I can't believe this is the last chapter (before the epilogue). This has been awesome fun to write and Im so grateful that anyone read it. I know a few thousand reads isn't massive on this website but I expected nobody but little ol' me to read it so thank you for the votes, reads ad comments and the really cool support.
Cheers m'dears and I hope you like it.
Epilogue will be posted ASAP. :)
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The door slammed shut and I threw myself back on the bed, letting out the biggest breath I think I'd ever let out in my life. My limbs suddenly went numb and I realised just how exhausted I was, not just physically but emotionally. It was hard to believe that after all this, this really was the end. We'd sleep tonight and then we'd be jetted off to another country, somewhere safe. Excitement filled my stomach before it was replaced with complete dread and I realised that even though I was living in terror, I didn't want to leave. How could I possibly leave... bodies behind? We were walking away from this horror but there were people surely still trapped, were they going to get help?
No. We'd stumbled across help, where would we be if Keith hadn't convinced me to come with these guys? Would we be dead, holed up in a shop still? Would they carry on with that bombing after all? What would be left of my home country?
I sprung upwards on the mattress when Keith dropped next to me, groaning as he did.
'Tired?' I mumbled, bemused.
'I don't know' he muttered back, pulling me into him. I sighed, content.
'You meant it all?' I asked him; knowing he did, hoping he did.
'Of course I did' he sounded almost sheepish and I smiled, '...Did you?'
I pulled away from him so I could look straight at him, 'every word'.
'Why?' I noticed he tried to hide his smile by crunching up his nose, 'I work at a supermarket and I cle-'
I put my finger up to his lips and swatted him around the head.
'I like shelf stackers'.
'And I like you, Miss Sawyer'.
'Keith...' I sat up on the bed, my fatigue forgotten. Sensing the tone, he sat up too and we both remained cross legged, looking at one another.
'I feel like...' I tried to find the words, 'I feel like I can't leave this place. I'd be abandoning my parents and my best friend...' a lump formed in my throat but I vowed not to cry, 'I feel like I'm shoving all the information away and I haven't had time to process it... I haven't even accepted' the lump got bigger, 'I mean, I haven't even let myself believe that they're...' I took a breath, 'Dead'.
He looked at me intently for a short while before answering, taking his hands and stroking mine.
'I'm scared to leave too, sunshine' he admitted and as much as I tried to hide my shock, I couldn't.
'Why?'
'Because I don't want to leave anyone behind either... plus, I can't imagine myself settling back into normal like after this, y'know? We've spent so long being... abnormal that I can't see myself going and working in Sainsbury's again, I can't picture myself in a little flat alone eating microwave meals every night because I can't cook. I need more'.
I nodded vigorously, overwhelmed because he'd pinpointed my most buried, hidden fears.
'I don't want to go live in a house without my parents' I whispered, 'I don't want to go to another country and have to tell Joel that his parents... I don't wanna scroll through my phone and see Skylar on the contacts and go to call her but...' I couldn't speak anymore through the sobs and I was pulled firmly into an embrace.
'Maybe we don't have to do any of that' he whispered into my hair, kissing my head every few seconds.
'No?' I asked, still choking, 'But... I like you as a trolley boy'.
He snorted with laughter and pushed my head back to he was facing me.
'No, silly. I already said any money I have, I want to spend on you and Joel having a future but now Lucas is here, well, he'll want to be doing that. Which means I have a lot of money left over' he smiled shyly.
'What does that mean?'
'Well, it means we have a lot of... us money'.
'Us money?'
'Yeah. I figure we deserve that boat trip' he grinned, 'Or just a break, or maybe... I don't know. I just... it sounds so ridiculous but I can't imagine sleeping without you anymore. I've had you by my side all the time, even at night and I don't think I can separate myself from that. I don't really know what to do when you're gone'.
'I know' I whispered, 'I'm always going to be scared you're in danger'.
'I'm always gonna wanna protect you' he laughed softly and I realised just how much this whole experience had affected us. Maybe it hadn't been obvious short term, but looking back, I knew how much I'd changed. I was... braver but more vulnerable, more confident but less... I wasn't even sure. I was nervous and now I'd always expect the worst, it was inevitable. I felt like nobody would ever understand me again other than these boys I'd been on this journey with. Maybe some of my other friends made it...
No. I couldn't let myself believe, it wasn't worth the agony.
'I don't wanna sleep' Keith whined like a child and I snorted with laughter, realising I wasn't tired anymore.
'Me either'.
'Tell me stuff'.
'Tell you what?'
