I shiver as a particularly cold breeze fills my veins. I'm curled up on the floor of the woods, holding my face in my hands with my knees to my chest. I cannot get over the fact the black-eyed boy is, in fact, the God of Death. It feels impossible. But is anything really impossible?
The sky above me twinkles with stars and the moon is my only light source as I cry in the woods. I hope no coyote appears out of nowhere and takes a bite out of my scalp. Or anything else, in fact. My shoulders shake from cold shivers and silent sobs. I feel betrayed.
I am not betrayed by the black-eyed boy, but I'm betrayed with myself. Instead of feeling an unimaginable pit of fear in my heart, I feel heat and want. It cannot be normal, right?
I have no idea how long I have been out here, I just know I should probably go back soon. My fingers feel like they have frostbite and the excess mud in the ground comes up to soak my butt. Not to mention, Ruby is still passed out on my couch, probably snoring like a pig.
Just as I am about to go home, I hear a familiar caw. My head snaps up to see the raven perched on a branch a few feet away from my head. The moonlight slips perfectly off of his back. I stare up at him and he stares at me before he flutters down and delicately perches on my kneecap. I stare at him with tears in my eyes, biting my lip.
"Cassiopeia," he speaks gently. I should be shocked he is speaking or questioning my mental stability, but I'm not. I actually find myself urging him to speak more.
"Who are you?"
"Davion. I'm a demon," he lowers his head slightly. "I've been watching over you." He says nonchalantly.
I say, "Why?"
"Because, believe it or not, you're important," he stares at me with his black eyes. I just raise an eyebrow at him. He ruffles his feathers before blinking at me. "My master loves you," he tells me suddenly. Both my eyebrows now raise.
"Your master?" I ask shortly. Then it seems to click in my head like the last puzzle piece. "The God of Death." It's obvious the bird isn't surprised by my words, he just nods.
"And I'm here to tell you who he is and why he loves you." His words steal the last inches of oxygen from my lungs. By the time I get my breath back, I am speaking without realizing.
"A demon," I glance at him quickly, "told me that I had forgotten him for a reason. I don't want to remember him if--"
"You forgot him to save his life," Davion says quickly. He looks at me with respect shortly. "You saved my master, just as I have saved you countless times." I awkwardly shift against the ground. Saved me? "But I fear my master is slowly unraveling."
"What do you mean?" I peer at him questioningly.
"He loves you, I've said that," Davion tilts his bird head anxiously. "I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't believe you could remember, but you loved him too. Now that you have forgotten him as well, he's going mad."
"I loved him?" It sounds like acid drips off of my tongue. Davion winces slightly. "How could I love the God of Death?"
"Don't let his title intimidate you," Davion quickly snaps. He flaps his wings shortly, showing how frustrated he is. "He showed you a different side of him. He's never felt the way he does right now and it's scaring him." I just nod for him to continue. Something in my head seems to inch open, almost as if a door is slowly opening. "And, besides, I've never seen my master so happy," Davion says slowly. "When he was with you, he smiled. He's never done that before. I wish for him to feel the happiness he feels when I am with my mate." I think about the other black raven. They truly were mates. "That's why I've been watching you. I wasn't supposed to be, but I didn't think he could bear with it if something were to happen to you." Davion glances at me shortly before his black eyes stare into my own. "While I've been watching you, I've noticed something."
He waits for me to take in the bits of information he is hand feeding me. So I was in love with the God of Death and he was in love with me. It's doesn't sound so unbelievable, just very impossible. There is no way. I bet the God of Death slowly kills people with sadistic smirks and--
No, something in my head hisses loudly. It comes as a shock to me. I recognize the voice as my inner self. I realize now she was the one slowly opening the door, and now that door is wide open with thoughts, memories, and feelings washing past. He was never like that, she says softly.
I believe her because I suddenly know that.
"Grim," I suddenly sigh into the night air. Davion tenses on my knee as he stares at me. I think I see a hint of a smile cross his beak.
"That's what I noticed," he says softly, his eyes filling with warmth. "You remember."
"I remember," I say as if trying to make myself believe it.
"It's just buried beneath the wall Thaddeus placed in your mind." My eyes widen as I stare at the bird. Everything starts to come back to me. Thaddeus, the God of Life. Theodosius, the God of Death. I remember how I was begging Thaddeus to take my memories and Theodosius was begging him not to. Azrael. Zeuxis. Almost everything.
