The plane lands I reluctantly get out of my seat stretching. I was gladly asleep most of the journey, I hate planes. They're noisy and slightly frightening as you hover in the sky, chilling with the clouds being up so high, if there was trouble the fall would be deadly.
As I get to station where the luggage is held, there is trouble with people's luggage gone missing, damn that would annoy me if I was one of those people.
I search for my name tag, nope no Ethan Blake. I require with a attendant, I am told that there has been a huge mix up with luggage and that I should leave a return address and my luggage will be delivered when it arrives.
I sigh slightly annoyed, typical. I should have seen this one coming. As I step out of London airport I'm welcomed by a warm breeze, this place hasn't changed a bit. Fruit stalls stand along the street sides, street merchants raising their voices trying to drowned out one another.
I grin as I walk along a long street filled with endless amounts of cafe's and restaurants. I wait at the bus stop, just in front of it is a cafe. The same cafe I was sat at a year ago contemplating on what to do about Bella.
The bus isn't due for twenty minutes so I head inside, everything is the same as if time had just froze took a picture and framed it. The fair old woman still works here.
I sit at the table at the window to watch out for the bus in case it arrives early, doubt it. A bus only ever arrives on time or late or not at all. She comes over to my table smiling.
"What can I get you sweet heart?" She chirps, her eyes are filled with life, a lot has changed in a year not only for myself.
"Coffee please love," I reply, she chuckles and stalks over to the counter where a young woman with brunette hair hands her the coffee pot.
She comes over with a mug and fills it, I thank her and drink it. Black energy, caffeine strong enough to smell from a mile off, always has been the same. It tastes the same, strong and husky.
I find myself staring out the window, the world. The place I once called my home town. It all just seems like a mere memory that has been twisted and lost with the hustle of life and drama.
After the time that seems wasted but felt like bliss drinking coffee thinking about the what ifs and what could have beens, I pay the kind lady and quickly head outside where my bus awaits.
After two minute discussion with the driver about how I have no idea what the fares are now cause I've been abroad, I pay the right money and get on.
They're forever putting up the prices, is the economy really getting this bad? The drive seems awfully comfortable, I watch as we drive past streets passing strangers.
Where is everyone? I remember every summer when I was around here I would see everyone, but now I see no one. What happened? Did they achieve what they wanted? Did they follow their goals are they back at square one, like myself.
The bus pulls up at the end of my street. I slowly get off the bus taking in the world I once knew. The houses seem bigger, whiter and generally better. I walk along the stoned ground, kids play around laughing and having fun.
They have it easy, what I would give to go back to the lunch box days. Where I didn't have to worry, I could just play around laugh and every time I fell down I would get back up and start playing again. Only if life was really that simple.
I stop and stand. Staring at my home, I hope they haven't moved. My parents should be inside. The house I've lived in my whole life. I walk up the garden, the grass seems greener, plants grow amongst the porch.
I knock on the door, no answer. I fumble around, reaching above the door looking for the spare key. I try under the door mat, nope not there. Skimming across the porch I search for an odd sighting, purple flowers catch my eyes. They're odd the rest are white and yellow. I walk over lifting up the put, no such luck.
Something shiny catches my eye, in the soil of the purple plant. I fumble around finding the key I grin. I wipe my hands brushing off the dirt from the key and my fingers.
Unlocking the door I push it open, welcomed by the fresh scent of lavender and that usual homily smell. I step in taking a deep breath. A smile crosses my lips, I'm home!
I shut the door behind me, there is a post it note pad on the unit as you walk into the living room. I pick it up.
"Ethan? If you come home, me and your farther are out! Love mom"
How did she know? I pick it up flicking through, they're all filled with the same thing, have they been doing this since I left? Wow they must have really been missing me.
What do I do? I've planned going home but from here I don't know. I head upstairs straight into my room, its exactly how I left it, everything in place. Well its been tidied, I wonder how many times my mom has came in here wishing she would find me.
My heart feels saddened and somewhat hollow, when I left I didn't think of them. I didn't think of the consequences, what kind of person am I? I went to make a life of my own, I bet I've practically teared their world a part, they're only son up and gone without a trail and only a few phone calls and emails here and there.
Guilt sits in my stomach, I shouldn't have left the way I did. I wonder how Bella's mother must have felt, her golden girl up and gone with a good for nothing idiot.
Bella. That's what I need to do, I should go see her, explain everything to her. I know when I left I hurt a lot of people, but I did it for her. I've risked so much, we both have. I love her and no matter what crazy shit happens I think I will always love her. I'm not giving up on her, I can't. I won't.
Before I leave I'm reminded the long journey, and just how unclean I feel. I head for the bathroom, stripping down to the nude while turning on the shower.