'I feel like I know you so well...' he trailed off, deep in thought, 'Like really know you. I know that when you're angry, you clench and unclench your fists like a little fire bolt and when you lie you wave your arms around and that you try so hard to hide your fear just for the sake of others and you have total disregard for your own safety-'
I laughed loudly, amazed that he'd found the time to notice this.
'Well, trolley boy... When you're worried you bite your lip and when you get stressed and huffy you always run your hand through your hair and even though you're brave I think you're vulnerable deep down and you also have no regard for your own safety' I frowned, triumphant.
'Well...' he looked confused for a moment, 'Yeah, maybe you're right, sunshine. But I do not run my hand through my hair'.
'You do!' I protested, 'Very nice hair'.
'Thanks' he ran a hand through his hair in appreciation and then when I burst out laughing, he retracted it slowly, mortified.
'I never used to do that' he pouted before laughing again, 'Anyway, my point was that I know you so well but I don't know the... little things, you know? Like your favourite film'.
'Love actually' I replied, not missing a beat.
'No shit! Me too' his mouth dropped open.
'Seriously?' I said excitedly.
'No' he snorted with laughter, 'Of course not'.
'Douche'.
'I'm kidding, it's not a bad film'.
We spent about an hour just talking about the parts of our lives that hadn't come up before and found out we actually had a lot in common; namely our nerd tendencies and the passion we had for certain things. I was enamoured when Keith talked about his art and how passionate he seemed about it and listened intently when he told me about his dreams to become an artist. I told him about how I wanted to direct my own movies and we joked that we should team up, take the world by storm. Somehow, I managed to accidentally mention my parents though and my stomach dropped.
I remembered earlier when I had thought to myself that I was ready. I was less confident now but there was this massive weight on my shoulder which I needed to move. I couldn't be scared.
'You ready?' he asked me almost silently and I couldn't believe how well this boy could read my mind.
'Yeah' I whispered back and took a massive breath, the biggest I would ever take, 'I... I don't know what to say'.
'You've repressed everything so far, you haven't let yourself think, Harley. Trust me, it'll hurt like nothing else but you can't hold onto this forever'.
'I know...'
'Tell me... tell me about the phone conversation'.
'No!' I cried immediately but then when Keith didn't break his gaze, I was forced to hold my eyes closed, trying to do as he asked.
'Okay, okay...' I closed my eyes again and let darkness wash over me. I could barely remember, my mind had repressed it all. The shop, the shop... the image flooded my mind but it was so hard to remember... ringing, the phone... Mum's voice, oh god, mum's voice! She was talking, she was near tears and then Dad...
It all came flooding back as my wall started to crumble; Mum's voice echoed through my head along with my Dad's as they joked and laughed, told my they loved me. I could see them back in our house as we all ate dinner together, as we all got in the car and went on one of our many shopping trips, when we were young and played water guns in the back garden...
'Eat this, Harley baby, and you'll grow up big and strong and we can all go fight dragons together'.
'Which girls were mean to you, Harley? I'll talk to their mother!'.
'When you get married I'll be right in the front row, crying like a little girl...'
I lost my breath, overcome with grief and tears and I hyperventilated, barely able to see Keith in my haze.
'I can't... I can't...' I wheezed and choked, 'They said they were gonna be there... they're suppo- they're supposed to be there, I miss them, I'm always gonna- I'm always gonna miss them' I broke down into tears in Keith's arms, 'I don't- I don't know how to be without them, I love them, I love them so much... they were- they were my friends too. Supposed to be... supposed to be at my wedding... supposed to be here' I was inconsolable as I shook violently, disbelieving not only that they were gone but that I was letting myself feel it.
'Keep going sunshine, keep going' Keith sounded choked up as well and I noticed his grip on me tightened.
'I wish I'd said so much more...' I could still barely talk, 'Mum.... She took me shopping and we were all going to go on holiday this December... I was supposed to cook dinner and now they're gone and I can't do it, I can't...'
'Yes you can, sweetheart, you can' Keith rocked me back and forth, running his hand through my hair, whispering again and again that he loved me and he wasn't gonna let me ever hurt like this if I didn't have to.
'They loved you and they still love you... think about the good times you have, all those memories you will never lose'.
I did.
Nothing had ever hurt so much but I concentrated through the tears, playing back the memories which sprung to mind like an old, grainy movie; my Mum and my Dad, my best friends and my family. My heart shattered every single time but as I seemed to become aware of reality and the boy holding me, I began to be taken over by an entirely different feeling. One which said, I couldn't change what had happened, so maybe I could do what this whole thing had forced all of us to do-
Appreciate exactly what we had, don't dwell on the awful things in life because in a moment, it could all be ripped away. So much to Keith's surprise, I turned to him with tear stained eyes and sent him a genuine smile, the most genuine in weeks.