Waves of new emotions wash over me, my heart starts to beat at a fast pace. When suddenly, my brain suddenly feels like fire is scorching it. I wince, making Davions features fill with worry. My eyes fall shut shortly, and I feel like sleeping suddenly. A thumping in my ears starts to fill my everything. My world pulses with the thump in my ears, my eyes starting to cross.
"Cassie!" Davion jumps up and starts flying in front of my face, but everything fades away. It's like a paintbrush suddenly comes out and washes the world away from me. I let out a harsh gasp as I fall against the ground, my eyes staring up at the trees. That last thing I see is the night sky's winking stars before sleep crashes into me like a tsunami and I am flung into dreamland.
___
"Cassiopeia." My eyes remain closed, but my entire world suddenly jolts as the deep voice fills my ears. It sounds dangerous. "Cassiopeia, awaken, dear." My eyes suddenly bolt open, and I wince as I take in blinding white lights. My retinas burn and I beg my eyes to close, but my eyelids stubbornly refuse and I am left staring up ahead.
Suddenly, everything comes back to me. I jump up like a bullet, taking in my surroundings quickly. There are no surroundings. All around me is the spotless white light, much like the light in my dreamland before I ever talked to Grim (aka, the black-eyed boy). "Finally," the deep voice says. I whip to my right, my feet feeling like Jello as I look for the source of the voice. "Here, darling," the voice says again. I turn so fast my vision blurs. It blurs again when I see a huge man towering over me. My eyes widen as I tilt my head up as far as I can and meet piercing black eyes. These ones lack any emotion whatsoever, and he has a rough beard. He has crow feet around his eyes and a chiseled jaw.
"Who are you?" I take a hesitant step back. I just got my memories back and now I am talking to a huge, skyscraper of a man? My memories. I almost melt to the floor as I think about Grim. How could I possibly do that to him? It must have been torture, watching the only girl he's loved forget everything about him. I then think of where I left him at the car. He probably felt like someone was stabbing him with a serrated knife as I ran away from him once again. And Zeuxis. Zeuxis was there, appearing as Beans. He was there the whole time. I should have known that they would never leave my side. We were a family, Zeuxis, Azrael and I. Grim was the leader of our family and my...lover? My heart starts to whine out in want as I think of Grim. I think of his pleading eyes from that dreaded night. How he stared at me and fell to his knees as he begged me not to go through with my horrible plan. I remember how he confessed his love, how his lips were hungry against mine in the darkness of the woods.
I remember as he screamed after me as I locked him out of my house and mind.
I'm horrible. I deserve to go to Hell.
"You know of me, dear." The man stares at me and lets a sly smile walk across his face. "I see you've gotten your memories back. I wanted to be the one to gift those to you."
"What?" My voice sounds guarded, and I am.
The man stares at me for a moment before placing a hand on my shoulder. It practically conceals my entire shoulder as he stares down at me. "Excuse me, where are my manners. My name is Thanatos."
"Thanatos?!" I shriek. I back away from him suddenly, falling over my feet. I start to fall backward but never hit the ground as my the world shifts. Thanatos moves to walk forward, his feet just walking around the white ground as he comes to stand in front of me. Is there no actual ground here, what the hell? "You're dead!" I scream, holding my head. I meant for it to be a statement, but it comes out a question.
He chuckles. It's deep and although it's supposed to be filled with joy, I can sense the sadness in it. "I am dead, dear," he looks at me shortly. "Where do you suppose beings like me go after life?" He tilts his head.
"Uh...Hell?" My voice is weak and quivering, much like my entire body. He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his long beard.
"Uh, no. I controlled Hell when I was living." He watches me, waiting for me to react by screaming or something. Believe me, hearing that isn't the craziest statement I've ever heard. "We are in purgatory."
My eyes widen. I would've liked Hell a lot better. "Purgatory? The purgatory?" I almost faint. Luckily, I'm already asleep so my mind rejects that.
"Correct," he smiles at me. "The place where souls go to pay for their crimes," he says nonchalantly. My face twists in shock. "I've been trying to contact you for a while now. Just Theodosius got in the way whenever I tried to talk to you. I see why, though. Love can drive some crazy." He winks at me.
The old, omnipotent God of Death just winked at me! I'm dreaming. Correct, I am. Oh my God--I need out of here. I need to find Grim!
"Stubborn boy," Thanatos mumbles, rolling his eyes. Are all Gods like angsty teens? "Anyway, now that you are finally here, I can tell you why you are remembering. A human is never, ever, supposed to remember anything the Gods take away."
