A few weeks later I was walking down the stairs early one morning while Cal was on the phone with Alex. He looked a bit happier than when hed shooed me upstairs an hour ago but not by much. His hair was wild from where hed clearly been tugging at it. "Cmere love." He muttered tightly tapping his thigh as I walked over. He frowned however, when I hesitated and flinched away from his hand. His eyes had a deep fire in them that scared me as he reached for me again. I shook my head backing up a few more steps. "Sweetheart I'm not angry with you its ok." His voice was rough and had a biting edge to it that just made me shake my head more. I jumped nearly falling over the couch when my phone dinged louder than normal. Ashton texted. He was going to be late picking me up. Great. I sighed and walked to the kitchen writing Cal a note that I was going to Ashtons for the afternoon and grabbed a gatorade deciding to sit on the front porch while I waited. "Hey love, Sorry Im late!" He ran up with a brilliant smile pulling me to the jeep helping me up. "Also sorry I had to bring the jeep. Luke borrowed my car for some trip he planned with Alex. Hey, whats wrong?" I guess I was being to quiet as he drove. His eyes looked worried when he came to a stop and turned to me. A deep frown causing his forehead to crinkle when I flinched away from his hand. "He was mad after talking Alex huh?" He sighed when I nodded and shrank a bit hugging my chest. When we pulled up to his house he ran ti my side just as I opened the door. "Here, let me help." He mumbled quietly but I shook my head trying to back away when his hand grazed my waist. I slid off the tall seat and trembled cowering away from him. His eyes looked deeply sad as he gently led me inside and to where he and Luke had redecorated a guest room for me. Tears filling my eyes as I looked at the wonderland they'd created. It was separated into three areas. One corner had a beautiful vanity with thousands of dollars worth of makeup and tools. Another had a large popasan chair with a gorgeous teal and black fluffy cushion surrounded by books and movies with a tall standing lamp. The final still looked unfinished as all it had was a guitar but the room was perfect to me. I fell to my knees as the tears fell and with the gentlest hand I touched the vanity. "This is your get away. You can come here any time you need to escape. The wall back here has a drop down TV, and the room is completely soundproof from the outside so no one will hear what you do in here. You are completely safe in this room." He sat next to me holding his hand out carefully pulling me to him when I put mine on his palm. "I know you resent how protective I am at times, but Im this way because I care and I want you to know youll always be safe with me." I nodded while rubbing my eyes a bit leaning into his embrace. "D do you know why hes so mad?" I asked while staring at my lockscreen of Cal and I on my phone a bit later. "Alex basically told him he cant just whisk you away to Florida without fully planning the trip. I guess Cal had asked him if he could take you like next week and Alex began lecturing him." "T that was supposed to be spontaneous though that was the point." I mumbled trying to not get angry myself. "He was just trying to give me a break from everything." Ash frowned and wiped a tear from my cheek. "Honey, our life isnt that simple. We cant just up and go somewhere. We have to plan with security on our part and the places we plan to... hey wait!" He yelled after me as I walked out and to Lukes workout room locking the door just before he caught me. "HEATHER ANN I SWEAR IF YOU DONT OPEN THE DAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW!!!" I let out a shaky breath backing away from the door after I unlocked it and hid under a table coveting my head. Flinching harshly when he threw the door open causing it to slam into the wall behind it. The vibration causing some glass to fall off the shelf and shatter putting me in a panic as I screamed and tried to run past him. I made it to the living room when strong arms wrapped around me holding me close. "Heather... Heather, bug breathe its ok you're safe I swear." Lukes voice was soft and sweet as he rocked me. My ugly tears staining his shirt. He was softly shushing me when Ashton walked in with a scary fire in his eyes. "Stay here honey its ok." Luke mumbled softly kissing my head as he sat me on the couch and wrapped a blanket around me before dragging ashton out of the room. I could hear them yelling in the other room and I wanted to leave but I couldn't. I knew that Luke would come back in a bit so I laid my head down on a pillow letting my eyes close.