'Are you okay?' he asked, concerned.
'I think... I think I miss my parents like I thought nothing was possible but I think... I think I feel better about it than I did an hour ago, Keith. I was... hiding it all from myself and trying to pretend it hadn't happened and... these have been the worst minutes of my life, forcing myself to come to terms with it but... I'm trying to, and I'm doing it. And they're gone but I got a goodbye and so many people didn't get that, I got to enjoy these wonderful years with all the people I love and that's so rare so... I'm going to enjoy what I have, and what I've had'.
'That's why I love you' Keith's voice was quiet and my own eyes filled up when I saw a stray tear fall down his cheek, only disappearing when my finger brushed it away.
'Do you... do you need to talk?' I asked him, wiping my own tears away.
'I don't think so' he said thoughtfully, 'I think that I made my peace when I talked to them on the phone... it's just...'
'Talk, Keith' I ordered him softly, and to my delight, he took a breath and began to tell me story after story, his eyes lighting with amusement and regret, happiness and pure sadness but like me, he was letting go. Somehow, I knew this is exactly what Lucas and Percy were doing just a few rooms away and when Keith's voice dulled into silence, I leaned over and gave him the sweetest kiss I could muster which he returned without missing a beat, winding his arms around me.
'I could get used to this' he smiled into the kiss and I laughed, pulling back.
'I think I could too'.
'You don't...' he looked uncomfortable, 'I wasn't taking advantage, was I...?'
'No!' I gasped, 'Don't be stupid!
'Your brother ...'
'Was being protective'.
'Right' he nodded and grabbed up my hand again, sending me an innocent smile.
'You tired?'
I suddenly felt... different.
'No' I shook my head slowly, 'I'm not'.
'Harley, I never got to say it but... If it had turned out you were... you know, infected, I couldn't have... I mean, I wouldn't live without you. It sounds ridiculous but I couldn't. I'm just trying to tell you that I'm so relieved you're okay'.
I couldn't control it, I had this sudden surge of love towards the boy with the messy hair who kept saving my life, the boy who made me laugh and put me first and... the boy who loved me.
'I love you' I told him sincerely and he beamed.
'I maybe never tire of hearing that'.
'You don't have to' I said meekly, running a hand through my hair. I was suddenly paranoid about my appearance, realising that I must have looked a wreck then realising secondly that Keith had seen me a wreck all this time and still managed to love me. My heart swelled at the thought.
'I'm just gonna run to the loo' I told him before heaving up onto my aching legs and shaking my foot which had a kind of dull ache to it. On my way to the bathroom which was the only separate room to the main room with a TV and bed, I stopped off at the window and found the courage to look outside. My stomach did somersaults when I saw what must have been thousands of infected crowding the building, clawing at the walls... yet somehow, I felt safe.
After I flushed the chain and soaked my hands in warm, luscious water, I went straight to the mirror and eyed up my reflection. I looked older, more worn and mascara was smeared down my face. With a sigh, I bathed my face in water till all of it disappeared down the plughole and I was staring at a fresh-faced Harley. Stepping into the shower, I spent about ten minutes washing my hair and body, wiping away the evidence of the day till I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my bare body. I was ready to step back into my clothes when I realised that actually, that wasn't what I wanted to do. I had to spend a few seconds leant up against the sink trying to calm my nerves and when I did, I pushed open the door and looked straight at Keith who took me in, dripping wet and wrapped in a towel which was far too small. His eyes didn't leave mine and when I broke the distance between us and stood in front of where he was sat on the bed, his voice came out as husky.
'What are you doing, sunshine?'
'The only thing which feels right' I whispered to him and didn't hesitate to pull him into me, winding my arms around his neck in a kiss I had wanted all day. He stopped breathing and pulled me right into him, kissing me just like I wanted him to, just like I needed him to. Seconds or minutes passed and somehow we ended up horizontal and I was pressed to the bedcovers with Keith's hands on my face, then my neck, then...
'Sunshine' he broke back, gasping for air, 'We're gonna need to stop this or-'
'No, we don't' I silenced him and there was a confidence in my voice which seemed alien to me, 'I don't want to stop'.
'You don't?' he looked like he was fighting a battle with himself.
'No... do you?'
'Not even a little bit... are you... are you sure?'
'A hundred percent'.
'Oh Jesus' He muttered before grabbing my face in his hands and kissing me with even more passion that he had right on a bed like this before, telling me he loved me between each kiss where I just wanted him more. I could feel the towel loosening but I just didn't care and when it finally fell after another bout of frenzied kisses, Keith stopped and just looked at me, running a hand slowly down my body with awe in his eyes.
