A Christmas Miracle
Sherlock:
It was Christmas eve and I woke up early. John had laid his head on my chest the night before like he always does. I took a deep breath and John smelled of sweat but I thought he smelled as lovely as usual. But there was one smell that wasn't always there.......alcohol. We had a couple of drinks the evening before. We both had two martinis each. That night was the best night of my life, we danced til about 03:00. John stepped on my toes a lot but he's still learning to control his feet while dancing. How can someone be so handsome? I had asked myself, and how can he love someone like me? I know that I'm a genius but why would anyone love me?
I moved slowly and carefully not to wake him up, I softly replaced my chest with a pillow so he could have his head on something. Shit! I had forgotten to wrap John's presents with present paper. I carefully walked downstairs to wake mrs Hudson up to ask for some present paper.
When I woke her up she kept looking from my face down to where my underwear was supposed to be. "Sherlock I would recommend you to put some pants on or at least some underwear before you come to me next time" she said calmly clearly tired. Fuck! I said mad at myself for not remembering to put some clothes on. "I suppose you two had a good night, I'm glad you finally did it" mrs Hudson said looking me in the eyes. What do you mean? I asked her confused, right after I said those words I remembered. "How can you not remember? You moan was so loud that i was getting worried" she said with a broad smile on her face. "Just give me a towel or something to put on" I said embarrassed. She threw me a stained towel that had that typical old lady smell. I quickly tied it around my hips. "So what do you want? Condoms? Tea?" She said almost laughing. I only need present paper. I said and it was impossible not to laugh. So she gave me some striped Red, green and white Christmas theme paper. Thank you! I said while running up the stairs back to our apartment.
I put the paper down on the kitchen table even tho it was filled with my science stuff including some human fingers and eyes from the mortuary.
A lonely tear rolled down my face when I remembered how Molly had reacted when I told her I was gay. "B-bu-but John s-sa-said that he wasn't a homosexual" she said with her face full of tears. "He isn't gay but he's Bi" I said calmly while not having the courage to meet her eyes. "Why the hell didn't you tell me before! You know that I love you!" She shouted in my face, her sadness had turned into rage in a tenth of a second. "I thought you'd tell the others" I said still looking at my feet afraid to meet her eyes. "I would never do that!" she said now sad again. "Well......I didn't think that I could trust you, I'm sorry but I have a date to go to in one hour, so bye" said disappointed at myself. "Bye, you're an ass just so you now, but I do still love you!" She said calmer now.
I wiped the tear away with the back of my hand, trying to get my mind together. I couldn't find my clothes so I took some of Johns and I looked a lot older than I actually was. The pants were to big and to short considering that John was bigger than me but I was taller than him. I hurried to wrap the presents, it didn't look good but it did it's job. I made him a cup of tea and baked some scones.
John:
I woke up with my head on Sherlock's pillow. "Where is he?"I thought to myself . Then he opened the door and he brought presents and breakfast. "Good morning handsome" I said with a smile on my face. "Morning but you're the one that's handsome....or wait that's the wrong word, Sexy that's the right word for you" Sherlock said a bit confused but with a soft smile on his face. "Come here and kiss the hell out of me!" I said clearly aroused. "Yes captain!" He said while slowly walking towards me. He put down the plate and the presents, and we kissed and kissed. His lips were soft and I dragged my fingers thought his black curles. That man smelled amazing. I gave him one more kiss and then I sat up looking at the breakfast. The scones were actually not bad at all, and the tea was good. Sherlock handed me one of the presents. It was a little box. I opened it and there was a ring in it! "Sher-Sherlock" I stammered. "John, so I've been thinking about this for quite a while now..... marry me!" He said now on the floor bowed down like you do when you propose. "Sherlock, I fucking love you with all my heart, of course I'll marry you!" I shouted while throwing myself out of the bed landing in Sherlock. We both laughed for a minute considering he had lost his balance so both of us where laying on the floor in each others arms. We climbed onto the bed and he put the ring onto my finger. He handles me something that looks like a letter. "It's from Mary, she gave it to me two years ago and told me not to give it to you until Christmas 2018" he said looking me right in the eyes. I read it out loud:
John, I'm probably dead when you're reading this.
