There's an emptiness that only few ever feel
And I somehow missed the meaning of love that is real
And it compliments my scars that will never heal
Maybe I didn't deserve you
Maybe I just couldn't cure you
They told me that I didn't hurt you
Why do I feel like I turned you?
Maybe I don't understand it
Tell me is this how you planned it?
Did you see us so stranded
Maybe I'm too much to manage
Omniscient POV
The feeling of arms wrapped tightly around her waste from behind was definitely something Ryan wasn't use to waking up to. Even when she had been living with a man for so long. His hold was so tight like he was trying to keep her from leaving but she had to. She had to get up because she had to pee. Waiting as long as she could before starting to slowly remove his arms from around her trying not to wake him from his peaceful sleep. It took her a few tries a way more time than she really had since he kept stirring but once she was free she quickly tip toes herself in the bathroom relieving herself as quietly as she could. But with the room being a dead quiet every drop that hit the water belong sounded louder than it actually was. Once she was finished and wiped herself properly Ry stood in front her the mirror staring at her reflection while washing her hands. Her neck was covered in purple like bruises but not for the reasons she had grown use to. Lips still slightly swollen and red from every kiss and bite Anthony gave them the night before.
Blush washed over her with a rush and hint of embarrassment. Her first time was with a man that she wasn't married to like she had originally planned and oddly she was okay with that because it was everything she always wanted to it be. He took his time with her , making sure she was comfortable and putting her needs first. She could still kiss the trail of wet kisses he placed along her inner thighs before french kissing her other set of lips. What happen last number was more than just sex to her ,she had given Anthony apart of herself that she swore to keep until her wedding night. Opening herself up in a way she never had and there was no going back now. The only thing she could do was pray that the feeling he told her he had was real. Making her way back into the room where Tony was still in the same position she had left him in. On his back with one hand on his stomach and the other on placed behind his head with his face turned away from her. Both of them were still as naked as the day they were born after their second and third round they had in the tub and shower she slipped back into the bed but keeping her body propped up on her elbow while her other hands lightly traced the outline of his tattoos along his chest with the pad her finger. Admiring the smooth and cleanness of his skin watching his chest rise and fall at a slow pace.
Unable to stop herself threw her leg over positioning herself over top over his lower stomach. Hands flat against the same pillow he laid his head on Ryan leaned over kissing a soft kiss on cheek then ear before making contact with the sensitive skin of his neck. He didn't show no signs of waking up until her tongue replaced her lip. A low growl left his lips as he shifted a little under her weight. Still sleep Anthony removed his hand from his head placing it mindlessly on top of her bare thigh. Her kisses and licks turned into biting and sucking wanting to mark him the same way he did her. Feeling his member growing thick under her Ry smiled to herself before letting out a surprised yelp. She didn't even no he was fully awake until his arms quickly around her frame lifting up. Now they were chest to chest wrapped in each others embrace lips pressed against each together letting their tongues go to war with one another. Breaking away only because his phone started ringing somewhere in the pile of clothes they made last night.
"Grab my phone for me baybeh." Without really giving it a second thought Ryan hopped up and out of the bed giving a nice view he would mind waking up to every morning.
His eyes roam her body taking in her flaws. He could help but coming angry at the older scars that covered different parts of her. They didn't make her any less beautiful they only made her strong and he was determined to show her just how beautiful and strong she really was. Once she founded what she was looking for that was buried in the back pocket of his jeans the smile she once wore disappeared before turning the screen of his phone around to face him.
The name Nicki flashed big across the screen killing both of their good morning vibes. Just for a moment he had forgotten all about her because he had finally got the one he truly wanted. Motioning her to hand over the phone when she did she thought she was going to answer it but he didn't only letting it ring until it finally went to voicemail. Then locking it to seeing he had ten missed calls and twelve unread text message. Deciding to go through the messages first , Tony read every message getting irritated the more he read. They stated off nice asking here Mama Mary was doing she must have sent that yesterday while he was still at the hospital. I guess when he didn't answer her calls or texts she started talking slick out her mouth getting brave because they wasn't in each others face. Saying shit like fuck him and he could stay with the bitch he was fucking. She even left voicemails but those he didn't feel the need the need to check before chucking his phone across the room. Ryan didn't no what to say so she stood in her spot trying to cover some of her nakedness. She could tell he was pissed and thinking about something and she didn't want to add to the rage and plus she didn't know how to feel about Nicki still being in the picture. She had just slept with the man her best friend was involved with. Now she was starting to regret everything even though it made her happy. Here she was again getting ready to put another's happiness before her own , making herself feel like she didn't deserve to feel or be loved.
