel left out
>> im as straight as a noodle
jooooonnnnn, 8:04 p.m.
>> hoseok youre about as straight as a circle
goldenkookie, 8:04 p.m.
>> wym???
>> youre dating yoongi
hoesock, 8:04 p.m.
>> i didn't give consent
goldenkookie, 8:05 p.m.
>> besides
>> noodles are straight until they get wet
probablyarock, 8:05 p.m.
>> how to unread something
jiiiiinnnnn, 8:09 p.m.
>> do you guys wanna hear a pickup line
tae95, 8:09 p.m.
>> not particularly
jiiiiinnnnn, 8:09 p.m.
>> ok
>> anyways
>> our love is like math
tae95, 8:09 p.m.
>> boring and annoying af?
jiiiiinnnnn, 8:09 p.m.
>> no
>> it's like pi, irrational and never ending
>> :)
>> :) :) :)
probablyarock, 8:09 p.m.
>> shut the Fuck up
jiiiiinnnnn, 8:10 p.m.
>> :(
jooooonnnnn, 8:10 p.m.
>> dork ://
hoesock, 8:10 p.m.
>> how long did it take you to pull that off the internet
probablyarock, 8:10 p.m.
>> ,,i
>> it was time for thomas to leave. he had seen everything.
hoesock, 8:10 p.m
>> ????
>> who's thomas
probablyarock, 8:11 p.m.
>> have you never seen thomas the tank engine
>> uncultured swine
jiiiiinnnnn, 8:11 p.m.
>> fuck the fly got stuck in my drain
>> it's vibrating
goldenkookie, 8:11 p.m
>> vibrating
jiiiiinnnnn, 8:11 p.m.
>> this is serious, jungkook
hoesock >> it's probably gonna die as soon as you turn on the water
jiiiiinnnnn >> guess I'll just stop washing my hands
jiiiiinnnnn >> and my dishes
jiiiiinnnnn >> at least i'll save up on water
jiiiiinnnnn >> i should stop using water in general
jiiiiinnnnn >> im such an environmentalist
hoesock >> how are you gonna go to the bathroom
jiiiiinnnnn >> th e flowers might need w atering
probablyarock >> thanks for sharing
tae95 >> if you live with namjoon
tae95 >> why do you only have one sink??
jiiiiinnnnn >> ,,,we're broke college students
8:20 P.M.
jiiiiinnnnn >> rip i think the fly died
jooooonnnnn >> :(
hoesock >> hey what happened to jimin
probablyarock >> he probably left
probablyarock >> it's hard to keep up with everything in this group chat
goldenkookie >> hard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
probablyarock >> omfg kookie i actually need my last brain cell to function
jiiiiinnnnn >> chill
tae95 >> ok but as i was saying earlier
tae95 >> im mega gay
jooooonnnnn >> w e k n o w
tae95 >> but!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoesock >> please don't spam us again with random pictures of guys you dub as hot
tae95 >> like i was scrolling through the internet and i come across this guy
hoesock >> ugh not again
tae95 >> just look at him ahsdkjhlas
[tae95 has sent an image]
8:22 P.M.
that,,,,,,, << jarkmypimin
k << jarkmypimin
jooooonnnnn >> every kiss begins with k
[jarkmypimin has left #yoonseokisreal]
tae95 >> what
tae95 >> did i do something
tae95 >> why did he leave
hoesock >> LMao
hoesock >> THATS JIMIN
tae95 >> oops
tae95 >> ,,,,,,,ill go apologize
goldenkookie >> this is literally every gay fanfic ever
goldenkookie >> how cliche
probablyarock >> you read gay fanfics?
goldenkookie >> who doesnt
jooooonnnnn >> i bet 70 bucks they'll get together in 10 months
jiiiiinnnnn >> i bet 100 that they'll get together in 3
goldenkookie >> didnt u just say u were broke college kids
jooooonnnnn >> we're also dumb college kids
goldenkookie >> i,,,,,,,
goldenkookie >> have 2 dollars
goldenkookie >> i bet 2 dollars they'll get together in 10
8:25 p.m.
goldenkookie >> he's cute tho
tae95 >> s t fu
...
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