'You are the most beautiful girl in the world' he whispered hoarsely, and I felt it. My hands found their way around his stomach and his arms wound around my bare skin felt more right than I ever thought possible and as I gave everything I could to him, I realised that maybe, just maybe, we would be alright.
***
'Mmm' A mumble escaped my lips as I turned over, still enveloped by the covers and an arm which was draped over my bare stomach. Smiling, I moved further into the body behind me and winced at the morning light flooding through the window.
'Finally, you're awake' that voice mumbled from behind me and I jumped, twisting to face the glimmering eyes and crooked smile of Keith who looked ruffled and beautiful.
'Didn't know you were awake' I said softly, unable to keep the smile off my face.
'That's cause you were asleep, sunshine' he replied softly, brushing my hair behind my ears and running his hand down my shoulders, 'Your skin is so smooth'.
'So is yours, Mr...' my eyes widened at the realisation I didn't know Keith's last name and he started to laugh uncontrollably.
'Do you make a habit of spending the night with boys you don't know the surnames of?'
'Shut up' I flicked his nose lightly as laughed when he grabbed my hands and brought it to his lips.
'This is important Harley, my last name might be your last name someday'.
'What?' I choked out and he laughed again.
'Excuse me for wanting to keep you forever' he murmured with a short laugh, kissing my hand again.
'No... I like it'.
I waited patiently for him to talk.
'Lamden. Keith Lamden'.
'Very nice' I nodded approvingly before pressing myself into him again, winding my arms around his neck.
'Miss Sawyer' Keith let out a short breath, 'If you keep doing that...'
'What?' I asked playfully.
'That... you know what you're doing to me, sunshine' he whispered to me before he kissed me again just as he had last night and I sunk into it, feeling so incredibly happy as his arms found my body again.
'The door's locked!'
The voice from outside caused us both to spring apart in shock, then amusement as we both laughed like naughty schoolchildren.
'Are you asleep?' The voice was clearly Percy's and his presence just outside the door reminded me just how little I was wearing. Keith sighed and pulled me into him for the last time, kissing me on the lips with such tenderness.
'Last night was amazing. Thank you for letting me in the car' he smiled sheepishly and I felt myself blushing.
'It was. Thanks for acting crazy enough to make us let you in'.
'Any time, sunshine, this trolley boy is all yours'.
***
I couldn't help but look out the window nervously every few seconds; the crowd outside gathering was immense and the only thing I could compare it to was a famous concert gathering just outside and we were the stars on the stage. It was that huge.
'I can't just sit here anymore' Lucas shook his head and moved to stand up.
'Woah' I held a hand up, panicked, 'Don't leave'.
'Harley, I-'
'No' I turned back round to the window, away from him.
'I was just gonna go up to the roof'.
'You're not leaving again. Ever'.
I was being serious but all of the boys laughed jovially and I mimicked them quietly and childishly to myself, not taking my eyes away from the undead. Days without food had made them... ferocious. Instead of becoming weaker, I could actually see the desperation in their movements as they clawed at the air, some even trying to tear apart each other. It wasn't lost on me that if they were spilling outside, then the downstairs of this very hotel and all the floors above it must have been full of them. They'd gotten through the vents, perhaps piled on top of one another, couldn't they do that again?
'Hey' I felt a hand on my shoulder and smiled up at Keith who was smiling sweetly back down at me, 'Stop stressing sunshine'.
'How'd you know?'
'Fists'.
I stared down at my hands which were balled into fists and sheepishly let go, feeling a whole lot of tension rush away from me as I did.
'Thanks'.
'No worries. Harley, Percy and I are gonna run up to the roof-'.
'No'.
'Harley' his voice was firm, 'It's safer up there than it is here, trust me, leaving you is harder than you think' he frowned before his lips turned up into a smile, 'Especially after last night...'
'Sh!' I hissed but erupted in quiet, sneaky laughter anyway.
'You and Lucas need to talk. I know you're scared sunshine but this will help too. I'm so proud of you for last night, for all of this...' he shook his head, 'I'll meet you back down here soon, trolley boy is gonna go help the big guns'.
'Sure thing' I winked at him, ignoring the swelling in my stomach. He was right. I was scared to talk to my own brother, scared to talk about Mum and Dad with him, scared to mention how we were going to help Joel. Keith was my release, Lucas... well, Lucas was reality. I loved him with all of my heart but for some reason, I was just nervous.
'Harley' my brother walked up beside me after the door slammed and I knew we were alone.
