^^ Adrian - Hudson's best friend <3
^^ Holly <3
Maya's P.O.V.
I had just come back from work. It was half three in the afternoon.
I was very worried about meeting Alice at six, it was all I could think about.
I was glad that I never talked to Makayla too much, if I did, I could have been in a lot of danger.
Holly was at her mums house and I was sat with Jackson in the living room.
"So, Maya," he had a cheeky grin on his face.
"What?" I slowly said, unsure of what he was going to say next.
"Hudson, huh?" he nudged my shoulder.
Oh god.
"What about him?" I tried to act clueless. He raised his eyebrows, running his hand through his hair, his green eyes full of mischief.
"Don't try to act dumb, Maya. I know you better than that."
"There's nothing going on between us," I shrugged.
"Okay," he lifted his hands in surrender. "But just so you know, you're in denial."
"Whatever," I didn't have the energy to defend myself.
"Remember the first day you came here?" he asked after a while. I turned to look at him. His eyes were no longer playful, he looked serious.
"You looked lost, empty, whatever you want to call it," I nodded my head, wondering where this conversation was going.
"You don't look like that anymore."
"What do you mean?" I didn't get his point.
"There's not much more to it," he carried on. "I'm just saying you look happier."
"Your smile's brighter, you're more active. I've never seen you like this before."
When I thought about it, he was right.
I was happy.
I was more active.
I liked to wake up in the morning and see what the day had planned for me.
But it wasn't always like this.
I used to hate waking up.
I would sleep all day.
Never go out.
I felt lonely, depressed, empty.
I used to think there was no purpose of life.
Especially mine.
I was bored.
I would always wonder:
Why is emptiness so heavy?
But now I felt as though a weight had been lifted off of me.
I felt light, free, happy.
Everything had changed.
And I knew exactly why.
And so did Jackson.
Realising I had been quite for too long, I spoke up.
"So?" I sounded defensive.
He gave me a knowing smile. "I just want you to know," he paused. "I approve of him," he finished after a couple of seconds.
I rolled my eyes and whacked a pillow at him.
"I don't want to talk about it," I devoted my attention to the television. "Let's watch something."
But he was all I could think about as episode after episode came on of my favourite T.V show.
I hated to admit it but Jackson was right.
For once.
Ever since I met him I no longer felt alone.
When I was with him it was like I was safe of all the things that hurt me from the inside.
But that was just me.
I wanted him in a deeper way, a much more complicated way.
I didn't just want to kiss him, sleep with him, leave him, like I did with all the other guys.
I wanted our souls to fall in love with each other.
But that's just what I wanted.
I knew what he wanted, it was what most people wanted nowadays.
A bit of fun.
Like as if this guy was any different. I wasn't that lucky.
And yes, being happy felt amazing, not feeling empty was great, but it wasn't worth how I'd feel when it was all over and done with.
I'd met many heart broken people in my life. One thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want to experience what they did.
And I knew if I carried on walking on this fragile path, I'd end up like them.
So I decided to change paths, no matter how many times my heart begged me to stay on the same one.
I cared for myself more than that.
I had to stop holding on to the happiness that the blue eyed boy provided me.
I had to let go.
And just because I had to let go, didn't mean I wanted to.
...
I was sat in my car, it was raining outside. I had my leather jacket on but I was still freezing, I huddled up in my car seat for more warmth.
All of a sudden there was a knock at my car window.
Alice.
She had a black coat on and a wooly hat on her head as she sat in the passenger seat after I opened the door for her.
"Hey," I said, turning the heater of the car on higher.
She shifted in her seat so that she was fully facing me. "I was so worried," she embraced me in a wet and cold hug but I didn't complain.
"Why? What's going on?" curiosity was in my voice.
"Maya, Ed's not stupid. He's been seeing you go the coffee shop way too often. He thinks you're in contact with your parents," she said, her blue eyes full of stress and worry.
"I don't go the coffee shop to see them," I defended. Now I couldn't even be at my natural habitat in peace? Ridiculous.
"Well, Ed knows that they also go there a lot," she carried on. "He's being paranoid and has sent a lot of threats, you need to be careful."
"I haven't even seen them there once though!" I ranted. This was so unfair.
"I know, but do you think Ed knows that? He thinks you've been secretly talking to them. They do go there a lot and so do you," she explained.
"So what, I can't go to the coffee shop anymore?" I said angrily. I heard her sigh.
"I'm not saying that. Just, be careful. And stay away from that Makayla girl, she's Ed's daughter."
Ed's daughter? Ed's fucking daughter?
"I should stay close to her. I want to make friends with her then rip her heart out and feed it to her father," I fantasised.
"Maya!" she groaned. "As appealing as that sounds, no!"
"She's very smart. Don't make it obvious that you know who she is. Just be yourself," she advised me.
"Okay," I spoke again after a short while. Thank you," I gave her a small smile. She had always been there for me and I felt as though I hadn't thanked her enough. "Even though it's your job."
"It's not my job to sit here warning you," she said. "I care about you, Maya. And I want you safe. Have you considered moving out of town? It would be good for you."
I shook my head. "I want to stay here."
"There's nothing here for you. Why don't you move somewhere more exciting? You'd be free from all this drama and nonsense. You could have a fresh start," she asked.
The idea sounded nice but there was something nagging me at the back of my mind.
There was a reason I wanted to stay.
I wanted to stay for him.
Maybe moving towns would be a good idea after all?
Maybe moving towns was the best way for me to move on.
The easiest way to let go.
Even though I didn't want to.
"I'll think about it," I told her, earning a small smile from her.
"Thank you, Maya," she said taking my hand and squeezing it.
...
"I'm just going to drop Hudson's toothbrush off at his house," said Jackson.
We were in his car, Jackson had bought McDonald's for me and him, Holly was still at her mums. She was spending the whole day there.
"Okay," I said normally, he was clever and I didn't want him suspecting anything.
In all honesty, I was excited to see him and that annoyed me.
I was trying to move on for gods sake.
We parked outside of Hudson's apartment and what I saw in front of my eyes was the last thing I was expecting to see.
There was Hudson, holding open the door of his apartment for a girl with blonde hair.
He had a smile on his face - or was it a smirk - as she walked into the apartment, his eyes never leaving her.
It felt like bees had stung all my organs inside of me, my heart was racing, I felt sick to my stomach.
I knew it! I knew he never really liked me! I knew it was all a game to him!
I could feel my face getting heated up, the heart I never even knew I had shattering into pieces.
I could feel Jackson shifting awkwardly beside me.
"I can give it to him tomorrow," he suggested, his voice low.
"No, that's okay. You can give it now," my voice broke at the end. Fuck.
"Hey," he put his hand on my arm.
I shook my head. "It's okay. You can give it."
But instead of doing that, he started the car again and we drove back home. I had still not recovered from what just happened.
There was a horrible feeling at the pit of my stomach.
I felt jealousy.
And anger.
And I hated it.
But then I was also glad, this was making it easier for me to move on.
This made it easier for me to not give into him.
To not fall for the innocent look his eyes held.