Jess and May seemed so determined to introduce Rob and I and make us friends that I just went along with whatever they were doing because Rob seemed like a really sweet person who genuinely wanted to get to know me better. Of course I couldn't completely trust my judgement considering I had trust both Preston- for a short time anyway- and Vikk, and they had both betrayed me.
That night I knew was the beginning of something new because of how Rob seemed to really want to get to know me, and I also got to know him a little better. That finally confirmed that he was a volunteer who came in around 10 hours a week which was why I didn't seem him too often, but I saw the looks he was giving me.
He was glancing at me when he assumed I wasn't looking, smiling kindly, but he made sure to keep his distance. I was glad he kept away because I wasn't ready for a stranger to be inside my personal bubble.
Over the weeks I had spent in the shelter I realised that I had barely thought about what Preston had done to me, repressing everything all the way into the back of my mind because I knew it would completely destroy me if I didn't. Even though I remembered it completely, what he had done, I didn't think about it. I pretended it never happened.
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"Hey Lachlan!" Rob said brightly as he passed me in the hall. "Sleep alright?"
I nodded and gave him a shaky smile back, my arms once again full of books. It was like 10am and I was heading down to the library again to return them, taking a quick walk made me feel so much better after spending so much time inside.
"Heading to the library again?" Another nod, tapping my pocket to tell him that this time I had my phone with me. "Just a question, I know you're out there all day, do you have lunch?"
"No, don't have any money and I don't see any point in coming back here. I don't get that hungry." I said nonchalantly, shrugging. I did care a little though because I ate breakfast at 6am and didn't eat again until after 9 so I did get hungry during the day, my stomach growling while I tried to ignore it. Rob looked at me.
"You sure? That's a long time during the day without eating." I shrugged. "Here."
I jolted as he handed me a $20 bill and looked at him wide eyed, surprised.
"Wh-what?" I stuttered, pushing it back. "No, no, I can't take it."
"Alright." He said, tucking it back into his pocket, and I sighed in relief. "But if you don't take it, at least let me take you out for lunch? There's a real cute café like 5 minutes from the library that I've been to, I'm such you'd like it."
I didn't want to say no so I nodded, holding onto my books more tightly.
"Alright, I'll see you at one then. I'll meet you at the library."
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I was really nervous for most of my few hours at the library, I couldn't sit still and I could barely focus on my books either. I kept tapping my nails on the wooden desk or bouncing my leg, glancing out the window to see where Rob was and if he was coming.
He arrived outside the library at almost exactly 3 o'clock, waving at me through the window to catch my attention. Of course I had already seen him but I didn't let him know that, acting surprised when I glanced up at him and packing everything up. I had planned to come back after lunch so I left my books with one of the librarians, smiling in her direction. They knew me pretty well, I came there almost daily for multiple months.
"Hey Rob." I said, smiling shyly.
"Afternoon Lachlan, you ready?" I nodded and he gestured for me to walk beside him, which I did. "It's only a couple of minutes away."
We walked in silence, both of us too awkward to say anything and even though I was taller than Rob I almost had to jog to keep up with him because he was walking so fast. When he noticed my fast pace he flushed red and slowed down.
"Sorry, I didn't realise I was walking so fast." I shrugged.
"It's alright." I mumbled, stuffing my hands in my pockets.
We arrived to the café, still silent, and I quietly admired the tiny little antique shop that was clearly crammed full except for one table in the back corner. It was clearly popular and even though it was past what I would consider a general lunch hour, it was packed.
"We've got a table, don't worry." He smiled when he saw my pinched look. "The owners know me, I told them I was coming."
He led me inside and I took a quick glance at the quaint little place, not exactly pink and frilly but it was close to it. It was small but for some reason it didn't feel cramped, there were tables and people everywhere and it smelt of cinnamon and pancakes and blueberries.
For a moment I paused, thinking about Vikk and his apartment, how it smelled and how for a moment I thought he truly cared about me, but it wasn't true. I shook my head and got myself back to the real world, following Rob as he worked his way deftly between tables and people to a booth at the back- the one table I had seen that wasn't taken.
"This is my favourite booth." He smiled, moving the reserved sign so we could sit down. A waitress came up to us almost at once, holding two menus.
"Hi Rob, good to see you back. What's your name?" She asked me.
"Lachlan." I mumbled, flushing red with embarrassment. She smiled kindly, handing a menu to the two of us.
I scanned it and my heart sunk into my chest because most of the menu items were quite expensive and I didn't want to make Rob spend any money on me at all. Rob saw my look.
"It's alright, I know they look expensive but they aren't. I get a couple of discounts here and there as well." I was still red at the thought of him spending much on me, actually spending anything on me at all. "What do you feel like?"
I didn't say anything, my eyes scanning the menu so fast I didn't really take anything in. He saw.
"Do you want something sweet or savoury?" I paused.
"Umm... savoury I think." He smiled at my response.
"Okay, do you want something that's more breakfast food or lunch food?"
"... lunch food." I mumbled, a little embarrassed.
"So that's this part-" He pointed to a small section of the menu with about 6 items on it, "and you can pick from that."
In the end I went for a burger with fries, one of the cheaper items and Rob got French toast, and I was happy with my decision. It wasn't too expensive and the second we had ordered and the menus were gone, Rob started chatting happily. He didn't seem to expect me to input in the conversation which was nice and I was quite happy to sit and listen to him.
"So I went to-"