Tony must have noticed to instant switch in her mood because he pulled himself up with the bedding making sure to take the sheets with him. Once he was close even he wrapped their bodies together like a cocoon before taking a seat on the couch behind them. Ry's legs draped over his as she sat next to him with his arm hanging across her shoulder. The free hand found it's way under her chin taking it in between his thumb and index finger causing them to make eye contact. The tears were forming in her eyes and he couldn't stop them , mostly because he didn't know why they were there. But being the person he was and knowing Ryan as well as he feels like he does he knew it was more than just about Nicki calling. By the way her body stated to shake confirmed his assumptions.
"Talk to me Ry what's wrong baybeh ?" She was quick to respond but her burying her face deep into his chest caused him to hug her tighter. This time bring her full body into his lap , kissing the top of her head before replacing his lips with his chin.
"I...I just don't get it Tony. Why me...there's always something bad happening to me. Ever since I was younger my life...." Biting her bottom lip debating on if she was going to tell him the secret that only her grandmother knew before chose to continue. "Growing up it me and...my mom. I don't remember much about my dad until I got older. But she wasn't a nice woman. The whips that has scared up my back are from her. She use to hurt so bad that I hated her...I hated that she allowed the drugs become more important than her child. She wasn't always that way those but I can never seem to find the moment in time when everything switched."
Choosing to say quiet and just listen Anthony rocked themselves back and forth at a slow pace trying to let her know to take her time.
"One time she even tried to sell me to her local dealer I guess because she didn't have enough for a hit and you know what he did....he took me , took me as a payment and she left me there. I remember begging and screaming to the top of my lung in the alley for him to let me go. The only thing he did was laugh , him and his friends. The were going to have there way with me only guy walking by the alley saw and stopped. That was my first time meeting Chris. He was way smaller than what he is now but he beat all three of those guys up. He asked me where didn't a stay I gave him nana's address." A small laugh let her lips as she remember the first time her and Chris ever met. "I thought he was going to put me in a car but he didn't. You know cared on his back for twenty blocks. It was four in the morning when we got to nana's place. I was too shaking up to say anything so Chris told her what he knew. The next day I told her what my mother had did and she promised me I would never ave to go back and I didn't."
Ryan wiped the tears from her eyes as she turned to look him in the eyes.
"Looking back on it I feel so bad for treating him the way I did because him I probably wouldn't even be here. Then you came along and I treated you no better after a while and hear you are saving me." Ready to get on a different subject but she changed her mind keeping it on her mother. "Nana told me right before she went into the coma that my father use to treat my mother the same way Jahmal treated me. For all these years I thought I was being better than her but I became her all the way around. I use to hate her now I just wish I could talk to her. Tell her that I understand now. I know what she did to me wasn't right and it will never but I get it. When you're so unhappy with yourself and the choices you have made you try and hurt people that seem to have their shit together more than you and make them feel your pain when they truly don't deserve it."
"Is she dead...yo mama ?"
"I don't know. She walked out of nana's house a few years ago after she would give her anymore money and never came back."
"I think you should find out and if she's alive you teller what you just told me."
"What ?! No..no I can't do that. What if she doesn't want to see me or like me , what if she's still on drugs ? I can't go through that again Anthony I just can't."
He understood her hesitation and didn't want to push her to do something she honestly didn't want to do. But the least she wanting him to do was hear him out.
"Relax lul baybeh. I get dat and I hear you but listen. What if she off drugs and doing betta ? What if all this time she been wanting to reach out to you but scared because she now she'll be da last person you wanna see. Now I ain't trynna guilt trip you into anything cuz I'm on yo side in dis. But I can see it in your eyes that a part of you wants to know. Don't rob yo'self of something dat can turn out to be gud cuz you scared. Imma be right here every step of da way on what you decided to do but just think bout it. and think bout dis if she alive , if she's healthy don't you think she deserves to know bout her mama...don't you think mama would want to see her daughter one last time if dis her last moments."
