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What is more terrifying? Knowing that your boyfriend tried to kill your father or that you are still in love with such a maniac?
"No..." I barely whispered as I tried to make sense of his statement but it was useless. I then started to move away from him.
"Anya, I-I'm really sorry." Zirak weakly apologized but it wasn't his fault.
"Tell me this isn't true.." I desperately begged but he had nothing to console my broken heart.
"I-I wish I could but it is the truth. I'm so sorry, Anya."
"N-No, it's a lie. You're lying!" I yelled back at him as I ran out of the hall with tears blurring my vision.
"Anya, please wait! Stop!" I could hear Zirak's voice echoing and his footsteps following me as I ran straight to the parking lot avoiding everyone's gaze on the way. I wanted nobody to see this miserable side of me.
"Congratulations you guys! I'm so proud of you! Let's partayy!" Polina excitedly hugged her boyfriend, Jase while Luke and Allen weirdly stepped a bit away to give them more space.
"I guess someone's about to get drunk tonight, I sure am booking a cab for myself." Allen jokingly stated seeing Polina's situation.
"Hey, where's Anya?" Luke asked scanning around the area.
"Uh, she.. oh yes! she was inside the hall with Zirak, she said she'll be here in sometime. No worries."
"Right, what is she doing with him anyway?"
"No idea, they were discussing something important as we were coming out. I guess we'll know once she's here."
"Yeah, how about we all go for lunch somewhere once she comes out, my treat, what say?"
"Awesome! Let's do it! I'm starving." Allen happily agreed.
"But place I'll decide, you guys seriously don't choose good restaurants." Polina intervened with a not so impressed face.
"Whoa! Is that Anya?" Allen all of a sudden spoke up as he was staring just behind us.
Luke turned and so did everyone in the group as he saw Anya in tears rushing towards the parking lot.
Who followed up behind was more surprising as it was the new guy she had started being friends with.
"What the hell.." he murmured then quickly handed over his robe to Jase and ran after them without any explanation.
"Luke! Where are you going? Luke!" Jase called out but to no avail as he was far gone already.
"Anya, wait! Would you stop for a minute!" Zirak reached up to me but I wanted to run away, away from it all.
The pain I felt was unbearable, I couldn't breathe and everything felt ruined. My love was dying a slow death. How could this happen.
"Stop please!" He grabbed my wrist to stop me while I continued to whimper uncontrollably.
"Let me go! Zirak, please. I can't!"
"Listen, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know. Please." He pulled me close to look at him.
"Everything's ruined, everything!" I bellowed sadly.
"Hey! What's going on here?"
There he was, standing tall staring at us both now with a worried look on his charming face.
"Uh, you must be Luke. Congratulation on graduating. Zirak Kapoor by the way, Nice to meet you." Zirak awkwardly smiled back at Luke.
"Yeah, not so likewise, buddy. Would you let go of her hand now? It's kinda bothering me." He rudely responded.
I quickly pulled out my hand from under his grasp.
"All good, babe? Why you crying?" Luke asked as he stepped ahead to come close but I definitely didn't wanted to speak with him so I moved an inch away instead.
"Please take me home." I sobbingly murmured wiping off the tears and fighting those that still spilled from my eyes staring down at my heels.
"Sure, babe, but my car's..."
"I wasn't talking to you." I rudely intervened avoiding his piercing gaze.
"Zirak, would you please take me home."
"I, uh.." he looked at Luke who was still dumbstruck by my unexpected response and then looked at me.
"Sure. Um, this way..."
I began to walk towards his car that's when Luke came up and stood right in front of me.
"Hey what's happening? I don't get it. Are you okay?"
"Please move aside." I muttered without lifting my face to look up at him. It disgusted me right now.
"What? Anya, why aren't you answering me? What's going on here?"
"I said. Move. Aside." I glared up at him.
"I won't, not until I know what the hell's going on here." I ignored him completely and moved aside myself to walk past him but he caught hold of my hand making me look back at him
"Hey what's gotten into you! I'm talking to you here." He worriedly expressed.
"I don't want to talk to you. Not now. Not ever!" I whined miserably as words uttered from my mouth felt like sharp needles pressing into my skin.
The pain was excruciating but I had to endure it as I had taken this path on my own terms.
He still didn't let go of me but his face lost color as if he never expected to see this indifferent side of mine.
"But why? What have I done?"
"Ask yourself because you know it, too damn well what you have done so don't act so surprised, now let me go already!" I pushed him away and he let go of me instantly.
