Jimin POV.
- Aegiiiii! -I exclaim happily as Aegi comes running to me as soon as I exit the house for a breath of fresh air. –Where have you been? –I bend down to hold her but realize that she is holding something in her mouth. –What is that baby?
I remove the plastic bottle from her mouth and once I take a look at it, I feel a hot rush of air in my body.
Banana milk.
- Wh-where did you find this Aegi? –I ask her and all she does is turn around and fixate her eyes on the turned-down trash can in front of the neighbor's door. –Oh my, Aegi! You spilled it?
I rush over to the trash can, trying to be as quiet I can so that the neighbor doesn't hear me, and I stuff the fallen plastics back inside fastly. Whew.
Now, what is this banana milk about?
I walk over to the little chair in the garden and take a seat, my eyes still on the empty bottle in my hand.
This is weird, first the Timberlands, and now the banana milk. Why is everything suddenly so familiar?
I feel weak and butterflies hit my stomach upon the automatic thoughts rushing through my brain. My gaze makes it to the wooden door of the neighbor and I can't help but wonder...
Oh my god, no. That's not possible.
It's absolutely impossible.
- Then why all of a sudden?... –I whisper with an anxious tone and grasp the banana milk bottle harder, wishing that it wasn't so easy for me to weaken even at the thought...
What if... What would happen if he walked out of that door right now and stared into my eyes? What if his big brown orbs carved holes into mine with all the innocence, love and longing after all this time of separation? What if he was only six steps away from me? What if he was so close that I could feel his fast heartbeats just by staring at him in the eyes?
- Fuck... -I gulp out-of-breath and realize that I've been squeezing Aegi in my arms too tight for her liking. I didn't even notice her climbing my lap. She whines and I immediately loosen my arms still in a daze. –Sorry baby I didn't realize- She doesn't let me finish talking and jumps out of my lap, runs to the door of the neighbors and cuddles herself over the wooden surface. –I'm sorry...
It's too much for me. My heart is still racing and it took only a five seconds long imagination about him to get me this worked up...
I throw my head backwards and sigh with a moan. Why does it have to be like this?... Why am I still like this?... Why does it still hurt so much?...
I remember the first day that I left the BTS villa in Seoul and came to this house. It was my first night away from him, officially my first night. It was maybe the worst night of my life. Chul-soo drove me from Seoul to Busan and even wanted to stay with me that night because I was crying nonstop all the way. I didn't want Chul-soo to stay though, I wanted to be alone. I wanted to drown in my own pain and longing, because I believed I deserved to have it no other way.
He was my backbone all along. It didn't feel right to let someone else take his place... even if he wouldn't be there any longer.
Maybe I was destined to be a broken-winged bird from that moment on.
I believe that my heart is sealed. I can't fall in love again, neither want to. It's too unbearable, too painful. Love is the biggest test life put me through, and I couldn't pass it. I can't even remember the good parts about being in love anymore, because the last three years drowned me in so much sadness and loneliness that even if I remember a good memory, I remember it with a sad smile on my face.
Sometimes I think that I become the opposite when I'm trying to live as a kind and thoughtful person.
I isolated myself from everyone for three years, because I thought it would be unfair to everyone if I were with him despite all the trouble we have caused. I thought that it would be selfish to enjoy my life with him while everyone had theirs upside down because we wanted to be in love.
I thought that love... was a choice to make.
And I chose not to.
But... maybe I was wrong.
"Time heals." It didn't.
"You'll eventually move on." I couldn't.
"It won't hurt like it did the first day." It hurts even more.
Maybe love was not a choice, but a promise... You can't break promises once you make one, can you?...
I feel like I trapped myself in a little lie, trying to be the rightful guy, which was of use to no one. Who cares about me right now? Who cares about my sacrifice? Who cares about me?
Even my own parents don't give a shit.
- What the hell am I doing? –I whisper to myself, realizing that I've been sitting here for more than fifteen minutes, doing nothing but blankly staring in front of me.
I stand up in a hurry because if I don't distract myself immediately, I'm going to start crying and lose my mind.
I'll grab a drink. Yeah, I won't drink too much, just a bottle maybe... And I don't want to do it at home all alone, because I overdrink when I'm by myself and I can't afford to be found passed out by Chul-soo again.
I'm still feeling sick, but the medication and the five cups of tea seem to be working out. I grab my coat and exit the courtyard.
...
Jungkook POV.