Even though he was saying a lot Ryan heard every word and she was grateful not to be told what she wanted to hear for once and being told what she needed to here. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck Ry twisted her lower half re-positioning herself so that she was saddling him. Bringing a hand up Anthony wiped away the rest of her tears before kissing the tip of her nose causing her to smile.
"I don't want to let you go."
"You ain't got to."
"What about Nicki ?"
She could tell by his reaction that he had once again forgot she even existed until she was brought up again.
"Imma handle dat. I promise you know my word is my bond."
"She going to be so mad at me. I broke girl code." Anthony wanted to laugh at her for even using the words girl code but he also knew she was serious and that her friendship with Nicki , no matter how fucked up her personality was , meant something to her.
" Okay I hear you. How bout we teller together somewhere private so she can't cause know scene then got from there. But baybeh I gotta let you I'm lettin' you go without a hell of a fight after I gotta taste."
Their laughter filled the room as Ryan shoved him in his chest trying to get up but Anthony was too fast. Locked his arm around her waste pulling her back into his lap causing his erection to brush against her swollen clit. His hand gripped her ass most likely leaving behind small like bruises from how hard he was squeezing it. Grabbing his lips to her neck placing a wet kiss firmly upon to before bringing his mouth up to her ear.
"Before we let da drama to come fuck up our vibe. I'm trynna make you cum one more time. Wanna feel yo warmth grippin' me dis time with nun in between. You okay with dat ?"
Ryan was caught up the high she was starting to feel all over again but understood completely what he was asking and if this might be the last time she ever this close to him able to feel him inside of her she wanted to feel everything. She didn't even notice he had lifted her lower half up and over his member until he started to slowly guide her down after getting the confirmation he needed. For some reason he felt way bigger than before , she could feel him stretching her out to a whole knew level as her fingers gripped his shoulders allowing a small moan escape. Her hooded eyes watched as Tony leaned to his head against the couch for a few seconds taking his bottom lip in between his teeth.
"Fuck..." was the only thing he could get out. Trying to breathe through the discomfort Ryan tried to get use to his size in this position. "Breathe baybeh I ain't gonna move til you tell me."
They stayed like this for a few moments before she nodded telling him it was okay. Since he need Ry really didn't know what to do Tony decided to teach her starting her off by lifting her up guiding her trying to find a rhythm she liked while flexing his hips. Moving one of her hands to the back of the couch so she could have more support , he told unwrapped his arm from her waste but told her keep up the motion , to use her knees that were buried deep into the cushions to control her weight. With a roll and flex of the hips she knew she was started to get the hang of it when she felt his heart started to race under her palm and if that wasn't enough to her him being unable to control his breathing was. Picking up the pace Ryan ignored the slight pain she was falling because loved the look on his face too much to stop now. Only that could be heard throughout the room they found themselves locked away in was the sound of their skin connecting every time she took his full length and few moans. Mostly from him though which she gave herself a mental pat on the back about. Ry found herself like this position because she was in control and she could please him the same way he did her.
Clenching her walls tight around his throbbing thickness Tony almost lost his shit and she knew that.
"Shit..baybeh hold up." Ignoring his pleads like she didn't hear him Ryan kept at it making him grip her ass with before hands this times. Nails dipping into her flesh. Dropping her head into the crook of his neck she beginning sweet words into is ear the same way he had did her the night before.
"Babe..I'm so close. I..I want..."
"Wanna what Ry ? Whateva...fuck...whateva is it just tell me and Imma do it."
"Cum..for me."
Almost exactly on command Tony body jerked and tensed releasing everything he had while Ryan did they same. Both milking and stroking each other for everything the other had. Their skin was sticky along with the wetness of her release coating him as his own leaked from her center and down her thighs as he pulled out as slow as possible. Collapsing into herself into his chest.
"Yeah definitely ain't lettin' you go."
———————————————————————
Walking into Breezy Cut'z hand and hand Ryan's heart was racing in her chest because she's never been here and didn't know what to inspect.
"About time your ass came to work. What the fuck was you...." Chris cut his shit talking short when his eyes locked into their hands being intertwined.
His gaze when from their hands up to them than back down. Doing it once more before his eyes widen placing his hands on his head letting a I know you lie statement leave his lips while shaking his head.