"What? What do you mean - all too well?" His face now in dilemma as he looked back and forth from Zirak then at me.
"Stop it! Stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about!" I screamed, I didn't care where we were standing and how many people were now staring at us, I just couldn't take his ignorance of it all.
"Anya, that's what I'm asking, I really don't know what you mean."
"Oh really? Fine! I'll tell you what I mean. When my dad's accident happened, Zirak said he saw you there."
"What?!" He then angrily glanced back at Zirak who remained unperturbed by the heated conversation happening between us.
"In fact, it was your car that banged into his and threw it off balance. It was you who got my dad to hospital and made him suffer the way he did.."
Tears again filled my eyes as anger took over me shaking me from head to toe. I just couldn't believe I was accusing my boyfriend of something so heinous.
"Anya, listen to me.." His face turned indifferent like for a second I was unable to decipher what was going on with him, like I had touched a part even I didn't know of.
"Please just tell me, the truth, Luke? Were you there or not?" I somehow spoke up as my throat felt dry and on fire with all the crying and sobbing.
"I... " He gulped nervously as sweat trickled down his forehead and he began to avoid looking into my eyes. Please god, no.
"I-I never meant to hurt him this bad. That really wasn't my intention."
My eyes widened as the little piece of hope I still had in my heart for it to be not true shattered completely.
"I-I was drunk and.. and angry after that disappointing conversation we had. It-It just happened. I-I don't know what got into me. I-I just.."
I moved further away and before I could think it through my hand swung out slapping him hard across his cheek making a pretty loud sound that reverberated.
There was pin drop silence amongst the crowd in that very moment as it felt like the time had stopped in shock and so did my heart.
Tears continued to spill out and mess up my face even more.
"How could you?" I whimpered. He looked at me with those guilt filled eyes and remorse on his face.
"I trusted you, Luke. I did! with all my heart and you lied this whole time. Is this why you left me all alone? Is this what you were figuring out?!" I angrily screamed.
"Anya, please. Just let me explain.."
"No, I'm done. I'm done, Luke. I don't want an explanation from you. Just.. Just stay the hell away from me and my family, you hear me?! Just leave me alone!" I cried out miserably.
This was it, folks, yes my too-good-to-be-true relationship was coming to an end after all. What was I thinking it would all work out between us. Big mistake.
"Zirak, take me home please." I turned and requested him weakly. He immediately went ahead and opened his car's door for me.
I could barely stand now after the emotional setback I received from my own boyfriend. I guess even he isn't perfect like I always took him to be.
"Anya, wait! you need to hear me out!" I kept looking ahead as I sat inside Zirak's car while Luke leaned over at the side of my window.
"It was a mistake, I-I know I shouldn't have done what I did, I just... I was wrong, okay? I admit. Please. Let's just talk about it."
"Zirak, please drive." He looked up at Luke and then without a word started his car and we left from the campus.
I guess break-up was one hell of a disturbing present I unwantedly gave my boyfriend on his graduation.
Within few hours, my relationship had turned from fabulous to nothing, meaningless.
No thanks to the person sitting right next to me driving me home. I always attract trouble into my life, don't I?
"I'm sorry..." I heard Zirak speak up after few minutes of awkward silence between us as he drove on.
"What for? You did nothing wrong." I murmured as I wiped off the last tears that still blurred my eyes.
"Yes I did, I shouldn't have told you what I saw and messed up things between you two."
"I guess if you hadn't, I wouldn't have known and kept on loving a person who didn't deserve it."
"So.. does that mean you don't love him anymore?" He asked again, after sometime. I looked at him then turned back towards my window and sighed heavily.
"I can never love someone who would try to hurt my family no matter what state they were in." I simply put across. Though it was hard to believe but sometimes you can't have it all.
Anyhow this relationship wouldn't have lasted for very long based on the many differences we had between us.
I guess life isn't a pretty colorful picture but a smudgy unclear canvas that we just gotta accept and live with.
We finally reached my place and I slowly got out of his car.
"You want me to accompany you up there or you'll be fine on your own?"
"I'll be fine, thank you, Zirak." I turned to leave and heard him call.
"Anya.." I turned back around to look at him.
"I-I.. just wanted to say take care, alright? Let me know if you wanna talk. I'll be just a call away." He mildly smiled.
"Will do. Goodnight." I murmured as I walked back inside the building.
"Hey how did it all go?" Mom asked once I got into my room. She looked at my face and became apprehensive instantly.
