warning: it's 5 am and I haven't gone to bed yet so I'm writing this out of boredom... it's very weird.
the one with the sleep paralysis demon...
'twas a very strange night
Kim Taehyung was fast asleep when suddenly
min yoongi entered the room
Taehyung woke up and looked at yoongi
"The fuck yo gay ass want?" Taehyung asked without moving
"Yo dick"
"Mm.. makes sense but I got Kookie hiding in the closet."
"What the fuck Taehyung?" Jungkook came out of the closet
"Wow he really DID come out of the closet." Yoongi said
"Get naked bitch." Jungkook looked at him
"Excuse me I'm older than-"
"Remember last week?"
"..k fine." Yoongi whined
"Aight. Koo koo... I put you in the fucking closet for a reason. And yoongi... I never asked for you. So both of you go fuck in Jungkooks room."
"..but Hoseok has a girl in there..." Jungkook says
"Then Yoongis room. I don't know maybe Jimin will join." Taehyung said before he tried going back to sleep
"Taehyung, Jimin's having a THREESOME in our room."
"That ain't my problem bitch." Taehyung turns over in bed
"Balcony?" Jungkook asked
Yoongi shrugged then they walked to the balcony
"I swear to god these hoes finna be loud as- WHAT IS THAT?" Taehyung heard banging coming from Namjoon and Jin's room.
Taehyung covered his face and ears with his pillow and drifted to sleep~
3:23 am
"Huh the fuck?" Taehyung tries to get up but is unsuccessful. "Ew I can still hear Yoongi moaning what the fuck?" Taehyung tried getting up again but he was stuck
"Ah shit, here we go again."
"You know. Demon thing. I don't want you here. I was having the cutest dream too. I was dreaming of Jungkooks ass with strawberries- I MEAN- I was dreaming of eating strawberries. They were delicious. More delicious than those mints the other day.
Hey demon. I don't see you but I know for a fact you're here. But- why don't we just- OKAY!" Taehyung gasped as he saw the shadow like figure standing at the end of his bed
"All I wanted was some gud fuk." Taehyung said
"THE FUCK?!" Taehyung thought in his head since he couldn't open his mouth anymore
"Yo demon thing- can you like. Back up.. I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR MY THOUGHTS!" Taehyung gave the shadow a weird look
"Okay eewwwww! Damn for a shadow you fucking UGLY!" Taehyung thought
"This hoe definitely can hear my thoughts and he's being a big baby about it. I swear to god. If your ass gives me another episode I will kill you! YOU TURNED JIN INTO A MONSTER IN MY LAST EPISODE! Your gay shadow ass knows I always go straight to Jin so I can cry to him about you so you made it seem real. Fucking FAKE! You come over to my BEDROOM- UNINVITEDLY- to HARASS me! We could've been friends JUST SAYING!" Taehyung glared at the shadow that was now on top of him
Taehyung couldn't move his body only his eyes
"Dude- if you need a friend you know where I am." Taehyung gave the shadow another look. "Hold up. Are you a girl? IS THAT WHY- oh my god I knew it! Women see me and suddenly they're in my bedroom! Y'all hella scary. Can't get a LICK of sleep. This is why I'm gay. D-DONT GIVE ME THAT LOOK! Hmph... who knew a shadow can judge you too. Hey can I name you? How do you like Jackson? No.? Well how the fuck can I know you have no face just a fucking shadow. C-can you give a thumbs up? Is that possible. WHOA-" the shadow figure went away
"Aw man... kinda miss Jackson." Taehyung said
Suddenly he woke up
"And so I asked if he liked the name Jackson- AND HE JUST LEFT!" Taehyung said as he drank his orange juice and looked at Jin
"Okay stop crying. Maybe it was a girl..?" Jin asked
"I don't know! Jackson is a unisex name for sure!" Taehyung yelled and got all teary eyed again
"Stop crying- so was I a demon with horns again?" Jin asked as he poured his milk in a bowl before his cereal
"No... I asked but he ignored me. Like Jackson is just so rude." Taehyung said
"The rudest." Jin said
"Hey what are we talking about?" Namjoon came in ShiRtLeSs (that adds no point to the story but just imagine Namjoon shirtless... you're welcome)
"Damn NAMTIDDIES!" Jin slapped namjoons right tiddie
"I heard y'all fucking last night." Taehyung Said
"Everyone in the house was fucking or getting fucked by someone." Jin said
"BOTTOM RIGHTS!" Yoongi came in and high fives Namjoon
"You two are the only bottoms." Taehyung says
"You know it baby." Hoseok comes in and puts his arm around Yoongi
"This bitch mine you can fuck off." Jungkook moved Hoseok's arm off Yoongi
"What?" Hoseok asked
"Well... while you were FUCKING a girl in MY bedroom yoongi and i fucked on the balcony." Jungkook said before he sipped his water
"Oh so that explains so much..." Namjoon says then walks out of the kitchen
"It's not my fault she was hot and your room is the cleanest." Hoseok said
"WANNA BET? MY ROOM IS SO CLEAN!" Jin yells
"Not anymore after last night." Namjoon comes back and pats Jin's back
"OKAY WELL IT USUALLY IS CLEAN! It's not my fault you wanted to role play during sex."
"YOU WHAT- Namjoon... this isn't bottom behavior. I am so very disappointed." Yoongi clenched his chest
"My man." Jimin comes over and high fives Namjoon
"And I see you're done with those two girls." Namjoon said
"Yeah they're in your bathroom though." Jimin looked at Jungkook
"Ewwww!" Jungkook ran to his bathroom, "GET THE FUCK OUT YOU HETEROSEXUALS!"
"Well damn." The girls left
"Good job." Yoongi pats Jungkooks back but then Hoseok moves him closer to himself
"That's what I fucking thought." Yoongi mumbles
"So anyone up for some orgi-"
"No, Jimin." Jin says
"OKAY JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED-"
"It's not that. It's so weird to sleep with your friends."
"Not my fault they like this ass."
"Wow Jin I was alone last night."
"Owie my heart."
"Yeah I really like that ass."
"I like your ass"
"THE FUCK?" Yoongi looked at Hoseok who just slapped his ass
"Puffy." Hoseok pinches Yoongi's cheeks
"I'm suddenly uncomfortable." Namjoon says
"Yeah no shit." Jin says as he grabs a napkin to wipe off Namjoons sweat
"Sleeping with friends is great. There's no feelings involved." Jimin says
"Yeah." Hoseok says
"Bitch you shut yo ass up we all know you and Yoongi fought last night and that's why you two didn't fuck!" Jimin snaps
"Oh damn." Taehyung drinks more of his juice
"This is interesting." Jungkook pours himself pineapple juice
"Just because it works for girls... doesn't mean it'll work for you." Taehyung says to Jungkook
"aw man." Jungkook frowns and puts his glass down
"Yeah aren't you and Yoongi already dating or something?" Jin asked Hoseok
"WHAT?" Namjoon asked
"No"
"Of course not."
"Tea." Taehyung said to Jungkook
the end~
END OF CHAPTER
A/n: yeah just don't ask