- Eren POV -
" B-but we- we just cleaned, sir ! " Jean whimpers, still appearing gloomy from the story of Mia's past.
Levi walks over to a window sill, gently swiping a finger across it but when he goes to inspect it and notices the murky dust covering his thumb, his face contorts in disgust. " Well, you all did a terrible job - this place is filthy "
He quickly ties his handkerchief around his face, grabbing the duster as he starts dusting the very same window sill - I did that twice !
I glance at Mikasa, and remember back to when she got injured and how she had managed to get her ribs crushed. She should be resting like Mia, but then again - I guess she is just that strong.
Everyone, including the others who had been crying previously, sit up and begin to clean. Well, all but one. There, sitting in the corner of the room, huddled up just clutching a small loaf of bread is Sasha - tears falling from her eyes. She was crying when I first told them what happened, I guess she still is ?
" Hey Sash, it's okay.. " Connie walks over, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
" Y-yeah, b-but, but she's not ! " she says, full sobs escaping her.
" Braus, stop crying. You'll only wake her up. " The Corporal commands, as he stops cleaning.
" B-but M-Mia.. she alway - always said she doesn't care but it's cause the people who were supposed to care for her - t-they didn't ! A-and now she doesn't think she could care for anyone! It's not fair.. " She wails into Connie's arm, which now rests around her. All of us just stare at her in disbelief, i can't believe she's taking it this this hard. I didn't even cry like that when Mia told me..
" Excuse me ? "
Oh my god
I turn to the voice, and see a face I haven't seen in years. There was nothing on her face, not sadness nor anger just.. nothing. The look was entirely unreadable, she was dead silent and the usual thunderstorms that filled her eyes were now still.
The rest of the room turned to her, and though silence filled it - none compared to the soundlessness that filled her. Our eyes were all glued to her.
All staring at the empty Mia.
She gives the same look, she carried the day her parents died - and while I may not remember it much, I do know that I never wanted to see it again, and this time it was all because of me.
" You told ? " Her voice comes out as a mere whisper, sending chills down my spine. There's something so soft yet so cold about it, and her eyes matching her tone just stare forward at no one and nothing.
" Mia, i - "
" You promise you wouldn't.. "
—- Flashback -—
- Mia's POV -
My heart feels empty, as though it has been drained of all life. Each breath I take feels like bricks on my chest and yet I feel so light. Pain starts to rush through every bone in my body till I feel completely numb- I don't wanna breathe... I don't want to feel the pain my own oxygen brings me. I don't want to feel anything. I need to be strong- for titan sake I am strong r- right? I sigh.
It feels as though I'm not in my own body just spectating from a far because though I do everything in my power to tell my self to stop - I do everything in my power to tell my self to breath despite the pain - to not be weak. My body doesn't listen and streams of water start to leak from my closed shuddering eyes.
I have been told before how my eyes were the closest things you could get to an ocean but now my eyes had broke like a glass and the ocean came out wave after wave but in the form of tears and I can't freaking stop my self. I am weak. I am everything my parents told me. For titans sake if I can't even stop my self from crying how I can stop anything.
Everything just poured out- in loud agonized sobs. My back is hunched over and I clutch my self for dear life as if My arms are the only thing keeping me from falling apart.
And to think- I once was a child with light in my eyes and hope in my heart and now here I am with my eyes closed and my heart dark. I let out a louder sob.
" Mia? " a soft whisper crawls out from the shadows as my door creeps open. It's Eren. God I can't let him see me like this but no matter what I do , I can't stop the rain in my clouded eyes.
" leave me please. " I beg clutching my teeth, but he doesn't he instead kneels down to me caressing his hand on my wet cheek.
" Mia, are you okay? " I'm anything but okay. But his words compelled me and just like that my rain turned into a thunder storm and I grabbed him into my arms clutching onto him- I shake my head at him giving him my response as I bury my face into his shirt.
" tell me what happened. " he commands and so I do. I tell him everything.
" Mia- " he says wiping tears away from my sunken eyes.
" I'm sorry they hurt you. I'm sorry I wasn't there... I - I am sorry I'm not there but I promise, I am now okay? I always will be. " he says holding me now, his hands clutched in my messy blonde hair.
" I love you Eri, and - and I know I say I don't care but I - I do care okay? " I whimper pulling my self more into him.
" I know Mia. I love you too. " I guess this is what it's like to have someone that cares.
" but Eren? " I ask sniffling up my tears.
" yes Mia? "
" p- promise me you won't tell anyone okay? Not Armin, not Mikasa - no one I know or.. or care about got it? " I say trying to pull my self back into my regular self.
" but why? " he asks confused.