Ryan stood there confused as Tony dropped his head letting out a deep chuckle ignoring his brody. Dapping up a few of the barbers that he actually started to get along with after a while before making his way to his chair. You heard write Tony had a chair in Chris's shop. After finding out he use to cut hair back in New Orleans and he still had his license he gave his homie a chair so he could stop sweeping the floors. He had quit his other job at the grocery store and stuck with this one while still going to school.
"Baybeh take a seat right dere. While I get my man inna chair." He pointed to the couch that sat next facing his chair as he waving his client over.
"Baby ? Oh hell ya'll ain't just gonna walk ya'll biscuit head asses up in here holdin' hands talking about some baby and not speak on shit." Chris blurted out getting the whole shops attention.
"Aye B shut up nigga Imma tell you lata relax."
Time passed by and Tony cut five heads before a had a break. His next client didn't come in until another thirty minutes so he took in his chair facing Ryan who had put her feet up and in his lay. The two were lost in their own world , paying attention to nobody but the person in front of them. Laughing and smiling as Anthony founded himself massaging to bare feet.
"Yungin' you got company and she coming in hot." On of the barbers whose chair is in the front said.
Before he could turn around to face the door it opened and slammed shut up.
"Girl don't slam my fucking door." Chris argued.
Nicki didn't comment only walking back towards Tony who was getting up from his seat turning to her.
"Where the fuck you been Tone ?! I been calling you since yesterday why you ain't......" she trailed off when her eyes drifted back behind him to Ryan.
The rage she had before was nothing compared to what was radiating for of her was nothing as she started to piece together something in her mind.
"Nicki calm down. You ain't my job , I aint trynna have these people in my—"
"You fucking her !"
"Look Nick lets go inna back and—"
"Fuck that Anthony ! You fucking her...Ryan you fucking him ?!"
He was getting tired of her cutting him off as he flexed his shoulders. Eyes looking around the shop as everybody tried to act like the weren't staring but he knew they were. He drifted over to Chris whose eyes were wide and in a oh shit stare.
"Nicki I swear it just happen we were going to tell you." Ryan started trying to explain but Nicki tried to rush her coming in swinging.
But Tony's reflex was too fast. He blocked her way taking every punch until he tasted metal in his mouth. Chris jumped in it pulling Nicki away before things got too out of hand but it was already there.
"Bitch your man wasn't shit and was beating your ass so you decided to take mine ! Always running around like you better than everybody , like your life so perfect ! You just like your damn mother probably snorting that shit on the low too !"
"Aye bitch you betta watch yo mouth and what come outta it. Cuz dat bullshit you sayin' gonna get you hurt. So yo best bet is to take yo build a body ass da fuck outta here while you still gotta mothafuckin' choice." He tried to be calm and actually talk to her ignorant ass but since she wanted to play big and talk out the side of her neck she getting a side of Anthony she never seen before.
When she didn't move he continued.
"You knew what dis shit was from da jump. You ain't my fuckin' lady neva was so stop actin' brand new. Like aye nigga fed you false hopes. We ain't even fuck so what you trippin' for."
"Fuck you Anthony. You ain't gonna never be shit but another homeless nigga that Mary founded on the streets."
"Yeah dat might be true but what dat make you since you had my dick on your taste buds. Swallowin' my fuckin' kids."
Since the area was filled with all guys except for Nicki and Ryan the shop busted out into a laughing fitting clowning her on how her insult back fired. Embarrassed and pissed Nicki stopped out of the barbershop not before threatening that both him and Ry was going to get there's. Once she pulled off from the curb Anthony turned around to look at his lady but all his caught was the back of her heading for Chris's office. When he head the door slam then another a cussed under his breath knowing she had went out the backside.
Wasting no time going after her.
——————————————————————
Im back my babies 😜😜😜😜😜
LETS TALK ‼️‼️‼️😁😬
What y'all think abt Ryan taking Anthony advise 🤔🤔
Should she go look for her mother , does her mother deserve to know abt Mama Mary if she is indeed clean ⁉️⁉️⁉️
What about Nicki 🤨🤨
Does she have a right to be upset and mad ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Playing Mind Games: A Chris Brown FanFiction OUT NOW ‼️‼️‼️