'Loo Loo' I smiled but his expression was serious. I gripped instinctively onto his hand and almost broke down at the realisation I could still do this, let a grin spread over my face. He relented and grinned back down at me and we both just laughed, lost in out own moment.
'You look older, Lee Lee' he said, still smiling but looking a little sad.
'So do you' I answered honestly. There was stubble around his lips and bags under his eyes, skin was pale and hair ruffled and newly showered.
'Can we sit?' he asked and I nodded, tearing my eyes away from an infected man outside who had blood running down his entire body as he gnawed on a severed leg relentlessly.
'I don't know how to apologise to you the right way' he said nervously and I did a double take.
'Apologise?'
'We didn't get to grieve together, Harley. We lost our parents and you needed me but everything was so fast paced, we didn't have time to talk and then... and then I left you'. He choked out the last part and I realised just how much it was killing him so I tried to be tactful.
'If we'd grieved together, we would have died, Lucas' I told him steadily, realising it was true as the words left my mouth, 'We'd have been so wrapped up in our own misery... I've grown up and I don't know if that's a bad thing but I can... talk for myself now, I can make decisions and be strong and... I didn't think I could cope but maybe I can, maybe we can'.
'Of course we can... I can see you've grown up' a smile tugged at his lips, 'But you could always talk for yourself Lee Lee, just not to strangers. Since when was Keith the exception?' he joked but I could feel a serious air to the conversation.
'I couldn't tell you' I whispered, 'I don't know. We just... got each other. We made jokes when everything was awful and he helped me so much...' I felt a little embarrassed talking to Lucas about this.
'He liked you from the beginning you know, I pretended to sleep in the car while you two were talking. I could feel it coming even then, sis, call it brotherly intuition. I just didn't think he'd fall in love with you' he shook his head, bemused, 'He does love you though. I know I missed a lot but... you have good people around you Harley. Mum and Dad... they'd be elated. Mum loved Keith' he burst into laughter and I joined him, still firmly holding his hand as we perched on the edge of the bed. This bed... I flushed.
'You shouldn't eavesdrop'.
'Good bloody thing I did!'
We both laughed again.
'Lucas?'
'Yeah?'
'How much do you miss them?' I asked him, searching his eyes.
'More than I thought would ever be possible. How are you holding up?'
'I miss them, Lucas' I felt my voice cracking with my heart, 'But... I'm so glad I have you back. A few days ago I had no family and now we have a future! I'm happy too. Is that awful?' I prayed he'd say no, reassure my guilty mind.
'God no! Shit, Harley, don't ever think that! I guess it still hasn't sunk in properly yet, it will when we're safe... without them. When we visit home again. But you're right Lee Lee, we have each other, and nutty Percy and Keith, what a guy... although you seem to have gotten yourself a boyfriend in the zombie apocalypse...'
'He's not my boyfriend!' I protested and then frowned. Was he?
'Could have fooled me' he laughed again, 'Seriously... I'm sorry I freaked out so much. He was there for you when I wasn't, he earned your trust and I'm so glad he loves you Harley, you need a good guy to get you through this but if he hurts you...'
'He won't'. He wouldn't, 'Are you two... are you okay?'
'We're just fine. We had a man to man talk while you were in the bath earlier; I lost my judgement for a minute Harley, I forgot who he was, you know? He was suddenly just another guy going for you when you were vulnerable but then I remembered... it's Keith. Any guy who risks his life for you... well, he's good in my books. He looked after you'.
'He really did'.
'I just wish I could have'.
The pain on his face was obvious and I realised in an instant that this was what he couldn't let go of. He was coping with losing our parents and the world we knew but this, this was eating away at him.
'Lucas... you didn't... abandon me or anything' I said awkwardly, trying to say the right thing.
'I did' he replied, not missing a beat, eyes emotionless.
'You were hurt!'
'I promised you that wouldn't happen'.
'We couldn't control it' I replied hopelessly.
'I could have done more...'
'No you bloody couldn't' I shot back almost angrily, 'You did everything for me, everything. I'd be dead without you, you kept me alive Lucas, even just being there. Some idiot pointed a gun at you and somehow you're back here, it's a miracle so don't you dare feel guilty'.
'I... I promised Mum and Dad, I told them I'd keep you safe...'
'You have. You kept me going, you've saved my life. You know I'd be dead without you and Keith. Lucas, please don't think that. Something horrible happened to you. It was bad luck it had to be you, I'm still here and so are you'.
'We'd be dead without you' he chuckled quietly but like me, he looked as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
'I know' I winked.
'Oh Harley... you've grown up so much' he shook his head and I saw tears in his eyes. I didn't protest as he began to cry along with me and we stayed for several minutes like this as I was pulled into the arms of my brother as we sobbed together, finally grieving and breathing together the way we should have been from the beginning.
