Your head is pounding as Ezra's screaming echoed off the walls. Today is just one of those days where you remember that this boy is only three and meltdowns happen, even if he's usually well behaved. This time it's over not having a biscuit treat since there was none left.
He knowingly ate the last one yesterday.
"I jus' wanna biscuit," Ezra cries from his spot on the floor, hiccupping with how forceful his sobs are.
You take a deep breath, because getting upset or yelling isn't going to solve this. Instead you lay next to him, staring at the ceiling, letting a few seconds pass. In that few seconds Ezra calms a bit but still gives out half whines and hiccups.
"You had a biscuit yesterday, yes?" You ask.
"Y-Yeah."
"The last one?"
"...y-yeah."
"So, we have no more, right?"
Ezra sits up, red faced, "uh-huh."
"So that means we have no more in the house," you say and sit up with him, "and you crying about it doesn't make me want to go get some more for you. If you calm down, maybe after we go to the park we'll stop at a shop and get you one...but that's only if you stop the tantrum. I can't fix it for you right now, but maybe later. Okay?"
"Later?" Ezra echoes.
"Later," you nod.
"'Kay," he says, using the back of his hands to wipe his teary eyes, "I get biscuits later."
You can't help but huff, amused by how quickly Ezra agreed to getting a biscuit later. Helping him up to his feet, you help him get ready for the park. It's a bit warmer today so you let him pick you a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. It's a cute little khaki pair of shorts with a Marvel shirt. One of his several Marvel shirts, and today it was a red one with a little Iron Man chest piece in the center.
You get dressed for the warmer weather as well, packing a daytime outing bag as well. Today Sam and Harry took Tessa on their little road trip for some photography thing, so you don't need to worry about getting stuff packed for her.
By the time the clock reads about noon you and Ezra are out of the house, walking towards the local park that's not too far. It's mostly a football field, but at the north end is a little sitting area and play area for children. Along the way, like most walks with Ezra, you teach him new signs and explain what things mean or what things do. Ezra is adorably curious when he's not being shy and closed off.
When you reach the park, Ezra runs ahead of you, excited to go play. You catch up to him, pretending to chase him, tickling his sides when you do catch him.
"Swings?" You ask.
"Swings!" Ezra agrees, marching over to the swing set.
You have the backpack you packed snug on your shoulders as you push Ezra on the swings. The boy is filled with high pitched screams of glee, his feet swing out of time with the actual swinging motions, and you end up taking a few pictures and videos for Tom. Next comes the slide and a bouncy-thing you're not quite sure how to use but Ezra has a blast with it. It surprises you how much you're enjoying spending time playing with Ezra, the little funny dialogue bits, the requests for help when he can't quite do what he wants on his own yet, and it's all so rewarding.
"Drink some water," you say after a while, pulling out a water bottle for Ezra to sip at.
The boy gulps some down, catching his breath after some hardcore playtime, and hands it back to you.
Although you manage to keep playing a bit more the whole biscuit thing comes back to bite you. Ezra mentions it a few times, saying it's "later" now. With a sigh you tell him to stay in sight while you take a seat on the nearby bench and look up where the nearest grocery store is, or even a little market. You find one not too far from here, within walking distance, and you bookmark it, so you don't lose it.
It only feels like a second went by. All you did was sit, type one thing in, and click a few times.
It was only a few seconds.
"Miss! Miss!"
Your head snaps up when you see a woman barreling towards you, eyes wide and frantic.
"Yes?" You ask nervously.
"Your little boy? Curly hair? Superhero shirt?" She asks, trying to sound coherent.
You stand up on shaky legs and snap out a, "where?"
The woman jogs along side you, rounding a bit of the play structure, and you see Ezra sitting on the ground struggling for air. His cheeks and neck are splotchy and red, he's coughing and wheezing, crying as he tries to breathe, and you feel your stomach fall out of your body.
The woman holds up a now sealed bag of crackers, "my son let him have a few."
Your eyes widen when you realize...
They're fucking peanut butter crackers.
"Oh my god," you whine and rip your backpack off, your hands sloppily unzipping it to get the medial bag.
Band-Aids, disinfectant, and most importantly Ezra's Epi-Pen.
Your mind takes you back to the day you were interviewed and hired. You think of the most important page next to the Marvel confidentiality agreement and the emergency contacts; the important health information. Ezra is severely allergic to peanuts, something that Tom stressed heavily, and that having an Epi-Pen at all times is a must. You never thought you'd have to actually use it, but you sure as shit did so much research on anaphylactic reactions you may as well be a doctor at this point.
"Call an ambulance, now," you tell the woman who fumbles to get her phone out.
Ezra reaches out to you, but you gently push him back until he's laying down.
"You're fine, you're alright," you say, trying to blink away your tears, "I need you to breathe slowly okay? In. Out. In. Out."
You keep the in and out mantra going, but you hear the rattling in his chest continue to worsen. You yank the cap of the Epi-Pen off, pulling up Ezra's pant leg, and inject the needle into his thigh. The boy squirms at the needle stabbing him, but you hold his leg firmly, counting to ten in your head before you take out the auto-injector.