" The only thing i have is being strong Eren, okay? The only thing i can do is not care and be- be strong. And I can't do that if everyone knows how weak I am. "
" I don't want people to know about my pain. Promise Jaeger? " I finish, clutching his shirt.
" I promise Mia, always "
—— End of Flashback ——
- Erens POV -
My eyes flash open, as memories of that night start to fill my mind - like seeing how much pain she was in, and god how I never wanted to see her like that again.
" Mia - I..I'm sorry ! " I shout, but no matter the volume it's as though she can't hear me at all.
She doesn't move or say anything, she's completely stiff and I swear if I didn't see her chest slowing rising, I would think she's dead.
" Come on Mi.. " Jean whispers, I see her wince - the only emotion she's shown this entire time. I look at the Captain with pleading eyes, hoping that he'd say or do something, because as much as I'd hate to admit.. He makes her happy, and she smiles when she's with him so maybe he can do that for her again.
But he doesn't meet my gaze, as his eyes remain locked on Mia. I turn myself back to her, and see her straighten up and take one deep breath.
" I don't care. " and with that, she turns around and walks straight out the door and into the cool of the night.
Gasps escape the room as though they've been holding their breath the entire time.
"Oh no.. " Armin sighs, dropping the broom he was holding.
Everyone begins to disperse, all frantic about what just happened with Mia. " I hope she's okay.. " Jean says, leaning against the wall. Everyone nods in agreement, before Mikasa starts limping to the door.
" I'm going to talk to her. " but before she can leave the room, a hand blocks her path.
" No, you're not. All of you, get back to cleaning, Solera will get over herself by herself." Levi commands, I narrow my eyes somewhat taken back by his order.
I thought he cared about her?
" No, I'm going, sir. " Mikasa exclaims, sometimes I forget how close Mia and her are,even through both their expressionless selves, they've always been like sisters.. so similar too.
" Ackerman, that's an order. " Mikasa looks longingly at the now closed door, before dropping her head and releasing a sigh.
" Fine. "
- Mia's POV -
I can't believe Eren told, even Levi knows. Now my worst nightmare has come true, they probably think I'm weak. I mean, the girl who couldn't care less about anyone was now crying over some assholes who didn't care one bit for her. It's pathetic, even I admit.
I sigh, resting my arms on the banister of the watch tower. " I'm such an idiot.. " i whisper, my eyes shut tight.
" You got that right. "
I nearly jump out my skim at the voice, as I quickly whip my head around to take a glance at who it might be.
Levi.
There he stands, arms crossed and his eyes burning right into me. " Leave. " i say, turning myself back around.
I hear gentle foot steps nearing me, until the stop and by the short shadow overcasting me, I can tell that he's right next to me.
" I thought out of everyone, you'd be the last person to storm out because of how you are 'feeling ' " He mocks, and as mean as it sounds... he's right. I truly am weak, and now I've only proved it more. I'm an idiot. I straighten up, feeling a large lump develop in the pit of my throat. I can't cry, for titans sake I won't cry. I'm not ever going to do that again, I mean look where that got me the last time.
" P-please Leave. " I don't want to cry in front of him, but the more I talk, the more glassy my eyes become.
I drop my head in shame, knowing any second now, I was gonna burst. I shut my eyes, begging for my arms to Incase me once more so I wouldn't fall apart again but this time, someone else does it for me.
Levi wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly as I adjust myself so that my head lays in the crook of his neck. " Tsk, I'm not back into that filthy place. " He raises one of his hands, as he begins gently running his fingers through my hair.
" L-Levi go. " though my eyes still remain shut, it doesn't stop the clear tears running out of them.
" No. " i sigh, slightly annoyed by his stubbornness. " D-dont listen to what Eren said, okay? I-i was young and s-stupid and.. i promise I'm not weak- o-okay? " and though a lie, I can't help but attempt to justify myself.
" You're not stupid, and you're definitely not weak. I wouldn't of let you in my squad if you were. " his wraps his hand around my neck, bringing me closer then before.
" Mhm, I guess you're not that stupid too. " I smile weakly, looking up into the eyes of the pissed off looking man.
" I'm still your Captain. Don't call me that."
I smile again, a little stronger than before at the sight of seeing how serious Levi got.
" Don't care. "
He smiles back ever so slightly, and I instantly feel my sour mood disappearing at the sight. Levi leans in, pressing his lips to mine. Our kisses grow more intense, as I open my mouth slightly for him, I missed this. I missed him.
I pull away, shuddering from the cold and how the wind blows on my still wet cheeks.
" Great, now you're gonna get sick. " I giggle at him, and how utterly disgusted he becomes at the mere through of germs.
I peck him lightly on the lips, not allowing him for more and then again on the cheek, as I grab his hand and pull him towards the cabin.
" Come on.. let's go. "