When I woke up later Luke was sitting cross legged in front of me petting my hair. "Hi honey." He was being extra gentle as he crawled up closer. "How are you feeling? When I came back in here you were curled up shivering and asleep." "Better I guess. Lu, I wasn't trying to make Ash upset I swear I just..." but he put a finger to my mouth shushing me. "Sweetheart its ok I know. Calum is with Alex and theyre working out the details for your trip but Ash shouldnt have gotten that upset with you." I nodded and sat up rubbing my eyes. "Awe bug are you still sleepy" he cooes sitting next to me and pulling me close so I could cuddle into him yawning quietly. "Sorry I didn't sleep well last night cuz Cal kept moving and groaning." He nodded and rubbed my back softly pulling a blanket around me. "You just nap then. Ill take you home later." I hummed and nodded letting my eyes close again almost falling asleep before a cold hand landed on my waist causing me to flinch. "Oi sorry love. I just gotta reach behind you cuz Hals left 'er phone." I sighed and got up grabbing a water and walked to the back patio. "Just ignore Dom. Hes a cool guy, just kinda lacks a bit in social skills." Luke sighed as he sat on the stairs with me. His arm wrapped around my shoulders holding me closer as he wrapped a blanket over me like a cape. I rested my head on his shoulder after a bit sighing again. "Lu why cant I just have one normal day with no anxiety issues or people getting upset?" "You can bug I promise Ill make it happen somehow. But for now what about I drive you home, ok?" I nodded and walked through the house with my head down shuffling faster to get past Ashton. "Love, wait please Im sorry." He looked sad and worried as he ran over. He had a small teddy bear in his hand that was a pretty teal color. "H here, it was supposed to be for your birthday. But I guess an apology bear is better than a birthday bear." The bear was adorable and super soft but the glittering diamond bracelet it had as a belt was what caught my eye before I handed it back. "Take that back Ash its too much." "Wha... i... please honey. Its a gift just ta..." but I tuned him out as I walked out the front door. I knew exactly where he'd gotten the bear and I knew it cost more than I could ever afford . I couldn't possibly accept it. My stomach was tied in so many knots it was making me nauseous as I waited in the boiling hot car for Luke. By the time he finally climbed in I was dripping sweat and a sickly pale color. "Woah baby why didn't you start the car ?!? You look like you're gunna pass out." He quickly started the car and put the AC on full blast before running to the kitchen and grabbing a gatorade. "Drink this. I dint need Cal freaking out when I drop you off." I nodded and stared at my lap sipping the drink.
When we got to Cals house I kept my head down shuffling past both of them even when Cal asked what was wrong. "Nuthin just cant do anything right." I mumbled quietly going up to the bedroom and running a cold bath. He walked in as I was drinking some juice waiting for the tub to fill. He stood in front of me stopping me from going into my closet with his arms crossed. "Baby? Whats going on?" I was staring at the floor shrinking away from him when he stepped closer causing him to frown. The room was silent minus the water running into the tub making my anxiety that much worse as he carefully stepped closer to me with his hand out. "Its ok love. Im here. Ive got you." His voice was soft as he finally wrapped his arms around me holding me close. "Oh honey, youre shaking." He murmured quietly holding me even closer. I could hear his frown and tried to pull away only for his arms to tighten around me. "C cal Im sweaty and gross please just let go." I whimpered after a bit trying to pull away again. My heart cracking as he sighed and dropped his arms. I quickly drained the tub taking a fast cold shower instead and curled up in my closet. "Heather, honey can you tell me whats wrong?" "I i dunno I just feel wrong. Everyones mad at me and I keep messing up." I was shaking as I pulled on a tank top and shorts letting him hold me close. "Sweetheart were not mad at you I swear. And you haven't messed anything up. Its ok shhhh." I was sniffling and on the verge of crying when he kissed my head shushing me gently. "Lets just take a nap yeah?" "Mnot t tired though.." i mumbled as he carried me to the bed. "Well then well just cuddle." He gently pulled me into his side weaving his fingers soothingly through my damp hair as I nuzzled into his chest. His soft humming was incredibly soothing and I slowly let my eyes shut. I was clinging to him as he started to pull away. "P please don't leave me." I begged quietly mumbling after "e everyone else does." "Ohhh baby girl," he sighed sadly holding me closer. "Sweetheart I swear Im not leaving you." His eyes held so much sincerity it made my heart swell even with the cracks. "Ive got you love it'll be ok. Maybe mot today or even tomorrow but I swear it'll be ok." I nodded shaking again as a few tears fell while I cuddled into him more. My mind was completely at war with itself and my depressive side was winning at the moment. Which made me clingy and scared. Whimpering every time he'd pull away even slightly. One of his hands gently cupped my cheek after a bit getting me to look up at him. "Baby just breathe ok. Ive got you... Do you wanna talk to me about whats going on in your pretty head?" His voice was soft and gentle as his thumb gently rubbed mg waist. "I i dunno I just feel like Im wrong. Like every piece of me is wrong c cuzIm too big and yet too small in all the wrong places. Like I cant do anything wright and all I do is make you and the guys upset, and I swear I don't mean too. A and I made ash cry today c cuz I told him to take back the expensive bracelet bear thing that he tried to give me and I keep seeing the heartbroken face he made." I kept rambling until it wasn't even words coming out just hysterical blubbering and whimpers. He sat and listened and soothed me the whole time. Letting me talk out all of the horrible feelings and thoughts until I was just nuzzling into him and breathing shakily. "Ive got you honey its ok," he cooed after a while as my eyes started to slip shut.