You turn Ezra on his side incase he vomits, laying his head on your lap.
"They're on the way—I'm so sorry. I didn't even think to ask if he was allergic," the woman rushes out, holding her son.
You nod your head, but you don't say it's fine, because it's not. Ezra is breathing better but he's still blotchy and shaking. You keep running your hand through his hair, every so often pressing your two fingers to his neck to check if his heart is still going the way it should be, telling him sweet nothings.
You're okay.
You're gonna be fine.
You're alright.
The woman and her son stay until the first responders arrive. Ezra all but freaks out when they try to touch and prod at him, and you do everything you can to calm him down, so they can help him out. The woman gives you her number, and you shove it into your bag before climbing into the back of the ambulance. Ezra is strapped onto the gurney, an oxygen mask on his face, and he paramedics take his blood pressure much to the boy's dismay.
You notice that his face is a bit swollen, mostly around his eyes
You hold Ezra's hand, kissing it, and squeezing it tight.
"You're going to be okay sweetheart," you say, and the boy just continues to wheeze and cry.
Then a thought enters your head...
Tom.
Your instinct is to call him first, but he's an ocean away. So, you grab your phone and dial Nicola hoping she or Dominic can come to the hospital. The dial tones that drone on and on make you anxious, but on one of the last rings they stop, and you finally get an answer.
"Y/N, what can I do for you?" Nicola starts with.
You open your mouth to answer, but you find the words stuck in your throat.
"Are you near some sirens? It's rather loud where you are."
"Nikki," you finally get out, your voice cracking, "you or Dom have to come to the hospital. Another kid gave Ezra peanut butter crackers."
"Fucking hell," Nicola swears, calling for Dom away from the phone speaker, "love you need to keep calm for Ez. We'll bet there as soon as we can."
"Okay," you breathe, "okay."
With that the call ends and you, against your better judgement, wait to call Tom. Ezra is still freaking out, you're freaking out, the sirens are loud, and you just need to make sure Ezra is okay. The entire ambulance jerks to a stop when it arrives at the hospital. You get out first, watching as the paramedics help Ezra out by gurney.
Once inside the E.R. you're pulled to the side as doctors and nurses come over to assess the situation. Little lights are flashed into Ezra's eyes, numbers and charts are asked for, and all you want to do is coddle the boy and hide him away from everything that is scaring him in this moment.
One of the nurses approaches you and you feel worry well in your chest.
"We're going to take care of him, you got him here fast which helps us a lot. You'll need to wait out here while we get him hooked to an IV and assess his respiratory issues. As soon as we finish we'll let you back. Is there anyone you need us to call for you?" The nurse asks.
You shake your head, "I'll...I'll call his father. His grandparents are on the way too."
"Alright, while you wait you'll be given paperwork to fill out, one of us will come get you shortly."
With that the nurse follows the mass of people that are taking Ezra to another part of the E.R. You numbly take the clipboard full of paperwork and sit in a stiff chair, trying to process everything that's happened in such a short amount of time. You do your best to fill out what you can, but eventually you wait until Nicola and Dominic show up which doesn't take long.
You're given two big bear hugs from both, which surprises the hell out of you, and then they finish up the paperwork for you.
"Have you given Tom a ring yet?" Dominic asks.
You wipe at your eyes, "no...I needed to get Ezra here first...and I called you two because you're here and not in another country..."
Trailing off you pull out your phone, dialing Tom while your back is being rubbed by Nicola in a very comforting manner. You put the phone to your ears, listening to it ring...and ring...and ring until you get a "Hi. It's Tom. Do me a favor and leave your message and I'll call you back".
You hang up and scroll until you find Harrison's number instead, pressing the call button.
He only lets it ring twice, "is this Ez calling again? What did we say about stealing Y/N's mobile?"
"Harrison," you hiccup, and you can feel his lightheartedness fade, "where's Tom?"
"He's doing a shoot right now, why? Is everything alright?" Harrison asks.
You shake your head, your free hand running through your hair, "Ezra's in the emergency room. He had an allergic reaction to peanut butter crackers another kid gave him."
"Shit," Harrison hisses, "is he alright?"
"I don't know, they took him into another room. He didn't look okay; he couldn't breathe, he was puffy and red, and...and I fucking let it happen," you say, a fresh wave of tears running down your face.
You felt so much guilt on your shoulders for letting that happen. You should've said no to those stupid biscuits and just kept on playing with him. Instead Ezra ate those crackers and now he's in some sterile room probably freaking out trying to breathe.
"Hey," Dominic cuts in, and you look over, "you did what anyone would've done. Got him medicine and got him to a hospital."
"Dom and Nikki are there, yeah?" Harrison asks.
"Yes," you say.
"Good. As soon as the shoot is over I'll let Tom know, he'll probably call you from my phone. I think his is in the trailer anyways."
"Okay. Just...just tell him I'm sorry."