- Ahh, I missed here hyung.
- I missed walking here with you, troublemaker.
We chuckle as we walk along the seaside. Jung-Hyun hyung and I went to visit his art studio in the morning, I met with the staff and got familiar with the equipment and the workspace he spared for me. Then we had dinner at a restaurant near Haeundae beach, and after decided to take a walk.
Here we are now.
Busan looks absolutely breath-taking at night. I breath in hugely and slowly exhale, feeling the dissolution of the sea air inside my body. I feel carefree and relaxed.
We talk as we walk through the lovely shore, it's a good time. I think I will find myself coming to the beach a lot during my stay here. The office is really close to the seaside, although it is around half an hour away from my new house. With the bus, it would take much shorter to arrive but I think I want to get a motorcycle just for fun.
I learned how to ride a motorcycle last year. It is my hobby I can say, I enjoy it a lot but I don't have one. Maybe I should buy one here...?
- Oh hyung! Look! –I point to the line of food stalls on the left side of the shore.
It's the famous Busan pojangmacha, in other words, stalls that can be thought of as street food. They make the best food ever, fast-food and seafood too. It's a famous Korean tradition to eat and have a drink in these food tents, especially at nights out.
Soju just tastes better in pojangmacha, there's no dispute to that.
- If we hadn't eaten earlier I would buy for you in one of those Jungkook-ah. –Jung-Hyun hyung says with a frown as I only giggle and pat his shoulder.
- I just got excited hyung, it's okay! It's been a while since I came to the sea in Busan, that's why.
He is about to reply but both our attentions are pulled to the sudden noise coming from one of the stalls. Just a couple of shops far, a couple of people seem to be fighting or in a heated discussion.
- What is that? Should we help? –Jung-Hyun hyung says in worry and approximates to the location. I follow him from behind in a mixture of worry and curiosity.
- You didn't pay, Sir!
- What? I paid already ahjumma, aren't you lying?!
- How dare you accuse me of lying in my own shop? Look at this disrespectful kid!
- What should I do if you are trying to steal my money? I said I paid already ahjumma!
The weirdest thing about all this is that the voice sounds overly familiar... It tingles my nerves but I throw it aside.
Hyung signs me to stay outside as he lifts the curtain of the stall where the crisis seems to be happening and goes inside. As soon as he enters there is a bit of silence, and then the ahjumma starts complaining again, but this time the customer doesn't seem to be responding.
I'm curious, I wanna check what's going on too but I don't want to go against my hyung's word.
- Jungkook. –He suddenly calls my name while holding the curtain lifted from inside. –I think you need to come here.
Me?
I immediately comply and enter inside the little shop.
I'm not ready to see what I seem to be staring at.
Oh. My. God. I'm not dreaming r-right?
- J-Jim...inie...
At that moment everyone and everything disappears and a deep silence settles to the world. I can only see him, I can only feel my heart beat for him.
He is staring back at me, eyes wide open and jaw fallen, cheeks red and body frozen.
It's him, it's the exact same person I have been dreaming about for years, the same person I fell in love with, and the same person I want to be with right now.
It's my Jimin.
Do you ever fantasize about a moment in your life, perfectly plan your reactions, your feelings and actions? I played this scenario a million times in my head. I dreamt about it. I wrote it down. I memorized it as if I could predict this moment.
But ask me what I'm doing right now.
It's nothing like a plan.
It's as if a tornado broke out and I'm stuck in the middle of it, as if the only way to save myself from it is to hold him. It's as if everything is going to collapse if I don't make a move right now, right here. It's as if I finally found him but it's so unreal that I feel like he is going to fade away just this second.
And so the only next thing I remember is wrapping my arms around him and crashing him unto myself, hungrily and desperately as if I lost my mind. I remember tearing up with a stutter-breath that I thought would cut my airways, I remember being intoxicated with his smell in despair and I yelp. I remember calling out the beginning of his name and stopping at the middle due to the locking up of my throat, I remember repeatedly clutching my fingers at his sweater and pulling him closer, closer, and closer.
And then I remember feeling his arms around me. I remember his hot breath hit my neck, I remember him uttering my name back, I remember him crying... I remember his body tremble under my arms and I remember wanting to shout out so loud so that everything pulls their burden off of his fragile heart and he calms down.
All that echoes in my mind is "Jimin", "Jimin", and again, "Jimin".
It's as if my brain was locked out of a chain, set free and focused on the most important thing, the only one.