"Is everything alright? What happened, honey?" I sat down over my bed and just stared down at the floor clutching my bedsheet hard.
"I-I had to do it, Mom. He left me with no choice." She came and quickly sat next to me rubbing my back gently.
"Do what, beta? Who are you talking about?"
"Luke. I just.." Tears again begin to dominate me and started to trickle down my cheeks.
"Shhh.. come here, honey, tell me what happened?" I leapt into her arms and cried my heart out until I could breathe back and speak up properly again.
"I.. slapped him in front of everyone." I sobbingly stated while she wiped my tears away.
"Oh gosh. But why, honey?"
"Be-Because.. he got dad injured. It was him, Mom."
"What? What are you saying?"
"Zirak saw his car bang into dad's causing the accident. He just left him like that on the streets without even helping him. That's when Zirak stepped in to help Dad."
"What?!" I could see the shock on her face as she tried to grasp everything I told her.
"I don't understand, why would he.. you said Zirak told you this, did you speak to Luke about it?"
"I did, he even admitted. I couldn't control myself and that is when I... I just.. I don't wanna see him anymore, never again, Mom."
"Shhh.. it's okay, honey. Relax, I'm here for you." She held me close and I don't know when I slept off in her arms holding onto her.
The next day I decided not to go to college because I really didn't want to deal with the cold stares and rude remarks for the previous day's epic drama that happened at the campus.
I wanted to stay in bed all day long until I could totally feel in my heart, I was over him.
That turned out to be impossible seeing the way I was continuously getting his calls and messages one after the other.
I wanted to throw away my phone somewhere but I couldn't so I put it on silent instead and kept it underneath my pillow.
I guess my life was back to being pathetic again. How amazing! But my solitude did not last very long because of my two friends who loved poking their nose into everyone else's business especially mine.
"Anya, your friends have come!" Mom called out to me from the living room.
"Send them in, Mom." I meekly responded.
"Hey what's... Whoa! You look..."
Allen spoke up as soon as he walked into my room and Poppy followed behind.
"Terrible." Poppy completed his sentence as she came in and sat next to me on my bed where I laid like a dead body.
"Sweety, we know what happened, actually the whole college does. You quite boldly made sure of that." Poppy giggled teasingly.
"Great." I pressed my face profusely into my pillow hiding my zombie like face from them.
"Well, anywho what's done is done and we are here for you, dearie, so you need not to worry anymore." Poppy stated boisterously not making the situation any better.
"But why did you slap him, Anya? I'm more interested in knowing that."
"Oh come on, Allen. Have some sense for once. Isn't it obvious? He cheated on her of course. That's all these rich self centered guys do. Hop from one relationship to another like bloody joy rides in an amusement park." Why does she think every other guy is like her boyfriend, I inwardly wondered.
"Thank you for that, Poppy but I'd like to hear it from her so would you mind keeping your mouth shut for once! Anya, would you please let us know what exactly happened between you two?"
I didn't want to look at them but the way Allen insisted, I had to finally give in and sit up straight to talk.
"Allen, let's just.. let it go. It's nothing."
"Really, Anya? I'm pretty sure it's more than nothing so please tell us already. What happened between the two of you?" He folded his arms and waited for my explanation.
I sighed then looked up at Allen whose eyes stared right back at me.
"Dad's accident happened because of him. It was his car that hit his." I murmured sadly.
"What the...are you serious right now?" Poppy blurted out in shock and I simply nodded.
"How did you find out about it?" Allen probed in for more details.
"Zirak was there when it all happened, he had seen his face, that's how he recognized him yesterday."
"Holy Moly! Who would have thought?! a charming face like that could have such evil intentions." Poppy stated.
"Polina, please, as if your Jase is god of all good deeds." Allen muttered mockingly shutting her mouth again. "Anyways does your dad know, Anya?"
"No. He already has so many other reasons to hate him, don't wanna give him another but Mom does and she promised she wouldn't tell Dad."
"So I assume he admitted and that's when you got angry and slapped him?"
I nodded feeling pathetic as my stomach churned unexpectedly remembering Luke's flabbergasted face.
"You go girl! That asshole deserved it. How could he do something like that? Hurt your father. God! I knew there was something wrong with him when he fought with Jase as well. Aww come here, baby." She then opened her arms to hug me and I crawled in eagerly.
"Atleast he was honest enough to admit it." Allen muttered. "I guess he never thought you would find out but you did unfortunately."
"Honest about injuring my father?! I seriously don't want that sort of honesty, Allen." I aggravated.