I stare at him, my mind slowly thinking about his words. When it gets to the last part, my brain malfunctions, and breaks. "That's why I always feel like sleeping. You were trying to call me--contact me in my dreams," I say as the realization sinks in. He nods.
"Correct. You are a smart one," he smiles. "But not too smart. I'm surprised you haven't pieced it together yet," he says. He suddenly cracks his knuckles and then his neck.
"I'm smart," I respond. "Just give me a few."
"Alright, you try and figure out why you remember everything," he motions to me. I nod my head at him, staring up at him.
"Thank you." He just shakes his head before chuckling. I ignore him and let my mind try and piece this together. I somehow get my brain to start working, pulling it out of the brain fart it was in. I peer at my inner self and she stares at me, her mind running. I swallow as I lick my lips, my eyes moving everywhere around us. Why do I remember everything?
I know humans should never ever be able to remember anything that the Gods remove, so why did I? It takes ten seconds before my brain shuts down again and I am left staring at my inner self with shock. My mouth drops and I suddenly zip my gaze up to Thanatos. He has a grin on his face.
"You figured it out," he says slowly.
"I'm not human?! What?!" My loud scream shakes the white area around us, and it flickers slightly. Thanatos lets a smirk soar over his face.
"Correct! Wow, you really are bright!" He points at me. I cough suddenly, the lungs in my body breaking much like my brain.
"I'm not human!" I gasp. I start to wave a hand over my face to cool down my incessant sweating. I end up panting and leaning over. I'm about to go into a full on panic attack. Luckily, Thanatos creeps over to me and places a warm hand on my back.
"Cassiopeia, relax," he whispers softly. His tone is oddly comforting.
"Well...what am I?" I ask after a moment. He stares at me, his black eyes flicking indecisively. When he replies, my world breaks.
"I don't know," he says hesitantly.
"Huh?" The old God of Death doesn't know what I am? And I didn't think things could get any more weirder...
Thanatos shrugs pitifully beside me. His gaze flicks to the right before he clears his voice.
"Cassiopeia, I have no doubt you will be able to figure it out. In future years. I've been watching you for many and still haven't figured it out. But you are wise and very intelligent. Not to mention, open-minded." I take in his compliments, nodding along. He looks at me then and shrugs softly. "But I regret to inform you that after this, I will likely not be here to speak to you. My time in purgatory is ending, and I will be wished to Hell. Granted, Hell isn't so bad, but it isn't as strong as a place as purgatory. I'm feeding on the power of this place. Since I am dead, my powers are lacking."
"And after you leave you won't have the power to call me again," I piece it together. He nods sadly.
"I can still watch your successes though. I wish you the best and I will pray for you."
Pray? The Gods can pray? Who do they pray to? I don't think of answering those question, I just suddenly remember why Thanatos is in here exactly. He fell for a human and ironically fell from his position of the God of Death. And then I remember...I'm talking to Zeuxis' father.
"Before you go," I grab onto his arm. "I'm very sorry for your...um...downfall. Your son is amazing," I tell him softly. His eyes finally start to shine, showing me a bright green much like Zeuxis'. The black around them fades and he looks like a normal guy smiling at me.
"Thank you, Cassiopeia. Can you...possibly tell him I love him? Don't let him think I despise him...for obvious reasons. Tell him I still love him and his mother very much, and I hope to see him again someday."
I nod, my eyes filling with happy tears. "I promise."
"Oh, and that I am proud of him?" Thanatos stares at me with hope. I give him a sad smile before nodding. That's when I realize we are slowly fading apart. Sounds start coming back to me, letting me hear Davion's crazy caws. I can feel his talons anxiously pacing across my knee.
"I will," I promise Thanatos seconds before we split. The white area around me fades and my eyes are flying open. I sit up with a gasp and cough, rubbing my head as the real world comes crawling back to me like a loyal pet. Davions caws happily in front of me and flies forward to caw roughly in my face.
"Cassie!" He shouts. I rub my head for a second longer before looking at Davion with a grin. Even though I just met the little demon, I cannot help but grab him from the air and hug him to my chest. "Cassie!" He whimpers against my chest as I hold him.
"Davion!" I shout as I suddenly stand up with a grin and twirl around. He caws scaredly before I stop and stare at him with wide eyes. He stares at me with curiosity.
"What happened?"
My grin barely lets me talk as I rush to tell him, "I remember everything!"
___