- You're here... -It's all that I could make in between his occasional stutters.
- I'm here. -I say automatically and burry my face unto his neck, letting my tears sink and my heart beat against his. -I'm here and I'm never going to let you go again. Never.
...
- I think he is drunk Jungkook.
I giggle as I watch Jimin hyung break into his fifth episode of laughter. I have my arm wrapped around his waist to hold him stable and he is clinging unto me and doing nothing but laughing crazily. We are walking on the Busan streets to anywhere random.
I giggle with him.
Again and again.
- Stop it both of you!
Jung-Hyun hyung breaks out in anger, startling Jimin hyung, who has a pout on his lips now.
- Look what you did hyung! -I scold my hyung, who has a shocked face now. -You made him sad!
- Me?! -He points at himself and then smacks me in the head. Aish, that hurt! -I'm saying that he is drunk! It's the middle of the night, we don't know where he lives, it's not funny!
- I'll take him to my house.
My hyung's eyes widen.
- I won't let you!
- Jungkookie... -We are disturbed by Jimin hyung's lovely voice that so sweetly makes it into my right ear, the side where is cuddled on. We both turn our gazes at him, mine particularly full of love and smiles. He grins cutely at me, staring at my lips and then at my eyes. He's hella drunk, which is the cutest and hottest thing at the same time. -Jungkookie... -He repeats, looking into my eyes as if he is in a slumber. Oh my god, literally the most beautiful thing I've seen all my life. It's him. I can't even believe he is real right now. I can't believe I found him...
- Tell me. -I say focusing my attention on him and wrapping my other arm around him too. He grins lazily and then releases a hiccup laugh.
- Jungkookie... -He repeats, yet again, so delicately, so courteously, so coyly-
- Oh come on, cut the crap! -That's my rude hyung. -We gotta go!
- You can go hyung. -I say without realizing that I said inconsiderately. He is staring at me blankly. -I mean, I'm going to see you tomorrow, I'll just take Jimin hyung home.
- Jungkook, you can't take him home. -He says with an affirmative tone, walking close to me. -He is drunk. -His eyes point at Jimin hyung, who is staring at the sky and pouting now. Why is he so cute-
- Then what do I do? Leave him here in the street?
- Find his address or something, doesn't he have a phone or something?
- No! -I respond with a loud voice that I didn't intend to make so loud. I panic for a while as he gives me a questioning stare. -I mean, I'll take care of him. You go. It's late already.
He continues to stare at me as if he's still trying to make his point, but I do the same, and after a while he is gone.
He left a bit angry though...
I'll make it up to him, whatever, I don't care right now.
I stare at my right side again, I stare at my angel. He looks back at me and smiles sweetly.
- Hey. -I say with a crazy grin as he does the same and snuggles himself closer to me. Oh gosh my heart won't stop beating tonight.
- Are you going to take me home?
I nod trying to hold back my laughter.
- Were you expecting someone else to?
He blinks.
- I just wasn't expecting you.
I gulp slowly and pull him to my chest, hugging him tightly and closing my eyes so that the moment lasts a little longer. His arms wrap around my belly and I can feel his shoulders cramp upwards from how close I'm pulling him to myself.
- I'm always here now. -I whisper from above and plant a kiss on the top of his head.
Our hug goes on and I realize that it got really cold outside now. I run my hand up and down his arm to warm him up, I want to protect him from everything.
- Is it okay if I take you over to my house for tonight? -I ask, anticipating him to say 'yes' because there is no way I'm letting him go. Even if he tells me his address, I'm taking him to mine because I'm planning on doing nothing tonight but watching him sleep until the morning.
- Mm.
I look down and realize he is asleep already.
Oh my baby.
We are literally in the middle of an empty street, we need to take a taxi home. There's no other way.
I grab him bridal style gently, extra careful to not wake him up and like that we walk in the Busan streets. I can't stop smiling, and I'm even laughing most of the time.
Jiminie is in my arms.
He's here.
He's cuddling to me.
He's sleeping in my arms.
I'm holding him.
He's... real. This is real.
I am awoken from a worm hole of bland dreams, finally after three years. It feels like an eternity passed, I don't even remember the last time I felt so alive and purposeful.
I fell in love all over again tonight.
And this time, no matter what, I'm not letting go.
I'm going to hold him so tight that even if the world raptures into millions of pieces, we are going to remain as one.