I giggled when I woke up later seeing cal in a very pink sweater and boxers with crazy bed hair walking back from the bathroom. "Well hi cutie," I winked and giggled more. He smiled sleepily and hummed as he crawled up curling around me again. "Mmm youre warm and nice." He mumbled tightening his arms around me even more while I reached up fixing his hair. "Youre so precious cal." "Im nothing without you Heather. Youre the shining star in my life. Always guiding me in the right direction. Youve got this gorgeous heart and soul that draws me in like a magnet, and I love every single thing about you." His words made my heart melt as he lightly kissed me a few times pulling me closer each time hed pull back to breathe. "Hmm I could do this forever with you." His cocky smirk and wink had me blushing and trying to hide as he chuckled holding my hips tighter. I smiled shyly holding onto his biceps when he rolled over and hovered above me. His eyes had a devious sparkle in them as he leaned down kissing me slowly. His body lightly resting on mine as his arms caged my head. "Wanna show you how much you mean to me my queen." "A are you sure? I mean we could jus..." he cut me off with the softest kiss and smile. "It's adorable how flustered you get when I say that. But honey I wont ever force you into anything. Ive seen you hurt too many times to even consider that." I nodded and hugged his neck tightly mumbling into his ear. "I love you bub." His bright smile made my tummy all warm and fuzzy. "I love you even more."
I was sitting on the couch later on thinking about what hed said with a frown. How could he think he was nothing without me when he had everything. He was living his absolute dream life. If anything I was a tarnished spot on that sparkling life. Each thought was taking me deeper into that dark hole that was consuming my mind. "Sweetheart whats wrong?" His voice was soft as it broke me from the dark thoughts and made me look at him. "H how could you say your nothing without me when its actually the other way around? You're living your dream Calum. But I'm just coasting from one dark day to the next causing everyone nothing but pain and misery." A small tear fell down his left cheek as he held me close. "First off..." he lifted my chin so I was looking in his eyes, "you are the most important thing in my life is what I meant when I said that. You make me a better person. Yes, I have a dream life but you make it better because Im not alone anymore. And second, you have never and I mean NEVER brought misery to our lives. If anything youve brought so much happiness and pride. I used to think the phrase 'my better half' was just cliché and dumb, but you genuinely are my better half. I really wish I could show you." His eyes went wide before he was digging in a drawer for a bit before pulling out his old iphone 4. "This was my phone before I met you. Im pretty sure theres videos of how I used to act with girls." I sighed and lowered his hand with mine, "bub those dont count because we met when we were still kids. You havent..." I sighed and turned away. "I know youll get mad at me for saying it but you havent had a proper relationship since you got famous beside me. I mean you had plenty of flings.." I was trying to keep my tone in check. Even though the thought of those skanks made my blood run cold. "But you haven't had a long term girlfriend since before you git discovered. So how could you possibly know Im your 'one'?" I was terrified to look at him sighing quietly as I slipped off the bed. "Sorry. Ill go." But his hand gently wrapped around my wrist pulling me back to him kissing me deeply. He pulled my legs up his waist until i was straddling his lap. "I don't want anyone else... only you." He held my hips lightly. "I don't need some failed relationship to know that Im so head over heals in love with you it scares me at times, but I know it's real because just seeing you walk in a room makes my heart race. Theres this piece of me that will always be yours. I want you and only you honey. I know that may not be what you need to hear right now but damnit Im bad at this whole feelings thing." He cupped my face with both hands leaning his forehead against mine looking deep in my eyes. "You're my one and only Heather." I melted kissing him lightly curling into his arms. "Mgunna marry you some day I swear. Wont leave you like those other assholes." His voice was soft as he nuzzled into my neck kissing the tender spot under my ear. "Sleep honey its still early," he mumbled when I yawned after a bit snuggling into him more. "Not yet just wanna enjoy the moment a bit longer." I sighed softly hugging his waist tighter. His soft chuckles making me smile as he kissed my hair. "Whatever you want love."