A lesson to remember

Head or Tails ?

I got a lot in my mind, but i dont have a clue where to start from. Recently, a large number of problems has easily figured a way out to access my weakened mind until it got acquired and led me astray in making my critical fateful decisions. I am no longer aware of whats happening around me, my head is no longer clear, and i turned into being overhasty in my decisions and actions. I have never been like this. The close people to me were not aware of what happening inside my head, mostly they dont care or they dont want to waste their time in whats so called " My Business". I felt so lost and incapable in the determination of my actions. My behavior turned to be odious, maybe some of them perceived that, except that -as their habit- they didn't take a second to talk about it; however, i excuse them because everyone got his own problems to worry about. It feels like Im having an onerous burden on my shoulders, and blind from seeing things. I have always been a mysterious person - as my family and friends describe me-who conceals his concerns and never talk about them, nevertheless this person "sometimes" still needs someone to talk with him otherwise he will end up exploding (eventually people that are close to him will get hurt). I was hoping to find someone who can read my mind -without me telling him whats inside- to see how im submerged in an ocean of problems. I started to avoid talking a lot after i was "talkative ", preferred to be alone after my world was full of friends. I have always been there for them, they find me when they need me, even when I wasn't able to help them, i would at least try to reduce the struggle. Shockingly , when I needed a person to be next to me for a few moments for listening only -and nothing more than that-, i looked around, right and left, i only found debris, and empty places. At that moment, I realized a good lesson, don't make yourself easily reachable for others, because when you need them you will see nothing but their shadows. In the meantime, im endeavoring to move to the next page as well as rising up by overcoming the obstacles without seeking help. Thanks for everyone who has been part of this lesson, much appreciated , without you I would have not learned that and not improve.