"That's not his doing, maybe he just wanted to let off some steam and the plan didn't work out properly. I mean he is a guy after all and the way things were going between your father and him, I guess it was meant to happen."
"Seriously, Allen? What's wrong with you?" Poppy yelled out as she held on to me caressing me gently. "That's a really sick way of letting go of one's anger, don't you think?"
"I-I know but in this world, there are worst ways as well, trust me."
"Guys please, I don't want to talk about him anymore. He tried to hurt my father and I can never forgive him for that. Period."
I made it pretty clear to both as I steadied my own heart to stop feeling bad for him. It was difficult but I couldn't help it, knowing what he had done.
"Fine, I just thought I could make you change your mind but I know it's not gonna happen."
"Right! I mean parents are a big deal, man. No one messes with them unless they are completely bonkers which he is. No shame in accepting that, honey."
I wish I could tell Poppy to stop criticizing him but at this point, I wanted to do nothing anymore. I was mentally exhausted by all the crying and sulking from yesterday.
"Do you wanna go out somewhere? Like get some fresh air?" Allen suggested doubtfully.
"Nah, I'm fine, Allen. Thank you."
"Alrighty! Then I'll just order a triple chocolate sundae for myself and we can all share, how's that?" He started looking through his phone while I rested my body in Poppy's arms.
Glad I had these two goofballs to take care of me when I felt the lowest in my life right now.
I had to return back to my studies no matter what I felt and so I did after two days of complete aloneness.
Somehow the dreadful day went by and I was coming out of the college campus when my eyes fell upon someone I didn't wish to see at all.
He stood leaning against his extravagant car as usual with his black shades on and folded arms obviously waiting for me to come out and now I regretted walking out of the college.
I turned away my eyes and started walking faster towards my home.
"Can we talk?" I guess I wasn't that fast enough as he caught upto me and got right into my face with his dazzling blue eyes.
I stepped back a bit and gave him a serious look then tried to move past him.
"I won't let you ignore me anymore."
He pulled me back towards him and our eyes met, I started breathing in parts again while his face remained cold and intimidating.
"Let me go, Luke." I whined as I wiggled under his firm hold like a fish out of water.
"Listen to me, it was a mistake and I'm sorry, alright? Because of me your dad got hospitalized, can we just.. talk about it like two mature people."
"There's nothing to talk about, if you think I'll forgive you so easily then you're wrong, Mr Davenhall, I shall not."
"So what would it take for you to forgive me? Tell me, I'll do it. Anything, just name it."
"There's nothing, I told you already, it's impossible. Just leave me alone please." I finally managed to get out of his hold then started walking away.
"So this is it then, huh?" I heard him speak all of a sudden making me stop in my stride.
"End to everything we dreamed of. End to the everlasting love we spoke of. End to.. us."
"Yes." I somehow murmured reluctantly as my heart felt like being ripped out of my chest.
I couldn't turn back to look up at him because then he would certainly see how much of a pain I was going through.
"And you're back to feeling nothing for me again?"
"Yes." I again weakly forced my lips to mumble.
"Then, why doesn't it sound convincing to me when you say it?" My eyes grew bigger as tears began to appear.
"I guess my heart still doesn't believe when you say it's over." Tears were now slowly trickling down my face as I stood like a statue with my back towards him.
"Maybe because it knows your lying." The more I listen to him, the more it'll be difficult to do this. Just stop already.
"It knows you still feel for me and always will." I shut my eyes hoping I could disappear as tears heavily drowned me in sorrow.
"Just turn around and tell me I'm wrong. I want you to say it to my face this time, Anya." I can't, please. Don't make me do this.
"I said, turn around godammit! Tell me you don't love me anymore!"
"I don't, okay! I don't!" I turned back and burst out angrily as tears profusely rolled down my face.
"I hate you! I hate you for what you did to my Dad!" He carefully listened noticing the tears and miserable state of mine.
"There! I said it, it's over! You hear me now?! Over, Luke Davenhall, over!" I shakingly managed to yell back and hold myself upright when I knew from within I could faint any second.
I hadn't ever been this strong especially when it came to ending things.
That's not me.
He continued to watch me silently while I wiped off the tears from my face. We stood on the sidewalk while cars and people went by giving us a weirded out side stare.
He then, without a word moved forward to hug me and I stepped back quickly.
"No, please. Please let me be." I knew if he got any closer I would seriously break down so I just wanted him gone. It was easier to finish things this way. I stepped few more steps back until I was at a distance from him.