***
'Pass me that'.
'Will it fly?' I asked, warily looking up and down the helicopter in front of me. It was massive, bigger than I ever imagined a helicopter would be but I was cautious because the irony that we could battle our way through this horrendous nightmare and then lose our lives in a vehicle crash wasn't lost on me.
'Course she'll fly' the blonde guy nodded at me like I was crazy and I wondered if we should have spent time sat down, getting to know these people. But time was a luxury and we just didn't have enough of it for superficial things like that.
'The weight...' William said quietly but he was cut off by a load sound from the engine.
'Hey there, sunshine' Keith appeared next to me and draped an arm over my shoulder. We stood watching the commotion, all four of us; Lucas, Percy, Keith and I. We were just stood in a row, staring at our exit, our hope. In a monumental moment and a moment I swear was fate or some kind of sign, rain started to slowly fall from the sky, the first I'd seen in a long time or maybe I just hadn't noticed.
It had rained the day this started for us, walking down the road and then Mum and Dad beeping me. I was heading off for a day of school and then somehow, we all ended up here.
Somehow, we'd all ended up tied together and those ties were pretty unbreakable. Perhaps it rained the day this started and perhaps, it was raining the day it would all end. Maybe fate existed and this was all some kind of plan or maybe it didn't and it was just science, or bad luck. Either way we were here, all of us. If I'd looked a few weeks into the future just a month ago, I wouldn't have seen myself stood on a roof the way I was now. I wouldn't have seen probably with a closer bond to my brother than I'd ever had before, a bond which meant the idea of leaving him broke my heart. I didn't expect to be stood next to a geeky and enormously endearing boy who pursed his lips and wrinkled his nose at us when we first met. Now he just smiled warmly, gratefully. But most of all, I didn't see myself in love. I didn't see myself tucked under the arm of a boy who loved me the way nobody else could love a person had they not seen the things we saw. I didn't see myself risking my life for him, for everyone. And then that led onto the final thing I couldn't have predicted - I didn't see... me. I was different; I could see it in my reflection and in my veins, my heart. I felt like I was capable, like I could stand in the ruins of life and dust myself down, take a breath and keep going. Before? I'd have crumbled. I was braver, more stupid, more reckless. I was wiser and thought better on my feet, I was older and darker and had seen so much more. Vulnerable and in love, scared that I had so much to lose... but I was strong. I had lost people and they had lost us but I wasn't alone. I'd never be alone again.
'You ready?' Lucas asked me quietly and I knew exactly what he meant. Not the helicopter ride or leaving - he meant starting our new life. Facing whatever awaited us, whatever exactly that was. Would there be media? People waiting? Crowds? Would anybody care, would we be alone?
'I don't know'. It was the honest answer, 'But I'm going anyway'.
'That's my girl' my brother grinned down and ruffled my hair, making me laugh loudly.
'Do you want to...' Percy's eyes were vulnerable. I almost burst out laughing at the way we had all mocked each other in a somewhat unfriendly manner back in the car. He was reserved with us as I imagined he was with everyone he met. Now... he was relaxed.
'Want to what?' Keith asked.
'Oh bugger it' he waved a hand, 'Are we... friends? Are we going to be seeing each other after this?'
'Of course' Lucas frowned as though it was the obvious.
'Good' he smiled, adjusting his glasses, 'Or I would have stalked you'.
We laughed. And it felt good.
Julia Jenner
Joel sat quietly in my arms and I still marvelled at the feel of this boy, alive and well here with me, asleep. The words of his still swam around my head, his story of Harley and Lucas and a boy named Keith, the demise of my sister and her husband...
The last known army rescue group were three days late. I couldn't let myself believe that somehow my niece and nephew had found their way to them. I couldn't let myself believe.
Yet still, I did.
Sandler Young
The decision to end the bombing hadn't been taken lightly. It was looking in my children's eyes, their desperation. My wife's ever judging gaze. I relented and they embraced me, thanking me and crying. I was just glad they were alive and I'd found myself in tears, suddenly aghast that I was willing to ruin this for thousands of people. My family was right. Family always was.
The last army group expected to land here in New York were days late, not expected to return anymore. Some of the country's best men were among that group, led by Bruce Garleson. He was ruthless and troubled but with his past, anyone would be.
I stared down the papers in front of me, tempted t launch them across the room. The world was on its head, every news article was the infection, every page on the internet, every meeting, every conversation in the street. The world was waiting with baited breath for the return of the final survivors.
Because the world was smart enough to know that everybody else was dead.
Perhaps even them.