Harrison sighs, "you've got nothing to be sorry for. As far as I'm concerned you saved my best mate's son. Be there for him, we'll call you back soon."
"Alright, bye Harrison," you say and end the call.
The next ten minutes you tell Dominic and Nicola what happened from start to finish. Neither of them looks mad, and it takes some of the weight off your shoulders. However just thinking about Ezra right now, how panicked he must be, makes all that weight triple.
A nurse comes over and leads all three of you through a maze of halls until you hit the right room. The lights are muted, and the curtain is pulled back. On the hospital bed is Ezra looking over at you with lazy eyes. There is an IV in him and an oxygen tube is hooked over his ears and carefully put in his nose.
"We had to give him some slight sedatives. He wouldn't cooperate with us, he'll be a bit groggy for a bit, but...he's going to be just fine," the nurse explains, saying to use the call button if they need anything.
You let Nicola and Dominic go bedside first, saying hello to their grandson, asking if he's alright. Ezra sleepily preens over the attention, talking softly with his Nan and Gramp. Every minute or so you check your phone, making sure it's not on silent, checking the time, waiting for Tom or Harrison to call.
"Y/N," Ezra calls and you look up and over, a reassuring smile crossing your face.
"Hi sweetheart," you say and approach the open bedside, "you feel better?"
Ezra nods, "I breathe now."
You wince but nod, "that's good."
"I don't 'fink I like peanut butter," Ezra yawns.
That pulls a laugh out of everyone in the room and you lightly pinch his cheek, "that's probably for the better."
Your ringtone goes off, and you glance down seeing Harrison's caller I.D.
Without hesitation you swipe accept, "hello?"
"Is he alright?" Tom asks, his voice breathy and anxious.
"He's fine. Your parents and I just got into he room with him, he's going to be fine," you say, "I'll put you on speaker and give it to Ezra."
You don't bother to wait for a response before putting it on speaker and holding the phone close to Ezra's face.
"Daddy?" Ezra asks.
"Ezra...how are you feeling?"
"Okay. Sleepy."
"I bet. Did you use your pen?"
"Y/N did it," Ezra says.
"Good," Tom says and there is a bit of surprise in his voice, "that's good."
"You come home?" Ezra asks hesitantly.
There is a pause on the other end.
"I don't think I can for a while mate—"
"Please."
Of course he's using his manners this one time.
A sigh sounds from the other end, "I'll see Ez. No promises, but I'll ask. Okay?"
"Okay. I love you Daddy," Ezra says, slowly losing the battle to stay awake.
"I love you too, listen to the doctors and to Y/N," Tom says.
Nicola motions for the phone, "lemme talk to him."
You hand the woman your phone, watching as she walks out into the hall, talking under her breath. Glancing to Dominic he shrugs before focusing back on his grandson. The man runs his hand through the boy's hair, giving him a warm smile.
"You did very good today little man," Dominic says fondly, "next time just don't take food from other kids."
Ezra nods with a yawn.
"Get some sleep. I'll be right here the whole time," you tell him, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. The boy's eyes fall before he can say much else, breathing slowly and evenly as he goes to sleep. You feel the tension in your shoulders sag a bit, and the calm façade you put on fades a bit.
A few seconds later Nicola comes back in and hands the phone back to you, Tom still on the line.
"Hello?" You ask, walking towards the small window, keeping your voice low.
"I'm not mad at you," Tom says, "I'm freaked out and frustrated I'm stuck in the states...but I'm not mad at you Y/N."
"Ezra couldn't breathe at one-point Tom," you stress, leaning against the window sill.
"And you're the one who got him his Epi-Pen and got him to the hospital, you did everything right darling," Tom sighs and you can just tell by the tone of his voice how upset he is.
You look outside, noting how much the sun has moved from its peak since you've been in the E.R. When you don't say anything, Tom fills the silence with his own words instead.
"I'm going to try and get back there for a few days. Even just two," Tom says.
Although you know he can't see you, you nod, "okay. I'm sure Ezra will appreciate it."
"Y/N," Tom mutters.
"I'm really freaked out Tom," you say honestly, "watching him go into shock like that? I'm supposed to be in charge of him and responsible for his safety while you're away and I didn't do my job."
"Mum thinks you're the best," Tom says, "she just got done telling me how proud she is that I picked such a wonderful nanny."
You feel your chest grow warm at that, the curiosity you felt over Nicola leaving to talk to Tom now satisfied in more ways than one. Your teeth worry at your lip for a moment, and you take a bit to formulate your words.
"And you?" You ask.
"Are you asking if I think you're the best?" Tom asks.
You wait.
"I think you're the greatest," he says, his voice sounding so sure.
It makes your whole-body fill with thousands of butterflies.
"You should get back to filming, I'll keep you updated. They're probably going to keep him overnight to keep an eye on the swelling and breathing," you say, voice cracking a bit.
"I should...but I don't want to," Tom grumbles.
"Tom," you say warningly.
"Okay...can I call later? Maybe when Ez is up?" Tom asks.
"Of course. Good-bye Tom."
"Bye Y/N."