FRIDAY
"Did you ever tell your mom about your dad showing up?" Jamie asks as we head toward the lobby.
I shake my head.
"If she shows up to get me this time, I guess I'll tell her then."
Jamie nods and gives me a half smile.
I'm surprised, yet relieved, to see my mother is already waiting for me at the front lobby. Once I come into view, she is quick to my side, pulling me into a hug. I gasp in surprise as her arms tighten around my neck.
"Mom?"
"I'm so sorry. I really am." She mumbles into my hair.
I sigh and pull myself out of her grasp.
"It's okay. I just wanna go home."
She nods and heads toward the door to wait for me. I grab my cell phone from the cardboard box that sits on top of Cindy's desk and hug Jamie goodbye.
"If anything happens, call me. I'll be there."
She smiles and gives me a short nod.
"I will."
I wave at her once more before meeting mom at the glass doors and following her outside to the car.
"I really am sorry." She tells me as we pull out of the parking lot and onto the fairly busy street.
"It's fine. Jamie and Nate's mom let me stay with them for the weekend so I wouldn't have to stay there by myself."
She nods.
"That was really thoughtful of them."
"Did you have fun?"
I swallow and fight the urge to cry as the scenes of that night replay in my mind.
"Matthew?"
She turns her attention from the road over to me. "Did something happen?"
I nod and take a deep breath in through my nose.
"Nate and I left Jamie at their apartment for a couple hours. Their mom was at work so she was home alone." I start, already feeling my throat begin to close up to try and prevent myself from saying the words out loud.
"What happened?"
"Jamie was raped, mom." I tell her brokenly.
I hear her gasp, her eyes filling with sadness as she pulls into our driveway and stops the car.
"Do they know who did it?"
I nod again.
"The neighbor, Robert. Nate and I walked in when he was..." I can't even finish the sentence.
She must understand what I'm trying to say because she kisses the side of my head.
"I'm sorry, Matthew. Let's get inside and we can talk, okay?"
I nod and let myself out of the car, following her to the front door.
Usually I would have some smart remark to say about how she waited two years to decide to finally talk to me, but I don't have the energy to fight her. She's getting better. She's changing, and I'm really glad about it.
She flops down onto the couch and waits for me to do the same, her eyes staying focused on me.
"They pressed charges, correct?"
"Yeah. He took a plea bargain though, so he got a reduced sentence."
I hear her huff.
"I hate the fact that they actually let bastards like that man off easy. Even after assaulting a child. It makes me sick."
"Me too, mama. Me too."
"There's something you should know." I add.
Her face falls and she props herself up, sitting on her knees, waiting for me to continue.
"I saw dad."
She stays silent.
"He came to the hospital after he got my letter."
She clears her throat and I know she's trying her best to keep her voice as neutral as possible.
"What did he say?"
I choke out a laugh.
"He didn't get to say much. I flipped out on him and ended up punching him in the nose. Nate had to drag me away and he was escorted outside."
"Jesus, Matthew." She sighs, rubbing her hand down her face.
"I know I shouldn't have hit him. You can save the lecture."
"I wasn't going to lecture you. But you're right, you shouldn't have hit him. No matter how I or anyone else feels about that man, he is still your father."
I groan and lean my head back against the couch cushions.
"I think you should call him."
I jerk my head up, giving her an astonished look.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Her lips purse together and she gives me a warning glare.
"The least you can do is apologize. If you don't want to talk to him about anything else, that's fine. But you can manage an apology."
I roll my eyes.
"He's probably half way back to Georgia by now."
"You can still call his cell."
"Mom, he's probably got a new phone by now anyways. Can't you just let this go?"
"I have his new number. He made me keep in so he could keep a check in on you."
My face twists in confusion.
"He did?"
She nods.
"Then why didn't he know I was in the hospital."
"I never told him. I could barely admit it to myself, much less to him."
I bow my head down and pick at my fingernails. I knew she was ashamed.
"Oh."
"Hey. I know what you're thinking and that's not it. I had a hard enough time after Eva, and then having to see you like that nearly killed me."
"You never acted like it."
"I couldn't. I had to keep it together because if I didn't, I knew everything would fall apart. But it feels like it already has."
"It can change." I mumble.
I can see her nod out of the corner of my eye.
"Yeah, it can."
"Can I ask you something?" I mutter, bringing my eyes up to meet her gaze slowly.
"Yes."
"Do you love me?"
She scoffs and lets out a short laugh.
"Of course I do. What kind of question is that? You're my son."
I give her a tight smile.
"Would you still love me even after I told you a secret?"
I can feel my heart beat thumping in my ears. It's so loud that I could swear she hears it too.
"What is it?"
She never answered the question, but I've come this far, right? I can't keep it hidden from her forever. I'm tired of keeping secrets and being miserable because of it. I need to hurry up and say it before I chicken out, but my mouth seems to go dry.
I lick my lips and breathe out slowly, closing my eyes.
"I'm gay."
She stays silent. I can feel her eyes studying me from the opposite side of the couch but I can't make myself look up at her. She's probably waiting for me to laugh and tell her it was just a joke, but I don't.
Her silence fills the room to the point of it being deafening. I can't help but wish that Nate were with me. He always seems to make everything better, even when it looks like a lost cause.
"Are you sure?"
I choke out a dry laugh and nod.
"Yeah, I am."
"You're with Nate aren't you?"
I give her a sheepish smile.
"How'd you know?"
"I had a feeling from the beginning, but I wasn't for sure." She snorts.
"Is he good to you?"
"Yeah, he really is. He's helped me through so much these last two months. He makes me really really happy."
I hear her sigh and drop her hands down into her lap.
"Well, it's not what I would have dreamed up for you in my own little fantasy," she laughs. "But if he makes you happy, then I'm alright with it."
I feel tears prick in my eyes as I launch myself into her arms. All this time, I had worried myself to death over her hating me or disowning me from the family, and now that she knows and is okay with it, I feel the happiest I have in a really long time.