There was a ringing from the phone and reluctantly I picked the device up. The news I heard was never good anymore.
'Sir, sir, you won't! believe it!' a breathless voice cried out from the earpiece, causing me to flinch first in apprehension, then unbelievable hope.
And I figured that this time, our luck was going to change.
Harley Sawyer
'I heard something' my ever-ready mind was on alert and I jumped to attention as I heard something unnerving just down the stairs which led from the roof to the top floor of the hotel.
'It's clear down there' was the reply from one of the officers which caused me to roll my eyes and Lucas to squeeze my hand tightly.
'We're all on edge, Lee' he said reassuringly and I nodded with a small smile, knowing he was right.
In contrast, Keith sounded deadly serious.
'Where'd you hear it?'
'Just down the stairs'.
He narrowed his eyes marginally and I became nervous when he called out 'Guys, is everyone accounted for?'
'Everyone is on the roof' Sam called back and I felt Keith tense.
'Shut the door!' He yelled out and I jumped, my heart in my throat. He left my eyesight and sprinted to the stairs as fast as I'd ever seen him run and a scream ripped from my throat as the door burst open, sending Keith flying backwards.
'Kei-' I started to yell when my voice was stolen from me, too shocked at the sight of the crowd of dead humans on their feet biting and groaning to leave my lips. Without thought, I dove to Keith and helped yank him backwards and chaos erupted around us, the officers lining up with guns in the small space we had next to the helipad as the four of us and the scientists backed behind them, unarmed and useless.
'Low on ammo, low, cover me!' A pained voice yelled out as I began to lose the ability to tell the difference between the dead and living. They were spilling out of the doors, so many of them and while the front of the pack dropped down dead with bullets lodged in their forehead, the ones behind the doors kept coming. So many.. bloodied and torn at, so decayed they'd lost all colour; they were corpses hissing and dragging themselves towards us. Their close proximity brought out the kind of fear in me which was unexplainable, they were the most terrifying creatures which could ever exist, no book or movie would ever do them justice. A boy, just a toddler with a gash in his head as he screeched and sniffed at the air, an old man whose face had been almost completely ripped off along with his stomach which was falling from his body. A large man with a leg missing, dragging himself across the floor. A woman wearing a business suit, her hair matted and torn out, her teeth clamping in on...
Oh god.
'Help, help!' The infected closed in on the group and an officer was yanked into the crowd of infected as we were forced to endure his death and his blood-curdling screams as their teeth sunk into his neck and blood spilled onto the floor along with bone and...
'We can't just watch' Keith was angry, 'Darren, throw me his gun!'
'Can't, just get in the helicopter!'
Another scream rang out over the heads of the men in front of us and the tearing couldn't be ignored, the sounds of spilling flesh and blood.
'Oh god' Percy muttered to himself, massaging his forehead, 'How did they get up here...?'
'God knows' I muttered but for some reason, I wasn't surprised. My bag was on my back at least and I wasn't sure why, but I was relieved I had my things no matter how tainted they were.
'Come on, this side' Keith led us behind the officers fighting away the infected as we crouched behind the helicopter, slowly opening the door. We needn't have made the effort to be discreet because the noise of bloodshed and battle was surely ringing out for miles.
'No!' I cried out as something yanked on my ankle and pulled to the floor. When I stared into the eyes of the infected, I saw nothing but the eyes of the dead, the lost, the hopeless.
'Get off' I growled as I kicked it away, using my shoe to kick the man straight in the head. I hoped he used to be a paedophile before this, a murderer or someone evil. Purely for my own self-gratification, my own conscience. It took two violent stamps to the temple for his head to cave, my shoe showered with blood.
'In' Lucas directed me and we crawled into the vehicle, easily finding room for the six of us of us as we crawled across the floor and shut the door behind us, William and Santos balancing the cures next to us. I saw the blonde man drag himself away from the throng of evil and slam open the driver door, shutting it behind him. He was joined quickly by Darren who yelled for Sam and to my relief, the boy jumped in next to us and pulled in two more officers, the ones I had talked to earlier. The sound of flesh ripping echoed between us and when I saw blood being splattered on the windows and the infected banging on the windows to be let in, I wondered if it would be just us.
'How heavy?' Bruce's voice appeared from the other side of the helicopter as he pulled himself upwards. The sound of the rotor blades turning sounded and the answer for him was one of regret.
'I can't lift us upwards, we're too heavy!'.
It happened so slowly, so strangely. Bruce looked down at his feet which were just on the inside of the helicopter as we all listened to the infected, distracted with their meal. The smallest, most unusual and ironic smile appeared on his face as he laughed quietly, stepping off of the helicopter and back onto the ground.
