Emmett and I sat together for most of the night.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
I shrugged, trying to play off the intense guilt I felt. I couldn't separate my feelings. My mind was a jumbled, confusing mess of intense emotions; culpability, fury, and self-loathing competed with one another for the dominating emotion.
The scene replayed over and over my mind. I imagined dozens of alternate scenarios that resulted in Bella being unharmed. I could have stood in front of Jasper, forming a barrier. I could have pulled her out of the way. I had enough time; it would have taken me less than a second to run to her.
But I did nothing. Why did I freeze? I never freeze.
Usually I would want to rip the head off whoever was responsible, but in this case, it was me. I was such an idiot.
Emmett's phone interrupted my self-reproachment.
"You better come home now," I heard Alice say. Emmett and I exchanged an apprehensive glance and hurried back.
Everyone had gathered in the dining room. The scent of blood still floated on the air, but was thankfully rendered unpalatable by the powerful overtones of alcohol and bleach.
Esme was visibly distraught, her forehead creased. Carlisle looked similar, his eyebrows furrowed.
"We're leaving Forks," Alice sombrely announced on our arrival.
"Oh, Edward, are you sure?" Esme asked, stress tightening her vocal chords. Edward nodded.
"Edward doesn't want us to say goodbye to Bella!" Alice cried, looking at me for solace.
"I think a clean break will make it easier for her to move on," he answered mechanically.
"Alice, it's not up to us. This is entirely Edward's decision." Jasper said bluntly.
"Fine. Let's go, Jasper," she said abruptly. "I have to pack." By her change in tone, I could tell she had a vision and was trying to hide something from Edward. It was mildly irritating.
"What is your plan, Edward?" Carlisle asked.
"I have to convince Bella that I don't want her anymore. She'll never move on if she knows I don't want to go. We need to disappear. How long would that take?"
Carlisle and Esme looked at each other, exchanging an unsettling glance.
"Two days to deal with the house," Esme said to him.
"Three at the hospital," Carlisle added. Edward nodded and disappeared outside.
The rest of the day was spent packing up the house. When we left somewhere, we usually filled a truck with whatever we decided to take with us and hire someone to bring it to our destination. Occasionally, Esme would go ahead of us to sort out a place to live and the rest of us would stay behind to close down whatever needed closing down, like the wifi or school enrolment. Then we would pack our cars, secure the house, and leave.
Since we eventually wanted to return to Forks- after everyone who knew us had died off- we left everything intact, meticulously covering all the furniture and artwork in plastic to keep off the dust.
After wrapping the furniture, it was time to deal with our bedroom. I packed up my photos, video games, and computers. If I left the computers, the technology would be outdated and useless when we returned.
As I filled cardboard boxes with my clothes, I heard a knock on the door. I turned and saw Jasper, a neutral expression on his face.
"Alice and I are going to Denali. I just wanted to say goodbye first."
"Do you know how long you're staying?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
He shook his head, "I just need some time away from all this."
I sighed softly, if only I could change what happened yesterday. I still felt the residue anger and guilt seething in my body.
"I'll miss you, no matter how long you're gone." He hugged me, and for the briefest moment since Bella's birthday disaster, I felt calm. Jasper must have altered my mood.
"A piece of advice, you shouldn't feel guilty about what happened. If anyone should, it's me," he said, before leaving.
Two days later, it was time for us to leave. Esme and Carlisle decided to move to Ithaca, New York. The last time they had been there was in 1940s. Although there were less overcast days than Forks, there were more opportunities for us to explore around the area. Faster for us to forget what happened here.
We loaded our boxes into Carlisle's Mercedes since it was bigger. Carlisle and Esme were driving together in the Mercedes. Emmett was getting the Jeep shipped to our new house so we could drive up to Ithaca in my Lamborghini. Edward needed to break things off with Bella and was meeting us there.
The drive across the country was actually quite pleasant. On the long stretches of highway, especially at night, it was thrilling to be able to hit the maximum speed of over 200 miles an hour.
------
Finally, after 2,900 miles of driving, we approached Ithaca. Following Carlisle's car, we turned off the main road onto an unmarked gravel path through the heavily wooded area. In a minute, the house finally came into view.
"Woah," I gawked.
The Tudor style house -or more accurately, mansion- was three stories tall. The multi-gabled roof was steeply pitched, with the walls adorned in decorative half timber framing. To the right side of the house was a modest two car garage. For additional space there was a detached, four car garage off the driveway.
"What do you think?" Esme said, a beaming smile radiating on her face.
"It's beautiful," I replied as we made our way to the front door.
"Let me give you the tour."
The inside of the house was just as amazing, if not more, than the exterior. All the walls were lined with a rich oak panelling. The foyer spanned two levels, dark wooden imperial style staircase on both sides of the room led to the second level. An enormous chandelier wrapped in cloth suspended from the ceiling in the center of the room.
The house was large and complicated, like an elaborate labyrinth of hallways and rooms. If I didn't have a photographic memory, I definitely would have gotten lost. Every time I thought we were nearing the end of tour, there was another hallway or set of stairs. I stopped counting how many sitting rooms there were after the third. I could ever fathom needing a dining room, parlour, and billiards room.
"All the bedrooms are on this floor and downstairs," Esme explained when we got to the top floor.
"Your room is just at the end of the hall. I'll let you get settled in." She smiled and disappeared downstairs.
As soon as I opened the door, I smelt amalgamation of different scents; dust, wood varnish, and most prominently, Emmett's unique aroma.
"This was your room?" I asked.
He nodded and closed the door behind us. The room was very Emmett; minimally furnished and decorated with a large bed, desk, and dresser. There was an attractive gabled window set into a box–like space under the eaves that overlooked the forest below. On his desk were old newspaper clippings of different sport games.
"No football?" I frowned, scanning the articles and finding only basketball and baseball games.
"Football back then was not nearly as good as it is now." I chuckled.
"Closet?" I asked, pointing to the small door adjacent to the bed.
He nodded, "We don't have to go through my clothes," Emmett said, attempting to block my path. I ignored him.
"Wait," he said, "Before you judge me, just keep in mind Alice wasn't with us yet, and I wasn't good at buying clothes for myself."
I smiled, yanking open the closet door. There was an overwhelming amount of plaid, thick wool suits, V- neck vests, and sport coats.
"Please tell me you didn't wear this out," I said, holding up a chevron check sport coat.
"Hey that was fashionable back then!"
"I might have to take this." I grabbed a dark blue pullover. "Vintage clothes are all the rage now."
It was moments like this when the absurdity of my life showed through. The man I was married to was born more than 60 years before I was. Well everything happens for a reason. Right?