Jin's POV
❝ Seokjin Hyung,
Hyung, I have committed a very big sin towards you and I don't deserve to be forgiven. I know how much you hate me. I also hate myself because of that. I can't stop thinking what should I do with myself, what should I do to make you forgive me but at the same time I can't forgive myself.
But I know how to put your pained heart in ease. I hope by doing this, you won't be in misery again, hyung. I can't do anything much to repay your kindness but I hope this will show you how much I regret everything.
Just like Taemin, I also don't deserve to be standing before you. I'm sorry that I have lived only making your life a hell.
Please kiss Yoon for me, for the last time. I'm sure he will be growing up to be an angel like you. Jungkook is lucky to have you and him, and I envied him. I shouldn't have felt that way because I should've known my place, but I can't deny the feeling.
And lastly, thank you for forgiving me, for everything you have done for me. I hope you will find happiness in the future, Hyung. You deserve a beautiful world around you. Please be happy hyung.
I love you, hyung.
-Namjoon ❞
I folded the letter. My tears kept running down. I clutched it to my chest, feeling the pain as I tried to suppress the sob sounds.
I was alone in my room. It was almost 7 and Jungkook wasn't home yet. Today after taking me to the police station, Jungkook dropped me off at home and rushed to the office.
I didn't want to read the letter, I tried to wait until Jungkook home but the curiosity just kicked in as I really wanted to know the letter's content. And I couldn't say I regretted it because I was already in crying mess.
It was true Namjoon had done something bad to me, but he helped me a lot during my lowest time. He brought lights to my life, I even tried to accept his feelings towards me but I couldn't! I couldn't forget Jungkook even after we were separated.
Maybe his plan to separate Jungkook and I had worked, but he couldn't have my heart. It was unfair when we were forced to love someone when we already gave it to someone we loved.
And this might the reason why I couldn't bring myself to love Namjoon even after he had helped me a lot. Because I belonged to Jungkook.
Namjoon had regretted his wrongdoings and I had no right to judge him more. I just prayed for him.
I looked at the letter again.
"I forgive you Namjoon. Please rest in peace. Thank you for everything you have done for me. May all your kindness be paid off".
I put the letter inside the drawer. And I smiled as if a load of burdens were lifted from my chest. It felt so calm.
"Jin!" I heard Jungkook's voice filling the room. I immediately wiped off the remaining tears on my cheeks. I didn't want him to know I cried today.
I looked over and saw him walked towards me with smile plastered on his face. I smiled back and hugged him.
"I miss you", He whispered into my ear. I chuckled and tightened the hug.
"I miss you too", I said back. I was being sincere. I really missed him. We then pulled back and looked into each other. His tired face was shown and I hoped he would have time to rest, not doing some incomplete works.
"Have you read the letter?" He asked, with hands still on my waist.
I nodded my head.
"What does it say?" He added.
"Hmmm I don't know. Do you want to read it? It's in the drawer", I answered. I didn't know how to tell him and it would be better if he read it himself.
"No, I don't want to. I just want to know your feeling about him", He said.
My feeling? Sad? Yes. Mad? Yes.
"I don't know, I just wish him to rest in peace. He had done something very wrong, but he had helped me a lot back then. I don't want to think about his wrongdoings. I just want to think about me, about us, about our future together", I said.
"I always keep in my mind that forgiving is not for others. It's for me. Forgiving is not forgetting but remembering without anger and hatred in our heart. I want to heal my mind and my spirit, so I can bring myself to the new place called 'peace'. Just like how I forgave Taehyung, how I forgave Yoongi and how I forgave you. As the result, I still can persist despite of what has happened to me. Everyone makes mistakes, so do I. We learnt that we need to move on. And this is what I am doing now, I want to let everything go so I will live in peace with my family", I added.
The tears dropped again. I tried to let the hate feeling go because I wanted to live in peace. Who wouldn't?
He moved his hands to my face, cupping it and his thumbs gently caressing my wet cheeks, trying to remove the remaining tears.
"I'm so proud of you. Thank you for forgiving me and everyone that has wronged you. We don't deserve an angel like you, Jin. Thank you", He said. I smiled and hugged him again.
I closed my eyes, as I could feel my heart at peace. It was true, forgiving could heal our hearts. And I wanted to feel it forever.
♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥
I walked out from bathroom. The warm water seemed to have freshened my body. We were just arrived from my last appointment with doctor and I immediately took a short bath. It had been more than 2 months after discharged from hospital and I was glad I was fully recovered now.
We were in our own house. It was last week when we decided to move to our new mansion in the outskirt of Seoul. My house and Jungkook's old apartment had been sold. We decided to sell them as there were many bad memories had happened there.
We wanted to start a new fresh life with Yoon. We wanted to rebuild this almost broken marriage back and make sure to try making the journey to the future as good as we could.
Jungkook came in when I was standing in front of the mirror. I grabbed the lotion bottle and tried to put some in my palm.
He then walked to me and grabbed the bottle from my hand putting some in his palm instead.
"Let me help you", He whispered from my back and his hands worked from my shoulders down to my hands and to my bare back applying the lotion.
The coldness from his hands and the lotion gave shiver to my body but his soft caress gave me calmness and I couldn't help but closing my eyes feeling the sensation.
"Yoon is sleeping already in his room, it's our time now", He added. I could feel his body pressed onto my back and his soft breath caressed my ear.
I hummed and just letting his hands move slowly. He suddenly gave a soft massage on my shoulders and I didn't realize a soft moan leaving my mouth.
"Feeling good?" He asked.
"Y-Yes", I could barely reply him.
He then started to kiss my neck up to my jawline when I tilted my head hiving him a full access to my neck.
"I want to do it tonight. I have been holding myself and waiting for too long for you to fully recover and now it's the time, baby. Can we?", He asked me looking into our reflection in the mirror, after he stopped sucking my neck, asking for my permission.
And suddenly what the doctor had told us during my last meet with her came into my mind.
||
"Mr. Jeon Seokjin, everything is okay. I have checked your condition and your health has improved a lot since last month."
"Before I forget, I have advised you to not have any sexual intercourse before your husband recovered. But now I am gladly telling you that you two are free now. Just keep on having a good rest , I hope the best for you two."
||
I bit my lower lip and nodded my head. I seriously wanted it too. It felt bad for him, He waited for me to heal, both of my body and my spirit. He wanted me to be ready and that was the reason why he was holding himself.
"Really? Are you sure?" He asked again with his bright face showing he was excited.
"Yes", I looked down avoiding his gaze. I wasn't sure, but I felt embarrassed but not long after that I could feel my body lifted and brought to the bed.
He slowly threw me onto the bed while holding his gaze.
"Don't be shy, baby", He said with his fingers intertwined with mine. "I promise I will be gentle, okay?" He added.
"Okay", I replied.
Soon after that, the room filled with moans, kisses and screams between us. One round wasn't enough and we had been doing it like there was no tomorrow.
And I just hoped we didn't wake Yoon up at night, when his room was just across ours.
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Hi, it has been a long time since my last update. Been so busy, I mean really busy 😅
And I'm sorry, this is not the last chapter. I will be writing the last one and end this book. It has been a year and I still haven't ended it.
Hope you enjoy💜
Fiz~~