'How about now?' he asked.
'Shit, that's perfect! What did you get rid of?'
'Me' he answered quietly, 'Go'.
I couldn't believe this was Bruce stood just beneath us with humanity in his eyes. Regret. He was still this brute of a man but instead of anger and loathing filling his eyes, he looked... quiet. He looked mournful, regretful, haunted.
'Bruce...' Percy was the first to speak, looking at him confusedly.
'Sorry, four eyes' he shook his head, 'And you lot... Well pretty boy, you aint so bad. And you Lucas... look after your sister, she was going fucking mental over you' you laughed to himself, 'And princess... You got balls girl. Keep them. I'm sorry. My daughters would be looking at me right now from heaven and spitting on me. Hating me. I'm gonna go see them and my wife now. Don't miss me too much' he tried to joke but it sounded wrong from him, it felt wrong. My heart was beating so unsteadily and I was staring into his empty eyes with something other than hatred. It was sadness for this man who had obviously lost it all and lost his way. Who'd seemed gleeful at the idea of torturing us, but now it seemed he tore us to take a break from torturing himself, tearing himself down. It didn't seem to be a random u-turn. Perhaps all this time, he just wanted to get in here and save someone. He didn't even want the glory anymore.
'It's okay' I muttered and he nodded, taking a breath.
'Thank you' Keith nodded towards Bruce and I didn't miss the look which passed between them. It was the last thing I saw before the helicopter lifted itself from the ground and we floated away from the carnage and bloodshed beneath us, looking down upon the town as a bloodied canvas.
Buildings were on fire, blood lay... everywhere, as though it had actually rained red. The rain still fell on the helicopter, getting heavier and heavier as we lifted into the air. We stared silently at the landmarks which made London the place it was, the tall, glorious buildings which were stained and tainted. We saw nothing but bodies which gradually blurred and dissolved into nothing as I took a breath, overwhelmed we were leaving, overwhelmed we were actually being lifted from this and lifted together. We all thought, we all sat and just appreciated it, sat and remembered. Percy cried. I cried. I think even Keith and Lucas let a tear fall. And as I lay my head on the shoulder of the boy I loved, I let my eyes close and I drifted into a dream, a dream where I stared into the eyes of Bruce and thanked him for our lives. It didn't seem to be long after that we were dragging our bags to a plane, where I fell asleep again to the sound of a pilot announcing the weather.
It was very normal. Normal was unsettling.
I awoke to the sound of an emotional Percy, crying loudly and talking while he waved his hands in the air. Lucas was laughing loudly and Keith was shaking me awake.
'Harley, Harley, you have to see this, look!'
I looked. And I burst into tears, once again overwhelmed but this time in a totally different way.
'For us sunshine... for you'.
Hundreds, thousands, millions of people lined the streets, blurs of colours with signs and waving arms, surely screaming and shouting. People leant out of windows, stood on buildings awaiting our arrival. They jumped and waved, screamed and cried, emotional as us. I cried back, loudly and freely. This was America... maybe the world. The world had been waiting for us. The world cared.
'I wish Mum and Dad could see this' Lucas breathed and I nodded.
'Mum would be brushing through her hair, putting on make-up...'
'My sister was the same' Keith laughed and held onto my hand as we started our descent, 'She'd be loving this'.
'My Dad would be complaining that all the hot air they're making is ruining the atmosphere'.
We all laughed. We looked at each other with our teary eyes and our tired eyes and we laughed.
'I can't believe it's over...' I whispered into the air.
'We love you!' I heard a feminine voice scream from the mash up of other sounds before the air around us erupted in applause and further screams which we were now low enough to hear. We'd swapped the plane for another helicopter, and now we were lowering ourselves to actual safety.
'Over?' Percy guffawed, 'We're going to enjoy this!'.
And as we all laughed again, I wondered if just maybe he was right but not in the way he thought.
The life we once knew was over and the people we once knew were gone but when we stepped out of this helicopter, we were going to have to learn to be brave enough to start again. It was easy to make jokes within the confines of this vehicle but when we breathed clean oxygen, when we took that step back into reality with the alien sight of smiling, carefree people, we were going to have to learn society all over again. We were going to have to make sacrifices and live with nightmares, endure attention and try and live without the people we missed but maybe that was possible with each other.
'I'm gonna ask a second time Harley' Lucas smiled at me and Keith and Percy both smiled knowing smiles; apprehension and confidence all at the same time, 'Are you ready for this?'.
'Yes' I replied instantly as all four of us joined hands, clenching with the kind of fear only we knew, the kind of bond only we had.
And this time, I meant it.