Ch. 19: Not my moment
Skylin:
Cade completely took me by surprise the moment he entered the office. I had no idea he would stick up for me let alone put cassy in her place. Walking out of the office I could no longer contain my appreciation. I jumped up into Cade's arms squeezing my legs around him thanking him a million times. I was so happy i felt like i could cry. Cade spun me around whispering, "i told you I'd catch you when you fall." I smiled However my smile quickly faded and tension filled my body when my eyes meant blue ones staring at me. My instinct took over and I ran to Nate giving him my best explanation for the scene he witnessed. I could tell Nate was not happy even with my explanation which I didn't blame him. His arm went around my shoulders leading me away from Cade with awkward silence filling the air. I kept glancing at him waiting for a remark. When he didnt say anything I grew even more anxious starting what was bound to happen myself,"Tell me whats going through your mind?"He gave me a look of uneasiness as we rounded the corner entering the library," noting," he spoke with a solem voice.
You could say I was a bit aggravated," Come on Nate tell me. Obviously there's something."
He then snapped at me removing his arm facing me," Skylin I don't know what you want me to tell you." He paused looking at the ground then back into my eyes where the hurt was bare,"how am I suppose to react when I see you in another guys arms? Not just any guy but Cade's?" His voice filled with hurt,"Gosh Skylin it was Cades arms. Cade the one everyone thinks your cheating on me with!" I grabbed his hand," Nate that's everyone else's opinion that doesn't matter."
He grabbed my other hand starring into my eyes,"I don't care if other people think that it's just..... I'm trying so hard Skylin," he looked vulnerable," but I'm starting to think it myself."
My insides collapsed, I felt as if I were drowning, drowning in anger. The bell sounded signaling lunch and with that I slapped him across the face. I knew he was shocked as my hand went to his face but I didn't say a word. I even surprised myself but In that moment my memory instantly took me to my tenth birthday party. A boy a couple years older than me was staring down at me making fun of me he kept yelling," You like him! You like him!" I was so mad I kept screaming,"Stop!" Continuously checking to make sure his little brother wasn't around. He at last hushed," Don't worry Skylin you'll choose him in the end." I was so outraged I slapped him as he tried winking at me. I had never slapped a boy before than but it seems as if it was practice for now.
After I slapped Nate I froze I couldn't believe I had just hit him. I got so mad he was accusing me of cheating on him when The only contact i had with him around Nate was drama class. I didn't know what to say or justify my action so i ran. Half of me hoped Nate would run after me and forget what happened but he didn't. I ran to my car and started driving i kept driving till i found the one place that reminded me of my parents.
Forty-five minutes later I got out of the car breathing in the fresh lake water smell. I found the picnic table my parents carved their name into the day they meant. They had brought me here many times always sitting at the same table. It was theirs that then became ours. We spent countless hours here swimming talking and laughing. The memories brought tears to my eyes, I missed them so much. I haven't been back since they passed but I needed them today. I had so many questions I needed to ask them I wanted to know where i belonged and what I should do about Cade. I wanted to be a mate to someone but with Cade it felt so wrong but so right. Some days I felt like we could work and others I just wished to be human. Those couple weeks Cade hadn't talked to me made me feel inferior as if I had done something to deserve this messed up situation. Every time i started to hate Cade for our messy connection he surprised me. One morning breakfast was made with a note that wrote:
Hope these pancakes are as sweet as you
He hadn't left his name however addy told me it was his writing. Another night I had came home late from a date and there were flowers with a note that said:
I hope these make you smile.
It again was Cade's writing. Through those couple weeks it felt like he was being passive aggressive, avoided me as much as possible but wanted me to know he was still there. I didn't know what to do but I never told anyone. In a way it made me feel as though I had a secret admirer. Then this weekend happen and I meant his whole family and it made me feel like I could belong there.
I was snapped out of my thoughts hours later when I heard, "mind if I join you?"
I looked up already knowing who the voice belonged to. Cade stood there with a genuine worried expression. I nodded, "how did you know where i was?"
"Instinct," he answered with a smug smile werewolf mates always knew where the other was, " how are you?"
"Been better"
"Do you wanna talk"
"Im just confused about everything."
Cade nodded understanding what I was talking about, " I'm sorry... why did u choose here to come?"
I ran a hand over the carved names, " it's my parents table the closest thing I have," I looked into his eyes and thy seemed distant for a split second.
"Sky will you tell me about your parents."
I shrugged, " they were awesome they taught me everything I know but they passed away four years ago."
Grief filled hi face as if he could feel my pain, " I'm so sorry sky I didn't know. How did it happen."
A tear fell down my face, "I can't remember."
"What pack were they from."
"I don't know they never told me where I belonged they just asked that I Stay in the area and keep up with all the pack surrounding me."
Cade looked shocked but instead of continuing to ask more questions he said, "I'm sorry."
I then proceeded to watch him stare at me for a couple seconds then looked around the area. He got up and offered a hand out to me. I took it against my better judgement. He lead me into a hug stroking my hair. After he let go he grabbed my hand taking me down to the lake where the sun was setting right on the water.
We both watched the sun set with background noise filling in the silence between us. It was nice i didn't feel any need to speak or explain myself.
After the sun set Cade casually got up offering me another hand. He wrapped his arm around me leading me to our cars. I wasn't sure what I expected him to say but this definitely was not it, "I care about you sky. Whenever you need someone I'll be here for you." He didn't wait for a response as he turned to get his car.
I so badly wanted to stop him I wanted to yell his name I wanted him to stop and hug me. Disappointment filled my heart as I watched him get in the car and leave.
As i drive home I was shook I didn't know how to feel and frankly I didn't want to think about it but it was the only thing I could think about.
When I entered the house a tasty smell hit my nose. The smell lead me to the kitchen where Cade stood his back toward me. He slowly turned around, " I hope your in the mood for homemade pizza." I smiled and he came over wrapping his arms around me. I whispered, " thank you."
After Cade let me go he spoke, " I wasn't sure when you would be back but I figured you might be hungry."
I nodded grabbing two slices and sat at the table realizing it was time to talk, " thank you for everything today."
"Don't worry about it. I just wanted to make sure you were ok."
Suddeny addy appeared in the kitchen, "sky is it true did you slap Nate?!" Thinking about how to respond i noticed cade watching me intently waiting for a reaction possibly the deny of it all. I answered simply," I did," before another word was spoken Cade spoke to her, " Addy another time." She instantly got the hint leaving the two of us.
I spilled, " Nate and I got into an argument he accused me of cheating and I got mad. The only thing he's seen is us in drama that's it! I didn't know what to do after so I left and then you found me."
Cade started laughing and i sputtered, " it's not funny."
" the image of you slapping that boy is just..." he couldn't stop laughing, " sky I avoided you for weeks trying not to interfere and he still think your cheating what an insecure bitch..." he kept laughing.
I didn't know exactly how to respond but he kept going calming down, " sky the fact he thinks your cheating makes me feel like he feels guilty for something like he's turning you into the villain. Instead of the victim."
I felt ready to defend him but something inside of me stopped. He may have a point...
I knew Cade was waiting for my response but I wasn't sure how to. I think hetook the hint seconds late when he cleared his voice, " be careful sky I'm not making a decision for you on how you want to handle anything but be safe I don't want to you see you hurt." He then picked up his plates putting them away and left me there to ponder.
I had a long night ahead of me.