Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.
Breathe the frick in.
Breathe the hell out.
Breathe in god dammit!
Breathe out for damns sake!
Breathe fucking in!
Breathe fucking out!
Okay, let's be cool now. You're just in front of your own house. It's not like your life is gonna end here.
Well, it kinda is.. but never mind.
Oh, yeah that's right. That isn't where we left off.
Well, I'm now in front of my house, the day after I went to Sam. It's not time to show up to my family and talk to Daniel.
I know I shouldn't give him the chance, but he's my brother. I'm kinda stuck with him for the rest of my life.
If he doesn't get to talk now, he will later. So if he's going to hurt me, he better does it now before I get all these images in my head of all the scenarios that could've happened behind my back.
Daniel was still here, I could see that by his car. It was still there. But today I need to talk to him, I'm definitely not ready yet, but I have to.
Step by step till I'm at the door. One last breathe in breathe out. I ring the doorbell. It only takes a few seconds till the door opens.
The friendly face of my mother looks at me. She was the one that opened the door.
"Hey, I talked to Daniel. He is incredibly sorry for the information you heard. He desperately wants to talk to you about it."
"Thanks mom, now I can't wait." I say with the only language I speak, sarcasm. I go inside, put my jacket and shoes away and go inside.
"He's not here." My mom says. "He's in his room, he's been there the whole time. I haven't seen him leaving."
Kinda good to know he feels bad if I'm honest. I ignore my mom and go upstairs.
Just 3 more steps till I'm at his door, the door from his room he hasn't been in since summer.
The first step is good, we need to talk, he needs to.
The second step doubts a bit, does he deserve my time? What if the truth will hurt me..
The third step is angry, stop it with the baby drama. He's your stupid brother and you need to fix this relationship before it'll be the same like Sam's family.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Just open the door, is my last thought before I actually do it.
There he is, a sad Daniel, laying on his bed. He might seem like a tough brother, but he's soft on the inside. He's not under the blanket, but his hugging his pillow.
He heard me come in so he looks up. "Liza?"
"You've got 5 minutes." I say and sit on the chair next to the bed. It's a big, soft, comfortable chair.
He immediately sits straight.
"I know you feel down about this,"
More than this Daniel, more than you could ever know.
"but you completely got it wrong. I have never done anything on purpose to hurt you."
I keep it all in, I gotta stay strong for whatever that is coming my way.
"This is what really happened."
Last summer...
Daniel was sitting in his room, packing the stuff he needed for college. He was just whistling, it was a good day in his eyes.
Little did he know what was coming his way in 3..
2..
1..
The door opens, it's Jesica. Daniel looks up from his suitcase. Jesica was staying the night, it was for an old fashion slumber party Elisabeth and Jesica had planned.
"Hey Jes." He innocently says. He stands up from his chair to welcome Jesica in the conversation she was wanting to have.
Jesica's face was blanc, you could tell she was confused. Her eyes gave that away.
She walks to Daniel, really closely.
She looks at the ground.
"Hey.." Daniel says. "What's going on?"
Daniel didn't feel weird about her standing his close, his caring personality trade made him a good, understanding brother. Even for Jesica, they're not related, but he'd still want to be a protective someone for her. If she was important to Elisabeth, then she was important to Daniel.
Jesica just shrugs, nothing more, nothing less.
Daniel decides to hug Jesica.
Jesica looks up, her eyes show no emotion anymore. She stands on her toes to become higher. She leans forward and kisses Daniel.
Daniel doesn't know what to do, he's surprised, confused. But most importantly, he knows that it's wrong.
He pulls away. "Wow wow wow," he says.
Jesica tears up. "I don't know Daniel, I'm so confused."
He sighs, he can't get mad at Jesica, it was the confused best friend of his sister.
"It's okay." He says.
"I don't know what to do Daniel." She says.
"What's wrong?"
"I have feelings for her..."
"Feelings for Elisabeth."
"You what?!" Daniel takes a few steps back out of confusion.
"I have feeling for Elisabeth!" She screams out, she's so upset she actually starts crying.
"But.. how?!"
"I don't know! I don't want to, but I can't help it! I love her.."
She's shaking from all the overwhelming emotions she feels. Daniel again can't help it, but be the caring brother he is. He hugs her.
"I feel so bad.. I will ruin everything.."
"Shh.. it's okay. We'll figure something out."
"You want to help me?" She asks.
"I do, you're my sister's best friend." He says with a friendly smile on his face.
"I'm sorry I kissed you, I just hoped to be able to feel something. I'm gonna ruin our friendship.. Elisabeth is gonna hate me!"
"She won't, she loves you."
"She does?"
"Well, not in the way you do, but she loves you. She's your best friend."
"Oh.. yeah.. thanks for the talk." She says and just leaves the room.
Daniel didn't really know what happened just a second ago. He's confused.
The best friend of his sister just told him she has feelings for her.
Now..
"That's what really happened that night." Daniel says.
I can't do anything, I don't know what just happened.
After all this time Jesica had feelings for me?
She doesn't hate me?
She wanted to feel love?
Why was she so scared of herself?
Why is she so mean to me?
Is it my fault?
Did I scare her away?
Is it my fault she's gone now?
Is it my fault?
It is.
It's all my fault.
I scared her and now she's gone..
Now I don't have friends.
I'm lonely because of me.
I don't deserve any friends.
It's all my fault.
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This was the chapter already, this was some deep shit holy-
I love you all:)