Before he could speak up again, I gave him one last good stare then turned back and ran away as fast as I could.
I was out of breath as I hurriedly entered through the door of my apartment.
"Ah! There she is. Finally home. Anya look whose here waiting to see you." Mom rose up with a big smile and so did the other person sitting opposite to her on the sofa.
"Hey.."
"What are you doing here?" I wasn't ready for another unwanted encounter after the trauma I had just been through few minutes ago.
"Anya, honey, is this how you greet a friend? He's especially here to meet you." Zirak awkwardly smiled back.
"No, aunty, that's alright, I shouldn't have just barged in like that." He stated apologetically.
"Uh, I tried calling your number actually but you didn't pick up so um, thought I'll go check myself."
"No, I-I didn't mean it that way. I just.. I wasn't expecting to see you here so.."
"Right, I know, I-I should have just waited for your call, well, um, stupid me I guess. Anyways now that I know all's good with you, I better get going then." He sheepishly grinned.
"No, it's fine. Please stay as long as you want and thank you for coming to see me." I weakly smiled back.
"Yes, it's really nice of you, Zirak. You should really stay for dinner. Richard will be home soon, he'd love to meet you as well." Mom expressed happily.
"Um, I would have, Aunty, only if I had informed home that I would be late, Mom must have prepared and kept dinner ready for me already."
"Oh gosh, yes dearie! I understand. Maybe next time then." He agreed respectfully. "Yes of course."
"Do pay my regards to your mom and tell her that we would love to have her visit us too sometime."
"I will, thank you for the delicious cookies and coffee, Aunty." She smiled happily.
"Um, I'll come with you downstairs, just give me 2 minutes." He agreed and waited next to Mom as I hurriedly got into my room and then the bathroom to wash off those tear obsessed eyes of mine and my ugly depressed face.
I was lucky nobody noticed anything otherwise explanation wasn't something I wanted to do at this time.
"Hey I'm back.. let's go.." I came back looking pretty decent this time than before and hurried downstairs with him.
"Again, I'm sorry for showing up like this. I really shouldn't have." He spoke up modestly.
"Hey.. it's no problem. I should apologize instead because I didn't pick up my phone and that got you worried so that's obvious."
"Right, especially after the horrible confrontation you had with your boyfriend that day. Is everything okay now between you two?" It's worst than what I thought it would be.
"We broke up." I simply confessed.
"What? Geez Anya. You serious?" I nodded bitterly.
"Just because your father got injured?"
"It's not just, Zirak. God knows what could have happened if things wouldn't have gone the way they did. We could have lost him. Did he even think of that before pulling such an insane move?" I angrily blurted out.
"Whoa! Hey relax, I get it. I mean I just thought you wouldn't want to since your dad's doing fine now."
"Doesn't change the fact that he tried to hurt him, does it?"
"Fine, you're right. Wanna hug it out then?" I skeptically eyed him.
"Come on! Don't look at me like that, I know you're expecting one already. Don't be shy." He is crazy for sure but also the first person in the entire day who has made me smile.
I finally chuckled as I moved forward to hug him.
"Yes, that's what I'm talking about, it always works, doesn't it? you feeling better now?" He goofily asked.
"No, I don't." I teasingly lied.
"Okey. I know that's a lie but no worries! we'll get there someday, call me when you wanna do another hug it out session." I giggled.
"Sure, doctor. I'll remember that." He grinned as he got inside his car.
"No, I'm serious. Don't hesitate."
"I won't, Zirak. Reach safe." I sent him off with a short smile and the moment his car disappeared around the corner, the feeling of emptiness returned in my heart.
I guess I can't get rid of it now.
All was said and done. I was back to my old boring single life, back to the beginning but this time it felt more heart-rending with the breakup.
I turned to go inside but felt a sharp brush of cold wind across my face stopping me midway. I felt like being watched and that's when I abruptly turned to confirm the same.
Yes, I wasn't just imagining it because the one whose eyes I felt watching me was sitting inside his giant black sedan staring right at me from afar.
His eyes questioning me with so much hatred. It was evident Luke felt betrayed and disappointed in every way possible. Had he seen me with Zirak? I wasn't sure but it didn't matter anymore who we both were seeing at this point.
Separation was inevitable and had happened sooner than later between us. Heartwrenchingly we were no longer together.
I lowered my gaze, hugged my own body from the chilling breeze and then slowly walked back inside the building.
Good-bye, Luke.