Chapter 11
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE TO DESERVE HER. She’s too good for me, I know this.
But here she sleeps soundly in my arms, accepting me and my faults, all my lies and monstrous secrets.
She doesn’t seem sick while she’s sleeping. There is no whimpering, clutching stomachs or restlessness.
What am I doing here? My life is not for her. I’m so unhealthy for her life. I’ll steal her from her own humanity soon. But I bet she’ll be okay with that and that is what kind of scares me.
Okay, forget the soundless sleeping. Whimpers escape her suddenly and she is shivering as she scoots closer to me; any closer and she’ll be on top of me.
Like I mind. I welcome her tightly into my arms, covering her shivering body in her thick comforter as she starts to settle down a little from her almost frenetic stage.
It’s Saturday tomorrow so, if she’s up for it, I’ll have to do something to make up all the times I’ve mistreated her. Which is practically every minute I have spent with her, I’m sure. She doesn’t know it but it’s true. And when she asks about Cassidy?
What will I say? The less she knows, the safer she is but she is so damn stubborn that is probably going to be impossible.
“How do you stand to be so close to her…and not have her remind you of ourreminiscences?” Okay, this voice scares the crap out of me. It’s not Skai who is talking; she’s still fast asleep, her face snuggled deep in my chest and angels do not imagine things, let alone go crazy.
So what did I just hear? I glance up to, for the first time in more than two hundred years, feel a shade of human again.
Long brown curled hair sits lively over broad, gentle shoulders that run down to a beautiful figure, I’ll admit though that makes me feel so disgusted.
This figure wears an Armani leather jacket and black leather skintight leggings with ankle boots with a thin stiletto heel. Two slender, long arms are folded across the chest that leads me to quickly glance over the Seven Gods necklace; a simple silver chain with a large, clean cut Tanzanite gem (from the Meralani mines) seated neatly inside a thick plain white gold silver rim, imbedded with slanting rows of glittering round diamonds. Outside, that made a band of gold, making a fragile web around the hundreds of tiny diamonds.
My eyes linger a few seconds longer on the necklace, recognizing it the second I saw it, and then settled on a face. This face brings back memories. Some good, some bad…most of them bad. And painful above all.
She has a slight widow's peak with fairly large eyes. The smoldering charcoal granite black color that almost sparkles when they hit sunlight. Her eyebrows are as dark as her hair, with a slim jawline and too full lips. She is slender but not muscular with a beautiful figure. She is evil. She is manipulating. She is betraying.
…she is…
“…Cassidy,” I murmur, my lips barely moving to her name when she smiles meekly and lands her hands to her hips.
“Felix Sanestarro.” Each two words is separate and distinct, a larger smile tugging at her lips as she slowly starts making her way towards my side of the bed. Already I’m on the other side of the room.
“What? Are you scared of me?” she fakes a hurt voice. “You hurt my feelings, Felix.” But then she smiles. The smile that she gave me every time she wanted something. And she got it from me.
“What are you doing here?” my voice is calm, collected. Just because she controlled me for a few decades doesn’t mean I’ve learned to overcome her over the following decades.
“Oh, come now, Felix. Why be so insolent; aren’t you going to introduce me to your little friend?” she motions to Skai and I let out a hiss, suddenly grounding myself in front of Skai’s soundless body.
“Stay away from her.” I growl, clear warning in my voice. But then exaggerated realization swarms over Cassidy’s face.
“…is this your little Skai? My, she is a cute one, I’ll give you that. But then all that is brought down by the mere fact that she’s human. Dejected if you ask me. It’s almost…sad.” She snickers to the side before sliding passed me, and I stay where I am, one hundred percent alert as she gazes down at her doppelgänger, her finger running scarcely across her cheek and I have to clench my fists together to contain ripping her limb from limb.
But then it comes to me that ripping her to pieces might not be such a bad idea after all. So I blur behind her and aim for her neck first, ready to twist it like a piece of string before she ducks out my way and I’m left grabbing air. But I don’t stop there. I try again, and this time I get her, pinning her against the wall, a rumbling snarl ripping from my throat. I want to kill her now. Right here.
Here we go, Felix. Go…and one more try…GO! Damn it, Felix, you idiot.
There goes that voice again that pulls me between right and wrong. Now I’m left hanging. I need answers from her. I want to kill her but I want her alive. How is that right for anybody?
She’s not worth it. I think. Crap, I don’t know.
“I knew you didn’t have it in you.” She breathes in my face. “You never will.” She’s probably right by all honesty though I hate to admit it.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demand furiously but, as always, she ignores my questions.
“Do you think Tyler will be as happy as you are to see me? I’ve missed you guys so much. You especially.”
She traces my bottom lip with her index finger, down the line of my jaw and to my chest when I grab her hand and push her back against the wall. My actions only make her smile more.
Of course. Nothing will wipe that sneer off her face. “Oh, come on, Felix.” Cassidy whines.
She blurs right through my grip and she takes me by surprise when her arms wound slowly around my neck from behind and I can’t even move––even if I want to.
“Why fight something that you know makes you feel so good?” her words literally make me sick. If I could, I’d throw up right now. Honestly, too bad I can’t. “Of course, you haven’t changed at all, have you? You’re still insecure. Still so scared of losing something. Someone who you think is right for you. Why would you even think that she would ever be good for you––?”
“Because she’s nothing like you.” I grit through my teeth, still making sure we keep our voices low as not to wake Skai.
“Oh, come on, Felix. We both know you’re only with her for me. Because she looks exactly like me. Or she would mean nothing to you.” She tells me, not bothering to lower her voice but it doesn’t seem to disturb Skai. But her words infuriate me more than any words I have ever heard from her. And that takes a lot.
They infuriate me so much, I close my eyes, clench my fists into balls until I’m sure I’d crush my own bones if I had any and take four silent steps backwards, praying to God that I don’t do anything stupid or reckless that will put Skai in any more danger than she already is just with Cassidy being in the same room.
“Admit it, Felix. You’re still not over me, are you? You never truly let me go.”
“I can decipher that, thank you very much, Cassidy.” My voice is reasonable and respectful though I know she doesn’t deserve it. “What I’d really like to know is why you came back. There’s nothing here for you.”
Again, she just smiles at me and steps closer till I’m against the wall, and I don’t have any intention of leaving yet.
Yet.
“…I came back for you.” She tells me. This renders all protection for a split second towards Skai as these words sink in. She wants me to come back with her…
Bullshit.
My protection upsurges as I stare at Cassidy with hard eyes. I thought she was dead. I thought she died centuries ago.
“You’re full of crap, you worthless bi––”
“You don’t think I love you? Still? After everything––?”
“You left me for him! I didn’t have a choice but to let you go. You used me, Cassidy, and then you have the nerve to come bouncing back some hundred years later to tell me you want me back?!” The fury is building up inside me and I’m barely able to control it. But Skai can’t see her here. See us like this. She doesn’t deserve any if this.
“What makes you think that I’d go back for you for anything?”
She only shakes her head, no smile for once across that beautiful face. As she slowly starts to come even closer to me again, she says, “…because I know how to get your humanity back.”