"So he really is a king, huh?" Alfred says.
Alex rolls his eyes. "A prince, Al. A prince."
I had promised Mr. Chris that I would spill only some of the tea to the gang, but not all the details about the twins being the Kings' adopted kids and all that shit.
N i c e.
...Should I be calling him Satsu now? But Chris sounds gay, and the bastard practically emits gay energy whenever I walk by him, so...
...
...Ehh, I'll just call him Satsu. He said I could, anyway.
"Loviiiiii!!!"
I smile, and hug my boyfriend. "You're late, dumbass."
"Only by five minutes," he laughs. "So, what're we talking about?"
A sigh escapes everyone's mouths.
"Spill the tea, Kuya," Clarisse mumbles.
"Oi, don't call me that," I groan. "Anyway, uh, great news. Our American History teacher is...a wolf...demon...thing."
Antonio smirks. "Told you."
"What about Jones?" asks Matthew.
"He's a dog," I reply. "At least, that's what Satsu told me before he left."
--
"No," I say, slamming my bag onto the ground. "No, no, and no."
We all ended up having a meeting in our dorm, about the whole 'Our Teachers Are Actually Animal Demon Things'...tea.
...And now Satsu wants all of us to meet up to talk about it at my place -- including him and Jones.
"Why not, though?" Jones asks. "We're allowed to be in your dorms."
"For only a specific period of time, though," Clarisse says. "On behalf of the school rules and legal law." She flashes the teachers a sweet smile.
Satsu makes a face. "You aren't even allowed in Lovino and Antonio's room, though. On behalf of school rules and the law."
"Incorrect," Haru says. "It's on behalf of the school rules. But this is important, right?"
"We already know what goes on between certain students at our school, anyway," Jones sighs, glancing at me, Antonio, Arthur, and Alfred. "We know, yet we haven't done anything about it. I wonder why?" His eyes shift towards his husband, and he winks.
Satsu's cheeks turn pink, and he turns his eyes to all of us. "So, what's the deal?"
"No," I snort. "It's illegal for teachers to hang out with students outside of school. Get a fucking grip."
"Technically I'm not really your teacher--"
"Lalalala, I can't fucking hear you~"
"I have an idea," says Jones. "We can both disguise ourselves. Lovino, does your apartment allow pets?"
...Why me, though--
"Yeah," Antonio says. "I've always wanted a cute cat~ Or a turtle, too!"
"Shut up," I mumble, elbowing him.
Antonio makes a pouty face. "Aww."
I blush, and look away. "Save your stupid life plans for later, dammit. I want to hear all of them."
Obviously convinced, he smiles and looks up at Jones and Satsu.
In a flash, Jones and Satsu disappear in a whirl of light, similar to when Feliciano and I transform into our demon forms. Except their transformations looked painless, in contrast to ours.
And now...there are animals in their place.
...
...Is this even fucking legal?
"Y'all are gonna get caught," Alfred says. "We get it -- you can transform into puppies. Transform back before Ms. Ren sees us, bros."
"Arf," Jones barks, moving closer to me. I jump, and hide behind my boyfriend. The dog totters over to the potato bastard, who gladly pats him.
Satsu-dog walks over to me. "We can still talk, you know."
"That's a relief," Antonio laughs. "So...you're both dogs?"
Offended, he makes a face. "No, I'm a wolf."
"Oh, sorry," Antonio replies. "Wolf. Satsu the king wolf!"
Satsu grins, and walks closer to my boyfriend. I grimace. Why the fuck do I have to live such a weird life?
"We're not meeting at my place," I groan. "Do you have any fucking idea how big my fear of large animals is?"
"But Jones' dog form is cuuuuute," Clarisse protests. "Kuya, you're so KJ. What a fucking kill-joy."
"He's a Shiba Inu," Haru says, smiling. "I like those."
"Doge," Alfred mumbles.
"I am all up for it," Kiku agrees.
The potato bastard smiles. "I agree with everyone but Lovino."