I always knew that you weren't straight and I hope
You're having a good life with Sherlock. I bet you're
a top and that Sherlock is still learning to take all of
you in, haha! Sorry if this letter is short but John I do love
you and I wish that I'd be able to come to you're wedding.
But as it looks now, that won't be what happens.
Have an amazing Christmas // Mary Watson
Sherlock:
Tears were running down his face when he calmly said: "you two planned the proposal didn't you? "We planned it exactly two months before....you know what happened" I answered him while slowly walking towards him. "She's right tho" John said almost laughing. "Right about what?" I asked him very confused. "That I'm a top and that you're still struggling to take all of me" he said with an enormous smile across his whole face. "That will be changing tonight, and just so you know, Mrs Hudson heard my moans last night" I said. "Well.....she'll have to get used to them" he said also smiling.
Flashback:
I stole the razor blades from Mycroft's bedside table and walked towards the bathroom. I looked myself in the mirror "you're ugly! You freak! Monster! No one will ever love you! Do it! Do it! Cut deep!" I thought to myself while taking one of the razor blades out of their tiny blue box. I slowly put the blade to my wrist. I took a deep breath and bit my lip hard enough for it to start to bleed. But that wasn't anything compared to what I was going to do to myself in a couple of seconds. I pushed the blade deep into my wrist and slowly pulled it towards myself slicing through my veins. I felt the blade rip through muscles almost hitting bone. The blood started appearing and ran across my arm until it got to my elbow and dipped onto the floor. I did it not one time...not two...not three....or four...but five times I sliced deep into my left arm. I washed away the blood and put on the bandage that I had prepared for myself. I then put on my black long sleeved shirt. I walked into Mycroft's room to put the blades back. I was only thirteen when I cut.
I felt that I was getting very light headed and I instantly fell not able to control my body. John reacted quickly and was holding my body while whispering calming things. "I'm ugly! A freak! A monster! No one will ever love me!" I shouted loudly while my body was shaking aggressively.
John unbuttoned my long sleeved shirt afraid of what he would find underneath. He found the five red scars ....."I'm so sorry" I said crying. "No need to be sorry, it's not you're fault Sherlock" he said hugging my body. After a couple of minutes I started walking towards the kitchen with John helping me to hold my balance.
John:
"If you need to talk then we can talk, if you don't want to speak of it then that's okay" I said trying to calm him down. "I'd prefer not to talk about it, all you need to know is that the words I shouted were things I got called when I was younger, I was bullied from the age of eight til the age of seventeen" he said still in shock. "I'm so sorry that happened to you, those little shits don't deserve to be near you" I said calmly. Sherlock then took out his phone to text Mycroft what had happened.
He knows /SH
Okay, how did he react? /MH
Better than you did, at least John tried to help /SH
You never got to know why I had those razor blades did you? /MH
Wait, no you....you..didn't! Why would you do that to yourself? you were nineteen and had a good life, a job /SH
You know Moriarty....he...he was in my class for five years /MH
Wait..what!? /SH
You never wondered why I hated him to? /MH
I never thought about it /SH
I was bullied just like you /MH
Then you should care more because you have been through the same thing! /SH
I tried to commit suicide three times! Of course I fucking cared! I was in a deep depression that no one knew or would have cared about. Sherlock I am so sorry and I apologize for not being there for you when you felt down /MH
I love you so much /SH
I love you too, little brother /MH
Sherlock:
"John! Look at the fireplace!" I said exited. "More presents!" John said now also very exited. We walked up to the fireplace and sat down on the carpet together. We started by opening the presents from Mrs Hudson. We both laughed when we opened them, "a box of condoms" John said laughing. "Mrs Hudson!" I shouted. "Yes dear!" She answered back. "Thank you!" I shouted trying to hold back my laugh.