I enter washing myself, the water waking me up. I'm home, I am actually home. It feels like a long time coming. I wash myself, as I get out I wrap a towel around my waist.
Excitement runs through me at the thought of having Bella back in my arms, I really shouldn't get ahead of myself but it just can't be helped.
I stare at my reflection, I'm not who I used to be. I'm not that selfish sex addict that treat people like they were nothing but something unwanted on the bottom of my shoe. I'm not that womaniser.
I'm a man. An honest man who loves Bella from the bottom of his heart. A man that's willing to anything for her, even it means death.
I dry myself thinking over the things I will say to her. Grabbing my phone to check for texts I pull on a shirt, no texts no missed calls nothing.
As I pull on my pants I find myself calling Maggie. She picks up instantly.
"Hello?" Her soft voice breathes.
"Maggie! I'm in England and I'm I've just had a shower..." I'm interrupted by deep moaning noises in her background, oh.
"Ethan this call is probably going to cost you a bomb!" She replies.
"Is that Ethan, how's he doing? How was his flight?" A voice I know well pants in the background, Mr Banks. Oh I didn't see this coming.
"I'm just calling to say I'm safe and that I'm going to go to Bella's house and talk to her," I reply trying to ignore the fact I disturbed my best friend and my ex boss from having sex.
"Oh that's great, Ethan? I'm kind of busy right now..."
"I can tell," I snort.
"Can we talk later?"
"Yeah sure thing, have fun!"
"Good luck with Bella!" She says quickly before hanging up.
I suppose he decided not to go back to his wife after all. I pull on a jacket and head for the bedroom. Only to realise my legs feel rather cold; I'm only in my boxers, I forgot to put some pants on!
I pull on some black jeans and trainers. Then I'm ready to leave the room, I head downstairs putting money in my pocket. My phone rings once again. My stomach tingles as I reach for it; it could be her.
"Hello?" A strange voice says on the other end as I accept the call.
"Hi who is this?"
"Mr Blake, its your car company, I'm glad to tell you since you're back in the UK we have your car ready, some boss of yours Mr Banks had it imported and its waiting for you outside of your parents house!" He gleams.
"Thank you," I can't help but smile, my baby is safely back to me.
"You're very much welcome sir sorry for the inconvenience." He says before hanging up.
I step outside only to see a man in a suit beside my car grinning at me, I can't help but grinning too.
You can see your own reflection from the rims, the car looks glazed. The windows are blacked out, sweet.
The guy hands me the keys and bids me farewell. I get inside leaving no room for conversation. Before I start up the engine I look at my phone one more time, I should really let my parents know I'm home.
"Mom, I'm home I'm visiting Bella and I can't wait to see you and dad later, love Ethan x"
I smile at the thought of bringing Bella home to see them, they will love her. They will see just how much I have grown up. We can be a family again and they will adore Bella, they have to.
I start the engine up, I can't help but feel somewhat excited as the engine roars. Its just like brand new.
Before I know it I'm not far from Bella's house, I know the route like it was my own hand. Pulling up in the drive my heart races and I feel nervous, more nervous than I've ever been.
I slowly stalk up the narrow pathway, I knock on the door gently. What do I say? What do I tell her mother?
Bella answers, her eyes are rimmed with tear marks. Her hair is tied back her skin pale like paper. She's wearing a tank top and sweats. She looks perfect, I don't say anything I can't. I smile at her, she's here. This is happening.
"Can we talk?" I manage to push the words from the end of my tongue.
"I'm busy with my mom but we can talk outside here for five minutes," She says not meeting my eyes.
"I wanted to apologise," I say briskly as she steps towards me and shuts the door behind herself.
"I'm sorry to, a lot of things got out of hand," She whispers.
"We should forget about everything that's gone wrong,"
"Yes, I think its best if we don't back to it, go our separate ways because if we don't we're both are just going to keep getting hurt," She says finally looking me in the eye.
"What? No? I love you Bella, I need you, life is hell without you, things come and go out of my life, I've met a lot of people but not one of them has made a bigger impact in my life than you have, I love you I can't let go because it will kill me, I know you love me, don't give me its for the best shit because its not!" I tell her, meaning every word. I grab her by the waist, I need her.
Her eyes glaze, a tear falls onto her soft cheek. I brush it was with my fingers, she opens her mouth to speak but is disturbed by my phone ringing in my pocket.
She stares at me intensely as if to say answer it. I accept the call not taking my eyes off her.
"Hello?" I mutter.
"Ethan?" A sorrowful tone, a jumpy tone. What's happened?
"Mom?" I can't help but panic. Bella stares at me wide eyed.
"I-I need y-you," my mother stutters through sobs.
"What's wrong? Where are you? Where's dad?" Worry withers through me.
"C-Come to t-the hospital n-now, its your d-dad," She sobs.