"There," Cinna says as he finishes fixing my shirt. He gives me a wink and steps over to Cato's stylist. As soon as he turns, I tug at the black turtleneck. When Cinna comes back, he raises his eyebrow and fixes the neck again.
"So, my talent?" I ask peering around him. Haymitch said it was a secret, and that Cinna would reveal it to me. He taps my neck and I take a step back.
The camera crew motions me forward.
"Good luck my dear!" Effie says as we walk towards the camera. I smile at the butterflies dotting her hair.
"Wait!" Cinna cries as I turn away. I turn back towards him and he begins to pin something on my shirt. I don't have to look down to know what adorns my chest. I give him a smile as the cameras begin recording.
The interview goes by in a blur, with me learning that tough Cato is actually a wonderful chef. They rush us outside where we say our goodbyes and they usher us onto the train. After two hours, I finally am able to settle into bed. When silence engulfs the train, I slide on some shoes and walk to his door. I don't knock but simply barge in. Haymitch sits on the end of his bed, sipping wine. He stares at me with confusion. Noticing a small black bead on one of his shelves, I shake my head. After a few minutes of silence, we hear the sound of breaks. Finally, we are stopping for fuel.
"It's so stuffy in here," I comment. Haymitch reads my eyes.
"I know what you need," He stands and we exit the train. An attendant rushes towards us, but I hold up my hand.
"We just would like some fresh air. He's drunk," I say with a smile. Haymitch glares at me before pretending to stagger away. "I'll get him!" I smile at her.
Haymitch and I reach the end of the train before he speaks.
"Drunk? Really?" He asks annoyed.
"It was believable."
"So what is it?" He asks and I open up. I tell him about my fears of messing up, my suspicion that Snow knows who I am. I tell him about finding things in my room upturned, pilfered through. About the white roses that litter my spot in the woods. His face pales, and a look mixed of terror and anger crosses his face.
"If we mess up, the entire plan will go down in flames. And the flames won't be mine," I say looking at him.
"We all could die," He says, staring into space.
"And we would take everyone close to us with us," I whisper into the dusky air.
"You can't fail. This plan has been in the works since way before your birth," Haymitch says, and his face grows sober.
"I know, I know! If we could just get through this tri-"
"Ashlynn. It won't just be this trip." Haymitch says cryptically. I turn to him confused.
"What do you mean?" I ask him. He shakes his head.
"Even if we get through this trip, and we get the seed planted, the cameras and Snow's eyes will be back in a few months. And every game. You are a mentor now! And they'll want to check up on you and Adonis's relationship. We're into deep, it' show time and you can't escape. We have to cover up our tracks, we need witnesses. The Capitol will now forever be in your personal life. You can't do anything but have a happy ending with that air-head. Ashlynn. It's time.
Dead air and silence surrounds us as the blunt force of what he says hits me. I will never be able to spend time with Carpenter, my brother, without people thinking something wrong. I can't say he's my brother, it would give to much away. I will never be able to go back to my comforting solitude. Yes, I like Cato. I'm not sure if it's love, not yet. But to spend my whole life with him? That would put him in great danger, and I don't want to risk that. I know that's what has to happen, but still. I have a couple of years, maybe one seeing as I turn 18 soon. And what about Mina?
"Do you understand Ashlynn?" Haymitch drags me from my thoughts. I nod solemnly.
"I do," I say. I can't help but scold myself on the choice of words. I have to save my family, the rebellion, myself, and even Cato.
I'm going to have to marry Cato.
As we make our way back inside the steel horse, silence seems to surround us. Haymitch walks me back to my door and embraces me fatherly.
"It will all work out. And when Ken decides to propose, he better be asking for mine or Mina's permission." Haymitch says. I laugh before realizing he is dead serious. With that, he pats my back and heads off to his room.
Shutting the door, I kick off my slippers and shrug my jacket off. In a single jump, I land in my bed, slamming my head down into the soft pillows. Slipping under the covers, I stare up at the ceiling.
The note slides under my door after dark. I know by the emblem who it is from, and I fight the urge to immediately rush over and grab it. After a few minutes, I throw the covers off my body and grab it. As soon as I read it, I shred it and slowly open the window, steadying myself as the wind whips into the room. Taking a deep breath, I release the torn paper into the air, watching as it flutters away.