"Shut up!!" I groan. "Nobody asked for your fucking opinion, bastard!! We're not having dogs at the meeting--"
"Then it's settled!!" Alfred says. "Jones and Satsu will join us at tomorrow's meeting, at Lovino's apartment, 12 PM sharp!!"
Everyone cheers, and I roll my eyes, turning towards my boyfriend. "Antonioooooooo. Help meeeeeee."
But this time, he doesn't side with me -- instead, he chuckles, and squeezes my hand. "Aw, c'mon, Lovino -- lighten up a little bit! I've always wanted a dog~"
"And a cat?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "You know those two don't mix, right?"
"Yeah, but don't you remember how we met? You hated me, called me an asshole every day, and I showered you with affection, and look at us now!!"
"That's...not the same thing."
"Yeah, it is!!"
"...Dogs can't mate with cats, Antonio."
"Anything is possible~"
"Eww. Shut up."
--
"You've...never been with anyone like this before?" Antonio asks.
I smile. "There was...one girl."
"Oooh..."
"I was thirteen," I sigh. "It was...weird. I understand girls, but not as much as Feliciano, so when she asked if we could hang out at my place, I think it's safe to say that I fucking panicked."
Antonio laughs, and ruffles my hair. "So, what happened next?"
I shrug. "I said yes, and so we hung out in my room and shit. But then she tried to kiss me, and that's when I felt the need to back out. Just wasn't ready for that shit, I guess."
"So...you didn't kiss her?"
"Oh, I did. But it was quick as hell. But you know what happened after that?"
Antonio's eyes widen in curiosity. "What?"
A snort of laughter escapes my lips. "Later on, before she left, she told me that she was actually into girls, and that she only fell for me because I hadn't even hit puberty yet and I looked so much like a chick."
My boyfriend rolls his eyes. "Typical. So she was a lesbian, after all?"
"Yup. Not complaining, though. She was pretty for someone her age. She could've worn less lip gloss, though." I cringe at the memory. "Fucking nasty, man."
"You're so funny," he laughs. "So...you're bisexual?"
"Yeah," I sigh. "But I kinda lean more towards men, if you know what I mean? Like, it doesn't seem that way at first -- more like the opposite, if anything, but...that's just how I feel, I guess."
"So you're half gay?" Antonio jokes, poking my cheek. I glare at him.
"I'm all gay," Satsu (the wolf) barks. I inch away from him, and sigh. Who the fuck decided that this was going to be a good idea?
"Me too," Jones (the dog) barks. "Woof!"
"Why is Jones-dog so fucking wholesome and adorable?" Haru sighs.
Alfred grins. "Because he looks like me."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard today," Arthur grunts.
"Come to think of it," Mei says, "don't you two have the same name? Alfred....Jones..."
"But I'm Alfred F. Jones," Al complains. "I'm the original."
"Get a fucking grip," I snort. "We can try to find a nickname for the other Alfred."
"What about 'Woof'?" Satsu jokes. I roll my eyes.
Clarisse shrugs. "I dunno. Alfred Two?"
"Alfred the Second," Arthur suggests.
"Gramma Jones," I mumble. "He's old."
"Daddy Jones?" Satsu suggests.
"No," Jones groans.
"Da-"
"NO."
Satsu smirks at Jones, and I give another sigh.
"Why don't we just call him...Jones?" Mei asks.
"Woah, why didn't I think of that?" Alfred gasps. I shake my head.
Back to square-fucking-one.
--
"House party?"
Liz nods. "To celebrate the end of the term. You guys coming?"
"Hell yeah," Alfred says. "Your house is huge!! Could I bring my phone and play some music over your Bluetooth speakers?"
"Yeah," she says. "Go for it."
I actually like it when one of them has house parties -- especially when there are guest rooms and shit. Don't...don't ask why, dammit.
"Loviiiiiiiiii!!"
I roll my eyes, and turn towards him. "What?"
"Can we go to Liz's party? Please? Please?"
"No," I snort. "I was planning on spending some quality time with you, dammit."
"Aww."
"Why do you look so sad?"
"Because I wanna gooooo!!"
"Christ, you're like a little kid. Fine."
"Yaaaaaaay!! Thanks, Lovi~"
"Mmph."