why do I do that? that thing, where I say I'm going to do something yet don't even make it halfway through. I've devised the plan, start to finish, but there I go crumbling them up, setting myself up for failure.
- impulsiveness
one of the broken promises I make, most often is that I get so frustrated I tell myself not to let anyone in. To shut the whole world out. It's bad sometimes. As I reach this point I don't feel like talking to anyone. It is as if I'm bluntly blaming everyone around me, begging for them to go away. When in reality, I need them the most. It's annoying needing people, have I always been this clingy? Holding on to things, solely because of the memories they held with me. It is as if everything that comes through my doors, I grow attached too afraid that they'll go away. I don't want to have people but I need people, is that so wrong?
I already have so many that hate me as it is, why do I lie to myself saying I'm done with people and there I go. Walking in circles once again.
I don't want to let anyone in, but something about meeting new people ignites a fire in my soul. Though it could hurt, people can be so beautiful. Learning how they think, act, live, is interesting to me. I can never grasp the concept of how people can be alluring. Maybe we need to dig deeper and accept that we all need to put aside our differences. Put down your barrier and let me in.
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