Then we opened the ones from Mycroft. I got a smoking pipe that had these words engraved on it:
To the best little brother ever, have an amazing Christmas / love from Mycroft Holmes
I held it against my chest for a second and then I showed it to John. He got a watch that looked quite expensive.
Then I opened the three presents from John. "A box of nicotine patches, thank you!" I said laughing. The second present was a completely beautiful necklace with a heart shaped marine blue diamond. "Thank you John, it's really beautiful" I said with a warm smile looking at the beautiful man that was sitting right in front of me. And the last present from John was a letter.
"To my beautiful boyfriend Sherlock Holmes" it said at the top.
Sherlock.....I'm sorry that I haven't told you this earlier but I didn't have the courage to do so. You are the love of my life and I feel the need to tell you this. I was born as a woman.....Sherlock I'm trans. I had breast reduction surgery when I was 16. You've asked me multiple times what the scars on my chest were from. Now you know my secret. And the scars on my arms are from when I was 14 and I cut because of quilt. I felt extreme guilt because I grew up in a Cristian neighborhood and everyone hated me for being trans. I hope you still love me the same // John H Watson
"John, I love you with all my heart and I will always do. I had my guesses about the scars on your chest, but it was better hearing it from you" I crawled over to John and gave him a hug that lasted almost two minutes.
There were only four presents left for each of us. Two each from Greg Lestrade (yes I finally learned his name). I got a new deer stalker hat because the old one was destroyed in a case where acid was involved. And some new blood to do experiments on. John got an ugly Christmas sweater and a cute hat that suited him very well. "Wait there's something else in the ashes inside the fireplace" I said confused and exited. I took it out and handled it to John who also looked very confused. It was a little red box. John opened it and I will never forget the expression on his face when he saw what was inside the box. "Sh...Sher.....Sherlock!" He stammered while looking extremely frightened. I gently took the box from John and looked at it. The top of the box had text inside of it.
Did you miss me? Just so you know, this item was very hard to find but I did it. How do I know about it? I know everything! Sherlock I know everything! Btw I hope the wedding goes well // J M
I looked down to see what was in the box and my face instantly got the same expression as John's. A rusty razor with some old dried blood on it. "Moriarty!" Both of us said a the same moment. "How the hell can he be back, I saw him shoot himself with his own fucking hands!" I said clearly afraid of what could happen now that he's back. "Do you think we should call Mycroft and Greg?" John asked. "Probably, I'll call them later. Don't let this destroy our Christmas" i answered while I was throwing away the ripped present paper. "Beep" "beep" I got a text.
Sherlock, I know that it's Christmas but can you please come to the mortuary, you need to see this /GL
Sure, I'll be there in 30 minutes //SH
Good //GL
"John, I'm sorry but Greg wants me to come to the mortuary. Apparently there's something I have to see" I said while putting on my shoes. "Okay, I'll be here making you breakfast. Love you" he said smiling. "I love you too" I answered . I walked down the stairs thinking about what it could be that was so important that I had to come to the mortuary at Christmas. I got in the cab and looked out the the window the whole ride to the mortuary.
When I came there Greg was already there standing outside. I got out of the cab and walked over to him. "This is the craziest thing I've ever seen, and I apologize again for making you come here at Christmas" he said a bit stressed. "No problem" I answered smiling at him. We got inside the mortuary and I followed him to the corpse that Molly was standing next to. I looked at the dead body laying in front of me. "Fucking hell! Jim! I didn't think this would happen so soon! I shouted. Both of them looked confused and scared. I showed both of them the scars on my left arm. "We found a little box inside of the fireplace at 221B, inside of it was the razor that I used 17 years ago to cut myself. It also had a message from Ji...Jim Moriarty saying that he found the razor" i said confused and insecure. "But that can't be possible!" Molly said. "It's Moriarty we're talking about, he can do anything" I answered while walking out of the door. "Hey! Were the hell are you going?" Greg asked. "I need to go home to my future husband!" I answered while smiling. "Oh no you didn't!?" Molly said clearly mad.